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Nationstates "GTA Forums" Regional Discussion

Recommended Posts


We are happy to announce that Today, Friday, March 2, 2012; marks the first international K9K9 sale. The controversial weapon made by Shaffey's SBWRC team was released to the world yesterday and was sold for the first time to a nation outside of the GTA Forums region. The Allied States of Kastingrad ordered 10 Metric Tons of K9K9 for the price of 62,000,000,000 NS Dollars.

Visit the Storefront here: http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=167088

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It has taken pain stakingly long, but last night the Community of Ilovebenderdotcomland's

flag carrier airline Air Bender has been set up.

Air Bender announced last night that they're now

'looking for routes.'



In other news, a PRO was founded for the Community of Ilovebenderdotcomland called MRS (Musician Rights Soeciety.) Upon creation, the MRS was immediately signed into a reciprocal agreement between ASCAP of the US and PRS of the UK.


Edited by ilovebender.com

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Zootopolis calls for end to K9K9 Sale


In the morning briefing at St Bretton's Hall, Zootopolis Press Secretary Claudia Jean was asked what Zootopolis officials thought regarding The Kingdom of Shaffey's recent sale of K9K9 to a nation from outside of the region. Jean responded,


"Obviously, as you all know, we do not comment on matters regarding the nation of Shaffey after our disputes with them in the past. But President Pandazoot wishes to make an exception in this case as he believes that what Shaffey has done may cause a threat to the entire GTAForums region. President Pandazoot feels that as part of the GTAForums cabinet, it is his duty to stand up to Shaffey and show him that he is wrong."


When asked what President Pandazoot planned on doing about Shaffey's actions, Claudia Jean said


"I expect he will be addressing the other nations of the region very soon. He will certainly be consulting with the rest of the cabinet."


Finally, Claudia Jean was asked if she was surprised by President Shaffey selling the K9K9 weapon. She took a long pause before responding,


"Surprised? This is a King who has assassinated a member of our government, started a war with us and had his own people killed. This is a leader whose government spends 25% of it's expenditure on defence and only 1% on welfare. A country where Capital punishment makes up 11% of deaths per year, where the national religion proclaims it's King as a God among men and where innocent civillians disappear overnight. Am I surprised? No, not at all."

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El Zilcho


Tensions Mount Over K9K9 - Condemnations Fly

The international sale of the K9K9 outside of the regulated environment of GTAF has resulted in a volatile atmosphere of condemnations and exclamations directed at the perceived hubris of Shaffey. The controversial nation is publicly marketing the biological/chemical weapon to several nations; while some of them are legitimate and respected players in the international community, as well as allies to Tulija (Yohannes) others are less well verified - this seemingly clumsy spreading of deadly technology with little consideration for security has raised some loud questions in most nations across the region.


Information regarding its production is also being made public; to what level this allows terrorist cells and enemies of GTAF to reproduce the K9K9 formula is unknown. Although as of yet only Zootopolis has officially condemned the sale of K9K9, several opposition movements in Tulija and other smaller groups around GTAF have stated their disgust at the recent debacle. Hugh Daxley has been unavailable for comment; Arthur Kaylor had this to say on the matter:


"Tulija has and always will be for self determination and non-interventionism when within reason - but Shaffey's actions here are reckless. A weapon as powerful and destructive as this will always warrant critiscm and controversy; while we were supportive of allowing intra-regional trade of it the last time this storm blew up, we cannot continue to condone it's sale. This is a dastardly contraption which is now in the hands of several unknown nations of uncertified character. K9K9 should be considerably more controlled. The Cabinet is being assembled on these matters; there will be more discussion on this matter as it develops. That is all."

Minister of the Interior Albert Vermillion has been quoted as calling this "irresponsible" and "a cheap tactic that lowers the prestige of a questionable nation" while others have apparently been surprised by Shaffey's strategy of flogging their most potent and recognisable weapon. James van Praag and Arthur Kaylor have been flown back to Concordancé to arrange the Cabinet's meeting there in order to discuss how to deal with the matter officially.


While the government has been heavy in its criticism, other sectors have been heavier. Zootopolis and Shaffey relations have been poor ever since the assassination of a Zootopolis diplomat, as well as the Shaffeygate Conflict - while these issues were patched up, more recent inflammatory remarks and blatant disrespect on Shaffey's part raised tension to all new levels. Zootopolis' instant condemnation and vocal calling for unity against Shaffey appears to hint at a conscious attempt to re-ignite antagonism and quite possibly reap revenge for the long and embarrassing treatment at the hands of the Shaffeyan diplomatic party. How far these hankerings for open conflict will go (and whether the region will be drawn into yet another war over Shaffey) is yet to be seen; hopefully the newly established Cabinet will intercede before this.

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To: All Nations of the GTA Forums Region

From: Cyrus Poll, Foreign Minister

Dear GTA Forums Region,

It has come to our attention that two members of the cabinet (Zootopolis and Tulija) have openly condemned the international sale of K9K9 by The Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey. We would like to assure you and the rest of the region that K9K9 will not be used against our own region's nations due to the fact that all K9K9 buyers will sign a contract upon receiving their ordered amount of K9K9, I would like to quote section 3.8 of this contract:


3.8: I hereby agree that I will not use K9K9 on any nation allied to The Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey or the Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey herself [...] The use of K9K9 is also forbidden on GTA Forums soil

We hope that this will help calm the region.

Thank you,

Cyrus Poll

**Letter incomplete, connection failed during Transmission**

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El Zilcho

Arthur Kaylor press address:


"While Shaffey's dismissal of the danger is understood and respected, a security council meeting has nonetheless been convened to consider the ramifications of this weapons release. Guarantees of non-aggression are moot once the weapon is in the buyers hands; no clauses can abstain a suitably dangerous power from using this devastating weapon with impunity. While the Directorate has not officially condemned these actions, I personally speak for several in Sovereign Cloister and Whitebrook when I say that their actions needn't be etched in stone to be considered wrong - they are recklessly gallivanting with our regions safety."

Terrence McNaughton of SEN 10 o'clock news:


"I don't see how Mr Kaylor can speak so strongly on matters that haven't even been decided by the Directorate, let alone spoken on by EM Daxley. I find this to be a stark overreaching of his power, a damaging and sensationalist position to take on the trade of a substance he authorised earlier when Tulija's interests didn't appear threatened. It looks to me as if he's trying to make a paper thin stand in order to keep his job; murmurings of discontent aren't exactly murmurings anymore. His words may just come back to haunt him."

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Twitter from an Utsoort Citizen:


What the f*ck is going on? There is green smoke coming out of the factory on the other side of the city and there are cops and f*cking hazmat teams all over this sh*thole of a city. I swear... if that sh*t's that new Gas they've been making... I'll f*cking...



The TV and Radio has been playing classical music all day long now, and they've declared today a holiday. With the f*cking green sh*t in the air, there has got to be something fishy going on with that K9K9 stuff.
Edited by Greenline

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Air Bender to be given the green light?

The Community of Ilovebenderdotcomland's flag carrier airline Air Bender has requested today to operate a service between my capital city and Heleventia (HVT).




Watching some TNA.

The Network Association has requested to join NSBU (NationStates Broadcasting Union) in a vain attempt to report Ilovebenderdotcomland news with in the NSBU.


Edited by ilovebender.com

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The adoption of a regional currency is something which Amsterdon strongly opposes, and we are happy to see other nations share this sentiment. It would endanger and put at risk individual countries' economies and make the region as a whole more susceptible to financial troubles. The proposal to make cannabis legal region-wide is also very worrying. We have very strict drug laws and controlling and preventing the sale and movement of drugs both within our border and across our border would become much harder should such legislation pass.


The sale of the K9K9 weapon outside of GTAF is extremely wreckless and we condemn the Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey for its negligent behaviour which puts the whole region at risk. This shows a total disregard for the safety and well being of nations within the region. The "contract" mentioned has absolutely no power and the fact that it was used to try and give us assurances that the weapon cannot be used against a nation from GTAF is extremely insulting. A piece of paper will not prevent a rogue nation from using the weapon. Has the Shaffey nation even considered the fact that the nations he sells the weapon to may themselves sell the weapon? This is a terrible breach of the region's safety, and in this nation's opinion the most serious threat it has so far faced.


