Nationstates "GTA Forums" Regional Discussion

[Prometheus]

Mr. Shatner, you said earlier "Vote for Shaffey, and see the power flow down to you". However it seems that you're willing to run a dictatorship. As clearly stated in your nation's page...

 

 

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, pro-business government stops and the rest of society begins....

...Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68%.

...the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people'...

...government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest.

 

Not to mention,

 

 

Top %10 of the world for Most Corrupt Government

Top %10 of the world for Fattest Citizens

 

Do you how embarrassing it is, to be led by a nation in the Top %10 of the world for fattest citizens? and no that's not a rhetorical question.

Also, can you please share your plans - in detail - on how to rebuild our bridge to the World Assembly again, as you stated?

[Greenline]

 

Official Reply from King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) to a Question from the Press

 

Justice He bids me do, as He will judge me

 

path and a river that tends to the needs of our nations. The delegate must feed the nations with hope, peace and help them thrive. Just as a river helps a forest thrive. Just as a path or a road helps settlements and cities thrive. But I can assure you, it will not be a dictatorship, as I was elected and know what is good for this region, and that is definitely not a dictator. It will not be oppressed or neglected, as this is one of the core principles of my plan as delegate. If the nations of this region are prejudiced enough to judge a book by its cover, and through doing that, block their access to a brighter and more active future, then so be it. But, we doubt it, and we hope that we are right in believing that the nations of this region know what is best for them. And elect accordingly.

 

The weight of my citizens plays no role in any of this. It is a personal choice, the way they choose to live. We have already created institutions to fight against obesity as we are fully aware of the danger it poses to the health of Shaffeyans.

 

What is a delegate? The delegate is the bridge of a region to the world assembly, the representative, the face of a region. If this representative is sleeping, then the region will be seen as a region of nations unaware of their surroundings. If this representative is passive and negligent, then the region will be asleep. This is exactly what has been happening recently. In short, Shaffey is 'stepping up'.

 

As I have stated before in this announcement, you is the keyword in Shaffey's plans. You are the pillars keeping our bridge, and our region up. And it is the delegate's job to remove this weight from the shoulders of all nations in our region, and hear their voices, listen to what they need, and do what it can. It is the delegate's job to show our region as one that is awake and knows what a delegate's true job is, and chooses its delegates accordingly. It is the delegate's job to tend to each and every one of your needs. Sadly, we seem to have forgotten what we must expect from our delegate. We must make requests, make demands, that is what a delegate is. Not a name hiding in fear.

 

It is your right to have a delegate that tends to your needs. Practice that right by choosing Shaffey.

King Shaffey the Great (HSSU),

Shaffey for GTA Forums.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Greenline

[Prometheus]

But I can assure you, it will not be a dictatorship, as I was elected and know what is good for this region, and that is definitely not a dictator.

What if you're willing to turn into one after being elected?

 

Also please, you decide everything to your nation. There's no reason to ignore the first question. Being in the Top %10 of the world for Fattest Citizens (and Most Corrupt Government) clearly states that you're not qualified for being a delegate. You obviously made them fat so as not to be physically able to protest. That's dictatorship right there. What is your response on that accusation?

[Greenline]

 

Official Reply from Casellia Inventius to Questions from the Press

 

Justice He bids me do, as He will judge me

 

 

My response to your accusation is simple. Visit Shaffey. There are institutions and posters all over the country, from Utsoort to Persis. Restaurants have strict regulations regarding the nutritional value of the food served in this nation. Again, it is simply offensive that one accuses Shaffey of physically impairing its citizens, especially after all the efforts the King (HSSU) himself has put into changing the direction this nation is going with many reforms. All promises have been held. And just like the citizens of Shaffey protested after the Forsworn regime came into power in 1946. They will protest if they are not pleased.

 

This dynasty has been around for a very long time. Many traditions are beginning to show their age, and trust me when I say to you, King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) is polishing this nation and his own dynasty to assure that it will not age to an unbearable amount.

 

Please, keep the baseless accusations to a minimum and focus on the matter at hand, the delegateship. We are hoping that the press and representatives from all nations can keep the ad hominem to a minimum and make sure to stay with the topic at hand. Further questions unrelated to the campaign will be answered by our Foreign Minister and will be treated as normal questions that have always arrived in the inbox of the Foreign Minister. Thank you.

 

Please read this announcement before asking any further questions to make sure you are fully updated.

 

Do what is right, let us look at a new path, let us look at a new delegate. Choose Shaffey, and see new horizons.

Casellia Inventius,

Shaffey for GTA Forums.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Greenline

[Otter]

The Archipelago is pleased to see the return of our founder and must admit that this rather deflates the sails of our push to see a new delegate.

 

We would, however, care to express our concern about the state of our region. When this inevitably happens again, we need to be active, prepared, and allied with the right sort of friends.

 

We are more than capable of making this happen, and we urge all nations who wish to see this become reality to endorse the Otter Archipelago.

 

We can not, in good faith, support our current delegate until changes are made. We must also demand that our Founding nation lock out our delagte from the regional controls until this vote of no confidence is either acted upon or withdrawn.

 

- The Otterian Senate

 

[Oddsock]

 

 

In a vote called by the Head of Government, Lenka Gjuricova, after it was publicly suggested by the Head of State, President Vaclav Holub, the Parliament came together and voiced government opinion on the regional battle for the World Assembly delegate seat. When tallied, the Parliament came to a conclusion that was 40% in favor of the Meritocratic Republic of Tulija remaining the WA Delegate and 60% voting a neutral position suggesting that no present power within the region was favored for the position.

 

Those who spoke prior to the vote taking place espoused a number of different positions, ranging from full support of Tulija to the suggestion of other powers like the Otter Archipelago to the withdrawal from the entire subject. No members suggested voting for the Kingdom of Shaffey or the Federal Republic of Okurka.

 

"We have made it the business of our nation to mind its own," explained MP Jan Modry. "Our people have always been happy to be a part of peace and stability within the region, but authority over other nations is not an interest for us. We will vote for a delegate, but we shall never put in for ourselves. At the present moment, the Parliament is unanimously against the election of the Kingdom of Shaffey for the position, even if we have differing opinions about who should be the delegate."

