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fireguy109

Nationstates "GTA Forums" Regional Discussion

Recommended Posts

GTA_stu

 

 

10 O'clock news

 

*DONG*

 

Attempted assassination of the Supreme Leader

 

*DONG*

 

Assassin captured alive and in police custody

 

*DONG*

 

Amsterdon agrees to give up its stockpiles of K9K9 after initially refusing

 

*DONG*

 

And now your anchor... Rick De Haan

 

Good evening citizens. In a shocking moment earlier today the Supreme Leader's life was targeted in a cowardly and surprise attack. The lone gunman, wearing a black mask, fired 4 rounds from a pistol as the Supreme Leader made his way to his armoured car after making a visit to a belt buckle factory. Reports say that the security team immediately responded by bundling the Supreme Leader into his car, whilst the assassin was incapacitated initially by a brave passer by. Security guards then swarmed the suspect and brought him to a nearby police station. After about an hour a black helicopter arrived outside the station and took the suspect to an undisclosed location.

 

The whereabouts of the Supreme Leader is currently unknown, but it is believed he is in a secret bunker outside the capital as there is still a "high risk". He was unhurt, but the brick wall he was near is said to be "slightly damaged by 4 holes", it is unclear at this time if these "holes" were caused by the bullets. There is a 2 mile exclusion zone around the factory, and all workers and personnel are undergoing interrogation by the authorities. It is also reported that all family members of the suspect are being detained, and his close associates and friends are as well. There were reports earlier today that a team of men wearing suits arrived at a retirement home and bundled a hooded and handcuffed elderly woman, believed to be the assassin's grandmother, into the back of a van. Passers by clapped and one was quoted as saying

 

 

I could smell urine.

 

In other news The Federation of Amsterdon agreed to withdraw its withdrawal from dismantling its K9K9 stockpiles, and stated that it would again allow regional inspectors into its facilties. Only days ago, in condemnation of the regional cabinet's attempt to strongarm its will against the regions nations, Amsterdon announced it would no longer agree to disarm itself of K9K9. But after long talks with  representatives of Tulija, the decision was made to carry on with efforts to rid this nation and the region as a whole of K9K9.

 

It was after the shambolic affair in Utsoort and the sale of the weapon to suspect nations outside this region, that the Supreme Leader realised that the Shaffeyan nation must be reigned in and prevented from causing damage to Amsterdon and the greater region. A large step in achieving this goal is ridding Amsterdon of the K9K9 weapon and isolating Shaffey so that regional efforts can be focused on the unstable and incompetent regime.

 

This has been Rick De Haan, Glory to the federation! Thankyou and goodnight.

Edited by GTA_stu

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Greenline

To: All Nations of the GTAForums Region

From: King Shaffey the Great

Subject: K9K9 Ban

___________________________________________

 

Today we are destroying all our stockpiles of K9K9 as an apology to the region and to the people of our nation. We will say "No" to the production of any dangerous and destructive weapons on Shaffeyan soil and by Shaffeyan companies. We are a nation of brave men and women who worked together to recover from the K9K9 leak, and that alone shows us that we can also recover from the K9K9 Scandal. I ask all nations to agree on a time and date for a moment of silence for all the people who died because of K9K9, from the citizens of Utsoort, to our and the Otterian HAZMAT troops and even the Gulag men who were tested on.

____________________________________________

 

==Classified==

King Shaffey: Good. Prepare the army for Amsterdon, one more strength test for them and they won't have a federation anymore.

 

Field Marshal Horho: I don't agree, let's recover from one scandal first before moving on to the next.

 

King Shaffey: Maybe you're right. But at least the guy pissed his pants in public, or at least that's what the public is saying.

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Andyzoot

 

 

Press Secretary Claudia Jean: ...and that concludes todays news updates. I will now be taking questions from you all. We'll start with Darren from The Moltisanti Sun.

 

Q1: Thankyou Claudia. In light of the recent changes in stance on the K9K9 weapon, I would like to ask what has been the President's mood in the last couple of days?

 

Jean: The President has been in an excellent mood. Upon hearing of King Shaffey's decision to dispose of the weapon he almost literally jumped for joy.

 

Q2: Claudia, this change in stance has come about without any legislation being passed. Will the President still be pushing for a Biological weapons act?

 

Jean: Yes. I want to make it very clear. Even though the K9K9 weapon will be disposed of. The President still wishes to propose a biological weapons act that will make any interaction with them illegal and subject to punishment. First though, the President has a few other matters to attend to on the regional stage.

 

Q3: I'm assuming you're referring to the President's idea of drawing up an official Charter for the region in light of what happened at Concordance?

 

Jean: That is correct Diana. The President still wishes to bring about a charter that clearly outlines the rules of the region, the processes of power and a document that records all the main goings on of the region. Unfortunately the President's call for this has fallen on deaf ears so far and we are awaiting any kind of response from the regional cabinet or the World Assembly delegate.

 

Q4: What about closer to home? We haven't heard a great deal from the President himself regarding the failed vote of confidence called by Shadow party leader Cornelius Simpson last week. Will the President ever comment on it?

 

Jean: The President personally feels that there isn't much need to dwell on that. Cornelius called the vote, it failed. End of story.

 

Q5: End of story? Claudia, all due respect but I don't think we can close the book on this one quite so quickly. Do you?

 

Jean: You're sitting in Bill's seat, from the Zootopolis Star. Where is he?

 

Q5: Bill's been transferred to the Economy section. I'm Frank, his replacement.

 

Jean: Right, I'll try and remember that in future. Well Frank, I'm sure that as a journalist from the Zootopolis Star, you will greatly appreciate the President not revelling too much in the failings of the Opposition party. If course, if the Zootopolis Star does want to "re-open" the book and throw a few zingers towards the right wing, I'm sure I can convince the President to do so?

 

Q5: No, I think I'll leave it. Thank you Claudia.

 

Jean: OK, any other people want to have a go at the President's administration? My adrenaline is running high now.....nobody? Ok, we'll call an end to this Press Conference. I'll see you tomorrow and Frank, I can't wait to see you again. Thank you.

