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The OFFICIAL guide to help you prepare for, GTA5.


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JoeJoeMcTwist
I need a microwave and a mini fridge in my room = no moar getting up for pizza rolls

yeah and wheres the toilet and refrigerator?

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Is this really necessary?

There is always somebody who takes life a little to serious. #L7

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Nice use of that comma in the title there. And of course the unnecessary topic description.

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I will play it in my office (in my house there's a room where I put the computers, where I do all my stuff of my work, some machinimas... And where I have my ps3). I don't have money and space for buying a big tv. sad.gif

 

So I'll use the ps3 in the same tv (it has 19" Not big deal) which I connect my macbook (VGA), later I'll change the input to the HDMI one, I'll turn on my ps3, I will put the GTAV disc, and I doubt that I'm going to put it out until some months later, only for change the place of the ps3 to not f*ck up the disc, for some reason...

 

I always have my cup full of water and the kitchen is near and the bathroom too, so my office is in the best place of the house hahaha.

 

When the first cutscene plays I'm going to put my ass in my comfortable chair, drink some beer and freak the hell out. When the first cutscene ends I will go to the bathroom,it would be like when you watch a tv-show and they put the advertisements... only to make sure that I don't have to pee or take a crap for some hours (like when we were kids and we were to go on a travel on that sh*tty car of your dad).

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for the bathroom part, ill call up my mom on a walkie talky like eric cartman and have her bring a little bowl to hold up to my butt and ill squirt my crap all over the place and then tell her to bring more hot pockets

user posted image

Edited by whopper22
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White Hot Speed

Great list dude, I'm on it! Tearing my room apart as we speak. A few extra suggestions:

 

Get up and jog in place during driving missions.

 

Screw having a table, I suggest surrounding your chair with heavy duty shelving. Have 2 two top shelves, and two at arms height. A few long 2"x10"s stacked on milk crates, (borrowed) from your local quicky mart /petro station should suffice. Smartly designed, you should have access to a mini-fridge, micro, trash can, laptop, piss bucket, etc... Piss in a 5 gallon bucket with a couple of sanitary pucks, a little water, and a lid. Tell your parents the bucket saves them on water bills, since your now exercising, and showering more, it's the least you can do.

 

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theworldfamous

 

but studies show that everyday a persons skips taking a shower their health/happiness/and energy levels decrease by 34%.

 

you mean you've played the Sims a couple of times?

 

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I think the best way to prepare for this game is to prepare for disappointment, after such a long wait and info draught, I'm expecting things that I don't think R* can live up to, don't get me wrong il still buy it.

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Unboxing GTA V and at the same time lighting a joint...

 

What a huge moment that will be.

 

Rockstar give us this f*cking masterpiece.

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Why would i spent 12k just to play a video game? Best video game ever most likely i know, but still...

No offence but this is a bad idea, i know you're joking by the way, just pointing that out. biggrin.gif

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I Shot The Sheriff

LOL, I won't do absolutely nothing of that

 

 

You may not notice your body odor because you are used to it, but studies show that everyday a persons skips taking a shower their health/happiness/and energy levels decrease by 34%.

 

Clearly false. Unless you do some kind of heavy physical activity, it's not completely necessary. And if there is really a study that says that, it's just a way to keep the masses consuming.

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theworldfamous

ingredients:

1 crappy xbox

1 slightly less crappy screen

2 frozen pizzas

1 oven

3 cases of beer

1 bottle of gin

1 bottle of tonic

3 bags of icecubes in the freezer

3 bluntwraps

3 grams of kush

1 pack of cigarettes

1 phone to order more pizza

1 lighter

1 large ashtray

1 couch

1 armchair

1 gta V case

1 gta V manual to read when taking a dump

1 gta V disc

 

 

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I bought myself a 50inch plasma TV the other month and the first game I'm going to play on it is GTA V. That's all the preparation I've done.

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JoeJoeMcTwist
Unboxing GTA V and at the same time lighting a joint...

 

What a huge moment that will be.

 

Rockstar give us this f*cking masterpiece.

Amen brother

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blowtorchrepair

 

Once you picked the room, you will want that room to be elevated 5 feet off the ground.

How does one do that? mercie_blink.gif

Easy... TRAILER HOUSE.

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ingredients:

1 crappy xbox

1 slightly less crappy screen

2 frozen pizzas

1 oven

3 cases of beer

1 bottle of gin

1 bottle of tonic

3 bags of icecubes in the freezer

3 bluntwraps

3 grams of kush

1 pack of cigarettes

1 phone to order more pizza

1 lighter

1 large ashtray

1 couch

1 armchair

1 gta V case

1 gta V manual to read when taking a dump

1 gta V disc

Perfection. I'm printing this list out. icon14.gif

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I will update this guide later

oh goodie.

 

I can't wait to hear the rest of your invaluable insights regarding the proper way to relax and play a video game.

thank god for your genius revelations. most of these things had never occurred to me.

 

where would we be without this fabulous guide?

 

user posted image

HOLY SH*t that eye on his chest its f***ing everywhere it's the Illuminati Crap.

TOPIC: this guide is bad and you should feel bad who would pay $12000 just to get comfortable im okay with my PC and my Seat

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A. It is highly recommended that you buy a high quality 240Hz 1080p 42-inch flat screen TV with an HDMI cable. (doing this will provide you with the best visual experience possible)[/color]

1080p? Yes. 42-inch? Yes. 240Hz? No. More than 100Hz isn't neccessary. The image quality and the contrast ratio are the most important things. I recommed a contrast ratio of 50000:1 or higher. The older the TV is the lesser will be the contrast ratio so it's better to have 50000:1 so the image quality won't suffer much.

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Do you want to enjoy Grand Theft Auto 5 to the max? That's what I'm here for!  biggrin.gif  This guide is here to help YOU get ready for the release of Grand Theft Auto 5. Let's get started.

 

#1. - Pick what you will use to play Grand theft Auto 5 on.

 

 

#2. - Pick the room where you will put that computer/console to play Grand Theft Auto 5 on.

 

 

#3. - Cooling/Ventilation system.

 

A. Once you picked the room, you will want to hire a professional remodeling company to elevate the room 5 feet off the ground. Once that is done, have a professional install the cooling/ventilation system in the specific room. Doing this provides fresh and cooling air not only for you but for the computer or console that you are playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on. (this will prevent nausea and overheating)

 

B. Once the cooling/ventilation system is setup make sure you have a de-humidifier in the room to keep the humidity levels down, as humidity is bad for electronics. (this will keep you comfortable and the electronics healthy)

 

 

#4. - Furniture/decor.

 

A. Using the proper type of furniture is important, but some people use the wrong type of furniture, and in doing so causes back alignment issues, soar neck issues, leg cramps, bad/poor blood circulation issues, etc. Therefore it is highly suggested that you buy the proper type of furniture to use while you are playing Grand Theft Auto 5.

 

B. Decoration is necessary if you enjoy customizing your surroundings as studies show that people who enjoy customizing their rooms are 23% happier during activities done in their room.

 

 

#5. - Television/Sound system.

 

A. It is highly recommended that you buy a high quality 240Hz 1080p 42-inch flat screen TV with an HDMI cable. (doing this will provide you with the best visual experience possible)

 

B. Another highly recommended suggestion is that you buy a surround sound system with an Optic-fiber cable. (doing this will optimize all sounds up to a real life level)

 

 

#6. - Food/Beverages.

 

A. High quality food is completely necessary for this as it may enhance your experience and keep you full for longer periods of time. (a mini-refrigerator is recommended to minimize walking distance)

 

B. Water is the most recommended beverage due to it's great thirst-quenching abilities and it health factors. Energy drinks may also be appropriate for times when you need enhanced reflexes and/or need to stay up late or pull an all-nighter. (a mini-refrigerator is recommended to minimize walking distance)

 

 

#7. - Restroom/hygiene.

 

A. You will need a way to go to the bathroom no matter what. The recommended way to take care of that is to use a toilet. (a restroom closest to you is recommended to minimize walking distance)

 

B. An alternative way to go to the bathroom is in bottles. (this is not recommended because it is un-sanitary and risky)

 

C. It is recommend that you take at least 1 shower a day to keep down the levels of body odor. You may not notice your body odor because you are used to it, but studies show that everyday a persons skips taking a shower their health/happiness/and energy levels decrease by 34%.

 

Total estimated cost: $12,700

 

rampage_ani.gif -----------------------I will update this guide later----------------------- rampage_ani.gif

user posted image

 

Excellent guide, thats gonna change our lifes and gaming experience, can you post photos of your room? orly.gif

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people here really have too much time on their hands

you have way too much time on your hands if you have to come on the internet to scold other people for having too much time on their hands.

 

 

 

 

@OP

 

Good advice will take into account on GTAV day. What about some kind of I.V drip to keep you awake as you play. You know we cant fall asleep while playing that would be terrible! wow.gif

Edited by johnny_zoo
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