The Victim

[epicluca]

What is a victim? At some point in life we’re all a victim of something, it could be fraud or burglary or peer pressure, you might think that none of that would ever happen to you, and it probably won’t, but causing it to happen to someone else is a lot worse.

 

This is a story of how 60 years ago, I fell victim to something and how through that victimisation I made someone else a victim too, this might not make sense but if you listen to the story it will, so we start with the year 1947, when I was just a kid making honest money when out of pure coincidence I met FJ, the man that would change my life forever.

So I worked as a tram driver, just a regular day job that would get me through the days, It got boring though so to pass the time I’d write short stories about whatever. One day i was finishing the last route, driving up Hollywood Blvd, Past the Hollywoodland Hills, which are now known as the Hollywood Hills, then back to the tram station. I was just a kid trying to earn a living in this dead end job, but I wouldn’t be pushed around by anyone, and I proved this one day when some huge black guy approached me at the front of the tram and started causing trouble, my memory is pretty rusty on this but it ended with me knocking him to the ground with one punch after we got into a fight.

 

All my colleagues were cheering at first but then their expressions changed, I turned around to see the guy pointing a gun at my chest and before I could react he shot me. I woke up some time later in the hospital to find this guy next to my bed. I started freaking out until he got me to calm down, then he did something I never expected, he pulled out a bottle of beer and some flowers and gave me an apology, we had a conversation that would change my life, he told me about his line of work, in extortion for the mob, and how he thought I was a target they wanted dead, I didn’t think twice about the poor other guy who was gonna get shot because He told me he was impressed with my punch and said he might be able to get me in, being the stupid kid I was I jumped at the chance and told him yes. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself as FJ, I stuck my hand out and introduced myself to him, and he said he’d write me when they wanted me to come.

 

Days passed, then weeks, no letters. I went to the post office every day but still had nothing, FJ probably forgot about me, I was extremely disappointed but my mood changed completely one day when I was slumping home from the station. Not even half way home a group of guys in suits stopped me, I tried to push past them but they grabbed me to stop me from moving I tried screaming for help too but they covered my mouth. Then this shady guy asked me in a gravelly voice if I knew FJ. I nodded in fear and they let me go. They told me about how FJ had told them about our conversation at the hospital and that they were impressed that I managed to knock him to the ground in one punch, they offered me a position as the muscle in the group, they gave me an address and some money to suit up before I went there, and long story short those few months were amazing, I got lots of money, so I could get nice clothes, nice girls and no one messed with me.

 

As all things though it didn’t last as long as I’d hoped, throughout the year I got in trouble with the cops and a few tie ins with other gangs, I think I was hospitalized more than I can remember but that’s not the point, I was having a great time but slowly more and more people were being “let go” from the mob, people that did a bad job would go through this one door and never come back, God did it smell whenever that door opened. After a while we were back to square one, only 10 or so people around so we all had to do more. As you know I was just muscle, working alongside FJ, the man that got me into all this. In a way I should be thankful but if I could change the turnout of that that day I probably would, but there was no escaping this life. If you wanted to quit then they’d do it for you, if you know what I mean. It happened way too often around here and that’s why we were so low on numbers, it’s also what destroyed our reputation in the city and with the five families, suddenly the high life became the low life. To everyone in the city we were a joke and no one would take us seriously when we offered our help to them.

 

FJ pulled me aside one day and told me about something that was going down that very day, our boss was an idiot who had no idea on how to lead a gang, but FJ did. He was going to send someone undercover to one of the enemy gangs The Caprizis and order a hit on our boss, which would make FJ the boss and by his choice, me second in command. This sounded great but also risky, I asked him who was going to go undercover but somehow I already knew the answer. And I was right, he wanted the cleaning guy to do it, for good cash as well. Well it was good back then but now it equals to about 10 dollars. Anyways FJ got the cleaning guy suited up and gave him an address and the money to go and do the job, now it’s pretty obvious that he could have just left with the money and never returned but FJ promised that if he pulled it off successfully then he could get a promotion, we all sat around our bar for a few hours waiting for his return. Eventually there was a knock on the door, FJ and I jumped to our feet walked calmly to the door and opened it, suddenly two guys burst through, shot the boss and left, we all stood there shocked as the guy that ruined us lay on the floor, white as the October fog.

 

We didn’t see the cleaning guy for a few days, but it didn’t matter. With FJ the boss now things were getting back on track, we had our financial problems almost sorted out, we were getting new people week by week and starting to rebuild or friendship with the five families. Near the end of August, almost a month after the boss got smoked the cleaning guy just waltzed on in, regular janitor clothing and started cleaning like he was never gone. It was pretty funny really, FJ came out of his office and walked straight past him and just greeted him before stopping in his tracks, turning round and grabbing him then pulled him to his office.

There was shouting for a bit but eventually it turned into laughter and the two of them came out smiling, FJ explained that the cleaning guy was going to the Caprizis place when he was approached by two bums in an alleyway, one of them had a gun and the other had a knife. They tried mugging him but he managed to make them change their minds, basically we sent him out with $2000 to offer the Caprizis, but these bums said they’d kill our boss for $50 each. We were all surprised that the cleaning guy could do this, we never heard him talk but that night when we did, it turned out he was really clever and well spoken. Long story short that night the cleaning guy wasn’t the cleaning guy anymore, he was Frank the manipulation guy. We would send him out on jobs with wads of cash and he’d come back with three quarters of the cash and still have the job done, we were all happy with FJ as the boss but no one got on the wrong side of him.

 

One November evening FJ and Frank went out to try and form an alliance with The Caprizis, but it didn’t go so well. FJ radioed for me and the guys to go and help them, not exactly telling us what was going on, but when we got there it was ugly. FJ had been shot in the arm and Frank was out cold on the floor, luckily I bought a gun as always, because like FJ said you can never be sure what might happen. One day you could be buying an ice cream for a girl then that girl could pull a knife out of the cone and stab you, it was crazy advice but good enough for me. I’d never used a gun properly before, only when I was younger.

 

FJ told me what happened, he had a proposition for the Caprizis and Frank was trying to convince the boss but it didn’t go as planned. Frank was dead and FJ was bleeding out, there was no chance of him healing with the hospital system back then, so all FJ could do was sit there, my hands were shaking, we were just sitting there thinking what would happen if the Caprizis found us. I felt bad for Frank, he never had to do any of this, he fell victim to peer pressure and it got him killed. After a few moments of silence FJ told me I was going to lead the group after he went, he didn’t know why but he knew that he would die tonight, either from the gunshot wound in his arm or the Caprizis going after him in the future, he told me that if he made me the head now then the Caprizis wouldn’t know about it and still go after FJ, I didn’t want it but I knew it would happen one way or another. We decided it was all clear because nothing had happened for a while so FJ stood up and the split second he came out from behind that dumpster, he got shot in the chest about 30 times by 3 Caprizis, one with a shotgun, one with a pistol and one with a rifle. I didn’t know what to do, they must know I was here because they knew FJ was there, all I could do was sit and wait. I wish it was as clichéd as movies where there would be a dramatic final speech from the dying character, but in this case it wasn’t FJ was dead right there, before he could even realise the Caprizis were there. I peeked around the corner and to my surprise they were all turned around smoking cigars, I took this as a chance to avenge FJ, so I grabbed my pistol, loaded it quietly then went behind the 3 Caprizis.

 

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened them then just let rip, I shot all three then started running away. As I was running I heard a piercing high pitched scream, I stopped and turned around and my jaw just dropped. I walked over slowly to what I’d done not able to believe it, I was dizzy, and my eyesight was fading. I couldn’t see much properly but there was a woman, with a pushchair. The woman was on the floor and it was my fault, I could never live with myself for it. I woke up in hospital and for a brief moment and figured it was all a dream, all this had never happened and I would just go to the tram station that morning. I felt relieved until I sat up a bit more to find police sitting by my bed. Everything was a blur, but eventually I come to terms with it. I had ended a mother’s life and her child was now a victim because of me, the child would grow up parentless, all because of me. I had caused this child to become a victim, that’s all I could think. Why did I agree to help FJ? Why did I shoot the Caprizis? Because I was a selfish dummy who wanted the best for our gang, I didn’t think about how I abandoned my perfect life, with my normal job and my dreams of making it big as a Hollywood writer.

 

The LAPD didn’t want to see me for long, they were sickened by me. They sentenced me to life in prison and that was that, I got out after 40 years of good behaviour and I was dumped into the alien world I knew nothing about, new technology stranger than space, I couldn’t use any of it properly and after a few months of freedom I couldn’t stand it anymore, I got myself into an old folks home when I was 63, I was one of the youngest there. I had no friends or family, and for the last 30 years of my life I’ve had nothing but pain, the parentless child must be in his 70s now, having a life of nothing but hurt and confusion. On an ending note I want to apologise to the victims of life, the victims of everything I did in the mafia and also to myself, for failing my sorry excuse for a life.

 

As the policeman finished reading the 6 pages of writing found on the dead man’s desk all he could do was feel sorry, that this man went through everything he did, but also hatred, that he caused so much pain. After a life of harmony, greed, power and guilt, Lance Bryant was found dead in his room at 6:27 AM on December 13th 2007, no one showed up to the funeral service.

 

 

If anyone finds a problem with it then reply because I'm handing this into my English teacher soon, and need it to be perfect.

Edited April 14, 2013 by gtamad8

[Mokrie Dela]

This is very messy. It's a long winded report, and I'm getting no emotion, no feeling from it. The start was promising but it failed to take us back to witness the scene. The gunshot is only referenced, told - show us! Drag the reader kicking and screaming into it, make us clutch our chests. Make us feel panic when he's at the bed side.

 

I haven't even finished reading this because its not finished. I read an entire paragraph without seeing a single full stop (period). Just comma after comma. It was tiring to read, trying to work out what was a new sentence and what wasn't. I'd recommend reading the other fine works here and assessing them - see how in City of lies and Justice in flames I take the reader into the characters heads. See how others have used grammar to great effect and how it should be done

 

This needs a good thorough edit befor it can be rated

[epicluca]

Dont worry I have a cleaner final version, reading it now makes me cringe at how bad it was. Don't worry there are commas and full stops and correct grammar this time, I'll edit it sooner or later. Incase you're doubtful it got me one of the highest marks in my class, thanks for the criticism though it helped alot

Edited June 13, 2013 by gtamad8