 

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GTA_stu

 

 

Assassin linked to Shaffeyan regime

 

 

...After hours under interrogation, the assassin who attempted to kill the Supreme Leader on tuesday morning finally cracked and gave up his secrets. The finger was pointed in one direction: The Kingdom of Shaffey. The government has refused to state exactly just how far up the Shaffeyan chain of command the order originated, but a representative said that the findings were "Extremely troubling" and the implications were "huge". If the initial reports are true, then this marks a huge escalation in the methods being used by the Kingdom of Shaffey.

 

It is only days since the apparent ending of the K9K9 weapons crisis, which shook the region and brought about intense diplomatic maneuvering to bring to an end the wreckless Shaffeyan activity in regards to selling the weapon to untrustworthy nations. It is yet another example of the region being brought to the cusp of war by the dangerous and menacing actions of King Shaffey.

 

The nation's armed forces have been placed on the second highest level of alert, and there was a high amount of activity seen at the Hexagon; the Headquarters of the Federation of Amsterdon's Department of Defence. Dozens of helicopters were seen flying in senior officials and government ministers.

 

The secretary for Defence, Timo De Vechten, gave this short statement:

 

 

We would like to reassure the public that Amsterdon will not make the decision to go to war lightly, and whilst the situation with Shaffey has clearly deteriorated, we will not make any rash decisions. If we feel our security has been sufficiently threatened then we will act accordingly, however full scale war is not the only option available to us. We will always pursue a diplomatic option first and foremost.

 

The recent devlopments have potentially huge consequences for the region, with both Amsterdon and Shaffey still in possession of large quantities of K9K9. A war would see huge casualties and it is something both countries will no doubt want to avoid...

 

 

Edited by GTA_stu

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Andyzoot

 

Cornelius Simpson pressures administration

 

In today's government session, Zootopolis Conservative Party leader Cornelius Simpson did not pull any punches when challenging President Pandazoot face to face. Today's session was the first time that President Pandazoot and Simpson came face to face since Simpson's failed vote of no confidence.

 

Simpson challenged President Pandazoot on whether Zootopolis would regain the 1.2million Zoots that President Pandazoot donated to the Kingdom of Shaffey now that the K9K9 crisis has been contained. Simpson questioned President Pandazoot's lack of commitment to closing off all ties between the himself and Shaffey in light of the troubles between Shaffey and Zootopolis. The recent revelations regarding a Shaffeyan agent possibly being involved in an attempt on the life of Amsterdon's Supreme Leader only added fuel to the fire.

 

President Pandazoot responded to Simpson by explaining that the money donated to the Kingdom of Shaffey was to be used exclusively for it's citizens of Utsoort and their wellbeing and that he placed the health of the Utsoort people over any conflicts between himself and King Shaffey.

 

It appeared that President Pandazoot had the upper hand in the debate until Simpson pulled out a file supposedly detailing how King Shaffey had been found to have spent a large portion of money on a Bugatti Veyron automobile. Simpson did not detail how he came across the information, but it sent the Conservative Party crazy in scenes not seen since the final days of the Panova Regime in 2009.

 

President Pandazoot questioned the authenticity of the financial records and tried to put on a brave face but clearly looked like a deer caught in a set of headlights.

[/b]

 

 

 

@Lukev: #presidentpandazoot has not guts so he ain't getting the glory.

 

@Juliathekat: #presidentpandazoot out. #corneliussimpson in. It's time for a change, Pandazoot has had his chance!!!

 

@liketheboobies: Got to admit as a liberal. #presidentpandazoot did not perform well today. Perhaps Valerie Shaw should in???

 

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Straznicy

 

Factions mobilising forces as civil war appears imminent

 

Despite continued hostilities and small-scale engagements since the end of the Glesgan Civil War, it has been a number of years since the feared T-7 tanks have been deployed on the streets of South Glesga. Various factions in the nation have been mobilising in the wake of Archie Buchanan's assassination, most likely perpetrated by the RFG. Fully-equipped troops, vehicles and even helicopters have been spotted in increasingly large numbers in the past few days. While clashes have yet to begin, it is a question not of if, but when. Many speak of the 'calm before the storm'.

 

Internet access is unreliable at best, and is likely to be cut off completely soon. The National Reform Council has made a last ditch appeal for outside help, and has requested the international community take action to prevent the outbreak of war. The Council's guiding figure, Professor Carl Barthélemy, has warned of a major humanitarian crisis. South Glesga is one of the most densely populated nations on the planet, with food and water supplies alarmingly unstable. Sectarian and political divides threaten to create a 'total war' situation.

 

This website will operate as long as is possible.

Edited by Straznicy

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El Zilcho

Excerpt from the Daily Expositor

 

Shaffeyan Skeletons Out Of The Closet

News broke yesterday of the perpetrators behind the Supreme Leader assassination attempt - not many were surprised when Shaffey was revealed. Scenes of fury and violence erupted in Amsterdon as crowds flooded the streets and burned effigies of the already wildly unpopular King Shaffey. These scenes were echoed in Zootopolis as the weak rule of President Pandazoot resulted in the scandalous revelation of his aid funds being spend on luxury goods - embarrassing the administration and unleashing a tide of discontent at both his rule and Shaffey.

 

The military in Amsterdon have began preliminary deployment exercises, with hundreds of tanks and planes practising mobilisation. Despite the assurances of monetary peace, the actions of Amsterdon speak louder than their words. With the Supreme Leader unharmed, it seems that his hammered pride will break conflict and revenge to the offensive Shaffeyan administration. With both nations being some of the more militaristic in the region, any conflict would undoubtedly be bloody.

Excerpt from The Custodian

 

Crime At All Time Low

As promised by Mr Vermillion earlier this month, the law enforcement crack down on centres of crime such as central Meridian City has resulted in a marked reduction of violent and youth related crime. With firmer restrictions, longer patrols and all round better coverage, the Police have cleaned up some of the hotspots associated with the dredges of criminality. For the first time since the 60s, crime has been described by watchdog Justice as "relatively low". This is a massive victory for the Daxley regime once more, with his successes in expanding Healthcare and now curbing Crime going down in history.

 

This news comes just days after Mr Daxley was quoted as saying that "crime and the environment would be top priorities for us all in the coming months". These two areas had been heavily criticised by the media ever since their usual issue of Healthcare and Welfare had been perfected by the Autumn Reforms. It remains to be seen how the administration will tackle the final stumbling block of the environment - but with his current track record, it can be assumed Daxley has it covered.

