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GTA-King

Grand Theft Auto V

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Gtaghost22

Guys stop bashing the OP, his story is AMAZING! and to be honest i dont think writing a very good story like this means he has no life! He could be into writing you know... So please STFU and leave him alone

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flnyla

Give Rockstar their script back please....

 

10/10

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waitin4gta

Again very well made my friend. Much better detail and you put gangs in! Awesome man, but again I hope that the old man is not our lead character biggrin.gif

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HydraulicWaRiOr

 

@HydraulicWaRiOr: That's ironic, because you bash other people's opinion in favor of your own. You're one of the most close-minded people on this site. Like I said before, how about you make some effort in telling the story of your character. By the way, did you even read the story? I'm guessing you didn't. I included your character in it, and I gave him an important role. In my story his name is Terrance "T-Ray" Rodriguez.

 

Of course I do, that's how a debate works. You aren't supposed to accept any of the opposition's opininons as a possibility, especially when you find it to be so prepostorous, such as your's and many other's opinions around here.

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Triple Vacuum Seal

Read the entire thing and then re-watched the trailer.....

user posted image

NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING

 

*Love the Breaking Bad vibe as well.

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cp1dell
@HydraulicWaRiOr: That's ironic, because you bash other people's opinion in favor of your own. You're one of the most close-minded people on this site. Like I said before, how about you make some effort in telling the story of your character. By the way, did you even read the story? I'm guessing you didn't. I included your character in it, and I gave him an important role. In my story his name is Terrance "T-Ray" Rodriguez.

 

Of course I do, that's how a debate works. You aren't supposed to accept any of the opposition's opininons as a possibility, especially when you find it to be so prepostorous, such as your's and many other's opinions around here.

 

[supreme]

What you're doing is blindly defending someone. You're just ignorant.

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AceRay

Haters gonna hate.

 

Amazing work King, see you put a lot of effort into this icon14.gif

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GTA-King

 

@HydraulicWaRiOr: That's ironic, because you bash other people's opinion in favor of your own. You're one of the most close-minded people on this site. Like I said before, how about you make some effort in telling the story of your character. By the way, did you even read the story? I'm guessing you didn't. I included your character in it, and I gave him an important role. In my story his name is Terrance "T-Ray" Rodriguez.

 

Of course I do, that's how a debate works. You aren't supposed to accept any of the opposition's opininons as a possibility, especially when you find it to be so prepostorous, such as your's and many other's opinions around here.

 

[supreme]

And that is your opinion, and I respect that. But you could express it in a more respectable manner. That's the only problem I have with you. You bash other people's opinions, and shove your own down their throats. I believe Hitler did that, and look what happened to him. lol.

 

I really would like to hear the story of the character your rooting for, because I am more of a two-sided person and would love to read it, as opposed to you being single-minded and only favoring your own opinion.

 

A debate will go on forever if you don't see it from both sides. That's just how it works.

 

@flnyla: Wow, thank you! It makes me happy to know you think this could be the actual V story.

 

@waitin4gta: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the gangs. They are going to play a big part in my story. And I respect your opinion. MY version of Albert De Silva is 44 years old, so he's not that much older than Johnny Klebitz. I'm hoping my version of Albert will make people think twice about his age. 44 is not that old.

 

@canttakemyid: Thanks man! I knew you would enjoy it, being a huge Breaking Bad fan like me. Expect alot more references to that show in my story! Especially when Albert starts working for the Cartel.

Edited by GTA-King

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HydraulicWaRiOr
@HydraulicWaRiOr: That's ironic, because you bash other people's opinion in favor of your own. You're one of the most close-minded people on this site. Like I said before, how about you make some effort in telling the story of your character. By the way, did you even read the story? I'm guessing you didn't. I included your character in it, and I gave him an important role. In my story his name is Terrance "T-Ray" Rodriguez.

 

Of course I do, that's how a debate works. You aren't supposed to accept any of the opposition's opininons as a possibility, especially when you find it to be so prepostorous, such as your's and many other's opinions around here.

What you're doing is blindly defending someone. You're just ignorant.

And that's just everyone's response who can't come up with a valid opinion, one of humanity's unalienable rights happens to be freedom of expression, and if that involves thinking that some one has no life and expressing it in a simple way, then so be it, you have to respect that, no matter how "immature" someone is. And this conversation ended when I stated the "problem" with you just as you stated the "problem" with the forum. Im talking to king now, you can leave.

