The Writers' Room

[MacAshford]

Now begins the speculation of LDH, I'm hoping it's Lesbian Demon Hunters jk

 

I hit a small bump in writing my script, I can't choose the perfect opening.

[Mokrie Dela]

Leave the opening. Just write it, and the opening will come with time. There's no such thing as a perfect sentence but the first sentence in a story is tricky. Sometimes you think of a hook then go from there, other times you'd need the whole thing written first to know the character and style of it.

Don't get bogged down in that; move on and write more. When you come to edit it and proof read you might have a better idea.

[MacAshford]

Thanks for the advice, I cut the opening out and just jumped into the arrival scene in full swing. I have a friend from real life that's gonna be editing this for me and suggesting extra sideplots so this may be the best thing I've wrote yet

[Mokrie Dela]

Sometimes have that helps, but don't rely on them; try to learn what they do so you can do it for yourself.

FYI i wasn't saying cut it, just don't focus on it atm

[Vercetti42]

Is it weird if you get inspiration for writing a story from a movie rather than a book? Books just don't interest me anymore, movies on the other hand are very useful and give tons of inspiration and help me write better.

[Mokrie Dela]

Not weird, but i'd try to read more.
If you're getting inspiration from movies - that's fine. You're getting inspiration, full stop. But if you're seeing some modern film and finding that instilling inspiration, you really should go back and look for some older films, and classic books (and indeed modern books). I know that sometimes I'm reading and i feel that tug of modern media corruption - wanting to play the game, or watch the ultra-fit man fight the bad guy, biceps bulging... but if you can give books a chance they can surprise you - when they grab you and pull you in, you can kiss goodnight to sleeping that night

Plus, more curcially, by reading books you're not just reading the story (you can view the story in films and games) but you're seeing the writing - the use of grammar and punctuation, alternative words, layout etc. You simply will never get that from films or games.

If you want to improve your writing, you've got to read. Films and Games might help your stories and concepts, things like story arcs as well, but they will not show you the actual text. Heavy Rain doesn't teach you about paragraphs, ellipsis, or anything.

[Acehilm]

I am writing a speech on King Lear and I have this one sentence that bothers me. I think it needs to be reworded; what do you guys think?

 

 

 

The cruelty prevails the most when Cornwall had accused Gloucester of conspiring to aid an invasion of Britain by France by assisting King Lear to Dover, this being the reason for the human cruelty of Gloucester’s eyes removed and subsequently because his performance of adultery, which interfered with the Elizabethan chain of being.

Edited June 17, 2014 by Coat.

[Ziggy455]

I'm absolutely clinging to dear life as boredom appears to have consumed me. Simple question: Would anybody be up for a miniscule BUYG gang? Quite literally I'm thinking of like two or three people maximum. Preferably old-era GTA?

 

The first thing in my head is "It'll die before it starts." Hence, I want like two other people to play it with who won't actually say "Yeah, cool. I'll join!" And then they proceed to ignore the game for 412424 years until they decide to go "Whatever happened to that game?"

 

I'm literally thinking of ripping out the template of the old BUYVG and just having two people join. Anybody up for it? It'd be very active with me at the helm.

 

This is how bored I am.

[Mokrie Dela]

Personally I think you're best off putting your efforts into writing other things. History has shown us that these things don't last too long. By all means go for it, but tbh i doubt I'll find the time for it, myself.

[MacAshford]

I'd probably pop in and out of a BUYG regularly, I'm trying to get better at that type of stuff by doing RPing as it's close to them sort of games. So possibly sign me up, I'd probably post atleast one short story a week.

[Ziggy455]

Megh. It's something just to do to kill time really. It's kind of hard to get anything written lately.

[MacAshford]

Try doing the A-Z 500 word challenge. You must choose a theme for each letter of the alphabet and write a 500 word short story or poem about it. Like one-shots but A-Z. The challenge has a deadline of a week from the time that you start it

[Acehilm]

So, what do people think of what I have constructed so far:

 

 

 

 

The play King Lear shows how when the social order, which the play represents as the Elizabethan Chain of Being, is disrupted, evil, base human desires are allowed to prosper and will do so until order is restored. In King Lear, through their hubris and misjudgement, Lear and Gloucester disrupt the social order unleashing the base desires of greed and lust in characters like Edmond, Goneril, Oswald, Regan and Cornwall who pursue their self-interest cruelly -subsequently leading them to betray and deceive others in pursuing power and their own ambitions. Although the play pities the form of ambition and self-driven power, it upholds the values of loyalty and altruism through Edgar and Kent who idolise the structure of salvation through moral vision.

 

 

By the absurd act of the kingdoms division instructed by Lear in Act 1, Scene 1, “Which of you shall we say doth love us most…” it evidently proposes the undoing of his own power, his fatal flaw of pride when he retains title as king yet withdraws responsibility and thus disturbs the natural order which cripples the Elizabethan Chain of Being – this being the foothold for malicious upheaval and the cause to provoke the desires of greed in Goneril and Reagan. Edmond, the bastard son of Gloucester, in-fact had caused disruption before the division of Albion when deceiving his father and brother to take hold of Gloucester’s title throughout a devious plot, “If this letter thrive, / And my invention thrive, Edmund the base / shall top the legitimate.” Edmond opposes the natural order and states that his goddess is Mother Nature because of her unpredictable and chaotic ways, “Thou, Nature, art my goddess; to thy law my services are bound. Wherefore should I stand in the plague of custom and permit the curiosity of nations to deprive me?

Edited June 21, 2014 by Lexty.

[Ziggy455]

I'd say what you've written is solid in speech form, but for each point made, an example of each stated note would be helpful. Otherwise, as somebody who doesn't write essays or speeches on Shakespearean texts, I cannot say much.

Edited June 22, 2014 by Ziggy455

[albanyave]

Quick question guys. Is it okay to make up the names of vehicles in fiction or would it be better to stick with models already established by Ford, GMC etc?

[Ziggy455]

If you're creating a large-scale world of your own creation then it's probably best. If not, I'd say it wouldn't be a problem to keep it stuck to the original names but really it's the perspective of the writer as to whether or not you really want the same names.

[albanyave]

Thanks Ziggy. I was thinking that way but wasn't sure if a new car name would confuse the reader. The world that I'm creating isn't very large, but it is kind of odd. Anyway, I'll give it a go and see how everything fits together.

[Mokrie Dela]

Well bare in mind that calling a car a "Arnault" might be an obvious rip off of Renault, but saying a "Jefferson City 500-LX" will mean absolutely squat to the reader. Saying "Lincoln Town Car" will be much more likely to make people see the car in their mind.

Works with GTA because if i say "Stallion" you know what that car is. But if i said "Niko jumped in the Verbachi Zephyr", you'll have no idea what it looks like at all. Personally, I don't see the need to invent car names or models, when you can use existing ones.
However, it could be that if the story's in a different universe (literally or notionally) then "Ford" simply might not exist.

 

If you're writing a book or story, I'd say stick to a pre-existing vehicle, whether it's real-life or from a game (if it's a FF). If it's a concept, say for your own design of a GTA game, then you can create a new car company and upload a drawing of it. If it's a simple traditional prose story, then creating car companies to replace existing ones seems a bit futile - unless the story revolves around a specific car company, like Powell Motors in the Simpsons

You know, Homer's long-lost brother's company, that goes bust

 

[MacAshford]

@Tony, if you see this, I was reading OG N-N last night, will there ever be more?

[Mokrie Dela]

Haha, OG N-N, when i checked it out i was like "wtf is this sh*t" but i seem to remember laughing a bit!

 

In other news, I think Fallout's well and truly dead.