In light of the absolutely abhorent actions by Shaffey and the danger he has put the region in, we feel it is Amsterdon's duty as owners of the K9K9 to share the weapon with the region. We will allow inspectors into our K9K9 facilities in order that the region as a whole can better understand what dangers it potentially faces, and to help combat said dangers. We will also promise to eventually dismantle and destroy all of our own stockpiles of this weapon, leaving Shaffey as the sole possessor in the region.


We demand an immediate end to the sale of the weapon, both within the region and to nations outside of GTAF. Should Shaffey fail to comply with this we see no alternative other than military action. Amsterdon will not allow the threat to persist and whether we stand alone or with allies, we will take whatever action is necessary to ensure the safety of our nation and the region as a whole.

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Nejlepši News Central: Minister of Regional Affairs Vaclav Holub departs for Tulija for K9K9 talks


Today at 19:00, former Federal Council member Vaclav Holub, along with his team of diplomats, leaves for the Tulijan capital of Concordancé as the Minister of Regional Affairs to GTAForums to fulfill his role as mediator in a new regional debate over the sale of the nerve agent K9K9 by the Kingdom of Shaffey.


Since the formation of the GTAForums region, the Federal Republic of Okurka has sought to keep other nations at arm's length, maintaining friendly but cool relations in light of a civil war centered around involvement in foreign affairs. Although the federal government's decision to enter the regional political arena was voted in by a slim majority of the people, many government officials agree it is time to move on and that while they intend to keep the past in mind, the time has come to stop living in it.


Now elected into leading the Ministry of Regional Affairs, the Federal Republic of Okurka has chosen former Federal Council member Vaclav Holub, noted for his soft-spoken demeanor in spite of his pivotal role in politics, as man to lead the Ministry. Shortly before his first trip to handle regional relations, he had this to say:


"Hello my fellow Okurkites. Today I embark on a mission that is the first of our kind as a nation, and that is meddling in the affairs of other countries, and not just our own [chuckles]. It is the utmost honor that the GTAForums region would see it fit that our great, safe, wonderful nation should have a role in ensuring peace and good relations among our neighbors. More than that, it is the utmost honor that you, my fellow citizens, should elect me to handle this responsibility. I have no doubt that discussions regarding the sale of the nerve agent K9K9 by the Kingdom of Shaffey will reach an end beneficial to all parties, even if short term conclusions may not realize such an aim. Together with the Minister of Security from the Empire of Argfenstein, we set down our first footstep on the path to peace and prosperity for all abiding members in GTAForums. Thank you."


In related news, a number of independent sources within the Kingdom of Shaffey have released through blogs and other social media exclamations involving a green gas cloaking the city of Utsoort. More on this as the story unfolds.

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SOS ...*Static*... Leaked...*Static*... Need Help ...*Static*

*Transmission Incomplete*



**Classical Music Stops** State of emergency declared in Shaffey. No reason is needed. We require all citizens to enter the busses in an orderly way and only bring essentials. **Message is constantly repeated**
Edited by Greenline

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El Zilcho

Excerpt from State Journal


K9K9 Outbreak in Utsoort - Hundreds Dead

The volatility of recent tensions has risen further today when the sheer incompetence of Shaffey's biochemical division was shown - despite their recent proclamations of safety standards and assurances of K9K9's containment, Friday brought the first confirmed reports of a large scale leak in central Utsoort. The regime has kept official media quiet on the leak but internet users and underground reporting has placed the casualty numbers somewhere in the region of 200 and 400 as of this morning. Apart from the obvious humanitarian disaster, Shaffey will be conscious of the international ramifications this will bring. The GTAF Cabinet are meeting in Concordancé today, and the timely disaster will undoubtedly further decrease trust in the Shaffeyan leaders and their reassuring comments. The apparent lax regulations on K9K9's storage have been revealed at just the right time to give Shaffey hell; the sanctions are likely to be more serious once the Cabinet have completed their deliberations.


Despite the media lock down, there have been reports of widespread evacuations in Utsoort. How the actual leak came about is also unknown, with a variety of colourful speculations spewing from the internet commentators and conspiracy theorists - terrorists, civil unrest, sabotage, foreign intervention. Until a more concrete explanation is provided (if it ever is) these will continue to cloud stories coming from Utsoort on the situation at hand.