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cp1dell
@HydraulicWaRiOr: That's ironic, because you bash other people's opinion in favor of your own. You're one of the most close-minded people on this site. Like I said before, how about you make some effort in telling the story of your character. By the way, did you even read the story? I'm guessing you didn't. I included your character in it, and I gave him an important role. In my story his name is Terrance "T-Ray" Rodriguez.

 

Of course I do, that's how a debate works. You aren't supposed to accept any of the opposition's opininons as a possibility, especially when you find it to be so prepostorous, such as your's and many other's opinions around here.

 

[supreme]

What you're doing is blindly defending someone. You're just ignorant.

And that's just everyone's response who can't come up with a valid opinion, one of humanity's unalienable rights happens to be freedom of expression, and if that involves thinking that some one has no life and expressing it in a simple way, then so be it, you have to respect that, no matter how "immature" someone is. And this conversation ended when I stated the "problem" with you just as you stated the "problem" with the forum. Im talking to king now, you can leave.

 

[supreme]

No I don't. It's my opinion!

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Triple Vacuum Seal

 

And that's just everyone's response who can't come up with a valid opinion, one of humanity's unalienable rights happens to be freedom of expression, and if that involves thinking that some one has no life and expressing it in a simple way, then so be it, you have to respect that, no matter how "immature" someone is. And this conversation ended when I stated the "problem" with you just as you stated the "problem" with the forum. Im talking to king now, you can leave.

 

[supreme]

Stop turning this into a f*cking argument thread. When are you going to get your thumb out of your ass and realize that your're not the only opinion-bearing member on this thread?

 

*and stop giving Supreme a bad name.

Edited by canttakemyid

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GTA-King

Guys, I implore you to just ignore Hydraulic. Arguing with him will just go on forever, so please just ignore him. I worked hard on this story, and it would sadden me to see it locked. I just want to keep the hype going in some way, which is why I wrote this in the first place.

 

OT: Expect Act II: The Heist later in the week!

Edited by GTA-King

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The Made Man

Nice story.

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Racecarlock

Wow. Where do you come up with this stuff? It's like reading a well written novel. Props, man.

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cp1dell

I like how it fits in with the trailer. Really adds more visualization to it.

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GTA-King

@The Made Man: Thanks man! Much appreciated!

 

@Racecarlock: Thank you for the wonderful compliment. Writing is one of my passions, so I was dying to get this story out there. I know it's not the official V story. But with the information we have so far, this is what I came up with. Once we learn the true story, I won't be mad in any way because I know R* won't disappoint. I think one of the reasons my story is appealing because it is essentially a fan fiction, but before the game actually comes out. So it gets people thinking, thus creating hype. That is my goal here.

 

@cp1dell: Yep, that's what I was going for. I studied the trailer very closely and added stuff from it into my story. Act II is going to focus on the build up to the jewelry store robbery, the actual robbery, and the aftermath. So expect more references from the trailer to be in it, including the actual dialogue from the trailer being put into context.

 

 

How many people noticed the references to the trailer in the story? I was hoping to make them somewhat obvious, and sorta like "easter eggs."

Edited by GTA-King

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TinTinn

I read a little bit of it, it's nice. Someone else commented saying 'It doesn't grab the viewers attention', which is really doesn't, but that's not bad and considering you've only started, I'd say it's a good start.

 

icon14.gif

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El Oso Blanco

Can't wait for part 2 man! Great job. Although I'm glad it ended when it did because I really need sleep. biggrin.gif

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GTA-King

 

I read a little bit of it, it's nice. Someone else commented saying 'It doesn't grab the viewers attention', which is really doesn't, but that's not bad and considering you've only started, I'd say it's a good start.

 

icon14.gif

lol, well if you didn't read more than a little bit of it, I would't expect it to grab your attention. I respect your opinion though. smile.gif

 

 

PS. updated the cars in my story so they matched up with the Vehicle Database. Now the characters match what they were driving in trailer, most noticeably Albert with his blue Sentinel and T-Ray with his red Super GT.

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TinTinn
It's good you like to here our opinion. All I can say that it seems the cut scenes last a long time, but it is written out as a movie script so things change; there is a fine difference between movie script and game script.

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GTA-King

Yeah, it would have been too hard to write this out as a game script, because I would have to include gameplay as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much going with a movie script style.

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TinTinn

 

Yeah, it would have been too hard to write this out as a game script, because I would have to include gameplay as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much going with a movie script style.

See, that's the thing. Your script won't be the 'exact' same as what it is going to happen but you give a pretty well written, as close you can get, kind of script. So your doing a good job.

