L-C-P-D Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) Do you want to enjoy Grand Theft Auto 5 to the max? That's what I'm here for! This guide is here to help YOU get ready for the release of Grand Theft Auto 5. Let's get started. #1. - Pick what you will use to play Grand theft Auto 5 on. #2. - Pick the room where you will put that computer/console to play Grand Theft Auto 5 on. #3. - Cooling/Ventilation system. A. Once you picked the room, you will want to hire a professional remodeling company to elevate the room 5 feet off the ground. Once that is done, have a professional install the cooling/ventilation system in the specific room. Doing this provides fresh and cooling air not only for you but for the computer or console that you are playing Grand Theft Auto 5 on. (this will prevent nausea and overheating) B. Once the cooling/ventilation system is setup make sure you have a de-humidifier in the room to keep the humidity levels down, as humidity is bad for electronics. (this will keep you comfortable and the electronics healthy) #4. - Furniture/decor. A. Using the proper type of furniture is important, but some people use the wrong type of furniture, and in doing so causes back alignment issues, soar neck issues, leg cramps, bad/poor blood circulation issues, etc. Therefore it is highly suggested that you buy the proper type of furniture to use while you are playing Grand Theft Auto 5. B. Decoration is necessary if you enjoy customizing your surroundings as studies show that people who enjoy customizing their rooms are 23% happier during activities done in their room. #5. - Television/Sound system. A. It is highly recommended that you buy a high quality 240Hz 1080p 42-inch flat screen TV with an HDMI cable. (doing this will provide you with the best visual experience possible) B. Another highly recommended suggestion is that you buy a surround sound system with an Optic-fiber cable. (doing this will optimize all sounds up to a real life level) #6. - Food/Beverages. A. High quality food is completely necessary for this as it may enhance your experience and keep you full for longer periods of time. (a mini-refrigerator is recommended to minimize walking distance) B. Water is the most recommended beverage due to it's great thirst-quenching abilities and it health factors. Energy drinks may also be appropriate for times when you need enhanced reflexes and/or need to stay up late or pull an all-nighter. (a mini-refrigerator is recommended to minimize walking distance) #7. - Restroom/hygiene. A. You will need a way to go to the bathroom no matter what. The recommended way to take care of that is to use a toilet. (a restroom closest to you is recommended to minimize walking distance) B. An alternative way to go to the bathroom is in bottles. (this is not recommended because it is un-sanitary and risky) C. It is recommend that you take at least 1 shower a day to keep down the levels of body odor. You may not notice your body odor because you are used to it, but studies show that everyday a persons skips taking a shower their health/happiness/and energy levels decrease by 34%. #8. - Safety. A. It is recommended that you purchase, "Life Alert". The monthly monitoring fees for these packages range between $29.95-$59.95. The recommended package is roughly $60.00 and contains almost instant help for, Health Emergencies, Home Intrusion, Fire protection, and Co Gas Poisoning. Now if you fall, you can call someone to help you get back up. B. Purchasing life alert may save your life and in doing so buys you more time to play Grant Theft Auto 5. Total estimated cost: $12,850 -----------------------Updated on 9/20/2012----------------------- Edited September 21, 2012 by L-C-P-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OatMuffin Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Is this really necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chunkyman Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Once you picked the room, you will want that room to be elevated 5 feet off the ground. How does one do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GroveStRoamer Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Dildo Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I will update this guide later oh goodie. I can't wait to hear the rest of your invaluable insights regarding the proper way to relax and play a video game. thank god for your genius revelations. most of these things had never occurred to me. where would we be without this fabulous guide? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arran B Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 f*ck what anyone says about this, this is brilliant and thought out well. The only thing missing is a big sack of green IMO, fair play if some of you don't agree that's cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarrowsKai Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Rofl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeShibbs Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) Ya ok right, hold on let me write a check for 12,000. Totally worth it. Edited September 3, 2012 by JoeShibbs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheKryptonite Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 f*ck what anyone says about this, this is brilliant and thought out well. The only thing missing is a big sack of green IMO, fair play if some of you don't agree that's cool I read that as "Big black dick." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arran B Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 The opening line was SUCH a Pyramid schemey sort of thing to say though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zirvlok Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 f*ck what anyone says about this, this is brilliant and thought out well. The only thing missing is a big sack of green IMO, fair play if some of you don't agree that's cool Wait, do you plan on smoking your FIRST time playing V? I personally prefer being sober when doing something for the first time. Anyways, I think this was written solely for entertainment, not as an actual guide. No need ripping on it. And I laughed at the total estimated cost of $12,700 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