[El Zilcho]

Attempts to block us from any sort of regional power are seen as direct dissent - we do not intend to expel anyone, nor ban any free speech on the matter of delegateship. We do maintain, however, that any of this sort of aggressive blame being bundled on the delegateship is noted as unfair. Not only does the role of the delegate, well balanced with checks, mean that no action of powers could revitalise an inherently (for the moment) sleepy community; it also means that the Archipelago would not have any practical solutions either. It is a political ploy, and one of questionable merit.

 

Our attention should be toward concerted efforts to work together, or even inter-regionally, and foster some sort of interesting activity to reinvigorate ourselves. In fighting and petty calls for regime change make little change - remember, the Archipelago presided over a great period of inactivity of its own, lapsing on duties to the point that it permanently lost it's mantle. Why make the same mistake again - at least we've been voting in everyone's best interest during the interim.

[Otter]

How quickly the desire for power rears its shameful head. The fact remains that we have a vote of no confidence against Tujila's appointment from at least two members of the region, and now that we have a founder to shelter us, there is no need to leave the keys in your hands.

 

I needn't remind the region that our time in office was not marked by inactivity - in fact, we actively engaged the community in WA affairs. We lost the position because of backroom, cloak and dagger deals of compromised integrity, that Tujila has, recently, admitted to.

 

So why GTAF should expect anything better from Tujila in the future is a mystery. Change must happen in order to stay healthy.

 

Endorse the Archipelago, in the name of freedom, adventure, and enterprise.

 

- Charisma Nettlebaum

regained feeling in my left hand!

 

[Greenline]

 

Shaffey, Tulija or The Archipelago?

 

Justice He bids me do, as He will judge me

 

read this announcement

 

We have already cleared up why you should endorse Shaffey, but we'd like to go into detail on why one should endorse Shaffey when viewing the other competitors.

 

Let us start with Tulija, our current delegate. The Tulijan delegacy was started with treachery, and heavily relied on Shaffey to assure its success. Shaffey believed that, although these were not the best circumstances for a new delegate to rise to power, Tulija was holding a key that could bring this region success. Shaffey believed that Tulija could accomplish what Shaffey is promising to accomplish today. Shaffey was hoping for Tulija to do the right thing upon becoming delegate. But, there was nothing. No reforms. No changes. Simply, nothing. Again, a delegate barricaded itself behind its position and decided to only return when their delegacy was threatened and their position challenged.

 

That is why we speak against negligence.

 

The next nation is The Otter Archipelago. A nation that handled its position so lightly, that considered it to be so petty, that it slipped through its fingers. We sometimes wonder if Mr. Nettlebaum himself was embarrassed with what had happened. Nettlebaum's position was taken away from him, there is not much more to say about this. Even King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) himself turned red when asked to put himself in Nettlebaum's shoes.

 

The third option, a new option, is Shaffey. We will not deny how stained the fabric of Shaffey's past is, but this has all changed. The two events that brought this nation to its knees, The K9K9 Tragedy and Shaffeygate, are just as disgusting to the Shaffeyan Government and to King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) as they are to the rest of the region. And Shaffey has made reforms a priority. Shaffey believes that one cannot and may not judge a book by its cover, and as the great Shaffeyan poet Huirzni said, 1500 years ago:

 

"I dreamt of wine and bread and cheese,

"But I do not say they were good."

 

"They could have tasted like roaches and fleas,

"Even those I will not judge."

 

"For what has not been tasted, Huirzni sees,

"Cannot be judged for good."

 

Huirzni is stating that even though he dreamt of wine, bread and cheese, he dare not judge their taste. Saying that what has been eaten in a dream could have tasted like roaches and flees. He then catches himself in an hypocritical situation, for he had not eaten roaches or fleas either, he says that even those things he cannot judge. And in the end, in typical Huirzni fashion, he concludes with an observation (Huirzni sees), saying that only things that have been experienced can be judged.

 

The same counts for the Shaffeyan delegateship, one must taste it and experience it. Taste and experience new horizons. Experience new power and liberties. Every voice will be heard.

 

No nation in the history of GTA Forums has been as prepared as Shaffey has been for delegateship. This is already evident in the size of this campaign. Each question has been and will be dissected and answered thoroughly. In the coming days, me and the King (HSSU) will reveal what this nation has in store for our great region if we are elected.

 

Endorse Shaffey and be heard. Endorse Shaffey and see this region reach new horizons. We urge you to do the right thing. For yourself, and for this great region.

Casellia Inventius,

Shaffey for GTA Forums.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Greenline

[El Zilcho]

But the matter, more at the heart of this than who fronts it, is what reforms? There is no power (OOC: there isn't actually anything anyone can do within the game mechanics) vested in the delegate that can revitalise anything. Whether it be the inadequacy of the Archipelago, or the violence of Shaffey, these reforms would be non-existent. Unless someone can suggest something concrete, Tulija acquiesced to the most sizeable reform as of yet - the Cabinet, recommended by Shaffey, but ultimately as wholly responsible for inactivity as the Delegate supposedly was.

 

The only call for revocation of powers illegitimately and through higher authority has been from the Archipelago, despite no concrete plans of action (Shaffey can at least be seen to be prepared and outwardly have an ideology - Otterian's seem to lust only for power). It smacks of empty calls for reinstation of the title which the Archipelago so easily threw asunder - does pride still chaff the sides of Nettlebaum so?

Edited September 20, 2012 by El Zilcho

[Otter]

 

Tulija acquiesced to the most sizeable reform as of yet - the Cabinet

Under extreme duress, if we must call a spade a spade, and with extreme reluctance to treat the wishes of the cabinet as policy. The Archipelago's suggestion to create a cabinet was obviously seen as a threat to Tujila's position and was a bickering battle every step of the way.

 

It is not pride, nor lust for power that compels us. It is to set right the floundering ship that our region has become under Tujila's tenure. And dear lord, we do not wish to be under the thumb of Shaffey. I would hope the entire region can recognize that.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Otter

[El Zilcho]

Tulija acquiesced to the most sizeable reform as of yet - the Cabinet

Under extreme duress, if we must call a spade a spade, and with extreme reluctance to treat the wishes of the cabinet as policy. The Archipelago's suggestion to create a cabinet was obviously seen as a threat to Tujila's position and was a bickering battle every step of the way.

