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If you met your favourite GTA character...


Soup Kitchen
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Bear in mind that you can say anything at all, provided you speak in a living language. No Latin or Aramaic please.

 

Also, if you talk about the kid from Bully, or Max Payne, the character could get a really bad migraine and then implode.

 

Please be sure to tell us which character you are talking to, and whether you believe they are based on an actual, living fish.

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Me: Maria Latore, did you die before the credits rolled in GTA 3?

Maria: Yes, those people who think Claude fired his gun to silence me are all idiots.

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Bear in mind that you can say anything at all, provided you speak in a living language. No Latin or Aramaic please.

 

Also, if you talk about the kid from Bully, or Max Payne, the character could get a really bad migraine and then implode.

 

Please be sure to tell us which character you are talking to, and whether you believe they are based on an actual, living fish.

Cesar Vialpando. "O ye, wut up ese? Comos los thug life holmes"

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Niko:Hello.

Me:Niko ! Let's go bowling !

 

Or

 

Little Jacob:Whagwan rastaman,dat ting that jah wera goin' to fo I 'n I,jah done it ?

Me:Wait,let me turn on subtitles...

Edited by EDMEISTERX
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Me (disguising voice): Hello Gay Tony, are you the real life Tony?

 

Gay Tony: Yes, I am Gay Tony.

 

Me: I am very sick to meet you in this swimming pool.

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Flight180Victm

Me: Hey Tommy! How's the suntan? biggrin.gif

Tommy: Dumb...Florida...Moron. dozingoff.gif

Edited by Flight180Victm
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Me: Well if it isn't San Andreas's most notorious gangster. What are you going to do today?

 

Carl Johnson: Spawn a hydra, gamble, maybe go on a tank rampage.

 

Me: Cool.

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Carl "The CJ" Johnson: Hello, I am Carl Johnson. Who are you?

 

Me: I am Carl Johnson.

 

Carl Johnson: It is true.

 

Me: I need your help. I am very ill.

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TheGodDamnMaster

Me: Hey Packie what's up?

Packie: Who the hell are you?

Me: You don't know me, but I've heard a lot of interesting things about you.

Packie: What are you getting at?

Me: Like the fact that you robbed the Bank of Liberty, were molested by your father, and have little will to live.

Packie: What the f*ck did you just say? You better keep your mouth shut, because if I hear another f*cking word from you, I'm planting a bullet in your forehead!

Me: Alright! Chill out! I just think you're pretty badass is all. I think it would be cool to hang with you sometime. I could explain how I learned these facts. Come on, my treat.

Packie: Like hell, I will! Now f*ck off!

Me: Are you sure? I know things about the rest of your family too. I'm only 20 years old and I'm not a cop, so I'd think you'd be interested in at least hearing me out over a few Piswassers.

Packie: Fine, you can take me to the Beer Garden in Steinway, and you WILL buy me as many drinks as I want, got it?

Me: Very well.

 

 

gFNsyFepSNK2dgwT5xpc_nintendo-games-gif_

Intel Core i9-9900k | Seasonic FOCUS Plus 750W | 32GB Corsair Vengeance LPX 2666MHz
MSI GeForce RTX2070 | WD Blue 1TB HDD | Samsung 950 PRO M.2 512GB
Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower | MSI MPG Z390 Gaming Pro Carbon AC

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You'll die in 2 years in an exchange gone wrong, also your bro will die after he betrays a serial killer called mr vercetti

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Me: Niko, don't date Packie's sister.

Niko: Who is Packie?

Me: You will meet him in the future.

Niko: Why shouldn't i date his sister?

Me: I can't tell you, but you will understand when you see her.

Niko: Is she ugly or what?

Me: No, you will actually fall in love with her.

Niko: Why shouldn't i date her then?

Me: Just do what i say please smile.gif

Niko: Okay...

 

*3-6 Months Later*

 

Me: So, Niko.. Did you date Kate?

Niko: She is dead.

Me: *facepalm*

Edited by Gtaghost22
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Me and Claude

 

Me: Sup Claude

Claude: Remains Silent

Me: So How's Life

Claude: Still Silent

Me: So , Um do you know when GTA V comes out?

Claude: Silent

Me: Your Just as bad as Rockstar with the release date, I hate you, you mute F%*%*r

Claude: Still Silent (walks into a rampage icon)

Me:DAMN! I shouldn't have insulted him

Edited by RogueGhost87
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If I met Carl(CJ)Johnson (Young Maylay) I'd tell him to kick Niko's ass wink.gif.

 

(I bet IV FANBOYS are going to flame me for this).

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Me: Hey Roman! How are you!

Roman: I'm fine and... hey, do you want to go bowling?

 

The news next day:

 

Roman Bellic found dead with a bullet in the @$$.

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  • 2 weeks later...
GTA fan from the United Kingdom

Me: wagwhan Jacob, ya wan blaze de ganja wiv i an i?

Jacob: Respect bredren, yah a real rude bwoi, seen?

Me: seen

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YEAR 2011

 

Me: "Yo Packie... Want to make some money? I gaurantee more than a million dollars from this heist."

Packie: "...Who the f*ck are you?"

Me: "Just trust me. We'll head over to Rockstar Games and steal more than 5,000 copies of Grand Theft Auto 5. Then sell them on the streets of Liberty City for a thousand dollars a piece. You down?"

Packie: "What the f*ck is Grand Theft Auto 5? Some new type of meth?"

Me: "No, man, it's a video game."

Packie: "Who the f*ck is going to pay a thousand dollars for a video game?"

Me: "In Liberty City, weed costs 500 bucks. Grand Theft Auto 5 is brand new sh*t that won't hit the streets until another million years the way Rockstar slacks off. If we can get out hands on a sh*t load of them, we'll hit the f*cking gold mine!"

Packie: "I don't know... You sure about this?"

Me: "Willing to bet my life on it."

Packie: "f*ck it, lets go. I ain't sayin' no to more than a million."

 

After the heist and illegal distribution of GTA V, I flee to Vice City and he goes to Los Santos.

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