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TheGTAHell97

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TheGTAHell97

Hello.

I'm 15 and my problem is I can't talk to anybody except for my classmates.. I wanted to be friends with students from other classes but I don't know how.. sad.gif I also have problems with "GIRLS"... blush.gif The only thing I have said to a girl was "Hi" and that was on Twitter... She replied but I don't know what to say to her.. Basically, my problem is how to communicate properly and how to obtain and maintain friendship... Thx for listening.. smile.gif

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Speak to mutual friends, have them introduce you to other people and in that familiar environment, you can work on feeling comfortable. Then move this up to people at parties, unfamiliar classes, clubs or whatever. Try and appear confident and put all that is good about your character on show; be humorous, amicable, attentive, etc. Alternatively, if you're at a party you could drink a little and like chemical magic your irritating inhibitions are peeled away. Especially useful if trying to pull the ladies and you're short on confidence when sober.

U R B A N I T A S

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TheGTAHell97

My friends introduced me to them but... That's it.. I don't know what to talk about...

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VercettiCrimeFamily

You may have social aniexty search for the symptoms to see if thats the problem.

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TheGTAHell97

I searched Google for "How to overcome Shyness" and read through some articles but I don't understand anything that was written...

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Original Light

Take little steps.

Accomplish small tasks at first, such as saying "hi" in person, not on twitter, facebook, etc...

Once you do that, and you feel good with yourself, move it up a step.

Try to have "small talk", or stuff related to what you're doing in class.

Speak slowly, not fast. When you do this, it makes you mess up, and makes yourself think that they don't care what you have to say, since you're speaking fast before they can talk over you. Vice-versa also, meaning that they'll think what you have to say is not important.

If you're talking to a girl, pretend you're talking to a boy. Try not to look at their boobs too much, or focus on how attractive they are. This will only make you feel awkward and scared.

If you do this over time, you will get better and better at socializing.

Be cocky and confident. Even if you're not, pretend you are.

I wish you the best of luck.

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I searched Google for "How to overcome Shyness" and read through some articles but I don't understand anything that was written...

That's a different problem, perhaps worst than your social ones.

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Don't over think it mate, honestly.

If you really are 15, don't stress, it's not long now before you'll be exposed to the world of alcohol which will help you immensely! tounge.gif

 

I did a quick google search. Surely this is straight forward enough and could help you in some way?

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You won't learn how to talk to people unless you actually do it. Communication and learning to be social are things that only come to you via practice. If you can tolerate being a bit awkward to start out, and can be okay with feeling a little embarrassed and uncomfortable, then I suggest stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to a random person.

 

It might be best to try talking to people you don't have to see often, such as a random student in the halls (not from one of your classes) or someone at a shop you like to frequent. Not having the anxiety of being judged by a peer that you encounter frequently can make it a lot easier to practice meeting strangers.

 

You gotta put yourself out there!

usZpdN9.png

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TheGTAHell97

Thx to those who gave advice.. And thx to Remix for the interesting article..

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TheGTAHell97
You won't learn how to talk to people unless you actually do it. Communication and learning to be social are things that only come to you via practice. If you can tolerate being a bit awkward to start out, and can be okay with feeling a little embarrassed and uncomfortable, then I suggest stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to a random person.

 

It might be best to try talking to people you don't have to see often, such as a random student in the halls (not from one of your classes) or someone at a shop you like to frequent. Not having the anxiety of being judged by a peer that you encounter frequently can make it a lot easier to practice meeting strangers.

 

You gotta put yourself out there!

Thx... Its just that talking to strangers feel awkward...

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You won't learn how to talk to people unless you actually do it. Communication and learning to be social are things that only come to you via practice. If you can tolerate being a bit awkward to start out, and can be okay with feeling a little embarrassed and uncomfortable, then I suggest stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to a random person.

 

It might be best to try talking to people you don't have to see often, such as a random student in the halls (not from one of your classes) or someone at a shop you like to frequent. Not having the anxiety of being judged by a peer that you encounter frequently can make it a lot easier to practice meeting strangers.

 

You gotta put yourself out there!

Thx... Its just that talking to strangers feel awkward...

The awkwardness is only in your mind, and can diminish over time by letting yourself be a little uncomfortable about it at first. Trust me, as a person who used to be very socially awkward, it goes away with practice and time. You're still young.

usZpdN9.png

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TheGTAHell97
You won't learn how to talk to people unless you actually do it. Communication and learning to be social are things that only come to you via practice. If you can tolerate being a bit awkward to start out, and can be okay with feeling a little embarrassed and uncomfortable, then I suggest stepping out of your comfort zone and talking to a random person.

 

It might be best to try talking to people you don't have to see often, such as a random student in the halls (not from one of your classes) or someone at a shop you like to frequent. Not having the anxiety of being judged by a peer that you encounter frequently can make it a lot easier to practice meeting strangers.

 

You gotta put yourself out there!

Thx... Its just that talking to strangers feel awkward...

The awkwardness is only in your mind, and can diminish over time by letting yourself be a little uncomfortable about it at first. Trust me, as a person who used to be very socially awkward, it goes away with practice and time. You're still young.

Ok... If you say so...

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How about you learn to enjoy your own company? What do you want to go around talking to people for? Most of them are terrible, just f*cking terrible. I mean whens the last time you've actually had a real conversation with someone, wasn't it terrible? Didn't you think to yourself "God damn this guy is such a vapid piece of sh*t". Embrace yourself my son, you don't need people.

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BondTrader

 

Speak to mutual friends, have them introduce you to other people and in that familiar environment, you can work on feeling comfortable. Then move this up to people at parties, unfamiliar classes, clubs or whatever. Try and appear confident and put all that is good about your character on show; be humorous, amicable, attentive, etc. Alternatively, if you're at a party you could drink a little and like chemical magic your irritating inhibitions are peeled away. Especially useful if trying to pull the ladies and you're short on confidence when sober.

This. The drinking part is true, just make sure you don't overdo it. That makes you look like a complete retard.

 

Anyways, I think I had that problem when I was in 8th grade, don't remember quite well. Nowadays I can easily talk to women and I do pretty damn well I gotta say. Ask them where they go to school to, ask about their classes, make some jokes whatever. Be nice, be confident (keep your f*cking head up when you talk to them and look them in the eyes). Listen to them and while you're listening think of your next reply. Read a lot... be it books, the news or etc. so you know what to talk about. The smarter you become, the more topics you can talk to them confidently about.

 

Keep us updated. icon14.gif

 

EDIT: What some people say about going out there is true. My best friend is a really outgoing dude and whenever we go to places he takes me under his wing, nowadays because I hung out with him a lot, I met people and I became more outgoing.

Edited by fgcarva1
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It might help to try to talk to girls while you're with a group of friends. That way, the attention isn't completely pinned on you. And if you're in school, honestly, you can talk about school just as a starter. That's what tons of people do. Complain about schoolwork or your classes or whatever. I've always found a common ground with that, aha. Other than that, you can simply ask what her plans are for the weekend or the holidays or whatever is coming up. As others have said, keep updated with the news and media. There's always something to talk about there. You'll figure it out eventually as long as you keep trying. The sooner you face it, the sooner you'll feel comfortable with it.

 

Trust me, we females may seem like terrifying creatures, but most of us aren't as judgemental as you'd think. Good luck. smile.gif

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I was in the same boat at your age, once you get out there and experience some of the world you realise other people are just that, other people. With the same sort of fears and flaws as you.

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Also, about the girl business, if you're to afraid to talk to girls you should make use of your computer and check out some of that awesome free porn that's all over the place, that should hold you over for a few years. When I was 15 I was banging splooge out about 5 times a day and I was awful at talking to girls, like comically bad, but I always had my hand at the end of the night to help me sleep.

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EscoLehGo you sound like a very sad person. No offence.

Whys that? That's honest advice for a 15 year old boy, probably the most awkward and weird time in a man's life

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TheGTAHell97

Thx for the replies... EscoLehGo Porn actually suck.. You have to pay and the free one are sh*tty... It was fun at first.. then, it was the same thing over and over again... So I got bored...

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SuperVeloce

I have the exact same problem. Occasionally I can overcome the shyness, but 99% of the time it overcomes me. I just try to swallow down the shyness and just be more open, it's very hard, but it can sometimes work. The worst part is when some little ass starts being cocky with you and you're too shy to be an ass back... oh well. whatsthat.gif

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Everything that everyone else has said id true, just go out there and talk, which for most folk is easy for the same sex.

 

If you're talking about the opposite sex then at your age it can be a little awkward as you and the people around you will have different interests, it gets easier with age as you experience more in life, both genders interests will become more and more common and you'll be able to talk about anything much easier.

 

The trick is, and it's not an easy one to pull off, is when you are talking to a member of the opposite sex then nature will kick in and you'll start thinking of them in what some folk will see as an inappropriate way, so you'll be talking to a girl and thinking "she's hot" etc. This will more than likely make you start fumbling your words or not even speak. The trick then is to try and suppress those thoughts as much as possible and just talk to them like a mate.

 

I'm not going to pretend that women are just the same as men when it comes to conversation and we shouldn't feel awkward or any of that usual TV talk show bullsh*t, cause it's simply not true men and women think in completely different ways, but learning to get over that myth of "We're all the same" means you'll talk to women easier.

 

Now time to put my cynical grumpy hat on and give you my theory...

 

Here is the key to everything, if men ever worked out how women think then the universe would end.

wZVJHXg.png

 

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Thx for the replies... EscoLehGo Porn actually suck.. You have to pay and the free one are sh*tty... It was fun at first.. then, it was the same thing over and over again... So I got bored...

Really? You must be going to some inferiorsites, try xvideos.com, they have everything there, even the really obscure sh*t that you're into but you're kind of embarrassed that you are.

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TheGTAHell97
I have the exact same problem. Occasionally I can overcome the shyness, but 99% of the time it overcomes me. I just try to swallow down the shyness and just be more open, it's very hard, but it can sometimes work. The worst part is when some little ass starts being cocky with you and you're too shy to be an ass back... oh well. whatsthat.gif

So true... Trying to swallow the shyness some times work.. But it usually takes time.. And I have to be in a group to do this.. If I'm alone with someone, I just shut my trap..

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EscoLehGo you sound like a very sad person. No offence.

Whys that? That's honest advice for a 15 year old boy, probably the most awkward and weird time in a man's life

You said people are terrible, so you seem to avoid them. Makes me think you rarely talk to people.

You even said he shouldn't care about looking for friends or people to talk to.

And said masturbating is actually better than being with a girl. At around 15 most people want to experience their first love, masturbating isn't gonna feel better than that.

 

Overall you give the impression that your life is like that.

Yl8KS.jpg
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TheGTAHell97

Yes, I sometimes do masturbate. But it was boring... I just wanted to make friends not love...

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You said people are terrible, so you seem to avoid them. Makes me think you rarely talk to people.

You even said he shouldn't care about looking for friends or people to talk to.

And said masturbating is actually better than being with a girl. At around 15 most people want to experience their first love, masturbating isn't gonna feel better than that.

 

Overall you give the impression that your life is like that.[/color]

People are terrible and I never said that masturbation was better than the real thing but for a shy 15 year old it's pretty much your best bet for right now until things work themselves out and you grow into yourself a little better. Also, at 15 boys are just trying to get laid and they're thinking of sex 24/7, I think it's the girls who are interested in "love". I don't think he should avoid people but don't put them on a pedestal, realize they're mostly assholes anyway and you really don't have to impress them.

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TheGTAHell97

 

You said people are terrible, so you seem to avoid them. Makes me think you rarely talk to people.

You even said he shouldn't care about looking for friends or people to talk to.

And said masturbating is actually better than being with a girl. At around 15 most people want to experience their first love, masturbating isn't gonna feel better than that.

 

Overall you give the impression that your life is like that.[/color]

People are terrible and I never said that masturbation was better than the real thing but for a shy 15 year old it's pretty much your best bet for right now until things work themselves out and you grow into yourself a little better. Also, at 15 boys are just trying to get laid and they're thinking of sex 24/7, I think it's the girls who are interested in "love". I don't think he should avoid people but don't put them on a pedestal, realize they're mostly assholes anyway and you really don't have to impress them.

I guess your right except for the "people are terrible" part... BTW, the site you gave me didn't work.. confused.gif

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