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Rockstar GTAV Newswire Simulator


saintsrow
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The other thread R* have no fear of competitors! inspired me to think that what we need is a Rockstar GTAV Newswire Simulator, where we can imagine what Rockstar really wants to say in response to some of the fan posts they get.

 

Here's a start:

 

 

Fan: 

No offense but I think it was a terrible idea to delay this game to September, since Next gen is already going to be released a couple of months later along with BF4 and Watchdogs and Call of Duty.  This game is going to die in like a month. 

 

 

R* response: 

We'll see who dies first -- you or the game.  Don't bet against the game. 

 

So the idea here is that you can quote an actual fan Newswire post, or make up your own fictitious post, and then show what Rockstar -really- wants to tell the guy colgate.gif

 

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Mr.Mordecai

When r we gnna gt moar inf0z?

 

 

Whenever we f*cking feel like it.

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Fan: How big is the map?

 

 

R*: As big as my dick.

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Rockstar, Dont be a Bully, you didn't release any info in a while.

 

 

Bully? That sh*ts long gone.

 

 

 

(STALLING LIKE A BOSS)

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S1LV3R_W0LF

IamIDIOT: Please Rockstar, release new info soon we're dieing here, people keep creating stupid threads and hallucinating over nothing. sad.gif

 

R*:Why the hell do I care? Seriously I'm in vacation now, go play some Bioshock because T2 invested 200 millions in it, shut up and keep eating your realistic steak till the summer ends.

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m4st3r1ngth3b3t4: when are you going to give us more info on gta v rockstar?

 

R*: When you stop touching yourself at night.

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Capricornus

Dumb Fan: Hey R*, Love u guyz! Will CJ be returning in GTA V?

 

R*: "Does the pope sh*t in the woods and wipe his ass with celery sticks? Piss of."

 

caprisig.jpg

 

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Lelouch The Zero

TheFloridaGuy: Did you delay the game to make the Steak more Realistic?

 

R*: No, we delayed the game to take out all the Realistic Steak, and replace them with Realistic Dicks instead.

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Intelligent Consumer : Why don't you release a 10 second video of Trevor sitting in the mountains roasting marshmallows over a campfire? It would drive tons of traffic to your website and boost fan frenzy.

 

Rockstar : There is an opening in the marketing department, when can you start?

 

This is what they SHOULD say.

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SlappyPwnsAss

FAN: R*, why did you delay GTA 5? And why no new info?

R*: 1. It doesnt matter, you'll end up buying it eitherway

2. F**k off. We wanna sit on our asses

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S1LV3R_W0LF

In case you didn't notice no one is actually doing what the thread was about, we're just having some fun trolling on Rockstar and not licking their boots. lol.gif

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When will we get more info R*? It's been so long and you shattered our hopes for the delay. This marketing sucks. mad.gif

R* Q: We will release the info, whenever the f*ck we feel like it. Piss off, nobody at our team cares what you think.

Cheers! smile.gif

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Lelouch The Zero

GTAFanboy: Will you put a parody of Zee in the game?

 

R*: Who is that, your mother?

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Sneakerhead.
Fan: How big is the map?

 

 

R*: As big as my dick.

Fan: GTA V confirmed for having one of gamings tiniest maps.

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So R* I'm so excited, how big is the map? biggrin.gif

R*A: We aren't allowed to say much, however it is probably nearly as big as your dick... which isn't that big.

Cheers! smile.gif

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Fan: GTA V confirmed for having one of gamings tiniest maps.

Los Santos has 1 streetlight and no mickey d's.

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Dumbass128: r* plz giv us mor inf0 on u.. gta v i thnk thts th nam of de GAYme, we ned MOAR

 

R*K: We will release some info when you learn to f*cking spell, you dumbass. Cheers!

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DatGuy: Hey R*, what do you guys think of SRIV being released a month before GTA V?

 

R*: We think that another franchise will die this year.

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user posted image

Is that real? If so, then...LOL!

No, it's not real. I wish it was confused.gif lol

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Asian_Ninja1

SoCalledHardcoreGTAFAn: y thi f*ck you deley gme. U stuip fuks.

 

Rockstar: We delayed the game because there are too many stupid people in the world to even spell right. Cheers!

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user posted image

lol.gificon14.gif Good one.

biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif Big LOLs. Now this is what I'm talkin' about biggrin.gif

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Asian_Ninja1
user posted image

lol.gificon14.gif Good one.

biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif Big LOLs. Now this is what I'm talkin' about biggrin.gif

Nice photoshopping skills. This made me LOL.

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