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President Pandazoot surprised many today when he offered aid to the nation of Shaffey. In the wake of their recent K9K9 leak. Speaking at the Liberal Party Conference in Frings, President Pandazoot said despite seeking punishment for King Shaffey, his people took the priority and he would do everything he possibly could to help as many of Shaffey's citizens as possible.


Pandazoot went on to admit that he could not offer much since he had expended a large amount of aid helping the nation of Amsterdon with their recent crisis, but "every little helped." and he called upon other nations of GTAForums to contribute too.


President Pandazoot also promised asylum for citizens of Shaffey who seek it which brought criticism from the leader of the Shadow Cabinet, Cornelius Simpson. He called President Pandazoot's promises "impossible to achieve" and questioned the intelligence of President Pandazoot.


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King Shaffey's Emergency Bunker, Undisclosed Location.


King Shaffey and other important heads of the government gather around in the Bunker's main assembly hall.


"Gentlemen, we are in a state of emergency.", said King Shaffey "Never before have the abilities of the Shaffeyan people been tested on this scale. We must stop this leak, there is no alternative!"


"Your Highness, when will we officially break our silence about the incident?", asks Field Marshal Urgi Horho while adjusting his seat.


King Shaffey: "Soon, General, soon. For now we need to focus on helping ourselves, mainly because no one else in our region, or in the world, has the equipment needed to interact with K9K9 and--"


Professor Booten Ka: "-- Apologies for interrupting you, Your Majesty, it appears that information about the leak has been leaked to other nations through the internet, no secrecy anymore. So, far it seems like Zoots and the Tulijans now have officially reported it, while the Amsterdonians and the Okurkites just mentioned it in their articles about our international sale of K9K9."


Field Marshal Horho: "Damn that Internet! Now Shaffey is gonna get Zoot help... *laughs* ZOOT. HELP. F*CKING ZOOT HELP! Irony at its best, we made this weapon to kill the Zoots with it..."


King Shaffey: "Calm down Field Marshal, and watch your language. Now, as I was saying... *Clears Throat*... Right, as I was saying; Shaffey has the suits and the special Gas Masks needed to do these things, so for now, we're the only ones who can help Shaffey. Let me hand the microphone over to Professor Booten Ka, who will educate us in how he is planning to stop the leak and save Utsoort."


Professor Booten Ka: "Thank you, Sire. So far I have one rather simple plan on how to block the leak. We take Tar and Asphalt and we load them onto a few helicopters. By doing that, we can block the path of the K9K9 and not allow it to exit the K9K9 facility until we can think of a permanent solution."


Jurg Wandero, Chief of the K9K9 HAZMAT team: "Permanent solution? Isn't the facility just going to run out of that gas at some point? So we can just let it empty out its resources instead of wasting money on this "Permanent Solution"."


Professor Booten Ka: "Sadly, it's not that simple. K9K9 is a man-made bacteria, it will, and is, constantly reproducing. Now, we'll just need to fund some research into a"K9K9 killer".


Field Marshal Horho: "And I'll get busy making some medals for the HAZMAT team. *Sigh*


Little did they know that they were being filmed 24/7 by an unknown terrorist group, who leaked the information about this conversation to the whole GTA Forums community through this message. And, due to their isolation, they won't find out for a long while...

Edited by Greenline

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El Zilcho

"StormWatch" (IE9) Executive 'Commodore' Desmond Trevelyan speaking in private to War Office Administrator "S"


Trevelyan: "The legitimacy of these recordings are obviously hard to substantiate; but voice pattern, dialect and accent analysis has come back positive on the majority of the men heard speaking in the leaked transmission. From cross referencing these details with the known spread of K9K9 in the vicinity of Utsoort, it can be ascertained as the truth. K9K9 is reproducing exponentially in the open, and may threaten to escape the metropolitan area of Utsoort within the next few days. Should it spread widely enough it could be caught on an encroaching North Eastern weather front and quite possibly threaten the entirety of Shaffey, and maybe even nearby neighbours. I'd class this outbreak as a red priority; if unchecked it could potentially kill millions. We've already seen the growth of the K9K9 strain increase, and casualties are reaching the thousands as we speak.


