A Question by Johm

[H.I.M.]

This is my first poem here. So if I do have made ay mistake tell me.

 

I came to the city

With the people almighty

 

It was Christmas time

But all I had was a dime

 

They saw me on the street

And they took me in

 

They showed me their palace

And showed me their jewel, Baby

 

Baby was kind to me

And I was to him

 

Together we would talk & play

Together we would study all day

 

"Jack & Jill" we sang together

"Puss in Boots" we read together

 

Together we passed second grade

Together we passed third grade

 

But one ting bothers me forever

I think I will find the answer never

 

Baby who was in third grade

Goes to school for the fourth

 

But when will I, who passed third grade

Go back to school for my fourth?

 

-H.I.M.

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The poem "A Question by Jimmy" by H.I.M. is a poem about a poor boy who comes to the city to find a job for his game of survival. He begins working as a servant for a rich family who have a son of their own known to John as "Baby. Both of them attend to school and both of them study their lessons well. Both of them pass their primary exams well but John has to halt his education due to discrimination of social class. Here we see a poor child who is clever and loves to study being employed as a servant for a rich family to earn money and faces unfairness in his life since he's deprived of his education. " Baby" who is from a high social class is well accepted in the society but Johns's class is neglected . Here we see total discrimination of high class and the low class.

 

But however we see that these sort of classes or status doesn't exist in the little world of little children who are pure of heart. We see how John and "baby" studies together, goes to school together, plays together but in the end poverty makes his move making John hopeless....

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This is my first poem here in this site and I hope it sounds good. I'm pretty sure I made some mistakes so please point them out.

 

[Mokrie Dela]

not bad. One thing that gets me though is how it's such a wooden rhyming pattern - each couplet is on it's own and doesn't feel attached to the rest of the poem, like a list of lines. It feels like you're trying TOO hard to rhyme, and done so my writing two lines, then another two, and it just doesn't feel connected.

[H.I.M.]

Yeah I did try a lot to rhyme..I will edit it out and lose the stress.

 

Thanks for the reply!