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Eminence

The Writers' Room

Recommended Posts

AceRay

Yeah, I got those PMs too, I reported them myself.

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Mokrie Dela

That's exactly what you should do. Don't reply, just report and block the user.

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MacAshford

I'm happy to say my new script is coming along perfectly, the only thing is, it makes most stuff I've ever wrote become uncanon as it is a collage of all the stories rolled into one huge story. I didn't wanna mention it before because everything I wrote on it was cancelled but I had an old account a few years ago on here but I've changed a lot since then so it's past but I am moving a few small sub-plots and maybe characters from that account to this new project. Although I tried to keep it quiet, a few mods and members knew about my old account and a mod locked it for me.

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Mokrie Dela

I'm happy to say my new script is coming along perfectly, the only thing is, it makes most stuff I've ever wrote become uncanon as it is a collage of all the stories rolled into one huge story. I didn't wanna mention it before because everything I wrote on it was cancelled but I had an old account a few years ago on here but I've changed a lot since then so it's past but I am moving a few small sub-plots and maybe characters from that account to this new project. Although I tried to keep it quiet, a few mods and members knew about my old account and a mod locked it for me.

I wouldn't worry about connecting your previous works together. In fact if you try to do so too hard, you'll run the risk of alienating those that hadn't read them or can't remember them. Like Fan Fiction, there's a degree of assumption that the reader is familiar with previous works, and i think it's a fine line you have to walk.

Subtlety i think will be your friend, as with many things. Don't throw the connections into your readers face, and don't have too much rely on them.

Take City of Lies, for example - the big twist at the end will not have much effect on anyone not familiar with the GTA IV story. Sure, all is explained, but the power and emotion behind it is reliant on GTA IV. I love that twist, but looking back, if you don't remember the thing it's referencing back, then it'll be lost on you.

 

That said, i think it's kind of clever to tie your previous works together. I remember seeing a trailer for Fast and Furious 600 and there were two bits that made me go "ooh"

1 - was an epic line of dialogue from Diesel: "You don't turn your back on your family... even when they do."

and 2 - was the conecept that "all roads lead to this" that all previous films were sort of introductions to a huge finale. Almost like if there was a GTA after San An where CJ, Tommy, and Claude teamed together to fight a big enemy... Bored by the film franchise, but that concept made me think, and if it's done right....

 

Good so hear the enthusiasm though!

 

 

Talking of enthusiasm: New chapter of Fallout is up. I find myself editing and re-editing the crap out of it, and if i didn't upload it, it'd be overly edited and uncharacteristic!

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MacAshford

Haha thanks for all the advice, mate. I started using the subtlety thing and it's really helping. Thanks :)

 

I read the new chapter of fallout, dude it's amazing :D

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The Leviathan

I've been pretty fascinated with L. Ron Hubbard lately. I haven't actually read any of his books, yet, but more so about the kind of person he was. I mean, the guy is a science fiction writer, and he one day decides to start a religion. And he does, because he is a master of fiction. The only concept of Scientology that really interests me is the fact that it's a big scam. Not only do I think it is hilarious, but also inspiring that a writer left such a legacy.

 

 

Edited by The Leviathan

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MacAshford

I don't think scientology is such a scam but I get what you mean about the fact that his influence on fiction is probably the only reason that scientology took off like it did. :)

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The Leviathan

Come on, man. Scientology is the very essence of scam. Alot more than the rest of the religions out there, mind you.

 

 

 

#KIFFLOM

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MacAshford

Haha I dunno, I guess it's not what I thought it was :)

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Mokrie Dela

I've restarted my Fallout story. Rewrote the prologue, because with the feedback, i was not happy with it. I think it's much better now.

I decided it'd be cleaner to simply lock and hide the old topic and start from fresh.

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Eminence

I'd prefer it if we didn't hide topics. You shouldn't just discard all of the replies it garnered because you want to start afresh; multiple people have read and commented on it, and those words should remain.

 

As for locking and starting again, well, that's okay I guess. But it's unnecessary, too. To be honest it points to a more deeply-rooted problem. You shouldn't be looking to reboot something so early in its development!

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Mokrie Dela

Fair point Em. I'm not rebooting it though - I really wanted to build on the points you mentioned and others. I'd read it through, and the other replies, and just thought "i can do better." You know?

Unhide it, but i think I'll go forward with the new one. It was the cleanest, easiest way of doing it i feel.

 

 

It's not rebooting it, it's simply editing what was there - the future chapters aren't scrapped, but as they're not yet uploaded, I can edit them. Having the "old" prologue up, then uploading the new one, in the same topic, would likely get messy and confusing - essentially posting the same chapter twice. I'm happier with it now, and tbh it was as much a thing for me - having that edited chapter up, addressing (i hope!) the points raised, puts my mind in a place where I hope i can write better. Leaving the old one up and continuing, knowing i'm not happy with it, i feel was like building a house on sand.

 

You guys are pretty much the only reliable feedback I can get. I had read it to a friend, but he's not a writer, and can't offer the same level of advice.

 

In hindsight, I shouldn't have hidden it - there's much that could be learned from leaving it visible. I learned a few things, tbh, and hope to implement them better in future

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Ziggy455

Just cleared Elmore Leonard's Get Shorty and I have to say, as a work of fiction, I loved it. I love writing screenplays and reading a book about the criminal satire of Hollywood was just such a cool thing. I loved the cool, suave Chili Palmer and the way you can see through his constant interactions that he's out of his own pool, but no sooner do we get into the shylocks and dirty of Hollywood that we see that Chili's relatable mob-tactics are still sharp and intact out here.

 

I liked everything about the book. The characters seemed real, the story moved brilliantly. The only gripe I'd have about it as a story is the end.

We get to a scene where Chili calls Michael Weir short for the part of the shylock. Harry Zimm, the quirky, mopey, phoney producer of Mr Lovejoy is shocked at this. So Bo is dead, everything's smooth and they leave the meeting with Michael and they get into the limo and Chili questions why endings are so hard to write and boom! The book's over.

 

 

I'd have loved to have seen the buildup of the movie a little, and see Chili in the hotseat. I watched the movie an hour after reading --something I do for books with movies-- and the film's ending gives things a little more justice.

 

On another note, I've been offered a placement at the Central Film School of London for screenwriting. Considering I took a gap year for uni, I'm stuck in a rut of which course I want to go for.

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Osric

I don't know why, but I feel like writing something about hunting. Might post a one-shot soon.

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Mokrie Dela

Just cleared Elmore Leonard's Get Shorty and I have to say, as a work of fiction, I loved it. I love writing screenplays and reading a book about the criminal satire of Hollywood was just such a cool thing. I loved the cool, suave Chili Palmer and the way you can see through his constant interactions that he's out of his own pool, but no sooner do we get into the shylocks and dirty of Hollywood that we see that Chili's relatable mob-tactics are still sharp and intact out here.

 

I liked everything about the book. The characters seemed real, the story moved brilliantly. The only gripe I'd have about it as a story is the end.

We get to a scene where Chili calls Michael Weir short for the part of the shylock. Harry Zimm, the quirky, mopey, phoney producer of Mr Lovejoy is shocked at this. So Bo is dead, everything's smooth and they leave the meeting with Michael and they get into the limo and Chili questions why endings are so hard to write and boom! The book's over.

 

 

I'd have loved to have seen the buildup of the movie a little, and see Chili in the hotseat. I watched the movie an hour after reading --something I do for books with movies-- and the film's ending gives things a little more justice.

 

On another note, I've been offered a placement at the Central Film School of London for screenwriting. Considering I took a gap year for uni, I'm stuck in a rut of which course I want to go for.

Be glad you can. I'm looking at a course, to open up career options, but it requires fees that I can not afford. I am past the typical education age too. Adult education... It sucks.

 

I saw the film Get shorty, and tbh i did not enjoy it at all. Not read the book yet - perhaps doing so would make me enjoy the film more, or just enjoy the book...

I don't know why, but I feel like writing something about hunting. Might post a one-shot soon.

Sounds interesting. Something different, i suppose, and I'd definitely check it out

Edited by Mokrie Dela

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Osric

I posted the first chapter of my new story, Tactical Sport Hunting. It's going to start out as a rural slice-of-life story about a wannabe survivalist, but will develop into something different. The beauty of nature will play a role in the later chapters of the story.

 

Does anybody have any tips on writing a female protagonist? The main character of Tactical Sport Hunting is female, although to ease things up, I made her a bit of a tomboy and there's a reason why she's into the outdoors and hunting (She feels insecure and wants to prove she's her own person and that she can be strong despite being a girl).

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arch stanton

I posted the first chapter of my new story, Tactical Sport Hunting. It's going to start out as a rural slice-of-life story about a wannabe survivalist, but will develop into something different. The beauty of nature will play a role in the later chapters of the story.

 

Does anybody have any tips on writing a female protagonist? The main character of Tactical Sport Hunting is female, although to ease things up, I made her a bit of a tomboy and there's a reason why she's into the outdoors and hunting (She feels insecure and wants to prove she's her own person and that she can be strong despite being a girl).

 

I've read it, and I think you are on the money for writing about a female tomboy. The whole red-hair, CCR shirt and stuff actually made me think you were a female - no offense. You really made me envision the character.

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Mokrie Dela

I'll check it out.

Writing as a female isn't THAT different to a male - it all comes down to character. If your character's developed, gender won't be an issue.

I'm writing as a female protagonist, and a male one. I think the thing to watch out for is misconceptions, cliches and stereotypes. A tomboy character would be interesting - perhaps look at some films, or video games with tomboy type characters for inspiration (or books: if anyone has any suggestions....)

 

If coat's read it and says you've got it down, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Red hair? Oh no, have you stolen my character??

 

I'm joking of course!

 

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Osric

I've figured out the whole angle of Tactical Sport Hunting, it's basically a deconstruction of the whole "back to nature" story archetype. Due to the huntress's insecurities. she decides to run off to a trailer in the woods and live as an amateur survivalist, and slowly goes insane and paranoid from self-imposed isolation. You already kind of see it in the opening chapter, which I need to revise.

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Tyler

Redhead clad in gym shorts and harping on about how "I may be a girl, but I can kick ass, I don't care what my useless father or those stuck-up bitches in high school thought."? Definitely not making it seem like this is your first time writing about women, Osric. :p

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Osric

Funny you should ask, it kind of is. Although if it helps, this character was based on somebody I knew in real life.

 

I don't write that much, but eh, I need to improve.

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Mokrie Dela

Funny you should ask, it kind of is. Although if it helps, this character was based on somebody I knew in real life.

I think in some way, all characters are. My fallout fic, the characters are drawn from events, people and personal experiences of my own life.

 

 

 

Due to the huntress's insecurities. she decides to run off to a trailer in the woods and live as an amateur survivalist, and slowly goes insane and paranoid from self-imposed isolation. You already kind of see it in the opening chapter, which I need to revise.

I'll be honest, I got very little of that. There was one bit i thought has she had a bad time? But for the most part i did not get this feeling. I think you need to sit and think about the message you want to show - the above description really has got me interested. It sounds VERY interesting. But you'll need to really implement it well into the narration.

 

Think about when your story starts - is she already insane? has she just moved to the country? in between?

 

I like the thought of starting it with her seeming strong and confident, and able, then as the chapters continue, we slowly see her mental state degrade - but make sure you've done some research into that - talk to people with issues, visit your local mental health centre etc.

 

My interest is there, but i didn't feel what you described in the posted chapter.

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Omnia sunt Communia

:ph34r: I recognise quite a few people here, which is quite nice. Glad to see a lot of you are still hanging around! I haven't been on this website in what feels like a lifetime but I recently got my hands on GTA V after not having a console for over three years, so thought I'd show my face on here again.

 

Hi to all those who remember me!

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Vercetti42

You probably don't know me but I registered back in July 2012 under the name 'Master of San Andreas'. I created a new account in May 2013. I am the youngest writer here (13 years old). I think I do vaguely remember seeing you post in some of the old topics here. Anyways nice to see an old member returning. Welcome back. :)

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Mokrie Dela

I wonder who the oldest is...

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Ziggy455

Hey Jacky!

 

Last time we spoke, I couldn't get a coherent sentence out on paper. It was years ago, man. Crazy.

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Mokrie Dela

Gar, i keep editing and reediting the same couple of chapters, and not much is changed. I don't know if i'm being a perfectionist, or pessimistic, or simply whether there's something missing. I'm probably just going to upload it and brace myself...

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arch stanton

There is nothing wrong with being a perfectionist, Morkie. Some of the very best artists were/are perfectionists.

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Mokrie Dela

Indeed, Coat. The thing is it is possible to edit something to death. I know I go on about the importance of proof reading and editing, but it's easy to get stuck in an endless cycle - technically speaking, it never will be good enough. Take the re-done chapter of Fallout - I (i hope) addressed the issues pointed out, but i'm sure there are new ones. I redo it again, addressing them, and more will arise.

Being a perfectionist is a good thing, yes, but being a realist is too.

I'm also a pessimist, which doesn't help. I'm editing and editing, reading and re-reading it, but in the back of my mind i can feel that it lacks something - and i ask myself: "Am i reaching for the unreachable, and should just let go and upload it, or am i polishing a turd?"

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Omnia sunt Communia

Does BUYG still exist in any format on here? I had a quick look in the GTA V and GTA IV forums and couldn't see anything that resembled the old BUYG threads. Did it die a heroes death or just fade away? I use to love those threads.

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