Indeed, at the time, it was most certainly opposed as superfluous. Time has told this was the case - it was formed but soon enough in silence. But the Cabinet members were responsible for their own activity; how would either of you recommend increasing activity? You still haven't addressed any sort of plan, other than insist that you're better. Which we've seen is far from the truth. Once more, at the very least, Shaffey can attest to never holding the title. You did, and with less cooperation and interest than we did during the height of activity.

 

Our voting record attests to consulting with all nations on the NS board. This democratic move was a new addition, one which wasn't considered by the Archipelago. Even now, under quarrelsome attack, we are conducting business as usual in this new found activity, observing the patterns of member votes and acting accordingly. Neither of you can claim any of this sort of legitimacy in office.

[Prometheus]

People, please. If there's a nation to be elected, it's the Kingdom of Chrysothemis. We are in the top %10 of the world for the most politically free nations and I guess that's it. We have nothing else.

[Otter]

I do believe you need to be a member of the WA first.

 

Welcome back!

[GTA_stu]

OOC: Anyone fancy giving me the password pretty please, seems I, err, missplaced it.

[Tyler]

Edited September 21, 2012 by Tyler

[GTA_stu]

 

 

Amsterdon resurgent after month of turbulence.

 

 

 

-A nation continues to mourn after the death of it's beloved and noble Supreme Leader. His name "Yohan Orange Magellan Boutros Boutros Ghali Fassbender III" will never be forgotten.

-His son, John, continues to lead the Federation with his unwavering wisdom, intelligence, judgement and will.

 

 

 

It was the 26th August when the Supreme Leader was assassinated, with the assassin being caught and publicly executed that same night. Such was the public outpouring and grief at the sadness of the Supreme Leader's sudden death, that the nation descended into chaos. The grief was so strong that the public across the country found themselves unable to continue to work. Power stations ceased to function and a nationwide blackout occurred with only small sections of the capital city remaining with power, plunging the Federation into a state of of virtual anarchy. Eventually on the 17th September power was restored fully throughout the nation, and the army swiftly brought order back. A sense of normality has returned with production now back to pre-blackout levels.

 

The Supreme Leader's body lies in state at his palace, his funeral will be held on the 26th to mark 1 month after his death and his body will be placed in the national mausoleum. His son, who's official title is yet to be announced, will be sworn in officially 1 week after the Supreme Leader's funeral and...

 

------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

Frankie krane: Welcome back listeners, now we have some important information to share with you regarding our "glorious" Supreme Leader and his death. Word has it they never really caught the actual assassin, and she is still at large after escaping the country. That's right, it was a she. In one of the depraved bastard's sordid late night orgies he requested an authentic surra de bunda, and a Brazilian middle aged woman was flown in to perform the act for him. But instead of a pleasurable rambunctious dance, the femme fatale shot him point blank with a gun she managed to smuggle in through unknown methods.

 

And in even more revelatory news, it appears it may have been his own son who orchestrated the whole thing, in his insatiable lust for power. He convinced the woman that he could get her access to her long lost love, who is said to go by the name of "Claude". He then used his connections to smuggle her out of the country and the executed "assassin" was actually a fellow dissenter like us.

 

Nelson Krane: My brother there with yet more damning news of the cancerous regime. We urge you to stay strong, for we will prevail in toppling this corrupt government and bringing freedom to this great nation. Our operation may be small, but we know that there are millions of others out there who share our convictions, and of course we have the international community who although have let us down so far and sat idly by whilst our people are oppressed and murdered, we can still hope they will come to our rescue and liberate us.

 

In further developments... Hey what was tha...

 

*BANG*

 

Frankie krane... Oh no, they found us!

 

Unkown voices: GET ON THE FLOOR! GET ON THE FLOOR!

 

Nelson Krane: You'll never Silence us!

 

Uknown voice: Just shoot him, we only need to take one alive.

 

*Gun shots*

 

Frankie Krane: Nooooo. Aaaargh aaaaaargh please, no, no, aaaaaaargh! God nooo!

 

*inaudible noises*

 

Unknown voice: shut that thing off

 

Edited September 21, 2012 by GTA_stu

[Greenline]

 

3 Reasons Endorsing Shaffey is the Right Thing to Do.

 

the first announcement is located here and the second announcement here.

 

It has been an amazing 3 days, showing this great region what Shaffey has been planning. And now, we are here to unveil 3 of Shaffey's plans, to be enacted if Shaffey is elected.

 

1. Records and Rosters:

 

Our current Roster has fallen into despair, and not for a short amount of time either. This is not something King Shaffey (HSSU) or I can blame on Tulija or Otter. As it predates their delegateship by a long amount of time. But, while there is no ex- or current delegate to blame, there is a solution to this problem. Shaffey will personally take up updating the roster with new nations, national anthems, national mottos etc. and also by striking through nations that have fallen into anarchy. Shaffey believes that although this is a simple task, it has not been taken care of before, and it feels that it is finally time to do so. A small job, that may prove useful.

 

2. WA Proposals and Resolutions:

 

Now, to a matter higher up on the political importance scale. Shaffey is planning to keep the region updated with all new proposals, and request a regional voting to be done before they are voted for. After a proposal passes the initial stage, and becomes a resolution, Shaffey will give a short summary of what the resolution is trying to achieve, and after this summary there will be an opinion section that states the opinion of either the Foreign Minister of The Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey (For the General Assembly) or the Minister of Security (For the Security Council). After the region votes, either yay or nay, Shaffey will put itself in the majority and cast the vote. This will also be announced, alongside a short announcement about the opinion of Shaffey regarding the majority (also automatically Shaffey's) vote. If the resolution either passes or fails, Shaffey will comment on the success or failure of this resolution. Below are the current logos for the Shaffeyan Representative of GTA Forums to the World Assembly:

 

General Council Representative

 

Security Council Representative

 

3. A Stern Eye but not an Iron Fist:

 

We believe every nation has the right to rule the way they please, but, there must be some standards. Human rights violations, unprovoked wars, etc. Must be avoided, for the good of our own region. If a nation wishes to rule with an iron fist, they may do so, the delegate should not see itself as a nation with unlimited rights and endless boundaries. One of those boundaries is, being tolerant to the ways other nations are ruled. But, although we must be tolerant, we must not risk our own security. That is when the delegate must take action, they must stand up and attempt to reach a diplomatic solution if a nation has become increasingly hostile, and has turned into an international pariah. The other nations in this region will also be seeing Shaffey change and turn into a freer nation over the course of this campaign, and if we are elected, delegateship. Delegate or not, King Shaffey (HSSU) is planning to improve the way this nation is run.

