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Denise Robinson

The Untouchables.

Recommended Posts

Denise Robinson

Removed.

Edited by Denise Robinson

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king gaines

I really think everyone should read this story. I enjoyed every bit of it. I love how clear this story is and every time I read it I can visualize the action in my head. This story is very much detailed! I can't wait to read more if you have more to offer. I encourage everyone to read this story. Ms. Robinson please continue on your story writing quest. I hope everyone will enjoy it like I did colgate.gifcolgate.gifbiggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

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AceRay

Fix the grammar by cutting down on the horrendous walls of text please with proper line breaks for each new speaker, then I might read your story. As it is, its an eyesore, it truly is. Once you do that, I'll see what its like.

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king gaines

How is this an eye sore? I didn't have a problem reading it. It's fun and exciting. Just take your time and read it. I'm sure you'll love it! biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

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Denise Robinson
Fix the grammar by cutting down on the horrendous walls of text please with proper line breaks for each new speaker, then I might read your story. As it is, its an eyesore, it truly is. Once you do that, I'll see what its like.

I fixed it hopefully it is no longer an eyesore for you. smile.gif

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Mokrie Dela
How is this an eye sore? I didn't have a problem reading it. It's fun and exciting. Just take your time and read it. I'm sure you'll love it! biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

Formatting is very important with written works.

 

Imagine someone makes a film, but has vaseline all over the lens and the mic is broken so you can't see anything apart from a blur and there's no sound. It doesn't matter how good the film is if the audience can't see it.

 

Same here - the human eye works in a specific way and a "wall of text" is notoriously difficult to read.

 

It's good to see D.R taking the suggestion and acting on it - people here know what they're talking about.

 

I however, am alright with prose, but screenplays and scripts, i haven't got the faintest idea over, so I can not critique it fairly.

 

It seems ok to me - but screenplays/scripts are not my thing at all, so again, not much i can say

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