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El Dildo

"reboot" for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...

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The movie will be directed by the director of the godaful sequel to that godawful clash of the titans reboot film. Now Michael Bay will probably get most the hate but hes made 2 good movies: The Rock and Pain and Gain. This has the worst miscasting ever, Knoxville as leonardo when he would be better as an michaelangleo and an white guy as shredder along with obviously megan fox as april o neil.

I liked bad boys 1&2.

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Liked it until the Skrillex butchery of Reptile's theme from MK came on. Can't stand it. Should have used this;





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i choose to remain hopeful that this won't completely suck balls

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(Is this the first post since this movie came out?)



I feel so very very very guilty for saying I didn't hate this.

I was initially planning to sh*t on Transformers 4 with a few friends, but since they didn't show up.. I saw this on my own.

And it actually wasn't as bad as I expected. Maybe if I had gone in expecting a revival of the TMNT, I would have hated it... But I actually kinda liked it.

The turtles didn't feel as ugly on screen, and I had really missed some Michaelangelo.

I'm definitely in the minority here when I say that ...Well, this movie wasn't bad. I liked the characters. The turtles were nice. Shredder was an ominous badass.

Although, I would have liked this movie more if Megan Fox didn't ...Well ...If she didn't


If Megan f*cking Fox didn't save the f*cking day after an hour of badass f*cking turtles kicking ass. Seriously. Her kicking Shredder would have done NOTHING to him. Like a goddamn fly trying to push down a wall.



Again, probably the minority here but ...The scene where Michaelangelo popped out singing "I can't see me lovin nobody but you" and the build up to it (Him getting stuffed in the van while trying to sing it and it being muffled in the background) seemed really ..Fun. It was very well choreographed.

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There's a few things in the movie that make me angry, but overall it was entertaining. It sucked a lot less than what I've expected.



Why is Shredder a f*cking transformer? Why did Splinter learn martial arts from a book?


Stop trying to make every f*cking fiction cartoon into some pseudo-realistic bullsh*t.



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Watched it the other day, it kept me entertained. Though growing up enjoying TNMT I was more than a little upset with the design of the turtles and with some of the voice actors. They looked and sounded more like stereotypical ex-convicts than teenage mutant turtles, especially Raphael.

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Saw it, lots of animated stuff, but bad story and too short for a 'first' movie of a set (spiderman's lenght is better)


So i agree with the IMDB score, a small 6.

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Yes. stereotypical cartoon "heavy guys" circa 1930-50s, complete with facial scarring. Think it was because they didn't have snouts. This (1) looks infinitely better and much more true to character imo.



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This movie would have been a complete joke had they gone with these:




On the left side, we see our generic template buck-nude turtle. A fan favorite indeed.

And the three turtles on the top right of the picture.

Starting from the left, we have our beloved Submachine gun wielding turtle, using his modern ninja training of "Shoot the f*ck out of everyone".

To the right of that is the Grim Reaper turtle, probably to service the fans who would see this movie on Halloween. Spooky.

And to the far right, we have the motherf*cking cloverfield monster.

As to the six pack of turtles on the bottom right.

We first have our Leonardo wearing his al qaida outfit.

To the right of that, we have Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell. I believe they brought him back due to Tom Clancy's death.

And then C, we have Donatello... Who's a f*cking dumbass and doesn't know that it's called a bo staff. (Even the rapper who did the credits song for this movie knew... And rappers rent brains on weekends).

And for D, we have Raphael. His design makes it apparent why they didn't give Batman pointy ears in BvS ...They gave the Batears to Raphael.

Then E ...We have the new addition to the turtles family, introduced in 2001... Who's just the generic template with a cheese grater on his chest.

And the last one ...I'm out of jokes. I can't do this anymore. These are the ugliest things I'v ever seen in my life.

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