 

Endorse Shaffey to make these things happen. Your endorsement can cause this region to see witness an amazing era.

 

Shaffey has changed, and wants this region to change. Endorse Shaffey. For yourself, and for this whole region.

Casellia Inventius,

Shaffey for GTA Forums.

 

Statement from King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) Regarding this Election

 

 

Today, for the first time, GTA Forums is choosing, as a region, to vote for a new delegate. Choosing a nation that could make a good candidate for delegate. Choosing nation that brings up the best arguments and best proposals for the future.

 

I can tell you one thing today, I, King Shaffey the Great, can truly say that the beauty of a democratic process taking place in our region for the first time is enough to overshadow any problems, debates or wishes we have. I today reach my hand out to Tulija, Otter and all the other nations in this region. A handshake well-deserved for what we have achieved here today and in the last few days.

 

This is just the first glimpse into what Shaffey will bring us all. Endorse Shaffey and enjoy a period of prosperity.

King Shaffey the Great,

Shaffey for GTA Forums.

Edited September 21, 2012 by Greenline

[Otter]

Village Voice, Sep21, 2012

 

 

PATRICIDE IN AMSTERDON

Nation in turmoil, citizens fear for their lives

 

 

NO, AP: The troubled nation of Amsterdon returned to the world stage yesterday with a disturbing revelation: Yohan Orange Magellan Boutros Boutros Ghali Fassbender III is dead, in an apparent assassination orchestrated by his son and heir, John. It is believed that the news was suppressed by shutting down the entire nation's infrastructure for a little over a month.  Reports of anarchy, looting, and murder are filtering in from various sources and all paint strokes in a larger picture: the nation is cowering in a state of fear as their new leader takes the reigns.

 

Given the bloody, violent, two-faced rule of Yohan Orange Magellan Boutros Boutros Ghali Fassbender III, analysts are begging the question: what does John have in store for the nation that could possibly be worse?

 

Meanwhile, groups in the Otter Archipelago are beginning humanitarian aid efforts.  Donations can be left at...

 

 

@JohnGlassbanger:

 

excitement on the base today...lots of mech and tandems in action! Big exercise soon I think

 

@GillyGillespie

 

hope the best for the Krane bros. Dictators suck!!!

 

@FayeBuntan (socialite and starlett)

 

Hail Shaffey!

[GTA_stu]

 

 

********************************

Breaking News!

********************************

 

We interrupt your regular broadcast of Classic Supreme Leader sitting sternly in a chair to bring you an urgent news update. John, in a wise and bold move has announced that the funeral of the Supreme Leader will be brought forward to tomorrow, the 22nd September. A spokesperson for John, who is still yet to be given his official title, said "John has decided to bring forward the funeral of his father, he feels that in such uncertain times in GTA Forums that it is wise to get such an important event out of the way so as not to be distracted by other happenings on the regional level. Today we have seen 3 new nations enter the diplomatic regional chamber, it is obviously not a coincidence and we must be on full alert. We know nothing of these puppet nations, but what we do know is they are clearly acting under orders of another, larger nation who are using their imperialistic powers to force them into doing their bidding."

 

The nation's armed forces have been put on the 2nd highest level of readiness, in preparation for any and all possibilities. In these uncertain times, we do have one thing which we can be certain of. And that is Amsterdon's unrelenting will which can never be broken. The Supreme Leader wisely pumped huge sums of money into our armed forces, giving us a powerful deterrent and ensuring our freedom and right to self-determination. When the bringers of oppression rise their ugly heads, and spit forth their vitriol about this great Federation, we must stand together united and shout as one "We will never surrender. You will have to spill the blood of every Amsterdonian, every man, woman, child and animal".

 

The Otter Archipelago again barks it's loud mouth, and although our reserves of their flags are running low, we urge you citizens: take to the streets and let your voices be heard! John himself has promised to slaughter the otters at the capital's zoo, in a mark of defiance. Only yesterday government agents discovered an Archipelago propaganda radio station being run by 2 effeminate, snobby, psychiatrists. One of them was taken in for interrogation, and after hours of gruelling questioning finally admitted that he was under direct orders from the very top of their government. He also confessed to 938 other crimes, and in an unrelated incident his head fell off due to unkown causes. His body then fell out of the building he was being held in and bounced into a nearby river.

[Greenline]

 

 

Shaffey Reaches an Economic Ranking of 100

 

and

 

What's Happening in Amsterdon?

 

*Intro Music*

 

Reporter Anne Gruilla: Hello and welcome to TDDTV's 6 o'Clock news, I'm Anne Gruilla, bringing you what's new in the Kingdom.

 

*Tune*

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: Word has just reached TDDTV and the rest of Shaffey from the Ministry of Economy that Shaffey has now reached a ranking of 100/100 in Economic Strength. We're here with Uiri Tetra, political analyzer. Good afternoon Mr. Tetra!

 

Uiri Tetra: Hello to you and to all your viewers, whether they be in Shaffey or anywhere else in the world!

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: *smiles* What do you believe this rank will bring Shaffey in the campaign for delegateship?

 

Uiri Tetra: *clears throat* Well, Tulija has always shown her economic strength proudly. It was truly a sharp blade in the Tulijan Representative's and Daxley's boot. It was Tulija's so-called 'edge'. Today this edge is now a dull blade, it exists, but cannot truly provide Tulija with the benefit it provided her before.

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: Yes. One last question before we must part: What is your opinion on the recents Civil Rights reforms?

 

Uiri Tetra: It is clearly a good thing, this I cannot analyze. It is a sign that King Shaffey the Great (HSSU) is willing to polish very old traditions and create a more modern Shaffey, and specifically, a more modern Shaffeyan Dynasty.

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: Thank you very much for your input. *Looks at camera* Up next, a transsexual woman who had sex with her dog. We hope to see you again, right here, at 9 o'clock. Goodbye from Utsoort, and have a great afternoon.

