Jump to content

The Angel of Death (Poem)


Recommended Posts



The Angel of Death


I wake up in the mourning with a tear in my eye.


Wondering what would've happened if I were to die.


My hands are soiled, stained with blood of the innocent.


I pick up a weapon when I know I shouldn't.


As I force my body to get up from bed.


I look in the mirror and see a man with a heart that is dead.


I look over my shoulders 24/7.


Knowing if my life ended, I'm not going to Heaven.


When it's time for a job to be done.


I'm always ready but my heart beats like a drum.


Once I see the next person who's life I have to end.


I pull the trigger but happiness is not what this tragedy sends.


So I ask myself, "who am I?" in an empty breath.


I'm an angel, an angel of death.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Fairly good overall - some of the scanning is a little off-beat, I guess that depends on how you want to deliver th poem.


The imagery and use of language are very good though; don't take my first sentence too negatively!


If I was going to be picky about grammar I'd suggest reworking the line that says "Wondering what would've happened if I were to die.", there's a mix of tenses in there.


Still, pretty good, I'd give it 8/10 for how it hangs together overall!!!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

A very tight knit poem. You can really feel the poet's disgust at himself yet he must toil onwards with this dirty work. It flowed together quite well. I can just envision a cold blooded killer, sniper rifle briefcase in hand on a balcony writing this.


A few words were crammed in. Poems usually consist of two syllabic words. Longer ones than that usually make the poem seem like a block. Not a bad piece, not a bad piece at all.


cookie.gif Have a cookie.

"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • 1 User Currently Viewing
    0 members, 0 Anonymous, 1 Guest

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using GTAForums.com, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.