Ever cheated on your GF?

[shadyslady]

Have you ever cheated on your partner or do you happily live in a monogamous relationship? Or does your GF even endure polygamy?

Do you think it's ok to visit f.e. a prostitute as long as you're not married?

 

 

As for me...I did. Never told her, even though we already broke up. I don't feel the need to tell her. It wouldn't have done anything good to our relationship back in the day, anyway.

We broke up for different reasons. And even now, I wouldn't want to tell her. The woman I cheated with meant nothing to me. Vice versa, too.

 

A friend of mine is in a happy relationship. He is pretty much a womanizer. Not like every woman would want him, but he still gets quite some offers.

He f.e. also doesn't tell his GF he regularly visits a brothel.

 

I asked him, why he would go through the trouble of visiting prostitues, when he gets offers by "random" women. He says, with a prostitute it's strictly business. He lives out sexual fantasies he can't with his GF, and he pays the prostitute and it's done. She wont come after him and cause him any trouble. No feelings involved, no angry women fighting, no drama.

[ryuclan]

Never cheated on anyone I was with although one of my exes would tell you I did. Anyway here's the story.

 

I was with this girl who I really liked, but the only issue was that she was extremely untrusting. It was ridiculous, it got so bad that I couldn't stand it anymore and wanted to be done with her. So since she always thought I was cheating I told her I cheated on her (which I didn't...at all, just so she would break up with me. She was so f*cking smug when I told her too. Like it was Sssooo obvious. Anyway she got what she wantdd., at least she thinks she did.

 

This isn't cheating at all. Me and my current girlfriend broke up about two years ago. She broke up with me and did so by completely ignoring me and removing me from every website we were friends on, not answering my calls. So my head is all f*cked up and a year after she breaks up with me I finally get back in the game. I meet this girl online, I just need to f*ck something, she tells me to come over and within two days of talking to her on Facebook I'm f*cking her and spending the night at her house. Still can't believe she let me stay there while she was at work. Anyway me and her started dating a little and then she took me to this place my then ex use to always go. f*ck, I start thinking about her again and bam! I Dont want to be with this girl, I want my woman back dammit. So I finally get in contact with her and we talk things over. Two years later we're engaged. She was pissed that I was f*cking this other girl while we were broken up. But honest my how selfish is that? I waited as long as I could and I did not cheat whatsoever. No regrets. And I told her you should thank her because if it wasn't for her there is no way I would have started thinks ng about my fiancée.

Edited January 18, 2013 by ryuclan

[TonyZimmzy]

Kind of. A few years ago I met two girls at the same time and ended up chopping and changing which one to be with over n over. Decisions, man. Decisions. After about six months of this, I picked one, and we were together for a good two years. She forgave me... Kinda. Never really let it go.

[Finn 7 five 11]

Never cheated, I have hooked up with girls while dating, but at parties while drunk, who cares?

 

Just tell her it wasn't you.

Relevant song haha, a classic no doubt.

 

 

 

EDIT: Just realized that song is 12 years old now, god damn, feels like yesterday I was watching the clip on video hits.

Edited January 18, 2013 by finn4life

[shadyslady]

@ ryuclan: what about the woman you dated for a while?

[Ziggy455]

I've never cheated on any girl I've been with. I was with a very typical, crazy, obssessive, fat, bird for three years and she hated me being near any girls. The thought of cheating never crossed my mind. Those closest thing I'd say to cheating I ever hit was when a creepy stalker girl on my course tried to keep getting with me. I tried to be a friend and she wouldn't let up.

 

We had a brief three second moment which was more her than it was me, after that I went with a girl I'd been in love with for nine years. The creepy stalker girl did not let up. Even though I was with neither girls, I guess that's as close as I've ever gotten.

[orbitalraindrops]

Never had a girlfriend but sometimes I masturbate with my right hand instead of my left. Feels like Im cheating on my left.

[ryuclan]

@ ryuclan: what about the woman you dated for a while?

Me and her were together for exactly two weeks and I broke up with her. I told her I wanted to try again with my old lady. She got pissed tried to talk me out of it. Ultimately she said if things ever go wrong I could fall back on her. Lol I once asked her "Can you at least act like you want me and her to be happy." She said "Nope."