 

---

 

*Intro Music*

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: It is 9 o'clock Shaffeyan Standard Time and we are here from Utsoort, on Shaffey's only international channel. I am, as always, Anne Guilla, bringing you the 9 o'clock news.

 

*Tune*

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: Some news coming out from Amsterdon, it seems like the heir of the late Supreme Leader - who's name has now been revealed to be 'Yohan Orange Magellan Boutros Boutros Ghali Fassbender III' - known only as 'John' has moved the funeral of the Supreme Leader, apparently assassinated by a woman codenamed 'Cider Mellow' by the Shaffeyan Intelligence Agency 'SAMS', forward and is now calling upon for his nation to burn all Otterian Flags durning the nation-wide mourn. He is also planning to slaughter all otter's at the nation's capital's zoo. We asked you a few hours ago what your opinion on this matter was:

 

 

I think it's fine to do what they're doing, as long as it's in their own border. Whatever. *bites into sandwich*

 

 

Oh my god, it's so unfair to kill all those cute otters. But what's an Archipelago?

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: *clears throat* *whispers* An view into the mind of the typical TDDTV viewer.

 

Reporter Anne Guilla: That's it from us for today, I will see you again Tomorrow, as always, at 6 o'clock in the morning. Up next, 'is my husband sleeping with my cousin? Common signs to watch out for' and much more from TDDTV. Here's Anne Guilla and Goodnight Shaffey.

 

*Commercial Break*

Don't forget to read the official statements from Shaffey located on this page and this page. It's worth the read to get updated on Shaffey's current stance and the Shaffeyan Campaign for delegateship.

Edited September 21, 2012 by Greenline

[El Zilcho]

No apologies (we seem to always be one to piss on Shaffey's figurative chips), but economic ratings (e.g. 100 or 94) usually reflect the size of coordinated industry, which is obviously a major tally and one that is worth great consideration. But the overall economy can be better gauged by generators - Tulija would like to remind Shaffey that it's currency is substantially more valuable than the dictatorships. At A$1.98 to Shaffey's $1.69. Not to mention we advocate relatively free policy with a Keynesian edge, while Shaffey's appears to be more state coordinated. Annnnd Tulija's GDP per capita is approx. $45,460 while Shaffey's is a measlier $33,000, and overall GDP is over $100 trillion while yours is only $74. Our average salaries are also approx. $70,000 compared to your $47,964. You might have jumped the gun there Shaffey, but no worries, at least your journalism is as bad as your economics.

 

http://www.broomdces.com/nseconomy/exchang...on=GTA%20Forums

 

K-K-Kill Joy, I know

Edited September 21, 2012 by El Zilcho

[GTA_stu]

 

GTA Forums Happenings

 

There are increasing tensions over in the GTA Forums region, with fiery debates regarding the position for delegate. There are 3 main contenders: The incumbent Meritocratic Republic of Tulija, previous delegate The Aquatic Weasels of the Otter Archipelago and newly reformed and modernised The Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey. The region has been relatively quiet for the past 2 months but a surge in diplomatic activity within the region has seen a political race develop, with much at stake for the winners and losers. All 3 nations are on the campaign trail trying to gain votes from members of the World Assembly within their region. No punches are being pulled as the trio strive to gain the upper hand and undermine their opponents credibility.

 

In other news the squabble between the Otter Archipelago and The Federation of Amsterdon continues to develop. The 2 nations are decidedly polarised in their stances and political positions with Amsterdon being a backwards autocratic dictatorship under the iron fist of it's erratic and insane ruler, whilst the Otter Archipelago is a leftist liberal peace loving socially progressive giant hippy drum circle. The 2 nations have frequently clashed in the past over a variety of issues and tensions seem to be rising.

 

The Otter Archipelago sent dozens of cargo planes filled with pro-democracy pamphlets and leaflets into Amsterdonian airspace disguised as a friendly nation. They then proceeded to fly over population centers and distribute their cargo, before blowing up after apparently developing electrical faults simultaneously. The planes were designed to disintegrate harmlessly and cause minimal damage, although reports indicate that there may have indeed been very isolated incidents of debris making it to ground level and causing slight damage.

 

It is an incident which will have caused huge embarrassment to the authoritarian regime which prides itself on it's vain military strongman image. How it will react remains to be seen, and all nations within the region are sure to be on alert for any military action. The archipelago itself has advanced weapons systems so any move by Amsterdon will have to be measured. The government will no doubt spin the event into it's favour with it's grip on the national media, and it's brainwashed citizens receptive to whatever they are told.

 

 

   

 

Otter Archipelago violates airspace and commits act of political and environmental terrorism.

 

-An undisclosed number of cargo planes enter Amsterdonian Airspace falsely indentifying themselves as belonging to a friendly nation.

-They are in fact unmanned drones from the terrorist state of The Aquatic Weasels of The Otter Archipelago

-They blow themselves up over population centers distributing propaganda and lies.

-The planes were supposedly designed to harmlessly disintegrate, however The Archipelago overestimated their own abilities and tons of debris has rained down upon population centers causing mass casualties and millions of Guilders worth of damage.

-An environmental catastrophe as the leaflets and pamphlets are blown over thousands of square kilometers.

-The endangered black haired pigmy wolf's habitat is severely affected, putting the animal at risk.

-John appears on TV in outrage, promising to avenge the deaths of Amsterdonian citizens and retaliate against the cowardly attack.

 

In an astonishing act of cowardliness and aggression the Otter Archipelago has committed an act of terrorism on Amsterdonian soil. The drone of the planes could be heard overhead, and then there was the explosions which rocked the sky. Millions of propaganda leaflets were dropped, spewing lies and deceit across the nation. The pamphlets contained poisonous ink which can cause damage to the eyeball, and spreads an infection to the nervous system. We urge all citizens to merely report any propaganda they find and absolutely under no circumstance read it as it is a risk to your health. Any citizens who have viewed it will have their eyeballs surgically removed in order to prevent the infection spreading.

 

John has condemned the act, and promised swift retribution. The armed forces are now on full alert and the airspace has been shut down to all international flights. The clean up operation is firmly under way, but it is expected to take months to clean up all of the mess. It has been described as an environmental disaster, with the black haired pigmy wolf badly affected. The endangered specie's habitat has been severely damaged, and the full extent of it's impact is not yet known.

 

"This is an unspeakable act which has threatened this great Federation. We shall not allow this to happen to us without reprisal, they shall feel our wrath and regret the day they crossed us. We shall spill their blood and slaughter their children! They will receive no mercy and no quarter." A general was overheard saying.

[Oddsock]

Thanks for the website Zilch, that's really useful. Also, I'm changing the descriptor for things from Okurka to "Okurkan" instead of "Okurkite". I think it sounds better.

 

——————

 

"Fools. Children, all of them," Viktor's friend waved his thick, wrinkled hands about irritably. A server came over and picked up the newspaper that he had just tossed on the floor.

 

"Sir, if you could please not throw things on the floor, this establishment would appreciate it," the young man said as he turned the ruffled pages back over to their custody.

 

"Read what's in there! It deserves to trampled on! The antics of our region, scrambling for the delegate spot like royalty after a greased pig," Petr spat.

 

"Granted, sir," the server smoothly replied. "But this establishment specializes in coffee much more than symbolic protest."

 

"We're sorry," Viktor said. "May I have another tea?"

The waiter politely acknowledged and disappeared. Viktor sighed while Petr sat grumpily.

"I think you're the reason we're not higher on the list for happiest citizens, Petr."

 

"Bah." Petr returned. He sat for a few moments and then leaned forward. By all accounts, Petr was the angriest man in the entire town of Velka Hora, and all over a couple newspaper articles he had read before Viktor showed up for their bi-weekly coffee.

 

"My aunt used to raise showdogs, you know that?" he started. Viktor didn't bother answering because Petr was going to tell the story anyway. Truthfully, he hadn't heard the story. "French poodles, as best as she could get them--not as easy in the past as it is now. You remember. Well I saw these dogs prance and preen and twirl on their hind legs and I remember how damn stupid they looked. Now just imagine if those dogs scratched and bit one another to see who could preen the best, and then imagine that they were each put in charge of their own nations."

 

Petr leaned back and drew in a deep breath. He was a wonderful storyteller when he got upset. He looked down his nose at Viktor.

"It would look just like this," he finished, stabbing the paper with his finger. Viktor smiled and looked out of the cafe's large windows. A bluish overcast sky sat overhead, resting after a presenting morning shower that saturated the town and surrounding hills in rich colors. Viktor, like most Okurkans, didn't care much for the decision about a delegate. Okurkan politics were largely apathetic to coalitions and supergovernments. Allied nations could run about and make rules and decisions as they pleased, but as long as the FRO was able to do what it wanted to do, there wasn't any reason to get involved. Even becoming the Minister of Regional Affairs was a big, unorthodox step that took place largely to preserve the sovereign interests of the Federal Republic.

 

Still, that didn't mean there wasn't opinion.

"Well, at least Shaffey's campaign is laying down a clear campaign," Viktor said. There were almost no Okurkans rooting for the monarchy, but those like Viktor understood that at least some semblance of ordered thought was better than the vague blame game that was taking place. Petr snorted.

 

"Yes, to think that the first one to offer a clear campaign would be the worst of all. The times we live in."

"The time we live in," Viktor repeated.

[El Zilcho]

Structured campaign, you say? Here's our Manifesto:

 

Activity

The matter of activity in the Forums is undoubtedly our greatest challenge, for it has ignited the leadership row which so voraciously consumes our effort and time now. The slow decline of attentiveness to both internal and external policy is one that is ultimately beyond any Delegate's control, whether they be despotic, conniving, genuine or populist. But Tulija believes that opening the borders was one of the most important primary steps to returning to the lively hub bub of prior days. Inviting new members could be the stirring action needed; locking ourselves away meant that any collapse would result in long term departure, with no hope of replenishment.

 

A long term plan would be increased multilateral action (OOC: more cooperative / competitive action in the form of wars, raids, trade, diplomatic incidents, drama and treaties) with an emphasis on building lasting safe guards to keep ourselves together. We, unlike the somewhat smokey statements of Shaffey and Otter, know there is nothing the Delegate can or should do to force activity. Only to stir it through constitutional efforts - anything extra-judiciary would not only not work, but be impossible to implement (in game the Delegates can do nothing, in terms of executive power, to keep up activity but post incessantly. This is superfluous, but can be undertaken if required).

 

Delegateship

Tulija's role as Delegate has largely been spotless. Once in office, power was handed to the nations people immediately - during activity, all proposals and resolutions were discussed and observed by the majority, with the delegate voting in favour of the region. In times of inactivity, the Delegate has voted with the majority of silent member voters, or acted in the best judgement after thoroughly reading each legislation before acting upon it. Free speech and multilateral agreement on conviction, military action and denouncements have always been advocated by Tulija - the most aggressive action being taken only to restrict the damage of K9K9, which we ultimately sought to avoid direct intervention. As Delegate, even in these dramas, we have sought for national sovereignty, when others called for full scale war. We intend to maintain these virtues.

 

We also intend to keep our role as a figurehead, as we have been for a long time. Not once have we used the powers vested in us to restrain, quell or crush any members. Our intentions are to keep the Delegate office restricted by the current checks and balances - our competitors speak diversionarily about their exact roles. We feel our position should be as weak as possible, communicating the wishes of the region and administering. We've never deviated from this. We've allowed challenges, if been assertive in calling them out as paper thin. Even now, it is business as usual, as we refuse to halt international discussion on World Assembly matters, despite our insular dramas of election.

 

Cabinet

Although understandable, Tulija does not agree completely with Okurka's views on dissolving the Cabinet. We feel they must remain in order to progressively govern, and that with increased activity, they can assist in operating the region. For the meantime, I do however agree with the idea of international alliances / rivalries - they were already extant, but now with the lack of activity, they've superseded the Cabinet's strength (which always lay in its member activity). Upon a return of steady activity, we want further involvement from member nations. Our commitment to sanctions before bullets, did defuse tension before and has always been confident to remain outside of internal matters of national security. Condemnations have been verbal, but always politicised, and never binding (bar the K9K9 safety legislature, which saved countless lives and was internationally agreed on before implementation).