Edited by El Zilcho

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Oddsock

 

Hello followers! I, the Government Governor, am here again with more swell news about our government!

 

As it turns out, our great country has been infested by morons. By "an overwhelming margin," the aforementioned country-infesting morons have voted in favor of ditching our 11-member National Council in favor of a President and Prime Minister configuration. As details are being sorted out to be voted on further, it's clear that Council member Vaclav Holub is lined up for grabbing the position of President. Does anyone else smell a conspiracy?

 

Even if this is all a legitimate turn of events, that old windbag Holub? Someone tell me what he's got in him that the other 10 Council members don't. Why is he so special? He's as harmless as a baby rock pigeon, he'll be a pushover in office! Just watch special interest group legislation roll on through the government. And isn't he busy enough being a nice big sissy as Minister of Regional Affairs, something our nation shouldn't even be involved in? People seem to be forgetting what caused the civil war we were born from. If the government doesn't want hell to be raised, they should stop being so authoritarian and get back to what it's supposed to be doing: responding to the needs of the people, not the wants of an oligarchy.

 

Fellow Okurkites, heed our motto and prepare to act on it: Per Asper Ad Astra. Through Adversity to the Stars. Government will not rule us again, especially not that ancient bobble-head Vaclav Holub.

 

Yours Truly,

The Government Governor

 

 

 

Interview conducted by Lenka Rozičková.

 

To begin this interview Minister Holub, I'd like to thank you for your time and hospitality in inviting my crew and I to your country home for this interview.

 

The pleasure is mine Ms. Rozičková. My office is much too boring for an interview; I would fall asleep in it as I do most days.

 

[Laughs] Minister Holub, your wit is inspiring in spite of recent regional events. As Minister of Regional Affairs for GTAForums, how do you feel about the whirlwind of change that is happening in the region?

 

I feel...dismayed. Helpless, even. The Regional Council's session in Concordancé demonstrated the necessity of the Council's growth and development. That the Kingdom of Zootopolis has proposed the creation of a charter of guidelines and rules by which the Council should abide is encouraging, and I support it. The Biological Weapons Ban failed because the Regional Council failed. We should not abandon it, but we should work to change it for the better. I look forward to working with the other members of the Regional Council on this.

 

And in regards to the Ban, how do you feel about regional action towards the Kingdom of Shaffey?

 

Again, helpless. After the dismissal of the Regional Council, I felt that I was walking away from an opportunity to properly mediate the situation. Now we are hearing about the Federation of Amsterdon mobilizing its military after an assassination attempt by a Shaffeyan agent. The Kingdom of Zootopolis is facing political upheaval in response to K9K9 talk failures. It appears that we are no better off than we were before the creation of the Regional Council. That is why another Council session is imperative to me.

 

Why do you feel it has been so difficult to enact a competent Regional Council?

 

First and foremost, I want all to understand that I feel all members of the council are very competent. They were elected for their qualifications. However, mediating GTAForums is akin to herding cats in a sack sometimes. There are 46 nations in the region, and they range from highly authoritarian to anarchistic, theocratic to completely godless. Most are stable, but others like our newest member South Glesga are in turmoil. It is difficult to cater to all or even half of the nations in GTAForums. Any legislation, even if perfectly written, is a game of gambling that we must try to win for the sake of our regional health and unity.

 

Speaking of unity, Okurkites have recently voted 59% to 41% to dissolve the National Council, of which you were once previously a member, in favor of a more common and more efficient President and Prime Minister system. As details are being ironed out, how do you feel about this, especially as the only current presidential possible?

 

I am? I thought we had more sense than that [laughs]. I can give you no worthy opinion. I am neutral on this decision, but I am glad to see that our countrymen and women are so active and present in the course of our government. It is a testament to how dedicated we are to keeping our past in mind to inform our actions as a people, as we have seen public disinterest in politics allow for sinister interests to go unnoticed. If I were to be officially nominated, I would take it, and if I were elected into office, I would certainly do my best. That being said, I hope that more candidates will spring up. All sides must be represented, and I know I cannot speak for all of Okurka. I will always do my best to do so, however.

 

Minister Holub, thank you very much for your words. It has been a pleasure.

 

And to you, Ms. Rozičková. Please come back, at any time.

 

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Andyzoot

 

President Pandazoot calls on Tulija

 

Today, President Pandazoot called on the Tulija's leader to stand and make his opinion clear on the recent rumblings regarding a regional charter.

 

President Pandazoot was at a secondary school in Grant City promoting the teachings of literature from home grown authors. President Pandazoot posed with schoolchildren and was asked to comment on an interview with Vaclab Holub, an Okurkan council member, who referred to President Pandazoot's words last week when he proposed a regional charter. The President said,

 

"It is encouraging to hear that I am not the only one who is supportive of a regional charter. I think there has certainly been some disgruntlement among some nations after the collapse of the last Regional Council meeting and the ambiguity over the laws regarding biological and any other major weapon in the region. But what I think we really need right now is our WA Delegate from Tulija to come forth and give his opinion on what we can do. I think his word is likely to carry more weight and I hope he puts that weight behind the charter."

 

 

 

No sign of Income Tax dropping

 

In a blow that is sure to be felt across Zootopolis. It was announced today by the Bretton Liberal Party that there would be no major change in the Income Tax Rate for at least the next year or so.

 

The Secretary for Finance announced plans for the next 15 months budget outside St Bretton's Hall today. The announcement comes today at almost the exact mid-point of President Pandazoot's current term in office and has come under attack from the Zootopolis Conservative Party as well as the Worker's Party. Terence Fredrickson of the Worker's Party was asked for a comment upon leaving St Bretton's Hall an hour after the budget announcement. He said,

 

"For too long, the income tax has been too high for even the working class of Zootopolis. The men and women who keep this country going have been betrayed today and to be honest it has really disappointed me."

 

Cornelius Simpson of the Zootopolis Conservative Party was at St Bretton's Hall but was unavailible for comment. One insider of the party however described the mood as very "solemn" for the people of the Zootopolis. Some political analysts have called this a shot to the heart of President Pandazoot's administration.

 

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El Zilcho

Hugh Daxley on the Regional Tribunal:

 

"Biological weapons are a major talking point internationally, and for good reason. They are tactically obtuse, volatile and ruthlessly cruel. Not only are they inhumane, even for a weapon, but they are uncontrollable to the point of being rendered useless. As such I endorse legislation to ban them - the creation of the Cabinet should not be dismissed. It's existence as a governing body would be pointless if we do not pass judgement on the issues which press our region. For our own safety, fraternity and common sense, we must look to use our powers to limit these weapons. Set a precedent. Otherwise we risk giving in to the critics of the Cabinet. If we continue as we have, we'll end up cutting off direct democracy while leading with incompetence. That is not what I want and absolutely not what any of the nations need or deserve now."

Tweets on Mr Daxley's speech:

 

"Hugh's hit the nail on the head. Why have a Cabinet if it's devolved to bureaucracy?"

"Firmer action is needed."

"when the cabinet was first discussed, problems of pointlessness were raised. look where we are now, back to square one."

"we want direct democracy! scrap these pencil pushers and let the people speak!!"

"I think the best thing we can do is begin an immediate draft on the powers of the Cabinet. That way we'll set it in stone, so that we won't deviate from sense in the future."

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TargetTango

 

Minister Marcel Vacek

Press Conference Summary

12th July, 2016

"Arkiasis has always been opposed to biological and chemical weapons. The recent disaster in Utsoort is a prime example of why these weapons are not only dangerous, but also unpredictable and devastating. Many people where killed in Utsoort, but many more will have to suffer from life long damage and pain as a result. These people are the real victims which Shaffey fails to notice."

"These sorts of weapons have been proven to cause and I quote: chronic illness caused by exposure to chemical and biological agents; delayed effects in persons directly exposed including causation of cancer, severe damage to the human foetus, and detrimental alterations in the human gene; as well as organic damage, particularly nervous damage which lasts throughout life, even though the person is not directly killed."

"Arkiasis is in favour and supports any regional bill that restricts and/or bans the use of chemical and biological weapons, and would ensure that nations do indeed follow up on their promises to destory their stockpiles of said weapons."

 

 

Electoral Reform for the 2019 Elections

After a 162-129 vote on banning polygamy a few weeks ago questions have arisen on the voting process and how the current party list

proportional representation system allows parties to place and remove MP's at their discretion which can effect legislation which goes through the House.

In the House of Designate vote on polygamy the Labour party had 32 vote in favour of the ban with another 38 voted against it

and the Liberals had 18 for, 24 against. The Department of Elections have brought up a proposal to introduce electoral districts

in the 2019 elections, Debra Greggs mentioned "We want to introduce a fair and balanced voting system that lets people choose

individual Members of Parliament while maintaining our proportional representation style of voting."

Currently a mixed member proportional representation system is favoured and if enacted will decide half the seats in the House voted through first past the post electoral districts and the other half through the current proportional system.

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Andyzoot

 

SHE SHAW KNOWS HOW TO PARTY!

 

user posted image

 

Vice President Valerie Shaw spent Wednesday night at a swanky do at the Emperor Hotel in Maddox. Where she spent her time drinking her own weight in champagne and eating food cooked by the finest Arkiasisian chefs while millions of Zootese people worried about the income tax, which Valerie Shaw and her cohorts said earlier this week, would not be coming down.

 

Valerie Shaw was pictured laughing with fellow rich Zootese people and one insider said he actually saw Valerie Shaw drinking from the champane bottle and "wobbling on the dancefloor". This incident is sure to pile more embarassment and pressure on President Pandazoot's cabinet after the troubles in Concordance, Cornelius Simpson's increasing outspokenness in the Government Sessions and the income tax fiasco that occurred the other day.

 

The party which was hosted by President Pandazoot's Bretton's Liberal Party was for the children's charity, The Rainbow Fund. But it appears this party will more likely be remembered for Vice President Shaw's party antics than helping any children.

 

 

 

Vice President shrugs off 'tabloid sensationalism'

 

This morning, Vice President Valerie Shaw shook off the article from this morning's Daily Zoot and dismissed it as 'mere tabloid sensationalism'.

 

The Daily Zoot's article claimed that Vice President Shaw was seen 'drinking from a champagne bottle' at a charity event last night. Reporters were waiting outside Shaw's flat this morning for her to emerge and make her way to work. At 8:07, Shaw left her flat and was immediately surrounded. She had this to say,

 

"Yes I am aware of The Daily Zoot's report and find it laughable. It is mere tabloid sensationalism. If I really was 'drinking from a champagne bottle' last night then I highly doubt I would have been up at seven o'clock this morning getting ready for work. This report is clearly a campaign against our President's term in office after all it's no secret where The Daily Zoot's allegiances lie. Oh and just in case you were interested. We raised 457,000 Zoots last night. Maybe you should do an article about that?"

 

 

 

Edited by Pandazoot

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El Zilcho

Excerpts from The Custodian

 

Cancer Deaths At All Time Low

The death rate for Cancer has now dropped to 0.91% of the population, an all time low and huge testament to the new funding that has revitalised what was considered a 'dying system' of public healthcare just years ago. In times gone by the death rate by Cancer was reported to be as high as 33%, but it has steadily dropped over time and has now hit what many proponents of public healthcare have called a 'utopic low'. In comparison, deaths by Old Age have risen to 31%, but it isn't all good news. Heart Disease is still apparently claiming 64% of the population, a sign of Tulija's opulent life style it would seem.

Aesculo Takes Hit

The Aesculo, for several months the strongest currency of GTAF, has once more fallen behind the Naufalan Cap. Although still in second place, the Aesculo took dips in the exchange rate after tax rates were hiked up over the weekend budget to pay for the reforms brought about my Daxley. Although generally viewed in a positive light by the public, the tax raises are being viewed with discontent in opposition movements. Daxley has pledged to cut as much as he can after the completion of major service reforms but has also stated that "national healthcare, welfare and education costs are high. 12% for all this is higher than we're used to but let us not forget the progressive tax policies of times gone by which resulted in 45%."

Excerpt from Concordance Times

 

Environmental Policies 'Exemplary'

The intense environmental responsibilities of Tulijan state have purportedly been met as of today. With new policies enacted resulting in the rainforests being described as 'pristine' and tourism increasing, it is a departure from previous smash and grab policies which placed economic growth before any and all other priorities. The more balanced, appropriate approach has drawn some critiscim but on the whole has been hailed as a mature, constructive response. These new laws will see the Amazon largely off limits for expansion, with funding directed to scientific endeavours and conservation efforts. Despite this, many still call for its scrapping due to the tax increases brought about to fund it and other reforms. Although slightly controversial, it is likely to remain in place. And the jungles will undoubtedly be better for it...

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Straznicy

 

WAR ERUPTS IN THE SOUTH!

Last night saw recent hostilities between the RFG and GNA form into all-out war, as the whizz of rockets cut the skies and the sound of explosion filled the air. Everyone knows the question of war was when and not if, but already the war has shocked some with its relentlessness and fury.

 

Two brigades of the North Glesgan Defence Force have been deployed to the border to help deal with the influx of refugees. Major Gen. Paul Welsh, commander of the operation, said refugees would be turned away unless injured severely.

 

The cabinet have maintained a strong position that the North will not be involved in the conflict.

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Andyzoot

 

Long wants peace in Glesga

 

The Zootopolis Secretary of Foreign Relations today spoke out against the violence that has erupted in the nation of Glesga. Richard Long was asked for a comment upon presenting a medal of valor to each of the Zootese soldiers who assisted in the Amsterdon Zombie crisis a while ago. Richard Long said,

 

"In a time when shaky relationships seem to dominate the region. It is our hope that the war in Glesga is brought to a swift close. I have had the backing of the President in asking for the representatives of both sides of the war to contact Zootopolis so that we can mediate between the sides and bring peace back to Glesga. We do not want to see more lives lost."

 

Richard Long also reiterated President Pandazoot's calls for a regional charter and said he was encouraged by Tulija coming forth. He told reporters,

 

"It is a massive boost to the proposal that Tulija has come forth and not only that but to Arkiasis who spoke out against biological weapons. It is the belief of Zootopolis that if no nation comes forth to oppose the charter now then they may have no reason to argue against it in the future. The President, Tulija and any other nations interested wish to begin drafting the charter a week from now."

 

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El Zilcho

Front page of Mauritopolis Herald

 

Humanitarian Crisis in South Glesga

Tensions in the anarchic South Glesga finally erupted yesterday, as the RFG and GNA mobilised en masse. The already densely populated and desolate South Glesga threatens to be cast back into turmoil. Although generally unsafe, it was on a path to improvement with the stability brought about by Straz Turnbull in recent times. His death has once more propelled it to the edge of chaos, with several of its factions vying for power, and the tricky question of Unification with the North complicating matters considerably.

 

Head of the Asclepian Society Vittorio Balboni commented that "The implications of renewed hostilities in South Glesga could have horrific consequences for the civilians caught in the cross fire. Population density is very high, and the lack of air power wielded by the revolutionary forces is probably all that saves these people from total annihilation; street fighting will be the norm and thousands will suffer. Medical supplies and even basic drinking water will be terribly disrupted." Reginald Oakley of Foreign Relief (and prolific philanthropist) has pledged his support in helping to ease the strain on innocent bystanders in South Glesga, but that task is not only daunting but quite possibly impossible when all the factors compounding the civil war are considered. Zootopolis has publicly sided with relief efforts but the Tulijan Directorate or Mr Daxley have not made any comments.

Excerpt from inner pages

 

Zootese Satire

The proud people of Zootopolis were again humiliated by the frivolities of their leaders earlier this week, when Vice President Valerie Shaw was caught by paparazzi spending taxpayer money on champagne and acting with general impunity. Such a sight would shock many of our readers, and would have resulted in an instant termination and pension slash in the Meritocracy and condemnation by the Consular Shadow Ministry should it have occurred here, but it seems Mrs. Shaw escaped with some choice words, and nothing more damaging than some embarrassment. The perceived weakness of President Pandazoot (particularly in the diplomatic coups scored against him by both Shaffey and his own domestic opposition) meant that public approval ratings dipped to below 50%. Mrs. Shaw's partying being done on official state business has not gone down well with the Zootese people, resulting in calls for impeachment.

 

Cornelius Simpson has remained unusually quiet regarding these gaping mistakes by the current administration, although this cannot be guaranteed for long.

 

Mauritopolis Named '#1 Holiday Destination'

The metropolis of Northern Tulija has been named by Paradiso magazine as the #1 travel destination in Tulija today. Regarded as a bastion of cultural, historical and most popularly, beach view holidays, it has long been the top destination for the thronging bands of national and international visitors. It is a microcosm (if it can be called this, with a population of over 10 million) of all Tulija has to offer, and it's night life has been described as 'mesmerising' and 'life changing'. 'Topolis (as it is colloquially called) is experiencing a second growth after it was viewed as stagnant in the 80s, with massive investment in it's 'quaint' City Centre resulting in one of the most meteoric rises in the history of metropolitan Tulija.

Edited by El Zilcho

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Oddsock

 

Varying Opinions Held Over World Census Corruption Rating

NEJLEPŠI--

 

Citizens of Okurka have reacted in all kinds of ways to the recent World Census rating that placed the Federal Republic of Okurka in 4th out of 46 for least corrupt governments in the GTAForums region. Polling indicates an expected increase in pride and patriotism, but the nation's position in the Regional Council has divided citizens over the corruption of other nations.

 

"The Regional Council was created for governance of the GTAForums region that would bring us closer together and maintain peace," says citizen Jan Stodola. "But now it comes out that we're the least corrupt member of the Regional Council? What does that say about being able to trust other nations with leading the region? Did you know that countries 1 through 3 on that list aren't even on the Regional Council? It's preposterous that Vaclav Holub has to work within a den of thieves and liars. How is he supposed to handle any affairs if they handle their own illegitimately? We should step up with the other three nations on the top of that list and show everyone else how to behave."

 

Others, like citizen Petr Roubal, see the news as calling for a different kind of action. "I've heard people saying we should get more involved in the Regional Council to fight this region-wide corruption. I can't imagine what they're thinking. If we can only trust ourselves, we need to back out of the Regional Council entirely. Let liars suffer each other so we don't have to."

 

A fair-sized but silent group of moderates, of which Karl Maslo is a member, are advocating what he calls "more rationalism, less sensationalism. Look, we're all a bunch of different countries with different cultures and histories. We all view corruption differently and we all have different problems. In some countries, corruption is a part of culture. Even when it's not, it can be difficult to eradicate. Plenty of countries have been successful but endured unfortunate levels of corruption. I think everyone should just cool their heels and show some love instead of go around bashing everyone else. I have good friends in Zootopolis. Just because their government suffers from more corruption for any number of reasons doesn't mean they're not worth being friends with."

 

Amidst all these opinions, local politicians have been quick to target constituent bodies who hold supporting opinions. The federal government has given no official opinion on the matter except that it is proud to be considered 4th of 46 and it will work hard with the people of the nation to become 1st.

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Andyzoot

 

Simpson: I FEAR FOR OUR NATION

 

 

 

On Wednesday 21st of March. Vice President Valerie Shaw was caught by journalists from this very newspaper acting in a disgraceful manner that brought shame upon her and our nation. On the Saturday after, I sat down with Conservative Party Leader Cornelius Simpson to discuss the matter and where Simpson believes President Pandazoot is going wrong with his leadership.

 

Let us start with Ms. Shaw on Wednesday. Were you surprised when the story broke out?

 

Honestly? No I wasn't. To be honest with you, it's a fairly well known secret that Ms. Shaw has a taste for the bottle in the corridors of St Bretton's Hall. When I read in your newspaper about the incident, I was actually relieved that this problem had finally come to light in the public's eye.

 

Are you worried that Ms. Shaw's decision making may have been affected by alcohol in the past?

 

Let me tell you about an incident that happened almost a year ago. It occurred around the time that the government was debating whether or not to join the GTA Forums region. President Pandazoot invited a bunch of representatives from the other political parties for a meeting at his residence. Upon arriving, I noted that Ms. Shaw was no where to be seen and that was very odd to me considering she is our current Vice President. Anyway, about 20 minutes into the meeting, Ms. Shaw entered the house and had a bit of a stumble in her step. Then at various points in the meeting when she spoke, she was slurring her words a little. It seemed that President Pandazoot was trying to ignore it but the rest of us could tell she had been drinking. So yes, the fact that she would turn up to a major meeting drunk makes me wonder what other meetings she has turned up to drunk...

 

What do you think are the next steps for Ms. Shaw?

 

Well first of all I think she needs realise that she has some kind of a problem. I saw the way she shrugged off your report the next morning. After that she needs to come out and apologise to Zootopolis and the children's charity which she besmirched with her behaviour. Then I think it's time for her to consider her position in the President's cabinet.

 

And what about President Pandazoot's role in all this?

 

Well he has stayed suspiciously quiet throughout this whole affair hasen't he? He's probably dealing with his Chief Whip role rather than concentrating on matters closer to home. I personally believe that if Ms. Shaw doesn't resign from her position, then President Pandazoot should step up and sack her himself. Otherwise it would only add more question marks to his leadership.

 

Let's keep with those question marks for a moment. The income tax announcement didn't come at the best of times did it?

 

It would not have mattered what time you released that information. It was bad to begin with when you announce that Income Tax will remain at 51%. It's absolutely disgraceful. There are people who are working two jobs just to stay out of debt. I really see no reason how the President can justify it. It's as if he wants the country to fail.

 

And of course it's not the first mistake that this President has made?

 

No. I want to make it clear that I have never had an issue with the President up until the end of his first term, I admired the way he helped keep this country up in the aftermath of General Panova's dictatorial rule. But it now seems that he wants to let this country drop down again. President Pandazoot's constant mis-steps with King Shaffey has lead to Shaffey making us look like fools. Plus the President's increasing involvement with the Regional Cabinet has lead to him forgetting about us in Zootopolis.

 

 

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Andyzoot

 

 

President's Cabinet Defeated by Cold

 

It has not been the most remarkable week in President Pandazoot's cabinet's history. The fallout of the Valerie Shaw Champagne Fiasco had not yet died down and Opposition Leader Cornelius launched a scathing attack on The President's tenure in an exclusive interview with this paper and it was still only Monday. It was expected that the President would respond to the interview in Monday's session at St Bretton's Hall but the President was conspicuously absent.

 

Valerie Shaw instead took his place in session and could only muster a timid response to the interview. When asked why President Pandazoot was not there in session, the expected answer was that he had some kind of business relating to the Regional Cabinet. However the reality was much more laughable. It seemed that President Pandazoot was away because he had caught a cold. This prompted laughter from the Zootopolis Conservative Party including Cornelius Simpson.

 

 

 

Zootopolis' First Presidential Debate

 

Today, President Pandazoot came out and made his first public appearance since last weekend. He interrupted Press Secretary Claudia Jean's press conference where he took questions from the press. The President has been sidelined by a cold for the last five days and the question on everybody's lips was what was his reaction to the newspaper interview that Cornelius Simpson did with The Daily Zoot where he heavily criticised the President's actions relating to the Valerie Shaw incident last week and his income tax announcement. President Pandazoot said,

 

"Well I find it funny that Mr Simpson would go to The Daily Zoot for an interview where of course he is not going to have his comments challenged. I would like to see what he says in an actual debate with somebody on the other side of the fence."

 

This created excited murmurings in the Press Room before one journalist asked,

 

"Are you serious? Would you enter into a debate with Cornelius Simpson...as in a televised Presidential Debate similar to the ones seen in certain other countries?"

 

To which the President responded,

 

"Well I had planned on proposing this at a later debate but you see, Mr Simpson seems to have forced my hand with his constant barrage of criticism everywhere he can EXCEPT for St Bretton's Hall. The fact is Zootopolis is a new country, we are still looking to improve our form of democracy to be up there among the best democratic countries in GTA Forums. I'm looking at Cheap Electronics in particular, our neighbour to the South. A televised Presidential debate would go a long way to making the government of Zootopolis more transparent to it's citizens. I think it is an excellent idea and I look forward to hearing the Zootopolis Conservative Party's reaction to it in the near future."

 

Finally, The President did give us an update on what he had been doing during his time off sick. He said,

 

"Playing lots of 'Golf Simulator 2010'...of course I am joking. I've been looking at ways to decrease the income tax without squeezing too much out of our nation's facilities and working on a draft of the Regional Charter which I hope to reveal very soon."