 

smile.gif

 

Edit/ If I can also add that Albert seems too nice to his family. I think after the years of living in LS, and losing his job and so on, he should become more aggressive.

 

 

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GTA-King
Yeah, it would have been too hard to write this out as a game script, because I would have to include gameplay as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much going with a movie script style.

See, that's the thing. Your script won't be the 'exact' same as what it is going to happen but you give a pretty well written, as close you can get, kind of script. So your doing a good job.

 

smile.gif

 

Edit/ If I can also add that Albert seems too nice to his family. I think after the years of living in LS, and losing his job and so on, he should become more aggressive.

Thank you! smile.gif

 

Oh trust me, once Albert is dragged deeper into the criminal underworld, expect alot of mood changes from him. And all I can say about his relationship with his family... expect it to deteriorate as the story goes on. icon14.gif

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TinTinn
Yeah, it would have been too hard to write this out as a game script, because I would have to include gameplay as well. So yeah, I'm pretty much going with a movie script style.

See, that's the thing. Your script won't be the 'exact' same as what it is going to happen but you give a pretty well written, as close you can get, kind of script. So your doing a good job.

 

smile.gif

 

Edit/ If I can also add that Albert seems too nice to his family. I think after the years of living in LS, and losing his job and so on, he should become more aggressive.

Thank you! smile.gif

 

Oh trust me, once Albert is dragged deeper into the criminal underworld, expect alot of mood changes from him. And all I can say about his relationship with his family... expect it to deteriorate as the story goes on. icon14.gif

Thank goodness, I hate all this love.

 

biggrin.gif

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GTA-King

I'm going to be rather busy tomorrow, so I'm thinking I'll starting writing Act II: The Heist on wednesday and have it finished by the weekend.

 

TEASER: One of the main characters is going to die. devil.gif

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EscoLehGo

Cool story for what it's worth, but as someone else mentioned I'm still hoping the old guy isn't the protagonist. The lovey dovey stuff was a little much but I can see this had a lot of influence from Breaking Bad and I think I know where you're going with that. The protagonists interaction with the gang and the back story for the string of robberies were well done and believable. So like I said, for a forum story based solely of the one trailer we have it's pretty good. Still not excited to play a guy like that though lol

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GTA-King
Cool story for what it's worth, but as someone else mentioned I'm still hoping the old guy isn't the protagonist. The lovey dovey stuff was a little much but I can see this had a lot of influence from Breaking Bad and I think I know where you're going with that. The protagonists interaction with the gang and the back story for the string of robberies were well done and believable. So like I said, for a forum story based solely of the one trailer we have it's pretty good. Still not excited to play a guy like that though lol

Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate your opinions. icon14.gif

 

This is a fine example of constructive criticism, Hydraulic.

 

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dannyz

Great Story. I don't know why everyone would hate playing as an older Character? I think it would be Great to start out as a Boss/person who know the Criminal World to a young little street punk. I have a Question, in your story is the guy driving the Red Car and the guy running from the cops the same person? I just think that the guy running from the cops "T-Ray" has Tattoo's and the guy in the red car does not. I did like how you mention little things from the Trailer like the guy with the for sale sign and the drug dealer. Keep it up.

 

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GTA-King

 

Great Story. I don't know why everyone would hate playing as an older Character? I think it would be Great to start out as a Boss/person who know the Criminal World to a young little street punk. I have a Question, in your story is the guy driving the Red Car and the guy running from the cops the same person? I just think that the guy running from the cops "T-Ray" has Tattoo's and the guy in the red car does not. I did like how you mention little things from the Trailer like the guy with the for sale sign and the drug dealer. Keep it up.

Thanks! One of my goals here is to show how an older protagonist would be awesome. He's only 44, which isn't that old at all in my opinion. He does have a little bit of grey hair, but so did Robert De Niro in Heat, but look how athletic HE is...

 

 

 

And to answer your question yes, they are the same person. The red Super GT in the trailer belongs to T-Ray. In Act II, I am going to include the scenes where he's running from the cops. That is actually going to play a big part as well.

 

PS. Fixed a few grammar errors in Act I, and jotted down some snippets in Microsoft Word that I am going to use to Act II. I know how I want it to be, so it's off to a good start. It's going to be about the lead up to the jewelry heist, then the heist, then the aftermath of the heist. Expect ALOT of action. Act I was developing the characters, so now it's time for some action!

Edited by GTA-King

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