 

Foreign Policy

Tulija stands by its constant view of well considered foreign policy - we feel interregional embassies are a must, but with worthy comrades. We also see this as a future tool to foster activity (RP) with other lands and to invite new faces. Our free trade agreements have initiated economic growth, and active diplomatic meetings in Concordánce maintained peaceful, if heated, debate and solutions. We have also respected the desires of nations to remain isolationist and quiet - although this is discouraged, these are no grounds for forcing cooperation or coercing activity out of the countries who do not wish, as described by Okurkan's, to "fall into supergovernments". This is reflected by our intentions to keep the office of Delegate as small and accountable as possible. We do not need a regional President.

 

Overall Conclusion

Our record speaks for itself. The diminishing of activity was a blight, but through all that, we have remained active and virtuously representative despite no one being around. Our voting patterns, diplomatic and international restraint and wise administration has kept the region in check, even while its core shut down. We've allowed challenges, maintained stability and are happy to look forward for reform in order to bring us back to our feet. And most of all, we know that our actions are the utmost possible. There is no case for a return to prior incompetence, and despite all that may be said about activity, we aren't in command of nations actions. And we have always, from day one, devolved power in as much a dramatic fashion as Shaffey claims to be trying to do.

 

Our plans are, in concentrated form:

 

1. Increase international and interregional activity with multilateral efforts and embassies.

2. Continue our lauded policies of direct democracy, majority voting, non-interventionist policy and Cabinet consideration.

3. Maintaining every nations equal voting rights, whether WA members or not.

4. No expansion or further centralisation of Delegate powers. Keep the office a figurehead.

 

Your Delegate remains the regions most invested representative in history. Back it up with the good judgement you all deserve.

Edited September 21, 2012 by El Zilcho

[Tyler]

 

 

Political strife in our region has become increasingly heated over the past few months. Children starved and women were taken from their homes in the night by corrupt patricians and senators. Men fought on the streets for the antiquated ideas of elder nobility, and died in cracked and stuffed gutters. We were all but lost.

 

But thanks to newly-elected first citizen Gaius Julius Putin, we have reclaimed the glory of the Republic and become a prosperous people once again. Given the fragile state of our now-reformed empire diplomatic republic we ask the delegates of GTA Forums for public support and assistance in Rome's most dire time. Take it from me, you will all be justly rewarded for your charity to our nation, and when the time is right all will bask in the glory of the empire be repaid handsomely.

 

The Prosperous Romans realize that we are a fledgling political power at the time, but whomever lives by a code of honor and loyalty will have the Republic behind them, fully.

[Otter]

Charisma Nettlebaum sighs and stares out the window from his temporary office in the capital. It has been a long week, and the stress has begun to take its toll.  He cracks his knuckles, once again surpised by how spry his body is since the rejuvination therapy.  He looks thirty years younger, but tires easily.  Recovering from death is a lengthy process.

 

A knock on his office door startles him; he was counting on a quiet afternoon and perhaps an early escape for the weekend - there are still a few bars in town he hasn't had the chance to prowl and his celebrity status tends to leave a lasting impression. What more could the senate possibly require today?

 

"Yes, come in," he nearly shouts. Perhaps he should put in for a vacation.

"Excuse me, Mr Nettlebaum, but Senator Williams has prepared our response to Tujila's manifesto and-"

"Tujila's what? This is the first I'm hearing of this."

 

The aide wordlessly hands over a memorandum, a sheepish smirk forming on his lips. Nettlebaum quickly scans over the document then fires off a bark of laugher.

 

"So, ah, not only are they sending out diplomatic messages in response to conversations overheard in a cafe, but they've ha, heh, sorry... They've entirely flip flopped in their opinion of the Cabinet? The 'good judgement we deserve!' have they ever even made a judgment call of their own? Christ, it's ridiculous the lengths of bullsh*t they'll go to in order to win over a few hearts and minds. Heh," he wipes his eyes, "what, pray tell, does the senator want me to say?"

 

The smirk fades from the aide's face. "Perhaps we should take a seat."

"Something tells me I should put my weekend plans on hold," says the diplomatic Macguyver as he fixes a glass of scotch and eases into his chair.

"The blonde or the brunette? I'm sure they'll understand, sir," the aide produces another sheet of paper, bedazzled with official seals and signatures. "After all, you will be telling the nation today that we are at war."

If Charisma Nettlebaum could feel his cheeks, they would be burning angrily. "War! Over the bloody ineffectual role of delagate? Have they gone mad?  Tujila may be a pandering waffle state with the backbone of a drowning earthworm, but that hardly calls for -"

"You misunderstand, sir. The senate wishes to put our drive for the seat of delegate on the back burner.  We've begun step one of a programme we've dubbed the Hynkel Solution, and it's time you were brought ab-"

 

The gunshots ring out like cannons in the tiny office and the aide's face explodes in a gory fountain across the sh*tty formica desk. Nettlebaum barely has time to dive onto the floor before another volley of rounds tears through the wall and perforate the seat he just abandoned.

 

 "Oh sh*t oh sh*t oh jesus," he sputters as he wrestles his sidearm free from its bandolier. Nettlebaum himself was instrumental in the recent concealed weapon legistlation. The universe works in mysterious ways.

 

Screams echo down the hallway. More gunfire and Nettlebaum is on his feet, chasing the carnage and feeling the power of his second youth flooding into action. Rounding the corner, he spies a man with an AK47 firing an entire magazine into what is left of Senator Reed; a bloody pulp with robotic arms misfiring and spasming. Nettlebaum fires his pistol once and the man's face caves in like some nightmare creature trying to devour itself.

Another shot rings out and Nettlebaum turns in time to see the automated security subdue another attacker.

 

He recognizes the uniform and regalia. 

 

Amsterdonian death squad.

 

"No!" he screams into the empty hallway, the lights flickering, blood trails weaving crazy patterns across the cheap linoleum flooring and pastel wallpaper. "NO!"

 

==========

 

In the senate halls, Senator Weaver is beat to death and hung. In his car, waiting for the ferry, Senator Kinsey is garroted and flung lifelessly into traffic shortly before his attackers are vaporized by the secret service. Across town, a schoolbus is pulled over by an oddly official looking character who promptly opens fire; six children are killed before 12 year old Billy Whitford draws his concealed Snake Blaster and introduces the man's internal organs to the light of day.

 

Then the corpse explodes.