 

 

I gotta say though I did enjoy being with her. She was like me. She was into cars, video games and racing, but I felt she'd make a better friend than girlfriend on account of how promiscuous she was. Also we had sex at least six times and not one time did I finish or even come close.

[Saggy]

No, couldn't even think about it without feeling bad. I remember we split up for a little bit and I was trying to find some chicks to f*ck, but just looking made me feel like crap.

[EscoLehGo]

Never had a girlfriend but sometimes I masturbate with my right hand instead of my left. Feels like Im cheating on my left.

I have a similar situation, I got a new laptop for Christmas but a lot of my good porn is still on my old one so sometimes I'll cheat on my new laptop with my old one and she gets soooooo pissed. I do it right in front of her too, sometimes I'll actually but the old one right on top of her and just go to town on myself, I feel bad but until I can build up a substantial collection of porn on my new laptop this is how it will have to be.

[ryuclan]

No, couldn't even think about it without feeling bad. I remember we split up for a little bit and I was trying to find some chicks to f*ck, but just looking made me feel like crap.

Exactly. That's why it took me n entire year to even start trying to date again.

[DEALUX]

I didn't really ever have the chance to do something like that. I only had one thing with a girl that could remotely be called a relationship and it didn't last, there was barely any action going on. If I had the chance I would have most likely done it under the right circumstances as I didn't really have any principles back then.

 

I would definitely not do it now if I had a girlfriend or wife, otherwise I wouldn't be worth much anymore (at least in my view). I've witnessed a lot of misery from others and been in tough places (mentally) that made me realize how inconsiderate people can be, even people who claim that they have a happy marriage\relationship. Most people don't realize how lucky they are to have met someone that truly cares about them, they take it for granted. It's not their fault though as we are all victims of circumstance.

 

The way I see it, if you're not happy with your partner, dump him\her. Don't do things behind his\hers back; you wouldn't want your partner to do that, would you? Also, I think sex is ultimately quite insignificant compared to the benefits of love and a healthy relationship.

 

[shadyslady]

Most people don't realize how lucky they are to have met someone that truly cares about them, they take it for granted. It's not their fault though as we are all victims of circumstance.

 

 

Amen to that. I share your opinion. But...

 

 

The way I see it, if you're not happy with your partner, dump him\her. Don't do things behind his\hers back; you wouldn't want your partner to do that, would you? Also, I think sex is ultimately quite insignificant compared to the benefits of love and a healthy relationship.

 

...what about this? Keeping a relationship alive, happy. But if the need for a different sexual action comes in. Like with my friend who visits prostitues every now and then?

 

 

[Trund]

 

The way I see it, if you're not happy with your partner, dump him\her. Don't do things behind his\hers back; you wouldn't want your partner to do that, would you? Also, I think sex is ultimately quite insignificant compared to the benefits of love and a healthy relationship.

 

...what about this? Keeping a relationship alive, happy. But if the need for a different sexual action comes in. Like with my friend who visits prostitues every now and then?

I wonder what your friend would say, if his girlfriend was doing that?

In all honesty, I would be quite disgusted if my girlfriend would randomly sleep with (male) prostitutes. But then again it's hard to argue about something like this, everyone has a different taste, you'd never get to a real conclusion.

[DEALUX]

...what about this? Keeping a relationship alive, happy. But if the need for a different sexual action comes in. Like with my friend who visits prostitues every now and then?

Does he still have sex with his girlfriend though? Is it about some sexual preference or is he just bored of having sex with the same person? If it is the former, he should talk to his girlfriend about it if he hasn't already.

 

Maybe he is some sort of sex addict or just immature. I really don't see how you could claim that you are in a happy relationship when you have to do that.

[shadyslady]

Does he still have sex with his girlfriend though? Is it about some sexual preference or is he just bored of having sex with the same person? If it is the former, he should talk to his girlfriend about it if he hasn't already.

 

Maybe he is some sort of sex addict or just immature. I really don't see how you could claim that you are in a happy relationship when you have to do that.

Yes he does. And with his relationship, he maintains some kind of status I guess. She is a nice person, has a nice family. He really has his own view on things. I can tell you, I wouldn't visit a brothel even now that I'm solo and no girl is in sight. It's not even pride, but I wouldn't want to catch some (sexual) disease. I rather visit some internet sites and do it all by myself.