[AceRay]

Yeah it just sucked, for reasons already mentioned.

Better luck next time pal.

[Vercetti42]

Yeah it just sucked, for reasons already mentioned.

Better luck next time pal.

 

Back from the dead, I see.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Vercetti42

[MacAshford]

I'm planning on writing a Fallout fan-fiction with a friend, nothing huge just something for a writing challenge.

 

@Mokrie - I liked your one tbh, do you have any tips or things to consider?

[Mokrie Dela]

Tips? not really to be honest. I wrote it the same way I write everything, same method as COL but for some reason it just didn't work. I appreciate that you liked it, but i feel it got more frowns than smiles, and tbh i think it's better to cut it loose. It's not a definite death; I'm not deleting the thread, I'll leave it open, in case I feel like trying it again.

 

I wish you luck in your own story. I hope that you'll have more luck than I did.

I'm just asking my self the question: what next? Confidence isn't exactly high if i'm honest. f*ck it, maybe I'll do another City of Lies hahaha

[MacAshford]

Thanks for the advice, I feel like it's gonna be a hard job but it'll be slightly possible. Basically, it's set after New Vegas, with NCR controlling NV, a gambler from another city is attacked by a corrupt NCR member and left for dead, an ex-member of the now destroyed Caesars Legion saves him and together they restore Caesars Legion and take control of NV. That's where my friend comes into it, he'll be writing his story in the Capital Wasteland until he ventures to New Vegas where our collaboration begins with us taking turns to write chapters covering the story of our duo attempting to scavenge other states with the help of various factions

 

 

About the city of lies thing, you could do a gtav one called city of saints, because Los Santos is based on Los Angeles which is nicknamed the city of saints

[Mokrie Dela]

I do have a GTA V one in the works but, tbh, it's kinda sh*t...

It's set after V (option C) and, well, sh*t hits the fan. But while the plan I had has potential for epicness, i can't help but feel it's no better than V's story.

I've got a my supersecret original project and an Assassin's Creed on still on my HDD.

 

RE Caesar's Legion: Bare in mind that the legion are huge. My story had them appear, and the battle of hoover dam is mentioned but the winner's not stated. The Legion are rumoured to be without Caesar (which would happen sooner or later, anyway), and the NCR are spread too thin. The Legion actually featured in my story as a bad of exiles from the legion, kicked out for being too merciless.

I may as well also state that my story was going to feature Denver, aka dog city. I'm just going to shut up now, because it's making me sad.

[AceRay]

I feed on your tears Mokrie.

I think the problem with FOfic was that it was a fantasy world distant from ours but how characters acted was more like here on Earth. These kids grew up inside a contained vault of 1000 or so people, yet acted like ordinary teenage archetypes. (although to be fair, that's sort of true for FO3 as well). I mean, Liberty City is technically a fantasy world but its basically just New York, FO is a post apocolyptic world where everything is different. Also, it felt like a video game after she got out of a vault, getting quests and stuff.

Wasn't the original draft of FOfic some sort of lesbian erotica you mentioned? Maybe you should just do that instead.

[Mokrie Dela]

The original draft went that way at times, but that wasn't what I wanted, really. I think much of the problem was routed in the starting point of the story. I didn't want to merely reference past events, but I think i focused too much on the backstories, and by the time the story got going, there was wasn't enough interest/enjoyment from the readers left to keep it going. That and restarting it, which was a mistake.

 

I dunno. I find it a shame, but if it didn't work, it didn't work, i guess.

[Vercetti42]

Speaking of Fallout, I'll be getting fallout: new vegas soon. Can't wait. (Although I should not hype myself since Fallout 3 was a big disappointment to me) but I'm trying my best but it's hard. The idea of hardcore mode, vegas, factions etc is just too awesome.

[Ziggy455]

So how do you guys write up your stories or plan em? Do you spend hours writing backstories and such, trying to understand your characters to the best of your ability or do you just wing it?