 

===========

 

Sirens echoing in his ears, his broken arm (sometimes the numbness of his reanimated body was a blessing, he supposed) tucked in a sling, Charisma Nettlebaum sits in a bathroom stall to avoid talking to reporters. Three senators have been killed, nearly forty administrative employees killed or in critical condition, and the rosey faced children - oh god - on that f*cking bus.

 

The senate is in emergency session and the lone survivor of the death squads is being interrogated.  Charisma sighs, cracks his knuckles again. Someone has written something on the wall with a fat black marker.

 

Charisma Nettlebaum licks ballsacks.

 

This time, he could feel the burning in his cheeks.

[GTA_stu]

"Do you think we went too far sir?"

 

John was sat in his office chair, legs on the desk with a can of lobster flavoured soda drink in his hand. He swiveled round to face out the window and turned his back on the aid.

 

"Do I think we went too far? I don't think we went far enough!" His face contorted in anger.

"I could crush them all like this can you know" Chugging back the remaining contents he firmly placed his hand round the can, then began to squeeze. A bead of sweat ran down his face, his arm began to strain and the veins in his wrist became defined and clearly visible. His arm was now shaking and he threw the can across the room before pulling out his oversized revolver and firing wildly towards the corner where he had launched it.

 

"Have the manager of that damned soda factory make those cans lighter, I mean it's a waste of metal to make them so durable and sturdy. While you're at it confiscate his car and run over his wife with it. Don't kill her, but if you can, make sure her legs are broken. That'll teach him."

 

"Of course sir, you know your father would be so proud if he could see you right now". The aid wiped away a tear that was rolling down his cheek.

 

"Oh yes him. Look I thought it might be good to have the old man in here at this crucial time to support me and all that, but in all honesty it's creeping me out and the smell is making my eyes water. Have him put back in his casket would you. And tell the men to be more careful this time, I don't want to find anymore of my father's fingers on the floor thank you very much."

 

John rose and kissed his father's withering corpse on the forehead.

"I'm so sorry it had to be like this pappa."

"JESUS! That tastes f*cking disgusting. Hurry up and get him out of here!".

 

2 men wearing white lab coats and surgical masks ran into the room and carried the rigid body out, hurriedly making their way down the long corridor.

 

John wiped his mouth with his sleeve, then walked out of the room with his hands stretched outwards behind his back. A team of 5 advisors who had been waiting outside the room, began to follow closely behind him.

"Tell me, is it true that a young boy managed to foil one of our assassins?"

"Yes sir that's correct. He incapacitated agent Schmit who had managed to take out the 6 most rosie cheeked of the children, he then deployed his suicide belt. His entrails were scattered over 2 blocks. It's reported that the young boy quipped it's what's on the inside that counts before tucking his gun back into his holster. He then cried for his mummy." One of the advisors informed.

John let out a slight smirk.

 

"Well regardless, the operation was still a huge success. Have a state funeral laid on for each of the men, it can take place the day after my father's. And make sure our supply of Otterian flags is fully stocked up, the public will be extra wound up afterwards and it would be a shame to let such strong feelings go to waste. My father enjoyed a good flag burning, his father before him enjoyed a good flag burning as did his father before him. One day I hope for a son of my own to enjoy the glorious spectacle."

 

John retired to his private quarters and began to ponder. A new name and a new title were required, but he wasn't sure what to go for. "Supreme Leader" was classic, but he needed his own original title to distinguish him if he truly wanted to be a great dictator like his father. If he wanted to get out of the shadow of his father it would have to be something equally memorable and striking.

 

He started looking around the room.

"Window beddington?" He inquisited to himself.

"Drapes McFloor?"

"Wardrobe lightbulb IV?"

 

This was going to take some time...

 

 

 

 

 

 

[El Zilcho]

Early day traffic buzzed as millions swirled through the streets of Concordánce. Clouds peeled back to reveal a crisp Autumnal sky, with the sun drying last nights downpour. The morning glow glistened off the marble arches and pillars adorning the entry of the International Assembly. It's aesthetics were grand and optimistic, as much so as a building could be seen to be. The mood inside was analogous.

 

"Any comment on the Manifesto?" Charles Scifo sat behind an oversized bureau, looking across at the overworked Ambassador to the Archipelago, Mr Taverington.

 

"None. We'd assumed they'd at least outline their own plans, but it seems they've got nothing to outline. Perhaps they've become too accustomed to playing second fiddle all this time as the loud mouth, sensationalist opposition. I really don't know. But I do know that this lack of comment on the Manifesto shows they have no immediate response." Taverington wasn't particularly objective, after having dealt with a multitudinous quantity of the Archipelago's irritating pot shots. He intended to resign from his post soon enough, but until then he'd have to contend with them for a while more. Scifo, however, was smiling at this development.

 

"For their purported role of rightful delegate, they should hope to try harder than that. I'm used to receiving cables on whatever we do within hours, this isn't very characteristic at all. Have they resorted to character attacks again perha-" Scifo was cut off as the door to his office was abruptly clattered against. A series of loud knocks followed, crushing the flow of conversation as Taverington turned to signal entry. A young man burst through, apparently unaware of his own actions.

 

"Mr Scifo, there's grave news."

 

"Proceed."

 

"A series of assassinations and bombings have been reported in the Archipelago. The very core of their Senate has been hit, and initial reports indicate Amsterdonian involvement." It was unprecedented. The rivalry that was apparent, of course, always had a twinge of Cold War to it. But now it seemed that Amsterdon's new regime would make it hot. Scifo's face was blank, his mind stirred uncomfortably. Open war was inevitable.

 

"Get Daxley on the phone." The aide turned and left, breaking into a jog as soon as he was clear of the oak double doors.

 

"This is outrageous!" Taverington was astounded. Scifo less so. He turned his chair to the window slightly, a ruffled brow framing his eyes as he stared off into the spectacular skyline of Concordánce. This wasn't going to be pretty.

Edited September 22, 2012 by El Zilcho

[TomVDC]

Greetings fellow heads of state,

 

The message that our region had come under attack from outside forces has only just reached me after being withheld from me by my cabinet, that has since then been dismissed, in order to keep the masses calm. I came here personally today to ensure this message reaches you, The United Kingdom of Santos Castillos is pledging their full support in the ongoing conflict!

 

-----------

 

In an 'out-of-character note': The link to my anthem has become invalid. This one should work: