Those Movie Reviews I Did

[The Pizza Delivery Guy]

For the sake of keeping my clutter out of Writer's Room, I've decided to move my crappy movies that I made when I was younger.The reviews will be posted here now so you can have a choice between reading them or not now.

 

Movie 1 takes place in 2009. Most of it in San Francisco. A war breaks out between cartoons rated for Adults vs. cartoons rated for Kids. Lead roles are: Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Stewie Griffin, Elmo from Sesame Street, you get the idea. I counted one day and found out I wrote over 500 expletives in the first movie. The story I think is really neat. The main character (Winnie the Pooh) starts out as a fighter pilot for the Kid's Show Army when he is accused for the murder of an innocent, kicking him out of the army. He then befriends the secret agent that the government sent to keep an eye on Pooh. The agent over the course of the movie gives Pooh inside info on what's happening in the war.

 

During one of the early battles, there's a part where a traitor comes out. The traitors were shows that were rated the opposite of the enemy joined the enemy. The first one was the talking Moose from the old Noggin channel (Now Nick Jr.) Well, he goes to the Adult show's headquarters and gives Stewie Griffin, the leader of the Adult show army, a briefcase containing a detonator switch. This remote control detonator is the centerpiece of the entire movie series. It turns out the briefcase was empty and Moose that went in there was just a robot. The real Moose and the Bird from Noggin were escaping with the real remote.

 

Here, Stewie sends Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny from South Park after Moose. About 2 pages of the South Park kids yelling at each other until Moose crashes into a sign. After this both the armies go out in search of the detonator remote. A joke I play through the script is that Dora the Explorer, leader of the Kid's show army, wants to retain the "Family Friendly" look of kid's shows. So whenever she hears one of her troops swearing she will yell at them. She'll say something like: "Stop saying f*ck." Hilariously hypocritical.

 

The Kid's show army doesn't know why the Adult's show army is there. So when the Adult's show army finds the detonator remote and fall back, the Kid's show army has no idea why and doesn't chase them. So they all just go home. At home, Pooh meets the secret agent. The agent cuts a deal with Pooh. If he doesn't contact his best friend Piglet over the course of 12 months the agent will not arrest him. Pooh refuses at first, but the only other choice is 99 years in prison, so he makes a run for it in his 1970 Chevelle (Another thing that sticks throughout the series.)

 

Only after running does Pooh realize this stupid mistake. He calls Rabbit (Still from the Pooh show) and yells at him for reading ahead in the script. So now Pooh stops running, and his punishment is a 36 month extending of the original 12 month ban. After that Pooh goes to Rabbit and the two go to Long Beach. They see a man in the distance. Turns out it is Michael Myers. So they run away from him and get back to Pooh's car. It doesn't start of course, and they run away some more.

 

They go to a warehouse. Inside is the Moose. They spend all the time yelling at Moose because he is supposed to be dead, but they turn to see Myers in the doorway. Just in time Peter Pan swoops in to save the day. He then gets shot by Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. Kronk then is burnt to ashes by Hercules. He is then sliced in half by Cruella DeVille. Then the Power Puff Girls kill Cruella DeVille. I assume I was really tired when writing this part. Pooh, Rabbit, and the Moose leave the warehouse.

 

The next scene is incredibly pointless when I write about what I learned in school that day. The South Park kids went to a Colorado coal mine of some sort and Kenny gets killed by a drag line. Dora sends in Pooh's fighter squadron consisting of Bloo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Micky Mouse, and Little Bear. Pooh isn't there of course because...

 

He, Rabbit, and Moose are hiding behind a hanger of some sort while the opening for Vigilante 8E plays. They observe the scene and when it concludes are spotted by the Vigilantes. They are interrogated by the Vigilantes. Pooh states that he's the 3rd highest ranked fighter pilot in the Kid's show army, and is reacted by Convoy from the Vigilantes by a stereotypical old man response. It's a joke played in the script that Convoy is a complete moron and everyone has just gotten used to it.

 

Pooh explains how he didn't kill the person but Moose just goes crazy and tries to kill Pooh. Moose gets killed for real this time and the Vigilantes join forces with Pooh and Rabbit.

 

Now they are driving outside of San Diego explaining what happened between the two scenes. After a promotion for Easy Mac, Chassey Blue from the Vigilantes explains how they found the Bird dressed up as a crow. It would have been difficult to spot, had it not been playing a banjo. I don't get it anymore than you do. The blue-crow-bird thing explains to Pooh when he and Rabbit find the Vigilantes that Moose wanted to take over the world after the Kid's show armies blew the sh*t out of each other and would not be able to defend from an attack from his own force. If anyone ever watched Noggin, they would know that the bird doesn't actually talk, and just blinds. So all the characters just repeat in English what the bird Blinked.

 

Off they are onto adventure again, and the next scene starts with a sign saying Las Vegas 35 miles away. All at once Adult's show soldiers appear. They all hide and Pooh notices a very conveniently placed fighter jet nearby. He tells the others to search from the ground in the cars. He takes the jet and starts fighting from the skies and this song plays. Soon enough the rest of Pooh's squadron appear after the battle and they fly off somewhere. I don't explain where in the notebook I wrote it in.

 

Next they show Stewie yelling at the South Park kids. Little later Chassey is there and starts to interrogate Kyle. Then she calls Cartman fat and then an amazing compilation of curse words are spat and Chassey gets shot.

 

Now Pooh is back with Rabbit traveling, and they are all the way in New York City. Quite the quick trip. 5 lines later they are in the center of yet another battle. These armies aren't messing around. One of the armies attack the empire state building causing it to collapse. He curses the Adult's shows, ignorant to the idea that the Kid's shows may have done it. It's never explained. Next over every radio, an alien transmission is picked up. Then Coyotes, the enemy of the Vigilantes, begin to attack the team. Rabbit asks if it is too late to back out of the team, and Pooh explains in grim detail how to get out of the group.

 

It would cut next to a hidden base with Stewie Griffin again. He is now commanding an army of Barbie Dolls. The Barbie Dolls shoot directly forward for some reason, killing most of them. That's about it for that section.

 

Now it shows the aliens landing. They come in peaceth. The aliens talk like they're 15th century poems. The aliens explain they come to earth to make friends with humans, eat cheesecake, and meet Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter is conveniently in New York at this time and greets the aliens. The aliens bow before him and explain how he is basically their God. Then out of nowhere the alien gets shot and the battle is back on again.

 

Stewie eventually retreats his troops. After the battle, Pooh returns to his home. Rabbit is nowhere in sight. He gets out of his car and is immediately confronted by the secret agent. Pooh is afraid at first, but the agent says he has good news. Apparently information had surfaced that Moose was Jigsaw from the Saw movies. The bird was paying for everything Moose did, and the parents of Jigsaw's victims demanded $1 million dollars for their losses. Well, apparently, Moose was not directly the killer, as he rounded up the Vigilantes to actually find and capture the victims. Pooh complains to the agent that he brings a plot twist to the story every 27 seconds and then drops the subject entirely. Seriously. He asks the agent if he wants to go to the Super Bowl instead.

 

They do go to the Super Bowl in a literally impossible match up of the Chargers Vs. Dolphins. After the Chargers intercept for a touchdown, the half time show begins with very-unlikely-at-this-point-in-pop-culture AC/DC. Everyone is just hanging out having a fun time when the game is attacked by the Adult's shows. Everyone panics and Pooh's squadron rush to get their jets. Right away Pooh is called. It's the agent. He explains that it really wasn't the Vigilantes that were Moose's cohorts. Just goes to show how good this agent is at his job. He only bases this on the fact that Adult's shows had stolen Chassey's car.

 

Pooh and his squad return to find Stewie on the field. Dora yells for Pooh to attack Stewie. Amazingly, Micky Mouse was able to get his plane in the air, but is hopelessly drunk. Pooh tells Little Bear to guide Micky to a landing. But as soon as this happens, Stewie hacks into Pooh squadron's radio and tells them to "catch him if they can." The Adult's shows fly away and the Pooh squadron chase after them. Very quickly they make it to the shores of Japan. The Vigilantes are already there fighting the coyotes. The Vigilantes find the South Park kids and interrogate them. They say that Stewie is in the plane above them and the Vigilantes use their hover pods to get up to the plane. The plane crashes into that pointy tower in Tokyo. Each side blames the other and Pooh's squadron return to SF in shame.

 

We're back at Pooh's house. Pooh is reaching for his phone when it rings. It's the agent, and he's being chased by Stewie's men. The agent can only spit out "Get out of San Francisco" before he is killed by Stewie's men. Stewie picks up the phone and tells Pooh that he has planted a bomb underneath San Francisco and pooh only has 5 minutes to get out. He gets Rabbit who had been in the shower (in case you were dying to know where Rabbit was) and they take Pooh's car. Pooh travels well over the speed limit and gets chased by police. When the bomb goes off, Pooh is far enough out to get shockwaved, but no damage. The police cars explode. Pooh shouts "Holy sh*t" when he speeds past a cop station. The cops lay out exposition before the scene blackens.

 

There's a random battle going on in Dallas, Texas. Pooh tells Rabbit to take the Bird to a safe place. He battles for a while. After winning, Pooh only sighs.

 

The next scene is something I had in my head over 3 years ago and never put on paper. I'll try my best to remember. this song plays. There is no other sounds. Pooh is driving down a desolate forest road. He is having violent flashbacks of the war. Around 30 seconds into the song he comes upon a police roadblock. He steps out of his vehicle, puts his hands up, and is shot and taken down. He shakes himself out of a vision to show he's still driving. At around 1:15 of the song he stops outside of a bar. He goes in and talks to the waitress as the song ends. The bartender notices that Pooh looks gloomy and Pooh explains his role in this movie very well in one sentence: "I've gone through a whole lot of sh*t this week." The bartender gives Pooh a motivational speech and Pooh runs out of the bar.

 

Pooh is now at Rabbit's house in Los Angeles. John Torque of the Vigilantes calls Pooh to give the plot another random twist. Torque says he found out the original Adult's shows leader did not actually declare the war, but he was shot by Stewie and he was put in charge as a replacement. Torque also discovered that the Adult's found the remote detonator back in that earlier battle, finally ending the dramatic irony that even I forgot about at this point. Torque can't say anymore, because Pooh has to go and fight the big battle. The Adult's shows have sent their entire army, Air Force, Guard, and everything in between to Kid's Shows held Fort Knox.

 

The scene begins with Pooh's squadron flying out to Fort Knox. They talk to each other saying stuff like how the war has made them better pilots and friends and how they love each other. Just like every other opening to tragic scene in film history. I fill this scene by saying "Battle for 4 minutes."

 

After that Pooh says he is out of ammo, but sees from far away an approaching GMA (Green Mortar Anti-Ground) bomb. I know there's a joke in there somewhere but I can't remember. Apparently the only way to stop it without hurting anyone on the ground is for someone to fly out and stop it themselves. It is just like the latest Dark Knight movie except 3 years early. They send Little Bear. I did this because Little Bear barely did anything at all and it wouldn't seem like such a loss if anyone else went, but that is what took away any of the tragic feeling because it wasn't a character the audience would have connected to. So to me now it just seems like a lame attempt to recreate the one mission in Ace Combat 5Homecoming with a death

 

So he's dead now and everyone in the movie is sad except Stewie who is amazed he took down one of those 4 unbeatable pilots. Ace Combat 5. So there is sad piano music when suddenly the screen would darken. It would now show Dora the Explorer and Homer Simpson, the true leader of the Adult's shows army, making amends and ending the war. Everyone just stops fighting like that to listen in to the broadcast. When it's over they all are suddenly the best of friends, disregarding the fact they were fighting to the last man 30 seconds before.

 

Stewie yells at his assistant Elmo, who apparently turned over the power of the Adult's shows army back to Homer. Throughout the movie Elmo was very annoying to Stewie and most people watching would probably be very happy to see that Stewie finally kills Elmo here. With the war over, you'd think the movie would be over right? The best is still to come.

 

The next scene shows Pooh once again picking up a phone. Only the 5th scene to start like this. Remember how he wasn't supposed to interact with Piglet for 36 months? I don't blame you if you don't. Piglet somehow does remember, and protests to it. But Pooh says he couldn't help himself. 2 lines into the conversation, the door in Rabbit's house opens. You think the government was listening into Pooh's phone line? Nope. Pooh is forced off the phone and STEWIE'S voices comes on. Stewie says "This asshole has halted me for the last time." Piglet realizes he has to save Pooh's ass "again." I think I was referencing Piglet's Big Movie here, but I can't find the scene in my mind right now.

 

Pooh is drug off to his car in the garage. He finds that Stewie has already found Rabbit and The Bird. Remember the bird? Why he went after them and not Pooh's squadron, the ones who actually foiled Stewie's plans, I really can't remember. I guess it's just to get sequels to work out. He tells them to shut up, because he holds the key to their (and his) fate: The remote detonator.

 

The remainder of the film is practically identical to the ending of The Devil's Rejects, my favorite move of all time. I'm saying this once, so if you want to see the movie without spoilers, stop reading.

 

Pooh, Rabbit, and the Bird are taken to Piglet's house. Pooh says that it is Piglet's house because you'd have no idea otherwise. They are taken inside and are strapped to chairs. Stewie brings up important battles in the war. He finds some sort of torture to accommodate the part the character played in that battle. The 3 main characters are brutally tortured for a long time until Stewie let's Pooh go. Pooh runs out of Piglet's house as Stewie covers Piglet's house in gas and lights a match. He sets the house on fire and goes out to chase after Pooh with an axe. Pooh hides in Piglet's tool shed when he finds Dora in there.

 

I said "what" when I read that. Now that is taking "stalker" to a whole new level. Dora guides Pooh back to Pooh's car, but gets axed by Stewie. Pooh runs off again, but Stewie shoots Pooh's leg and Pooh falls. Stewie climbs onto Pooh and beats him for all the things he had done in the war. Stewie then begins to choke Pooh. The view goes cinematic, the music is incredibly dramatic, and heartbeats are heard. When all hope seems lost, who else but PIGLET appears behind Stewie, lifts him off of Pooh, and then snaps his neck, finally killing him.

 

Now this songplays as Piglet comforts Pooh, who tells him to go into the house and get Rabbit and the bird. Piglet runs in and gets them out. Rabbit and the bird rush out to embrace Pooh in a tear wrenching reunion with the house burning in the background, that may or may not get a reaction from the crowd this time. Pooh thanks Piglet for everything that he has done, which was nothing before a minute ago.

 

Battered and bruised, all of them climb into Pooh's car. Before Pooh leaves he pulls alongside Piglet, asking him if he's sure about leaving. Because remember, the government was supposed to be listening to Pooh. Piglet nods and Pooh says "We'll come back for you." Piglet sees them off, and he walks into his burning home. As Pooh drives away, the house explodes in the background.

 

If you've seen the Devil's Rejects, you'd know the Free Bird scene. If you haven't, watch the movie first. The Free Bird scene will ruin the entire movie for you if you don't. This scene play nearly identical to the one in The Devil's Rejects, music and all, except with flashbacks from the war, like earlier in the movie. Eventually Pooh comes upon a police roadblock, like in his vision. I guess the government was listening after all. Pooh looks back to Rabbit and the bird. He thinks about all he had done in the movie, and wasn't going to stop for the government. He finds some guns. He takes a desert eagle, rabbit gets a shotgun, and the bird gets an M-4. They are about to make their epic final stand when a train comes out of nowhere, hitting the car and killing all 3 instantly. That's where the movie ends.

 

Whew! That was quite the long summarization. Like I said at the start, I really like this movie's plot, but my 12 year old mind butchered it. I would like to rewrite it with original characters and better twists. I really want to, but I don't think I'd do it the right way. There are 3 more movies to summarize after this one. This was 65 college ruled notebook pages long. It was great to revisit this after so long and it was fun to rewrite. I will definitely do the other movies. Well, what do you guys think?

 

[The Pizza Delivery Guy]

Movie 2

 

At the beginning the camera would show an ocean. Then a pirate ship would appear. On board are a bunch of cartoon characters, and what would ya know it? Pooh is the captain. That's right. Pooh is alive again, yes. I'll explain it in a moment. So they're just hanging out in the ocean when quickly they see land. On the land is a WWE Stadium. Yep. On top is wrestler Sheamus. He makes a terrible joke I made about Ireland when Pooh realizes he can't stop his ship. The ship crashes into the stadium, and since they are there already, Pooh just decides to stay for the show.

 

After the show, Pooh tells his first mate Piglet he is turning over captain status over to him. Why? Pooh is going to become a WWE wrestler. Even though Piglet protests, Pooh just walks back into the stadium.

 

So Pooh goes to Vincent McMahon's office. A joke in the script is that Mr. McMahon hates it when people are in their office when they aren't supposed to be. Pooh says that he wants to be in the WWE and McMahon laughs in his face. Pooh explains who he is: The guy that led a squadron of fighter jets to victory in the latest war. McMahon asks if it's the war between cartoons that had an enrollment poster in every department store. Pooh said he quit the army after nearly getting 2 of his friends killed.

 

He takes out a flip cam and it shows the final moment of the previous movie. Instead of getting hit by the train, they all jumped out of the car at the very last second. He then became a pirate. He has no idea why and he doesn't like it. Great choice of profession then. After such an emotional conversation McMahon decides maybe he can get Pooh into the WWE, as long as he respect's McMahon's authority and defeats big stars. Pooh doesn't sound thrilled at all and when he tries to leave McMahon's office, he is blocked by Sheamus. Sheamus is angry that Pooh has hit him with his ship. Sheamus was the one that was angry to begin with and when he leaves, Pooh is the one that "Isn't done with" Sheamus. But Sheamus just leaves.

 

Piglet is already at sea talking about baseball when a new ship appears!! On board that vessel is Bugs Bully. He is Bugs Bunny's evil twin. Bugs is Piglet's first mate. Piglet says that evil twins are put into movies when writers run out of ideas. Bugs Bully uses missiles to fight Piglet, and who else but the Incredible Hulk comes out of no where to help. The Hulk throws a rock and it knocks out Bug's Bully's assistant Little Bill. So Bugs Bully uses Little Bill as ammunition against Piglet. Little Bill breaks Piglet's pirate ship in this single hit. Apparently Little Bill can cause more damage than a missile. Well, the ship sinks.

 

Back to the WWE, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler give exposition like they always do in real life, saying there is another new rookie that will reveal himself against Pooh. It heads backstage to Pooh. Randy Orton comes out to say good luck to Pooh. Orton was my favorite wrestler when I watched WWE. I had to insert him into the story, I apologize. When Orton says this Pooh gets defensive, assuming he will be attacked by Orton. Orton responds by saying he only attacks important people and Meatloaf.

 

Pooh heads down to the ring and we meet the other new rookie: It's the Jolly Green Giant. Except he now is named the Not-So Jolly Green Giant because his wife left him. He joined WWE to take out his anger. Pooh asks if they can talk it over and gets stepped on.

 

Pooh has been hospitalized as a result of being stepped on. Piglet visits him in the hospital. Pooh's injuries are as follows. This is exactly how I wrote it: "Well, I got steped on by the Not-so Jolly Green Giant. He crushed every bone in my body, I lost my left lung, gullbladder, right kidney, and pancreas. I lost 300mL of blood and you can die when you get 301mL lost... this sucks."

 

A nurse brings in Pooh's lunch and Piglet makes a Mexican joke. Pooh is offended by the Mexican joke and it startles the person Pooh is sharing a room with. Pooh motions Piglet to see who it is. It's Bill Cosby. He does stereotypical Bill Cosby stuff and Piglet says how it must be unbearable, Pooh says to check out who is across the hall. Piglet leaves and checks out the room across the way. The person there is Ken Jennings, the guy that won a bunch of money in Jeopardy a long time ago. Ken apparently has some sort of smart disease because everything he says is something really smart. When Ken begins listing every decimal value in pi, Piglet leaves the hospital.

 

Next is another WWE moment. Jerry Lawler summarizes the previous 10 minutes of the movie just in case someone had gone to the bathroom then. He also says that the Not-So Jolly Green Giant has already won the Intercontinental Championship. Randy Orton is in the ring and suddenly Pooh comes out. He says that he can't believe he's better already. Sheamus comes out and actually makes a well written statement: "You have lots of nerves to come out here! Too bad I have to pinch all of them." Pooh isn't even phased by Sheamus until N.S.J.G.G. rips the roof off of the stadium. Sheamus says that he and N.S.J.G.G. are now tag team partners. He tells Pooh to find a partner for when the teams will face off later.

 

Pooh is now in the locker room wearing a restraint jacket in deep thought about partners. Orton comes in and agrees to being Pooh's partner after he asks only once. The way I wrote it with Orton sighing I guess I wanted the two to slowly grow partnership but that really ruined any chance of that.

 

We're back at sea again. All of Piglet's crew is in a little raft since the ship sunk. Over the previous scene, Piglet came up with the idea to steal Bus Bully's ship. They float to Bully's keep. Piglet climbs the side of the ship and at the top drops a rope for the others. As soon as the crew are in the ship they have been able to get it sailing. Just as quick a small raft is chasing after them now firing. They fight for a while and Piglet gets away with Bully's ship. They had barely gotten away from the little raft alive and Piglet says that they need to train to become better pirates. To fill this scene I just wrote (training montage).

 

Back at WWE, the tag team match is beginning. Pooh says to Orton he has a special finishing move and says he'll bring it out later. That's all the info on the move he gives Orton. I fill this part by saying (begin match. go for 3 min.) Pooh tags Orton in and they execute the special move. Orton pins Sheamus, and it looks like he and Pooh will have the win when the N.S.J.G.G. merely lifts Orton off of Sheamus and flicks Orton into Pooh. He then steps on them both.

 

Pooh is back in the hospital again. He and Orton have been conveniently placed in the same room. Not to mention Bill Cosby is there again too. Orton is disgusted at the idea of Bill Cosby and Pooh tells him to check next door. Homer Simpson, going from leader of the Adult's shows army in the last movie to a guy that blew his leg off with a homemade bomb, is in the other room. Orton tells Pooh they should just get better.

 

The next scene is blatantly copying a movie I assume I wrote right before writing this part. The giant is just walking somewhere at night when he falls into a pit. In some control room, a scientist says that there was a drastic weight change in pit 3.72101237991. The test goes on anyway. It turns out it is the sand test from Spider Man 3. The Not-So Jolly Green Giant transforms as a result from that to the Sandman.

 

Piglet said that they needed to gain more territory. They find the leader of the Penthouse Ship Fleet and fight them for 2:51 minutes. Piglet says it was almost too easy to beat them. Right after saying this Piglet is surrounded by Bugs Bully's $50 fleet. Piglet asks if the $50 meant that was the amount of money Bully spent on it. It actually means that Bugs Bully's fleet was 100 times better than 50 Cent. Piglet insults Bully's intelligence and Bully says he would sink them if it wasn't his ship they were on. Little Bill who somehow managed the attack from earlier asks Bully what they should do now. Bully tells them to leave. Why? Because Bully has the detonator switch from the first movie!! Told you it would stay relevant in the series.

 

The next scene starts with more WWE announcer exposition. It's been 2 weeks since the last WWE scene occurred. Sheamus and the N.S.J.G.G., who is now the Sandman, have won the Tag Team Championship. Orton and Pooh have recovered from their injuries. The announcers are interrupted by Sheamus and Sandman. Sheamus says that he and Sandman are the phenoms of WWE, and they want more title shots. Pooh and Orton come out to protest this. Pooh says that they'll have to beat him and Orton for #1 contendership first. Without Orton's consent, he put him vs Sandman in Hell in a Cell. Pooh will fight Sheamus in a ladder match. The first match starts already after the announcers summarize what just happened in case the crowd are complete morons. But first...

 

Piglet is discussing with Bugs Bunny how they need more ships for their Sinkhole fleet. Bugs says that he's known a guy for a decade, he builds stuff, but never a ship. At the guy's house the guy says the very same thing. Piglet says they will provide materials, and the guy says he will try. After one of those circle transition things the guy shows them the ship. It says in the notebook that it looks amazingly well built, but has a chicken leg holding the bow together. I don't get it either.

 

Next is one of my favorite parts of the movie. After docking the ship, Piglet goes home. He begins to put dishes in his dishwasher. He pauses dramatically and says "Wait a minute, I don't own a dishwasher..." Piglet then goes to the bathroom and turns on the shower. He looks in the mirror and takes off his captain hat (Hope your visual image of Piglet hasn't been ruined by adding this hat). When he moves the hat and can see the mirror again, his image is replaced by Michael Jackson's. Piglet screams. Michael Jackson says he is haunting people's houses because it is adequate excitement. He scares Piglet once again. Piglet enters his shower and stands there for a while doing normal shower scene stuff. Suddenly the shower curtain rips open. The psycho music plays, a dude is holding a knife, and Piglet screams yet again. It turns out that dude is Pooh, who is returning Piglet's butcher knife. Pooh really knows how to make an entry.

 

So Piglet asks how Pooh's match went. He takes out what I call a portable T.V. which now could easily just be a smartphone. On it it shows that both he and Orton won their matches, but Orton lost his arm. The doctors got it attached again, but Orton has to take 9 months to recover. I have no idea what the doctors are basing that recovery time off of since Pooh's horrific injuries healed in only one week. Pooh pretty much ends that with saying he needs a new partner. The conversation is cut off when Piglet's phone rings. Apparently, Bugs Bully's ship already got stolen. Pooh thinks it is his original ship, the Grande Bolas. It has taken me up until now to find out what "Big balls" was in Spanish. Piglet never told Pooh it had sunk. Pooh is in shock, and Piglet tries reassuring Pooh by saying he has a brand new ship. Pooh tells Piglet to just go, and Piglet runs out of his house. From outside, we can hear Pooh say "Michael Jackson?"

 

Next we're back in the WWE locker room and Pooh is talking to Orton on the phone when Sheamus barges in. Sheamus says Pooh doesn't deserve an Intercontinental Championship title shot. Pooh says he will easily beat William Regal. Sheamus laughs. He tells Pooh that Regal isn't the Champion. If you can remember, Sandman is. Pooh faces off against Sandman. He punches Sandman, but it nearly breaks his hand. Sandman says that since he is made of sand, his ego can be as solid as a rock or free as a cloud of dust. Pooh tells him to lay off the similes and fight. Pooh is defeated by Sandman.

 

Back with Piglet and the pirates, Piglet is asking Bugs Bunny how the Bugship was stolen. Bugs just says: "Well we were asleep and suddenly it was moving." Piglet says that their "safety net of safety" was gone with the ship back with Bully. This is evident because already Bugs Bully's $50 fleet is already attacking Piglet's ship. They fight for a while, and Little Bill tells Bugs Bully that if they don't retreat the ship will sink. So Bully retreats. Piglet's crew jump with joy. Piglet says they're going to attack Bully tomorrow.

 

Now on the WWE Pooh is finally facing Sheamus for #1 contendership for WWE Championship. They fight for 2 1/2 minutes when Pooh is defeated. Pooh is devestated. He goes home after the match.

 

It's the next day and Pooh turns on the news. For some reason national news is covering the WWE. Sheamus has won the WWE Championship. Pooh shouts "Nooooo!" very dramatically. He goes to the WWE and paces the locker room talking to himself. He remembers how Orton had told him that Sheamus was mental, and would do anything in the world to beat you. Wait, Pooh thinks, Orton didn't say that, he actually said: "If you ever touch my waffles again I will RKO the life out of you." Sheamus comes in to gloat, and when he leaves Pooh sits down thinking how he had lost his touch after the war in the last movie. He gains confidence after hearing Orton's voice saying:"Remember to submit before the pin." I have no idea what it means, and it is never brought up again. It gives Pooh confidence, and he is prepared for his next match.

 

Back again with the pirates, they have found Bugship and are ready for battle. They fight for 2 minutes and then sees Bully with the remote detonator. Piglet tells his crew to stop firing. Bully doesn't know why they have stopped firing, then realizes he still has the remote detonator. He gets very cocky, even going as far as to tease Piglet's crew in 5 year old levels of immaturity. Little Bill tells Bully not to rub it in their face too much. Bully doesn't listen. Piglet asks Bugs Bunny why Bully is acting so immature. Bugs says, "What? He's an asshole!" Piglet suddenly gets an idea. Little Bill keeps telling Bully to stop acting like an idiot. Bully says he can do whatever he wants with the remote detonator, and he hoists it high above his head. Piglet now comes swinging in on a rope and he grabs the detonator out of Bully's hand. Piglet's crew cheers from the other ship as Piglet flies around on the other side... hitting a wall. He gets captured.

 

So Pooh is about to go in for his confidence boosted match when he is called by Bugs Bunny. Bugs says that Piglet has been captured. Pooh says he will be there right after WWE. Once he loses yet another match and yet another #1 contendership spot, he tries to leave the arena when McMahon sees him. Pooh is really trying to leave, but McMahon keeps him there long enough for him to tell Pooh that Orton wanted to give him the Money in the Bank briefcase. Pooh suddenly doesn't care about Piglet anymore, and he goes to tell Sheamus this.

 

Sheamus is cutting a promo about how awesome he is when Pooh comes out. He stands on the stage and explains how he got the briefcase and how he will see Sheamus at Wrestlemania. Some random narrating voice says that Pooh brought Sheamus back down to eath. Everyone complains about the narrating voice, so it goes away.

 

Now we find Piglet in a prison area on the Bugship. He finds that Dennis Anderson, Terry Labonte, and Alan Jackson are also trapped on this boat. Pretty random assortment of celebrities. Piglet hopes he can get out fast. Bugs then orders a raid on the Bugship. The entire crew piles onto the Bugship. For this scene I wrote (They go in and get Piglet it takes 5 minutes and play some sort of song.) Once they find Piglet they make for an exit. They come upon a fork in the place. Piglet bends over and picks up a fork. Some Bugship guards see them and the Sinkhole crew have to jump overboard. Bully sees this and is angry. Little Bill asks what they will do now. Bully says it is okay, they still have half a movie to kill them. That's right, we're only a little over halfway done.

 

I just found out something wild: That bird from Noggin is named Z. That will be easier to write than "the bird". Anyway the WWE is back on and Pooh is watching over an NXT rookie, even though Pooh is still a rookie himself. Who is Pooh's rookie? Ronald McDonald. Yep. Rabbit and Z, who you remember from earlier also survived, come in. Rabbit makes a joke and hears studio audience laughter. He asks where it's coming from? Pooh says he has to go watch his NXT rookie. Rabbit asks who it is. Ronald comes in saying he forgot his boots. Rabbit asks in a sarcastic way: That is really your rookie? This gets more studio audience laughter. Pooh says that Ronald wanted him, but Pooh really wanted the sumo wrestler. More studio audience laughter. Z blinks. Pooh yells at Z for using such bad language, Ronald isn't that bad!

 

Jeff Burton out of nowhere shouts "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!!!!" Game show music begins to play and the audience cheers. What you're about to read about is the most pointless thing in all 4 of these movies. This is the game show That's What You Think. Jeff Burton explains the game's rules. They play the game and lose about 2 minutes later. All they win is a potato. The entire set is cleared. Pooh says they should just go and watch Ronald.

 

After Ronald's match the WWE arena breaks out into a riot, causing the entire structure to fall apart. Pooh finally agrees with Z, maybe Ronald is pretty bad.

 

Next we're with Piglet who is relaxing on a beach being lathered by bikini babes. Bugs Bunny comes in and tells Piglet they should worry about Bully and the detonator. Piglet ignores him, Bugs gets an awkward phone call, and then leaves Piglet to his bikini babes.

 

Back at Pooh's house, he is watching the news again. "In entertainment news Taylor Swift has been found killing a helpless fly. People are beginning to wonder when newscasters will talk about something actually important in entertainment. In sports, Sheamus is calling out his Wretlemania opponent." Pooh comments on how Sheamus should've run out of "Call outs" by now and goes to his freezer.

 

What follows is another funny moment in this script: Pooh screams. Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh is sitting in the freezer. Pooh says "What's next? Colin Mochrie asking for peanut butter?" There's a knock at Pooh's door. Colin Mochrie is outside and he is wondering if Pooh has any Bread. Pooh walks back to his kitchen and says "What's next? Leonardo DiCaprio committing suicide outside my window?" Megan Fox walks up to the window and shoots herself. Eeyore who is still in Pooh's freezer says Pooh should just stop talking. Pooh agrees after shouting "When a million dollars rain down on me." Nothing happens. Pooh goes to the door to give Colin Mochrie the bread. Colin asks if Pooh has any jelly as well. Pooh slams the door on Colin, almost immediately it rings again. Pooh says "What now?" Eeyore is there, "Wait, how did I get here?" Pooh slams the door one last time.

 

It's finally Wrestlemania, and the announcers summarize the WWE portion of the film so far. Pooh and Sheamus come out to finish this, WWE Championship on the line. The match is neck and neck for 4 minutes. Sheamus takes out a lead pipe, and Pooh has to dodge it. Pooh manages to take down Sheamus without getting hit with the pipe and win the WWE Championship.

 

Here's exactly what I wrote for Sheamus's reaction to the title loss: "Uhgh... Ya ain't gettin the WWE Championship, and ya ain't never gettin the WWE Championship, ya see, I'm prying it from your lifeless hand." He brings out Sandman, and they are about to kill Pooh when RANDY ORTON runs out and KOs Sheamus. This makes Sandman really angry and he grows to humongous size. Pooh says they have to take Sandman like men, but Orton goes and hides behind a bush. It turns out there was an RPG behind the bush and Orton had hit Sandman before he stepped on Pooh. They keep Sandman at bay for a while and realize they will need a lot more firepower.

 

Right in the nick of time Rabbit comes flying in in a taxi with rockets. Pooh thinks they have no chance to lose when Rabbit is blown up by Bugs Bully and the rest of Bugship. Pooh curses his thoughts and Orton asks what they could possibly do now. Pooh looks at some papers and says they should look west in 10 seconds. Orton asks if that's the script Pooh's reading from. Pooh slowly hides the papers, saying nooo.

 

Right then, the Sinkhole's new ship attacks Bugship. Piglet isn't on the Sinkhole ship, and Pooh and Orton board the Sinkhole ship. The Sinkhole ship and Bugship go out to sea and begin to battle within a dramatic whirlpool with epic music playing. Pooh comments on how similar this was to the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

 

Sandman, now back to normal size, asks how he can help Bugs Bully. He just can't get wet. Bully doesn't need any help since he has the remote detonator. He hoists it above his head again. Piglet flies in in a little airplane and grabs the remote detonator once again. Sandman goes after Piglet. Piglet's water bottle flies out of the planes cup holder and covers Sandman in water. Sandman starts transforming into mud. He can no longer chase after Piglet and he falls to the sea below. Sandman completely muddifies, and he breaks apart in the waters.

 

Piglet jumps out of his plane and lands on Pooh's ship. He gives Pooh the remote detonator. Piglet walks off to go and get some more water. Pooh is about to put the remote detonator into a bag when Bugs Bully slashes Pooh with his sword. Bully slashes at Pooh, whilst telling Pooh about his hardships to get that detonator. After all the slashing, Pooh's stomach has wounds that spell out "dick." That's a 13 year old's sense of humor right there. He is pushed down by Bugs Bully and is about to be stabbed when Orton taps Bully's shoulder. Clearly annoyed, Bully turns around and gets RKOed.

 

Here in the final scene, Pooh is looking at the domain he's created and how he's defeated Bugs Bully. He wonders if Piglet even knows what's happened. Piglet was behind Pooh when he said that, and is offended by how much Pooh thinks he doesn't care. They get into a fight that most couples wouldn't even get into. The fight ends when Pooh says "f*ck you." Piglet responds by saying "No Pooh," pulling out a gun, and finishing with "f*ck you."

 

A gunshot is heard and the screen would whiten. Pooh wakes up in his bed as his alarm goes off. He sits in bed thinking that it was all just a bad dream, when he looks over to see a Greek god in his bed. The Greek god says "I wouldn't count on it," Pooh screams and wakes up yet again, saying that it was all just a bad dream. He goes outside his house and is suddenly floating in space. Pooh says "Ok, this isn't right." He then bumps into a planet. The planet says "Oh, oh sure, you're in outer-f*cking-space with infinite room and you just have to run into me. Pooh screams once again and wakes up once again. He says to himself it was all just a bad dream. He goes outside his house and sees a giant eyeball. Pooh screams once again. As he screams the camera would pull out, seeing the States, the earth, continue pulling out into space showing the galaxy, many galaxies, and would pull out to eventually a black piece of paper, with a microscope and a man looking through it. The man would say: "Excellent! My experiment is working perfectly; Making multiple living organisms and scattering them out over a universe! I'm so winning first prize in the science fair! And with that, he turns off the lamp on his desk, filling the screen with black, and ending the movie.

 

Geez, there's still two films left to go and I'm already questioning my sanity! I called these movies "Disaster Cartoon." It was a combination of Disaster Movie and cartoons. Clearly the plot went in a different direction. I left out a lot of random, unimportant scenes in the first movie's review, but did everything for this one. I like the pirate section for the story in this one, but could easily leave out any WWE part and all of the random 13 year old humor.

[universetwisters]

You should make this into a youtube series and make this the theme song:

 

 

[The Pizza Delivery Guy]

 

You should make this into a youtube series and make this the theme song:

 

 

lol, I'll think about that.

 

After days of digging through years worth of crap, I finally found movies 3 and 4. They are both significantly shorter than the first 2. I actually wrote in that I started writing it on Aug. 2nd, 2010 and finished on December 3rd, 2010. Take that into consideration if you ever read this in full.

 

This one has a slogan I suppose I wanted to carry through all films:

 

"This film shows how the hilarity of adult rated cartoons contrasts with the significance of kid rated cartoons. And it proves we are here to just hate them both."

 

That's what I meant, not what I wrote. What I wrote was incredibly retarded.

 

After the opening credits, the camera would go into Winnie the Pooh's house. He is reading a newspaper. The headline reads: "Today is December 21, 2012. How long do we have to live?" He would throw it to the ground in anger that everyone is going around screaming that the world is going to end. Piglet knocks on Pooh's door, and Pooh slams the door on him because he's angry. Pooh realizes his mistake quickly and opens the door to apologize, but Rabbit is standing there now. He says that Piglet has already gotten to the top of the Windrix Building and is about to jump off.

 

They rush to Pooh's garage, and the door opens "slowly and dramatically," much to Pooh's impatience. When it finally opens the Chevelle from the first movie is there, and Pooh speeds off in it, forgetting Rabbit.

 

There's a crowd at the Windrix Building looking at Piglet up top. Piglet's excuse for wanting to jump is that they are all going to die anyway. Pooh asks him if he was going to die anyway, wouldn't he want to go out in a blaze of glory? Piglet doesn't cooperate and Pooh looks for something to catch him with, as if this was GTA San Andreas. He finds a truck with cushions in the bed. Pooh runs to it but it blows up. He spots a different truck with pillows, and goes to it but it too blows up. He now sees a truck with a net. That too of course blows up. Pooh asks what's going on and Andrew W.K. responds by saying "We're filming for Destroy Build Destroy." Pooh now goes and gets a baseball card out of his car. Piglet sees it and jumps right at the card. Pooh safely catches Piglet doing this. The crowd that had gathered is really let down, especially one guy who "Had 30 bucks on him dying."

 

Pooh asks why Piglet wanted to jump in the first place. Piglet said he never wanted to jump to begin with, and he did want to go out in a blaze of glory. Now Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory song starts playing, but Pooh says: "Stop. Not yet." The screen would freeze in place, and a clock in the corner would say 8:00 A.M.

 

Suddenly were at a university where Pooh is apparently a teacher. I guess wrestling didn't work out too well after DC2. The class ends and someone named Kelly comes in the room to say an artifact that Pooh found I guess was the bottom of a Mayan pot. Pooh says they could sell it on Pawn Stars. So Pooh leaves the school and calls Piglet to go to Burger King for lunch. Now the camera cuts to an empty field, where a battered and nearly unrecognizable Bugs Bully finds the Remote Detonator. He's so excited that he spikes the Detonator, activating it. There's a loud beep as Bully realizes his catastrophic mistake. Then a Fire Geyser erupts underneath him. Multiple spring up around the field.

 

Now we're back with Pooh, and while waiting for the food is talking to Piglet who explains that a guy who is never ever seen named Remy said he left his clipboard on top of the Windrix Building. The people on the ground must have thought Piglet was going to jump, so Piglet does only the most sensible thing and plays along. Pooh says never trust Remy, because he is smart, but dumb. Before Pooh can explain what he means, their order is ready, and they go in to eat.

 

Now Pooh is driving to some music when he sees people running down the street in fear. He looks to San Francisco and sees that the whole city is on fire and crumbling down. Pooh turns on the radio but only hears static. Through the static we can make out: "catastrophic...burning down... Mayans were right...getting raped...by fruit flies." Pooh hits the radio and thing come in clearly. The announcer says that worldwide destruction hat hit San Francisco at 12:40 P.M. Piglet inside the car too says "Dude! It's the end of the world!"

 

The announcer says that based on the pattern of the hits they can say the last place to be hit would be New York City. Pooh tells Piglet to pack his theoretical bags, because they're going to Manhattan. The screen freezes again. 1:00P.M. reads the clock.

 

Everyone is stuck in a traffic jam now. Pooh looks to the next car and sees Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. It's a joke through EVERY DC film that Tigger is the most vulgar of every character, spouting off more expletives than most episodes of The Boondocks in one line. Tigger says it's a "Damn bitch ass sh*t that he can't get a f*cking inch every hour. Interpretative sex jokes ftw.

 

Now is one of my favorite parts: Pooh and Piglet are about to get out of the car when marathon runners run past the cars. Pooh stops one and the runner says that the first runner to get to NYC would get the key to the earth, probably made out of silver, painted gold like most running awards. When Pooh asks how many are running, runner #2822 runs past. Pooh sits back and says "There goes that plan." The side mirror on Pooh's car suddenly forms a face. The mirror says that it is the Magic Mirror, and will answer anything. The joke is only funny if it is word for word, so here it is:

 

Mirror: Hello! I am the Magic Mirror! I can answer question!

Pooh: Great! How can I get out of here?

Mirror: It isn't that easy. It has to have "Mirror Mirror" in it and has to rhyme.

Pooh: Uh... Mirror mirror on my car, how can I get to Manhattan afar?

Mirror: I can't tell you that.

Pooh: Mirror mirror, what the hell? Why can't you tell?

Mirror: My shift just ended

Pooh: Mirror Mirror, don't leave! I'm gonna heave!

Mirror: Dude, get me a little later.

 

Runner #42622 runs by Pooh's car, and Pooh sits back again and says: We're gonna be here a while.

 

I'll continue in edit.

Edited May 16, 2013 by The Pizza Delivery Guy

[The Pizza Delivery Guy]

Right after the above, Eeyore is living in China. A Chinese soldier is watching Eeyore building his house. Eeyore keeps messing up and the soldier keeps yelling at him about it. It would show the Earth again, with all of Europe on fire, and it spreads over Asia. The clock in the corner would say 2:07P.M.

 

After 2 hours in the traffic jam, the cars have only moved one whole foot. Conveniently, Rabbit and the bird Z fly over Pooh in a helicopter, and give him and Piglet a lift out of the jam, much to everyone else in the jam's dismay. They talk about nothing important for a while until a lava rock is thrown at them. Rabbit barely dodges a barrage of lava rocks. The group bickering distracts Rabbit long enough for them to be hit by a lava rock, destroying the helicopter. In their parachutes, they glide safely down into a cactus patch.

 

They are walking now and Pooh questions whether they're walking in the right direction. To give that answer is Jack Sparrow, who is holding a grudge over how similar the previous DC movie was the Pirates of the Caribbean. They fight "for 2 1/2 minutes like ninjas." When the time's up, Sparrow and the pirate ship light up in a white glow and just disappear. Pooh decides that's a victory. The clock in the corner appears again, saying 4:44P.M.

 

Now they're walking in a desert, and Piglet says his first line since the traffic jam. They see another group ahead of them and run to catch up. One character in the group is Dora the Explorer again, who I actually forgot to mention kills Boots very violently in the first film. When they get there, all of them: Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit, and Z inexplicably get the hiccups. They all hold their breath to lose the hiccups. A wind goes through the group, and when it's gone, the team exhales. Suddenly, everyone in the group but the protagonists are levitating upside down. Dora asks who we ask for help when we don't know which way to go? Random people in the group say "map." It keeps going until Dora takes out the map and commences to deep throat it until she suffocates. Everyone in the group but the protagonists do this. The team look is despair as this happens. Rabbit says that it's just like the Going-On. Pooh questions this. Rabbit says it's the movie where there's a wind that makes people kill themselves. Pooh says that Rabbit actually means The Happening, but Rabbits keeps saying it's The Going-On. They get into a huge argument. Piglet even joins in at one point. Z tries to stop them but gives up and the clock in the corner says 6:00P.M.

 

Here's another hilarious scene that must be re-written here. The camera shows a bustling NYC. It's like the flashback in the movie I Am Legend.

 

Officer: Remain calm. There are still helicopters left.

Lady: You have to let me in, my baby! My baby!

Officer: No one wants your ugly, snot nosed kid.

Lady:(camera close up. Motivation: surprised) You bastard!

 

She would beat up the officer using her baby as a weapon.

 

Back with the team they're still arguing about the name of The Happening. Z does blow a whistle to get their attention again, and Pooh says that the only way they will get to NYC on time is to go back and get the car. He waits 4 seconds for someone to volunteer. He sees that no one does, and says he has an educated and mature solution. He shouts "Not it!" Rabbit does too and Z blinks. Piglet is the unlucky one who has to go get the car. Now a 5 minute walking montage. I can't imagine how that would look.

 

Right when Pooh asks if the desert ever ends, Rabbit sees a town in the distance. They run toward the town with corn stalks all around them on the sides of the road. A reference that only I would ever get would occur here:

 

In the original DC 3: Romantic Comedy, it would open with Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo breaking down in Gatlin, Nebraska, which in case you didn't know is the setting for Children of the Corn. They would be killed and mounted as scarecrows in the cornfields at the end. I never finished Romantic Comedy, only scene 1 and the ending. So I scrapped it in favor of an Apocalypse. Back to the reference, they would be standing as scarecrows on the side of that road. It does foreshadow what happens next.

 

When they get into Gatlin, Pooh says that it's abandoned. Rabbit says that it's a ghost town. Z blinks and Pooh says that Z is right and they should not fight now. Rabbit gets mad that Pooh never says that he's right, and Pooh says that's because Rabbit never is right. Now they get into another heated argument.

 

With Piglet, he's finally found Pooh's car. He drives off and the corner clock is at 7:00P.M.

 

Pooh and Rabbit are still arguing when Z notifies them that there is a box. Inside is an ear of corn. And Rabbit says it smells fresh. The city can't be abandoned if that random ear of corn in a box is fresh. Suddenly they are surrounded by kids. Pooh says he didn't see that coming.

 

Now for a dumb filler scene: Piglet is driving toward Gatlin. He sees all the corn and suddenly corn starts falling from the skies and into the car. (Pooh's Chevelle has always been convertible.) Piglet says what the f*ck? Then [insert product for advertisement] falls down, followed by buckets and elephants. Piglet looks up to see what is dropping all this stuff, and sees it is only birds. That's it. All that happens.

 

Pooh Z and Rabbit wake up tied to chairs just like the first DC. They see kids. They're the children of the corn. The team are going to be sacrificed tomorrow in hopes to end the Apocalypse. Speaking of Apocalypse, the kids get hit by Fire Geysers, and team escape outside. Piglet is just getting there, and they all leave. The corner clock says 7:30P.M.

 

I made the funniest scenes at NYC by far: At NYC a helicopter is leaving and a cop asks who is next. The entire crowd screams at once. The cop doesn't know who screamed first, so they hold a contest to see who can stand up the fastest. John Morrison wins by a considerable margin. Everyone is mad because: 1. Morrison is trained to stand up fast. 2. One guy is fat and was still on the ground. 3. There should be more helicopters. 4. One guy's hearing aid broke. The President appears. One guy says that he can't be the president, because the president is black. The president says ah well and gets into his jet, which is hit by a lava rock. The man says he deserved that one.

 

With the team, they come upon a man selling chicken. Pooh says it's about time. They are in Tennessee. Pooh says the chicken is great. It's Tennessee Fried Chicken. The team leaves and the man is crushed by a lava rock. Another montage passes by and they are nearly to NYC. They look to be home free, until Pooh shouts: Holy sh*t!! Corner clock says 10:00P.M.

 

Rabbit asks what it is, and Pooh says it's a combination of molten rock and anger, resting for 4 billion years. It's The Thing, from the Fantastic 4.

Pooh says they have to fight the Thing. He takes out a gun (why hasn't he used this over the course of this movie?) and the bullets bounce right off the Thing. Suddenly a small knife materializes in Pooh's hand. It's the Flea Blade. The flea blade tears right through the Thing, killing him(?)

 

Now comes an incredible plot twist that actually comes out of nowhere. It doesn't make much sense, but it is surprising.

 

While everyone is congratulating Pooh for having the Flea Blade making heavily forced Kingdom Hearts references, PIGLET walks out in front of them all, heading to the helicopter. Pooh can't believe his friend has betrayed him. Piglet explains that he's saved Pooh countless times and Pooh has done nothing in return. Pooh sent Piglet on a suicide mission to get his car. Piglet made it to Gatlin just in time to save Pooh, but still no thanks. You can kind of relate to Piglet in this situation, that Pooh's been a douche in this movie so far. In any case, Piglet is going to kill Pooh and escape by himself. Rabbit tells Pooh to use the Flea Blade, and when Pooh looks back to Piglet, they are suddenly in the "Zebra Place" from the final battle in Kingdom Hearts 2. Piglets all decked out in the final boss getup. They yell at each other for a while. Then they fight. Just when it looks like Pooh is going to win, Piglet blocks a shot sending them back into the real world.

 

Piglet runs away to the helicopter. Pooh says there has to be a way to stop Piglet, sees a line of fiery circus hoops leading from the helicopter to Pooh's car. Pooh remembers the upgrade he made to his car, and he rushes to the driver's seat. He drives up to the hoops at full speed, and ejects himself, sending him flying through the hoops. Think Flat Out 2 here. Piglet asks the pilot why he isn't moving the helicopter out of the way, and the pilot says that the director told him to stay there. Piglet says Of course, the director... and Pooh impacts with the helicopter, causing a magnificent explosion. Pooh lands safely in the NYC waters. All the people start booing, because Pooh's stunt eliminated everyone's only chance to escape.

 

Pooh is with the rest of the team, and finally begins to realize why Piglet betrayed him. Pooh says that he was right: Piglet really was going down in a Blaze of Glory. The song plays now over the debris of the helicopter, and the corner clock says 11:30P.M.

 

You're not going to believe it. That's halfway. There's still more after this.

Edited June 1, 2013 by The Pizza Delivery Guy