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na89340qv0n34b09q340

Childlore

Recommended Posts

na89340qv0n34b09q340

Remember when you were a kid and the opposite sex had cooties, or when dropping a coin in the toilet and spinning around in a dark bathroom would summon Bloody Mary?

 

What was the most ridiculous thing other children told you when you were a child? The strangest thing I've ever heard is that drinking whole milk makes you homosexual.

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Oddsock

Hahaha, that's a good one.

 

When I was little it was rumored that someone patting you on the back while you were making an ugly face would cause your face to stay that way.

 

Then there's that one about stepping on a crack in the sidewalk and breaking your mother's back as a result.

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KilnerLUFC
When I was little it was rumored that someone patting you on the back while you were making an ugly face would cause your face to stay that way.

I've always been told that it was if the wind blew on your face when you had it pulled in an ugly expression would keep it that way.

 

My mind is seriously blank at the minute, so will add some later. blush.gif

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Mr.Mister

I used to think those condom machines were like some quick, easy way to rent a condo blush.gif

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El Dildo
What was the most ridiculous thing other children told you when you were a child?

let's see...

 

- Santa Clause can visit every house in the entire world in one night.

- god knows when you're masturbating.

- girls poop out of their vagina.

- women make white milk in one breast, and chocolate milk in the other breast.

- you can spontaneously combust if you eat pop rocks and drink soda.

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trip

My baba(grandmother) used to tell us kids that if we touched another person's penis god would take ours off and slam it in a door. No lie. She haunted all of us kids with crazy sh*t.

 

edit:

had to quote these 'cause they're great. Never heard either.

 

- girls poop out of their vagina.

- women make white milk in one breast, and chocolate milk in the other breast.

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Crokey
Well Ian Rush once told me that if I drank all my milk then I would be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

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AlexGTAGamer

Father Christmas/Santa Claus was an avid one for me. I still remember when my parents said that he (Saint Nick) had a "special key" to get into our house because we never had a chimney for him to climb down.

 

I soon found out he was a lie when my parents said that he prefers to drink WKD Blue and cider than milk or egg nog. That, and the time when I saw my ma' trying to secretly place presents at the end of my bed, and the wardrobe full of wrapping paper and presents. confused.gif

 

Also the whole stepping in dog crap or having a bird crap on you was supposed to be good luck, like hell it is.

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cp1dell

I knew girls didn't have a penis, so I thought they urinated out of their butt.

I always thought one testicle was for sperm, the other was for urine.

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TheJonesy

I was told that sticking your bottom lip out for too long would attract birds to poop on it. And I thought vaginas were actually a second asshole.

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kmlwin.1996

When I was little boy, my school thought us the about the AIDS. They said "To protect the AIDS, use condom." Then I asked my mom, "What is comdom?". At the moment, she couldn't say anything, soon she lol.

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darthYENIK

Women of Asian decent have sideways vaginas.

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patounet1

My baba(grandmother) used to tell us kids that if we touched another person's penis god would take ours off and slam it in a door.

Edited by Seddo

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Robinski

That if I told anyone about what happened my parents would die.

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Korpi

One thing was that if I had my eyes crossed (long enough or so, I think), they'd someday stay that way.

turn.gif

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coin-god
That if I told anyone about what happened my parents would die.

That's a classic.

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Jack.
I used to do this thing when i was little, a sort of vibrating thing. Anyways my sister told me if i kept doing it my heart would bleed and my eyes will fall out. But now I think she was jealous I could Vibrate and she could'nt.

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Voodoo

There was a monster that lived in the trunk of my grandfather's car. If I messed with the window or door lock switches or climate controls too much, it would reach up from between the seats and pull me back into it's lair and smother me. I was scared sh*tless of that car.

 

 

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GreatGig

When I was little I remember my dad explaining what "Sod's Law" was. Law's are usually named after their founder so for a while I thought there was a man called Sod who'd thought of this law. My dad was a right git for making stuff up, too. He once told me that "sh*t" meant hello in German. I went round yelling "sh*t!" to loads of people blush.gif

 

As for folklore, I only really remember the Tooth Fairy. I never really believed in it but I always wondered how on Earth my tooth was transformed into money. My sister was terrified of her so whenever she lost a tooth it would end up under my pillow biggrin.gif

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Oddsock
That if I told anyone about what happened my parents would die.

user posted image

(image hotlinked)

 

 

Damn, there's a lot of f*cked up sh*t in here.

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Toke

I remember being a small child (perhaps five or six) and being REALLY into dinosaurs. Well a friend of mine convinced me that the Iguanadon(see below) used its spiked thumb gouge out its opponents eyes then would eat them and spit them out, at which point the eyes would explode. suicidal.gif

user posted image

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Chunk
Well Ian Rush once told me that if I drank all my milk then I would be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they?

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Crokey
Well Ian Rush once told me that if I drank all my milk then I would be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they?

Exactly.

 

I knew someone would get it.

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El Dildo
I used to do this thing when i was little, a sort of vibrating thing. Anyways my sister told me if i kept doing it my heart would bleed and my eyes will fall out. But now I think she was jealous I could Vibrate and she could'nt.

lol, what the f*ck are you talking about??

 

vibrate?

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vertical limit

Swallowing gum messes up my intestines.

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Jack.
I used to do this thing when i was little, a sort of vibrating thing. Anyways my sister told me if i kept doing it my heart would bleed and my eyes will fall out. But now I think she was jealous I could Vibrate and she could'nt.

lol, what the f*ck are you talking about??

 

vibrate?

Damn right Vibrate monocle.gif It's like shivvering but more like vibrating. biggrin.gif

 

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Sneakerhead.

Watching porn could make you go blind.

 

Santa Clause would put coal in my stocking if I acted bad.

 

Also, if you Kill a lady bug, a million of them will kill you.

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na89340qv0n34b09q340
I used to do this thing when i was little, a sort of vibrating thing. Anyways my sister told me if i kept doing it my heart would bleed and my eyes will fall out. But now I think she was jealous I could Vibrate and she could'nt.

lol, what the f*ck are you talking about??

 

vibrate?

If you clench up your upper body, face, and neck one of two things can happen. You'll either screw your shoulder up, or your head will start to vibrate. I assume this is what he's talking about.

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.Trooper.

I just vibrated my head. The things you learn on this forum.

orly.gif

 

I have no idea why, I used to believe that Superman protected me from monsters when I went for a piss.... dontgetit.gif

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GTA_stu

I used to be such a gullible idiot when I was little. There was this older girl called Alex and she used to take advantage of me, no not in that way. One time she told me a robber had stolen my toilet, and I was desperate for a poo so I ended up doing it in an allyway even though my house was about 50m away.

 

To get me to eat food I didn't want to eat, my family would play a trick on me. They'd say "Stuart, this bit of chicken/tomato/lettuce (or whatever the hell they wanted me to eat) has your name on it, and if you eat it your name will appear in front of you in lights." So I'd eat it, but of course nothing appeared. Turns out only they could see it, and they'd point at it and say "wow! look it's there!" and I believed them, they betrayed my trust!

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