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Weirdest thing you've put your dick in


orbitalraindrops
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^ I just thought of a funny game two gay fellas could play with those.

I don't think they'd play it willingly, it'd be more like something out of a SAW film where they're trapped in it.

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^ I just thought of a funny game two gay fellas could play with those.

I don't think they'd play it willingly, it'd be more like something out of a SAW film where they're trapped in it.

True. But they would live their lives together forever. So I suppose it would be ok. Expect that they can't have intercourse together.

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^ I just thought of a funny game two gay fellas could play with those.

I don't think they'd play it willingly, it'd be more like something out of a SAW film where they're trapped in it.

True. But they would live their lives together forever. So I suppose it would be ok. Expect that they can't have intercourse together.

Unless they like...pull the two sides together.

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So no one has ever tried to push it in a toilet paper roll to measure the thickness? No one? ok.

yeah but it didn't quite fit, so we wouldn't say we've put it 'in' it tounge.gif

just thought of another one:

condom. that sh*t just didn't sit right tounge.gif

When I was 14 and it didnt fit I thought I was packing...well at the time.

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^ I just thought of a funny game two gay fellas could play with those.

I don't think they'd play it willingly, it'd be more like something out of a SAW film where they're trapped in it.

True. But they would live their lives together forever. So I suppose it would be ok. Expect that they can't have intercourse together.

Unless they like...pull the two sides together.

lol, mental image will not leave my mind.

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Probably the inside of my pillow..

Alright, that's now 2 Pillowbusters. Dafuq is the fascination with a pillow?

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Just like the others, A hole in my pillow

Another thing, holes rarely just form on pillows.....did you cut one for the sake of dicking it? mad.gif

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I can't believe I'm reading this. It reminds me of the time I had a long talk with random guys I met on the internet about masturbation over Teamspeak. Well, I guess this is what this is....Anyway, I haven't done anything weird. Just my hand and a vagina, I'm a very plain man.

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Algonquin Assassin

Peanut butter, jelly sandwich..

 

 

 

Edited by Miamivicecity

GTA IV Signature V4 by Lettermaniac on DeviantArt

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My high school sweetheart, Katie Vick.

I thought she'd be dynamite in the sack, but she just lay there, motionless. Her expression didn't change much either. Honestly, halfway through I started wondering if she was even human at all or if she was just wearing human skin and was filled with sawdust and embalming fluids or something.

hahhahaaa...

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Jimmy_Leppard

Someone already said this is the weirdest topic on GTF - I second that.

 

I mean, why would you.. What would.. Just why would you put your f*cking tool anywhere other than in a pussy? (Fapping excluded) I never understood that. What would make you believe putting your tool inside of a beer, guitar, tennis shoe, jelly sandwich or in a hole in your pillow feels good? Don't get me wrong, this thread made me laugh so hard I won't be able to use my facial muscles properly for a while, but some (if not all) of you are really weird.

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user posted image

 

 

ZDL4nai.gif

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orbitalraindrops
This topic can't be serious...

I don't joke when it comes to my tiny penis.

My tiny disfigured penis.

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My high school sweetheart, Katie Vick.

I thought she'd be dynamite in the sack, but she just lay there, motionless. Her expression didn't change much either. Honestly, halfway through I started wondering if she was even human at all or if she was just wearing human skin and was filled with sawdust and embalming fluids or something.

I knew there was an explanation. There always is.

 

Just to stick to topic, Jelo on one occasion. It did not work the way I imagined it.

 

 

So no one has ever tried to push it in a toilet paper roll to measure the thickness? No one? ok.

Just the tube from the roll. I didn't want to waste a good roll on that. I was somewhat surprised when it did not fit.

Edited by K^2

Prior to filing a bug against any of my code, please consider this response to common concerns.

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orbitalraindrops
@GTA-King I prefer bratz dolls myself but hey each to their own

I always thought that would be weird because Bratz dolls are kids. But Barbie is a grown woman, so in my mind, it would be considered legal to put my dick in her (like, up her tight skirt).

I read a story by AM Holmes about a guy who rapes his sisters barbie. Its on the internet. Its a good short read look it up.

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A Car exhaust.

I went on the internet, and I found this:

user posted image

L71cGcK.png

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Johnny... La genta esta muy loca!! notify.gif

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I was going through a dry spell once when I was younger. It had been like 6 months since I had any. My dick was drier than a box of Quaker oats. So, I go to this party and the only thing left was this big ol' fat girl, and I mean fat, not phat, but FAT! But she was purdy in the face though, and had mountainous titays. I never been with a fat girl before that, nor since.

 

Me and her left the main part of the party and I took her into the basement(smirk). I noticed a nail on the rafter above and hung my truck keys on it. I then began the adventurous climb of that mountain and stuck my flag in it! She was soo tight that I didn't have any skin left on my pecker--it was raw like I threw it in a meat grinder or threw it out the window doing 90mph giving it road-rash. This bi**h was in love.

 

Shortly after, she fell asleep, snoring like a lumberjack, and I climbed up those creaky-ass stairs, trying my best not to awaken it...uh, I mean, her. As I made my way outta the basement, there were dozens upon dozens of people sleeping on the floor. I was stepping between them like a ninja, playing a flexy game of Twister, quietly, trying not to wake anyone so that I could make my escape. As I got to the door of my truck, I realised that my keys were still hanging on that nail on the rafter.

 

I made my way back in, stepped on a few people as they let out screams. I made my way down those creaky-assed stairs to grab my keys.....but it was awake. It grabbed me and jerked me on top of it, jerking my weiner outta my pants and jamming it back into the meat grinder. UUUGH! I was screaming and moaning(so was she), but mine was from sheer high level pain. It was like pouring alcohol on a raw cut. There wasn't anything pleasurable about it to me. I was in agony!! I had to try and perform a 'quicky'.

 

And to make things worse, it was in the broad daylight! Light was spraying all over us, coming in a window from above. I was asking myself what I was thinking the night before!! Cellulite was flapping off the walls with a loud slapping sound and moans coming from underneath me. Finally, it ended. I put my mangled pecker back in my pocket and left. People were glaring at me as I made my way to the door. I looked like I had been thrown off a train and dragged behind for miles. As I got to my truck.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I forgot my damn keys on that nail on the rafter again---I SH*T YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I just stood there with a bewildered look on my face. What is happening, I asked. Am I being punished for something, is this karma?? That painful memory has been ingrained into my soul. Now when I pass a fat girl on the street, my weiner burns and I recall that crazy summer night. ~FIN

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I was going through a dry spell once when I was younger. It had been like 6 months since I had any. My dick was drier than a box of Quaker oats. So, I go to this party and the only thing left was this big ol' fat girl, and I mean fat, not phat, but FAT! But she was purdy in the face though, and had mountainous titays. I never been with a fat girl before that, nor since.

 

Me and her left the main part of the party and I took her into the basement(smirk). I noticed a nail on the rafter above and hung my truck keys on it. I then began the adventurous climb of that mountain and stuck my flag in it! She was soo tight that I didn't have any skin left on my pecker--it was raw like I threw it in a meat grinder or threw it out the window doing 90mph giving it road-rash. This bi**h was in love.

 

Shortly after, she fell asleep, snoring like a lumberjack, and I climbed up those creaky-ass stairs, trying my best not to awaken it...uh, I mean, her. As I made my way outta the basement, there were dozens upon dozens of people sleeping on the floor. I was stepping between them like a ninja, playing a flexy game of Twister, quietly, trying not to wake anyone so that I could make my escape. As I got to the door of my truck, I realised that my keys were still hanging on that nail on the rafter.

 

I made my way back in, stepped on a few people as they let out screams. I made my way down those creaky-assed stairs to grab my keys.....but it was awake. It grabbed me and jerked me on top of it, jerking my weiner outta my pants and jamming it back into the meat grinder. UUUGH! I was screaming and moaning(so was she), but mine was from sheer high level pain. It was like pouring alcohol on a raw cut. There wasn't anything pleasurable about it to me. I was in agony!! I had to try and perform a 'quicky'.

 

And to make things worse, it was in the broad daylight! Light was spraying all over us, coming in a window from above. I was asking myself what I was thinking the night before!! Cellulite was flapping off the walls with a loud slapping sound and moans coming from underneath me. Finally, it ended. I put my mangled pecker back in my pocket and left. People were glaring at me as I made my way to the door. I looked like I had been thrown off a train and dragged behind for miles. As I got to my truck.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I forgot my damn keys on that nail on the rafter again---I SH*T YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I just stood there with a bewildered look on my face. What is happening, I asked. Am I being punished for something, is this karma?? That painful memory has been ingrained into my soul. Now when I pass a fat girl on the street, my weiner burns and I recall that crazy summer night. ~FIN

This was an awesome read. But I'd like to know more.

 

What happened when you went back in? Did you even go back in at all? XD

 

Did anyone else know what happened?

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Turns out there never was a fat girl, he'd just been boning his truck the whole time.

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I was going through a dry spell once when I was younger. It had been like 6 months since I had any. My dick was drier than a box of Quaker oats. So, I go to this party and the only thing left was this big ol' fat girl, and I mean fat, not phat, but FAT! But she was purdy in the face though, and had mountainous titays. I never been with a fat girl before that, nor since.

 

Me and her left the main part of the party and I took her into the basement(smirk). I noticed a nail on the rafter above and hung my truck keys on it. I then began the adventurous climb of that mountain and stuck my flag in it! She was soo tight that I didn't have any skin left on my pecker--it was raw like I threw it in a meat grinder or threw it out the window doing 90mph giving it road-rash. This bi**h was in love.

 

Shortly after, she fell asleep, snoring like a lumberjack, and I climbed up those creaky-ass stairs, trying my best not to awaken it...uh, I mean, her. As I made my way outta the basement, there were dozens upon dozens of people sleeping on the floor. I was stepping between them like a ninja, playing a flexy game of Twister, quietly, trying not to wake anyone so that I could make my escape. As I got to the door of my truck, I realised that my keys were still hanging on that nail on the rafter.

 

I made my way back in, stepped on a few people as they let out screams. I made my way down those creaky-assed stairs to grab my keys.....but it was awake. It grabbed me and jerked me on top of it, jerking my weiner outta my pants and jamming it back into the meat grinder. UUUGH! I was screaming and moaning(so was she), but mine was from sheer high level pain. It was like pouring alcohol on a raw cut. There wasn't anything pleasurable about it to me. I was in agony!! I had to try and perform a 'quicky'.

 

And to make things worse, it was in the broad daylight! Light was spraying all over us, coming in a window from above. I was asking myself what I was thinking the night before!! Cellulite was flapping off the walls with a loud slapping sound and moans coming from underneath me. Finally, it ended. I put my mangled pecker back in my pocket and left. People were glaring at me as I made my way to the door. I looked like I had been thrown off a train and dragged behind for miles. As I got to my truck.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I forgot my damn keys on that nail on the rafter again---I SH*T YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I just stood there with a bewildered look on my face. What is happening, I asked. Am I being punished for something, is this karma?? That painful memory has been ingrained into my soul. Now when I pass a fat girl on the street, my weiner burns and I recall that crazy summer night. ~FIN

This was an awesome read. But I'd like to know more.

 

What happened when you went back in? Did you even go back in at all? XD

 

Did anyone else know what happened?

Yeah, I had to go back in and get my keys. I forgot'em twice.

 

Everybody knew about what happened. I was a popular guitarist in a few bands at the time, so yeah, word spread quickly. Of course, I denied, denied, denied it until this day, but the damage had been done. Some of my friends still mention it from time to time at cookouts or whatever. I've not seen her since. The stupid things I done when I was younger. lol.gif

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So no one has ever tried to push it in a toilet paper roll to measure the thickness? No one? ok.

Just the tube from the roll. I didn't want to waste a good roll on that. I was somewhat surprised when it did not fit.

When I was younger I wanted to measure the force of my erect penis by trying to push it through layers of toilet paper.

 

I can't remember my record, but must've been atleast five layers.

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LazlowsucksiloveslutS

Finally! A topic for real GTA fans!

 

I put my cock between a Soviet-era radiator several times. It is an awesome feeling.

 

 

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