 

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Straznicy

 

An episode of the popular reality show 'Ned Wars' is interrupted.

 

"We interrupt this episode of Ned Wars to bring you a special news broacast."

 

A stern looking, middle-aged newsreader comes into shot.

 

"Good evening, I'm Kyle Hughes. Violent scenes have unfortunately unfolded at the Gorbals border with South Glesga."

 

 

user posted image

 

"N-G-D-F troops have been forced to open fire on South Glesgans fleeing the newest wave of open conflict. A gas attack from the South was reportedly launched on the West Gorbals checkpoint around half-an-hour ago. The Defence Force opened fire in order to disperse the crowd gathered at the crossing. Several army personnel have been injured, although no fatalities have been reported."

 

 

user posted image

 

"At this time it is not clear who launched this attack, or why. The Prime Minister has reiterated that South Glesgans fleeing the hostilities must find shelter elsewhere, and that the N-G-D-F will not hesitate to use force in securing the border."

 

"The war appears to have reached its plateau in the past day or two, with street fighting largely replacing the missile and mortar attacks that have characterised the conflict thus far. The number of casualties is as yet indeterminable, but some sources claim thousands have already fallen victim. Stay tuned for developments as they emerge..."

 

 

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Andyzoot

 

 

In light of recent discussions regarding the position of Valerie Shaw as the Vice President of Zootopolis. President Pandazoot's cabinet would like to make it very clear that there are no plans for Ms. Shaw to depart her position either through resignation or dismissal.

 

The allegations against Ms. Shaw is based on "witness" accounts and at no point has The Daily Zoot newspaper provided photographic proof that back up their allegations.

 

Ms. Shaw is a valued member of The Cabinet and President Pandazoot wishes her to remain by his side for the foreseeable future.

 

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Andyzoot

 

SIMPSON AGREES TO PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

 

Zootopolis Conservative Party leader Cornelius Simpson appeared outside of his house today and met with reporters outside. He was fielded questions regarding the possibility of a Presidential Debate which was proposed by President Pandazoot on Friday. Simpson had this to say,

 

"I was going to leave this till tomorrow morning, but yes. I am interested in a Presidential Debate against President Pandazoot. I'm sure we will discuss details tomorrow and you will all be notified of them when they are ready. Thankyou."

 

 

 

 

@GMcHooney: It is understood that President Pandazoot submitted the first details of the Regional Charter late last night. #regionalcharter

 

 

Edited by Pandazoot

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TargetTango

 

Arkiasis Navy reveals new ship

 

Today the Department of Defense announced their 2016 Naval budget which was highlighted by the reveal of the new S14B Class Destroyer ships. "We need to be ready to take on any threat in the 21st century" said Naval Captain Fred Stephenson, also stating that the new ships will feature top of line technology and advancements as Arkiasis enters the new age of naval warfare. "Electronic warfare control, automatic weapons control, cruise control, and cup holders. These are literally some of the finest ships in the world." CO Stephenson stated. The Naval Command hopes to have up to 1000 ships in service by 2020.

 

 

A Prototype S14B during combat training in 2015

user posted image

 

 

 

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Andyzoot

 

 

Claudia Jean: Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for coming today. I will start today with a short press statement from President Pandazoot and then you may ask your questions.

 

In light of the events in Glesga over the weekend. The President is once again making pleas to leaders of both sides to make contact with Zootopolis so that we can work a peaceful solution to this conflict. We do not want to see any more bloodshed.

 

Ok, you may now ask your questions, we'll start with Steve. Yep?

 

Q1: Claudia, what's the situation with the Presidential Debate? Is it definitely on?

 

Claudia Jean: I can confirm that both President Pandazoot and Mr Simpson are discussing the terms today in session, we're expecting to make a formal announcement later this week. Jane?

 

Q2: Thank you Claudia. Is this Presidential Debate going to include the leaders of both the United Liberal Party and the Panova Remembrance Party?

 

Claudia Jean: Well nothing is official yet but the general feeling seems to be that the debate will only be between the two largest parties of Government.

 

Q3: Claudia, what is the President's...

 

Q2: Hold on Tim, I'm not done yet. Claudia, don't you think that is unfair to exclude the United Labour Party and the Panova Remembrance Party?

 

Claudia Jean: As I said before, nothing is official. But there are two clear contenders in the next Presidential Election and I think it's those two who should be focused on. Tim, do you want to finish your question?

 

Q3: Yes, thank you Claudia. What is the President's reaction to Arkiasis's latest 'Prototype S14B'?

 

Claudia Jean: I don't think either myself or the President is familiar with that...

 

Q3: Well it's part of their new wave of Naval Defence.

 

Claudia Jean: Well I'm sure it will contribute to their naval defence, but frankly it's none of our business right now....doesn't anybody want to ask questions about Glesga?.............Obviously not.

 

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El Zilcho

 

Michael Allabarton Unveils Larsson Report

The infamous annual Larsson Report was revealed once more today by Second Minister Michael Allabarton. As the second in command of the Meritocracy, the revelation is a tradition for the Second Minister, unveiling the corruption and efficiency report that has come to be an official yard stick of the performance of government. Originally created in 1904 as an unofficial critique of government, it continued to operate even throughout the 30s and the hellish regime and persecution of the Authoritarian Mortimer. Despite the risk of death, Lukas Larsson Jr. continued to compile his reports and survived the Restoration, continuing to operate as an impartial adjudicator of how well the government was representing the people. By the 50s, it had become an officially sanctioned inspection of government, operated by independent analysts and symbolising the almost Puritanical standards the Assemblage and Meritocracy were held to.

 

This years report was rated at a 8.9 (scaled out of 10) which is the second highest in history, with data gathered from both the People's Shadow Commission and undercover investigators who regularly 'spook' the halls of power during the compiling of the report. Mr Allabarton was seen beaming as he stepped out of the Cloister and onto the announcement podium, where he greeted the collected press before reading from the published article, highlighting the sections which read "completely committed", "streamlined and effective" and "quintessentially Tulijan in its scope of service". Areas for improved were crime levels in inner city areas, and cutting on the questionable subsidisation policies. Approval rating still remain at a steady 90% and the administration has successfully expanded services provided, while shifting taxation and reforming it, allowing the average income tax rate to drop to 3% - the lowest since records began. Criticism still continues to bombard the government regarding the ineffective combating of crime in problem areas, with Meridian City still coming under significant scrutiny. On the whole, however, today can be taken as a huge victory for the already soaring regime.