universetwisters Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Didn't you do some mega-detailed guide for V's trailer? I never needed the "small snack" for a one-minute trailer. I rarely eat while gaming, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.dre. Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) This is a fun little guide but I laughed when I saw the estimated amount for all of this. Maybe later on, as the release date approaches, we can recommend some crime movies set in L.A. Edited September 3, 2012 by .dre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arran B Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 f*ck what anyone says about this, this is brilliant and thought out well. The only thing missing is a big sack of green IMO, fair play if some of you don't agree that's cool Wait, do you plan on smoking your FIRST time playing V? I personally prefer being sober when doing something for the first time. Anyways, I think this was written solely for entertainment, not as an actual guide. No need ripping on it. And I laughed at the total estimated cost of $12,700 . Well yeah on release day of course, but after a few hours sober of course, you really need to have a clear head to embrace something as amazing as playing a new GTA for the first time. Really can't wait to just get lost in the forests in V whilst stoned and finding my way back to.civilisation with the HUD and map off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kifflom112 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 lol, nice guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyfa Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 10/10 I laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTerminatorNY Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Once you picked the room, you will want that room to be elevated 5 feet off the ground. How does one do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisciletti Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Great guide. I will use it in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kj2022 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 pfft 42 inches? best viewing pleasure? i'd play it through my damn ipod touch screen if i had to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zirvlok Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 f*ck what anyone says about this, this is brilliant and thought out well. The only thing missing is a big sack of green IMO, fair play if some of you don't agree that's cool Wait, do you plan on smoking your FIRST time playing V? I personally prefer being sober when doing something for the first time. Anyways, I think this was written solely for entertainment, not as an actual guide. No need ripping on it. And I laughed at the total estimated cost of $12,700 . Well yeah on release day of course, but after a few hours sober of course, you really need to have a clear head to embrace something as amazing as playing a new GTA for the first time. Really can't wait to just get lost in the forests in V whilst stoned and finding my way back to.civilisation with the HUD and map off. That sounds like a great idea! I'd probably get side tracked looking at the nature though . I definetely look foward to having some interesting stoned adventures. I'll probably do the story sober though, atleast the first time anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raynos Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Thanks buddy!! 1-6 Done! Option 7, I was thinking of getting a toilet sofa installed in my room. This way, if i have to go, I just go, I don't have to move, flush or anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L-C-P-D Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 That is a good idea. Is there really such a thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johan Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 This is amazing lol all I need is a sound system or I can play the game with my Sony wireless stereo headset Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrialzGTAS Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Dude. I will spend about 20 bucks for MTN Dew and junk food to enjoy the first day, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DS 17 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Bureaucracy, hi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATastyCookie Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I need a microwave and a mini fridge in my room = no moar getting up for pizza rolls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayvercetti Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 i have been waiting for over a year for a release date so I can buy the sharp aqous 70'. The day I get a release date is the day I will own that bad boy. I buy a new TV every GTA release. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatThe? Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Ive got £12,000 sitting on my bedroom side, I'll just buy all the stuff recommended and I'll have the best gaming Expirence ever! Seriously what is this about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikoVercetti Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 LOL at the obligatory joyless bastards who are in every thread, condemning and questioning its existence. Funny thread, OP. Good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiskeyFoxtrot Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 This guide helps to ensure the most optimal gaming experience ever. Don't forget to place the mini fridge next to the couch so drinks are just an arm reach away! Cup holders on the arm rests of the reclining couch are a plus too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts