orbitalraindrops Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Had a girl round today who I want to plow. Fit one too, not a fatty like my usual conquests. Even has a nice personality, I know right. She is actually amazing. Like she's one of those girls who I respect as a person and not who I just see as a walking talking vagina that needs my penis to shut it up. Anyway she wants to go on my computer to go on her facebook or whatever because this date (It wasn't a date but I don't know what else to call it) was a bit awkward as she's already seen my encyclopedia on battles of the late 18th century so her pussys probably pretty dry at this point. Anyway she goes on the computer boots up the internet. I'm thinking of maybe lighting the pipe, get some weed going and regain my cool points (Also I smoked a crack in it for the first time on new years and I want to get her muntered as she's more likely to lose her clothes that way... and everyone knows, there ain't no Ho like a Crack Coke Ho). So whilst Im fiddling with my stash box she goes to type in the address bar and lo and behold what comes up as a suggested site... G T A f*cking Forums (Paraphrased version of conversation which im recollecting through tears) "Wait your on a forum?!" "Um... no" "It says right here G...T...A Forums. Whatever happened to you saying "I just use the internet to listen to music and facebook, everyone else on it is sad as f*ck". "Oh nah I just go on it for cheats and stuff for a game" "It's a GAME forum!!!" "Oh nah.. well yeah but not in a sad way. it's for GTA IV, it's like a pretty cool game" "Of course it is " By this point she's laughing and I remember feeling the blood rushing to my face. I had to control the situation so I was just like whatever man and told her to forget about it and type the rest of facebook into the search bar whilst I pack a bowl. She literally types in the f*cking book for faceBOOK and before she can hit enter she's submerged in a barrage of suggestions ranging from hentai, escort angencies and vast quantities of the hardest pornography. Needless to say I didn't plow her. What I did do was masturbate into the sink violently. Drink some tomato juice and tell all my friends that I did f*ck her and I was the best she ever had. Moral of the story. Don't let a bish near your computer if you got porn or they'll go cray. Orbital out. Pyrrhic 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nebby Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I'd really like to know how you haven't been banned yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icarus Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Owned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonshield Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Don't worry, you'll get called up to the majors at some point, promise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EscoLehGo Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 You're like a much darker, disturbing and far less believable version of GTA_stu......I like it, carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverTheBelow Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 You're like a much darker, disturbing and far less believable version of GTA_stu......I like it, carry on. that's what i was thinking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secura Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 You're like a much darker, disturbing and far less believable version of GTA_stu......I like it, carry on. Now, we wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corndawg93 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 You poor bastard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 All you had to do was say you were looking for cheats. Morale of the story, clear your search history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orbitalraindrops Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 Im going to find this GTA Stu he sounds like a legend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatGig Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) Of all the things to choose from in that tale of yours, you think this place is what "cockblocked" you? Edited January 3, 2013 by TheGreatGig23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orbitalraindrops Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 I like to think of myself as more of Typhus with a sex drive on MDMA. And yes GTA_stu is a legend as I thought, Im jsut gonna spend all evening going through his posts admiring ><. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MURDOC* Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 My fiancee laughed at your story. That you posted. On a GAME forum. Find a better class of lady, my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OchyGTA Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 So your apparent Steve Buscemi face didn't f*ck you up this time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
universetwisters Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Uh...bummer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr quick Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 My dearest and I love gta Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triple Vacuum Seal Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 That's why you use incognito browser for ALL web surfing. Then you occasionally fill up your regular browsing history with goody good stuff for when the Mrs. is around the computer. I don't know anyone else in person who browses this site, but I know it's quite popular. A good bit of the quality in this community isn't even GTA-related. I think it's healthy to be a member of at least one or two online communities (as long as you have a life) so I personally prefer one of them to be of "GTA folks". I can't really put my finger on it but people here (off-topic) seem different in a good way. Good to see a foreign point of view on things too I guess. "shut up, sit down, relax" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
na89340qv0n34b09q340 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 If I were a women you were trying to court I wouldn't have left because of GTAforums. Actually I wouldn't have been around long enough to have used your computer, especially not in your house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.Mister Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 (edited) You have never experienced a true cockblock. Stop blaming us for your inability to get it in wit a lady of the night My name is Mr.Mister, CEO of Big Titty Committee, and I approve this message Edited January 3, 2013 by Mr.Mister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyrrhic Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 10/10 would lol again. seriously though. sucks. to. be. you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waddy Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Hilarious! I do have man flu right now though and the pills are helping... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rabbit Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 You're like a much darker, disturbing and far less believable version of GTA_stu......I like it, carry on. now you said that I can't stop thinking that this is his alter ego or something that's why I use google chrome ingognito Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Mind paraphrasing the reaction to the hentai and escort agency part? I'm intrigued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingdongs Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Mind paraphrasing the reaction to the hentai and escort agency part? I'm intrigued. Yeah seriously... are you sure it was GTAF that scared her away and not this sh*t OP? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullworthAcademy Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I would not want to be you at that moment. You are like gta_stu. O_o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Rabbit Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Mind paraphrasing the reaction to the hentai and escort agency part? I'm intrigued. Yeah seriously... are you sure it was GTAF that scared her away and not this sh*t OP? nah that almost rescued matters. to be honest if the V forum opened up I can see how this would scare her off more than the other, perhaps more unsavoury (in the eyes of some) sites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Dildo Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 a forum has never cock blocked anyone. if you couldn't seal the deal, that's your fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buzbegone Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 What I did do was masturbate into the sink violently. Drink some tomato juice and tell all my friends that I did f*ck her and I was the best she ever had. I think your female friend just dodged a bullet. I'm just imagining her visiting this site out of curiosity and finding this topic. Good luck explaining that one chief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triple Vacuum Seal Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 What I did do was masturbate into the sink violently. Drink some tomato juice and tell all my friends that I did f*ck her and I was the best she ever had. I think your female friend just dodged a bullet. I'm just imagining her visiting this site out of curiosity and finding this topic. Good luck explaining that one chief My exact thoughts after reading. She probably thinks that this forum is full of sick f*cks. She's probably spreading the word about the OP too . I guess GTAF will take publicity however it can get it. "shut up, sit down, relax" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.dre. Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I can't breathe. Thanks I had a sh*tty day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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