Edited by El Zilcho

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Andyzoot

 

Simpson wants answers from Shaffey

 

Zootopolis Conservative Party leader, Cornelius Simpson, today issued a demand to King Shaffey demanding him to release information on what Zootopolis' donation of 1.2 Million Zoots went towards recently.

 

After the K9K9 disaster in Utsoort, Zootopolis President donated 1.2 million Zoots to King Shaffey which was intended to go towards the recovery of the city. However King Shaffey has been mysteriously quiet since then and Mr Simpson is worried that the money has been used for something other than aid. Today outside St Bretton's Hall, Mr Simpson told reporters,

 

"I find this silence to be most insulting. We...or should I say President Pandazoot, gives money to Shaffey that is supposed to be aid and yet we have had no word from King Shaffey to say that it's gone towards that. For all we know, King Shaffey is using our money to have a holiday around the world. I demand that King Shaffey makes his presence known and updates us on the situation."

 

Reporters also asked Mr Simpson for an update regarding the Presidential Debate. He replied with a very short statement saying,

 

"The details are being worked on but we should announce something by Wednesday at the latest."

 

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Otter

 

Cloning Breakthroughs Awe Nation

 

OAAP - NEW OTTERTON | Our nation has been sleepy of late, weary from international conflicts and adventures.  However, a recent medical breakthrough has citizens of the Archipelago daydreaming of immortality.

 

The practice of cloning human beings has been legal for years in the Archipelgo, but has not, until last week, ever been truly successful.  The first experiment yielded a human heart that beat four times two fast; subsequent efforts resulted in spare fingers being grown to replace amputations and extra inches added to the more tender areas of some of our lesser-endowed fellows. 

 

The Senate has been tight lipped about the identification of the cloned individual but conspiracy theorists and romantics alike are hailing a return of Charisma Nettlebaum, national hero and victim of a foul assasintation attempt using the K9K9 "Deathly Rain" bioweapon that left scores of others dead.  The likeliness of this scenario is debatable, yet this reporter holds out hope against the odds.

 

 

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Andyzoot

 

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE 18/4/2012

 

After much discussion, the details for Zootopolis' first Presidential Debate have been finalised. We are pleased to announce that the debate will commence on the 18th April 2012. The debate will be hosted at the University of Moltisanti at approx 20:00.

 

The debate will be between the leader of Bretton's Liberal Party, President Pandazoot, and the leader of the Zootopolis Conservative Party, Cornelius Simpson. The leaders of the United Workers Party and Panova Rememberance Party will not be participating.

 

The debate will be broadcast within Zootopolis through 'Quality TV' on Channel 4. Internationally, the broadcast will be carried live through Aspect TV from Tulija. INN News from Tulija will also have a highlights package of the debate to broadcast after the debate has finished.

 

The topics for discussion in the debate will be picked by citizens of Zootopolis through Quality TV's website (www.qtv.zt) The top five topics chosen will be the final 5 subjects up for discussion. These topics will be kept secret from the Presidential Choices until the time of the debate. The moderator for the debate has yet to be chosen but it will be a decision made by Quality TV and St Bretton's Hall.

 

 

 

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Straznicy

 

A masked man, claiming to be the RFG's elusive new leader 'Commander Black', delivers a statement. The picture quality is low, the sound of gunfire and explosions are flagrantly audible, and the room notably shakes every so often.

 

North Glesgan newsreader: Earlier today, the NGBC received a video supposedly from the South Glesgan terrorist group, the RFG. Although not confirmable at this time, experts believe the video to be legitimate. It is the first public contact any Southern group has made with the outside world since the war has begun.

 

 

user posted image

 

Newsreader: The identity of 'Commander Black' is unknown, but he is believed to have taken the reins of the organisation.

 

Commander Black: The leadership of the Revolutionary Forces of Glasgow wish to extend Easter greetings to our friends and supporters, home and abroad. Christ's sacrifice and trials serve as a constant inspiration to us in our quest to eradicate the evil of capitalism and tyranny.

 

We remain committed to our newest offensive against those who would make us slaves, and we are confident of victory. I personally wish to commend the efforts of our brave fighting men and women, as well as the efforts of our comrades who have joined us in arms. We extend an invitation to our international comrades to support us, and aid the true, socialist will of the Glesgan people in coming to fruition.

 

The President of Zootopolis would have us sit down and discuss peace with the enemy. What he fails to recognise is that there is no peace to be had, for we wish nothing but the complete annihilation of the enemy and his twisted ideology. If he so desires peace, he ought support our military efforts in order to bring about a lasting peace, and the stability South Glesga deserves.

 

We have the so-called Glesgan National Army and its allies on the backfoot. They sit in their high rises and make feeble attempts to shell us, for that is all they are capable of. We extend an offer to the soldiers of the enemy. Lay down your arms and join us. You will be welcomed as a friend among us. Those who fail to take up this offer shall see no mercy. We do not take prisoners.

 

The video ends abruptly.

 

Newsreader: Commander Black's claims of RFG dominance in the conflict have been questioned, with the situation appearing to be more of a stalemate. Up to one-hundred people were killed yesterday near the Anderston border in a shelling attack. There is no definite measure of the total war dead as yet, but even conservative estimates place the number in the thousands.

Edited by Straznicy

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Andyzoot

 

 

Keith Bronson to moderate Zootopolis Presidential Debate

 

Quality TV in partnership with the Zootopolis Government, Aspect Television and INN wish to announce that the moderator for the Presidential Debate in eleven days.

 

The chosen moderator is Keith Bronson, best known to viewers as the host of 'Politics Today' which is broadcast every weekday at 9pm on Quality TV. Mr Bronson has a career in broadcasting spanning thirty years and, in the eyes of Quality TV, will make a fine choice as moderator who will bring to you a fair and balanced debate.

 

We at Quality TV wish Mr Bronson the best of luck in the debate.

 

 

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