 

Like I said before. He sees more trouble with a random woman. She could "fall in love" or at least, develop some feelings and visit him, leave messages, make everything difficult. The whores would not visit him or do anything like that.

Sexual diseases? He puts on a condom and visits a brothel "he trusts".

 

Immature...yes, you can say that. But he says he sees other regulars at the brothel. Men who are actually fathers and husbands.

 

 

[El Zilcho]

Could I ask as to whether I'm unique in my position? I've never had a long term relationship, yet I am quite prolific in casual encounters with girls (parties and the like) - surprisingly, I've never felt the desire to pursue a conventional relationship. In terms of physicality, I've always treated it casually and honestly told girls so; while personally, on an emotional level (if I like a girl's personality) I've always treated them as platonic friends, getting close to them and 'friendzoning' them so to speak. As such I've never cheated; the closest in analogy is that I've never lied to a girl in order to bed her / get with her. So that's morally similar?

 

Does anyone else find themselves like this? Slightly deviant to the topic at hand but I must know if I'm strange in this respect

[Carbine23]

i don't understand, how could sex with the same person be boring? it still feels good and what not. As for me, i haven't been in a serious relationship in my life at all yet. But i could tell you i would never do that.

 

But i will say is i had sex with a girl on a cruise who had a boyfriend back home and she banged some other guy the night before. I kinda felt bad but it was her fault to be honest. Now she's got another boyfriend and i haven't had anything. Funny how things work.....

[shadyslady]

Could I ask as to whether I'm unique in my position? I've never had a long term relationship, yet I am quite prolific in casual encounters with girls (parties and the like) - surprisingly, I've never felt the desire to pursue a conventional relationship. In terms of physicality, I've always treated it casually and honestly told girls so; while personally, on an emotional level (if I like a girl's personality) I've always treated them as platonic friends, getting close to them and 'friendzoning' them so to speak. As such I've never cheated; the closest in analogy is that I've never lied to a girl in order to bed her / get with her. So that's morally similar?

 

Does anyone else find themselves like this? Slightly deviant to the topic at hand but I must know if I'm strange in this respect

You're not unique in that case. I share the very same attitude. Yes I cheated. But you must know: I was raised with mostly girls around me. Whether it was sisters, girls in Kindergarten, a single mother and mostly female teachers. In my first years on this planet I have been raised in a catholic manner.

I treated girls, women with respect first.

 

Like my friend, I also had quite some opportunities but I wouldn'T jump into the sheets like him. If a girl was like the town mattress, not even that intense, but in case too many people were badmouthing and more importantly, myself didn't have feelings for that girl in the first place, I didn't take that opportunity!

 

So it went on for years. Being some kind of "best friend" to girls. I had more female friends than male ones at some point. People haven't looked at it like "he is homosexual or trying too hard", they looked at me like someone who was good with the girls.

But well, as the years went by, I turned 20 and over, witnessed many relationships around go down and couples getting together, listening to all the problems over and over...

 

I realized girls might say "men shall show more emotions" etc, but let me tell you: most girls I met do say this, but fall in love with idiotic assholes, who either cheat on them obviously, or even physically hurt them, psychologically control them...things like that.

 

I stopped a few years ago. Not completely cut the connection to these female friends, but I realized, they "used" me. As a trash bin, a bin for emotional and mental garbage. Listened to too many problems. Gave advice but in the end, without any exception, they forgave they boyfriends for whatever bullsh*t they did.

 

In the end, these guys were the ones not having any trouble, they got laid again after all and had their relationship.

[Creed Bratton]

No. Cheating is betrayal. I don't tolerate betrayal.

[ryuclan]

i don't understand, how could sex with the same person be boring?

This answers that question.

 

i haven't been in a serious relationship in my life at all yet.

 

Also

 

But i could tell you i would never do that.

You never know until you're put in the situation where the temptation is there, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You seem like a good person.

 

 

[Harley]

 

Also we had sex at least six times and not one time did I finish or even come close.

But how did you know when to stop?

[ryuclan]

Also we had sex at least six times and not one time did I finish or even come close.

But how did you know when to stop?

When you start getting bored...your done lol.

[Loman]

My best friend hooked up with this girl from out of state a few times when she came in for an annual festival in our town. He did not like her at all. He just wanted sex. Well, she contacted me trying to get me to get him to talk to her online. He wouldn't. So, her and i start talking, and we find out we have a lot in common. I ask my friend if it is ok if I try to date her, he says its ok because he doesn't like her. For a whole year we talk online. I tell my friend I really like her, and you know talk about her a lot. So me and the girl are at the point where we are talking 24/7 saying I Love You, and dreaming about when we can be together.

Finally, after a year of that, she tells me she is coming to visit! I am excited as hell, you know? She shows up at my house, drunk as hell. Just plastered. And she wants to go to see my best friend. So we do (I don't know what I thought was going to happen). And within 5 minutes of us showing up at his house, they are having sex. if I hadn't left, they would have done it right in front of me. Then the next day they both try to tell me how they were both drunk so it didn't mean anything. Well it meant something to me, and that is why I deleted her from facebook and myspace (this was a few years ago now, lol), and told my best friend to just f*ck off. This guy had been my best friend for 15 years. But the night they had sex was the closest I have ever been to committing homicide.

I wasted a year of my life on that (there is no word to describe her harshly enough), This is why I vowed to never even attempt a long distance relationship again. I will die alone before I date someone I can't see.

 

 

 

[King Of Monra]

The only things I cheat on is my diet.

I've never cheated on one of my girlfriends.

[shadyslady]

My best friend hooked up with this girl from out of state a few times when she came in for an annual festival in our town. He did not like her at all. He just wanted sex. Well, she contacted me trying to get me to get him to talk to her online. He wouldn't. So, her and i start talking, and we find out we have a lot in common. I ask my friend if it is ok if I try to date her, he says its ok because he doesn't like her. For a whole year we talk online. I tell my friend I really like her, and you know talk about her a lot. So me and the girl are at the point where we are talking 24/7 saying I Love You, and dreaming about when we can be together.

Finally, after a year of that, she tells me she is coming to visit! I am excited as hell, you know? She shows up at my house, drunk as hell. Just plastered. And she wants to go to see my best friend. So we do (I don't know what I thought was going to happen). And within 5 minutes of us showing up at his house, they are having sex. if I hadn't left, they would have done it right in front of me. Then the next day they both try to tell me how they were both drunk so it didn't mean anything. Well it meant something to me, and that is why I deleted her from facebook and myspace (this was a few years ago now, lol), and told my best friend to just f*ck off. This guy had been my best friend for 15 years. But the night they had sex was the closest I have ever been to committing homicide.

I wasted a year of my life on that (there is no word to describe her harshly enough), This is why I vowed to never even attempt a long distance relationship again. I will die alone before I date someone I can't see.

Even if I don't know you, I can imagine the feeling. I'm sorry. A similar situation happened at mine. Like I said, I had quite some female friends, platonic friendship. People might say this can not exist between women and men. Because in the end one part of the couple wants to try something.

 

However, here's the story: there was this girl I was partying with. A nice girl, but no GF potential to me. It was something like Ryuclan described. Even though him and this girl had sex. The girl I'm talking about was more like a male friend to me. She was a beauty for sure, but I wasn't interested in her sexually. She wasn't into me, neither.

 

So we were like, exchanging books, music, things we like. We were close. We were partying on weed and x, when it came to a point she met my best (male) friend. It was a strange evening. I reckon this "platonic friendship" with her had passed its best moment and was meant to die that day. The three of us was having "fun", drinking, smoking, but her being like "pulling him to the side, taking him outside the door for a smoke,..." She wanted to be close to him.

 

It was hard seeing that. I can't even put the feeling into words. It wasn't exactly jealousy. I had opportunites in the past with her where I could have started something but I didn't, so, I can not say what it was. But it was a f*cked up feeling.

 

So I went out of the house. Went for a drive. Came back two hours later, slowly opened the door when I saw them doing it.

I silently left the room. I didn't disturb them. That day, our friendship ended. I could have try to force to kep it together, but something inside me just didn't want to continue being this girl's best male friend. And my best male friend who screwed her. We know each other since we were teenagers. I coulnd't and wouldn't cut the connection. He is my friend. But the relationship took damage ever since. I don't know, he felt guilty I guess. I'm not mad at him. He took an opportunity I didn't. I reckon it is my personal problem. If I'd stick to strictly male friends, things like that wouldn't happen.

 

[Loman]

Believe me, I know what that's like. I have a lot of female friends, and I have a lot of female "just friends". Big difference, lol. Friends is awesome, "just friends" is awkward. Even more awkward when they end up with someone you know.

 

I lost a girlfriend who was 25 years old (I was 27, this was after the thing in the first post) to a 58 year old man, just because he had more money than me. literally, thats what she said, it was the only reason... she met him on sugardaddyforme.com (essentially, it is prostitution with do-it-yourself pimping).

 

My love life is a long string of tragedies, lol. I am a nice guy, and women just don't seem to like that.

 

[shadyslady]

Believe me, I know what that's like. I have a lot of female friends, and I have a lot of female "just friends". Big difference, lol. Friends is awesome, "just friends" is awkward. Even more awkward when they end up with someone you know.

 

I lost a girlfriend who was 25 years old (I was 27, this was after the thing in the first post) to a 58 year old man, just because he had more money than me. literally, thats what she said, it was the only reason... she met him on sugardaddyforme.com (essentially, it is prostitution with do-it-yourself pimping).

 

My love life is a long string of tragedies, lol. I am a nice guy, and women just don't seem to like that.

I agree. I always thought of it like being narrow minded. If somebody told me, "male-female-platonic-friendships don't exist".

But in the end, they were correct.

 

Any boy I know who is hanging among a clique of girls or a girl in particular, is only there to give them some confidence or listen to their problems. In the end, the women take, like in my case, the smarter guy, meaning, the one who wants to play the part. The one who wants to screw them. And the one who listened to their problems, no. They DO LIKE the attention though.

 

If you observe women, when they talk to each other, they can perfectly talk for hours, without sharing information at all. They chit chat and even put emotions into it. They next minute it is all gone. And as a man, being part of that, it's tiresome. I won't do it anymore. No more platonic friendships with women for me!

[AlfieWilRus]

Could I ask as to whether I'm unique in my position? I've never had a long term relationship, yet I am quite prolific in casual encounters with girls (parties and the like) - surprisingly, I've never felt the desire to pursue a conventional relationship. In terms of physicality, I've always treated it casually and honestly told girls so; while personally, on an emotional level (if I like a girl's personality) I've always treated them as platonic friends, getting close to them and 'friendzoning' them so to speak. As such I've never cheated; the closest in analogy is that I've never lied to a girl in order to bed her / get with her. So that's morally similar?

 

Does anyone else find themselves like this? Slightly deviant to the topic at hand but I must know if I'm strange in this respect

You're not unique in that case. I share the very same attitude. Yes I cheated. But you must know: I was raised with mostly girls around me. Whether it was sisters, girls in Kindergarten, a single mother and mostly female teachers. In my first years on this planet I have been raised in a catholic manner.

I treated girls, women with respect first.

 

Like my friend, I also had quite some opportunities but I wouldn'T jump into the sheets like him. If a girl was like the town mattress, not even that intense, but in case too many people were badmouthing and more importantly, myself didn't have feelings for that girl in the first place, I didn't take that opportunity!

 

So it went on for years. Being some kind of "best friend" to girls. I had more female friends than male ones at some point. People haven't looked at it like "he is homosexual or trying too hard", they looked at me like someone who was good with the girls.

But well, as the years went by, I turned 20 and over, witnessed many relationships around go down and couples getting together, listening to all the problems over and over...

 

I realized girls might say "men shall show more emotions" etc, but let me tell you: most girls I met do say this, but fall in love with idiotic assholes, who either cheat on them obviously, or even physically hurt them, psychologically control them...things like that.

 

I stopped a few years ago. Not completely cut the connection to these female friends, but I realized, they "used" me. As a trash bin, a bin for emotional and mental garbage. Listened to too many problems. Gave advice but in the end, without any exception, they forgave they boyfriends for whatever bullsh*t they did.

 

In the end, these guys were the ones not having any trouble, they got laid again after all and had their relationship.

wow, you sound exactly like a woman making excuses to why her cheating was justified.

[shadyslady]

wow, you sound exactly like a woman making excuses to why her cheating was justified.

I don't exactly understand what you're saying. Explain.