I understand my advice on this is extreme, but the response must be accordingly strong if we are to avert imminent disaster. The clumsiness and stupidity of King Shaffey is exemplified by this atrocious breach of security and trust; we can no longer stand idly by while their incompetence spirals out of control. I would advocate a full strike upon Utsoort with a carpet bombing run, followed by ballistic strikes with seeded NV-19 capsules. Nothing must survive."


"S": "You do understand that is simply out of the question. As bracing as the situation looks, I cannot see a nation of that size having no ability to combat such a prevalent threat to their existence. Stepping into their own matters of national security in such a reckless manner would undoubtedly violate our policies of non-interventionism. We must pursue legitimate techniques to combat this menace.


Trevelyan: "The dangers Shaffey face here are substantial; with no potent strike, they could threaten more than just themselves. It could continue into pandemic levels. We simply don't fully understand what we're dealing with here - if the ability for the gas to continue its growth is as strong as it appears, there could be catastrophic consequences."


"S": "We shall see. I'm not authorising any action that drastic without international consensus or until the situation is truly beyond any other methods of saving. As of yet we have too little to go on. I should hope they get their act together before we have to do it for them."

Edited by El Zilcho

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Befuddled Nation Awakens with Killer Hangover


OAAP - NEW OTTERTON In a series of bizarre events that has left an entire city dead, a government in shambles, and - apparently - nearly a calendar month of time simply missing, the Otter Archipelago is suffering its largest existential crisis to date.


Reports have been flooding in from all corners of the nation recently concerning the large block of 'missing time' and just what may have caused it.  People are concerned about the implications. Were we attacked? Was this some clever ploy to exclude us from the cabinet elections?  Do we have to pay our mobile bills for the month?


Senate Representative Flanders is expected to speak before the region later today.



A taped video message broadcast on the region's most popular news network GTAFNN:



My dear friends and fellow nations,


The Archipelago has been through a trying experience.  We're still gathering the pieces, but we wish to share what we know.


On the tenth of February, 2012, Charisma Nettlebaum was murdered. During the autopsy, three doctors exhibited exotic virulent symptoms before succumbing to the same fate as Mr. Nettlebaum. Over the course of the following week, and despite every effort to contain the event, the entire hamlet of Fin Soup fell victim to this attack.  5,674 people were lost.


During this time, the "zombie" outbreak in Amsterdon displayed significant parallels to the symptoms of our own citizens - notably a loss of comprehension and uncontrollable rages. Theories ran rampant, but the senate ran with one and decided to look for help from an unlikely source. 


...and then time gave us the slip.  Now, I'm no scientist, and I realize how odd this may seem to the rest of you,yet hear me out.  We went to bed on February 13th, and woke up on the 4th of March. That's the layman's explanation. Our scientists have determined that no time has actually passed - as they would tell it, the entire Archipelago leaped forward in time.


The implications of this are astonishing in their own right.  Some how, the Otterian leap year was considerably farther reaching this year than ever before.  So not only have we been scrambling to pick up the pieces of a now-cold trail regarding the murder of Mr. Nettlebaum and an entire OA town, but we were conveniently absent for the regional elections.  Not that we would assume the results to have fallen any other way - the Archipelago is extremely happy with all of the appointments and the civilized nature of the entire endeavor.  Congratulations to us all.


A far more pressing side effect of this "leap" is that, for the period we were "out of time," our entire defense grid, automated military, and space program were offline. Not only has this destroyed a lot of our technology, deleted our backup PVR recordings of Desperate Housewives and left at least two astronauts without toilet paper, but the space-based AAFG (anti-aggression field generator) deployed against Shaffey during the Shaffeygate incident has been irreparably damaged.  Furthermore, the one man who could have rebuilt it - Mr. Nettlebaum himself - has been lost to us.


This brings us nearly full circle, friends. The Death of Mr. Nettlebaum was murder most foul.  An independent clinical analysis of the body, graciously ordered by King Shaffey himself, has determined that Nettlebaum, and by extension the entire civilian population of Fin Soup, fell victim to the K9K9 "Deathly Rain" biological weapon.


The implications of this, of course, are far reaching indeed.  We are reaching out to the region to help ensure that those responsible are hunted down, and that justice is swiftly delivered.  While we condemn Shaffey for creating this vile substance in the first place, one thing is clear - before the "leap", Shaffey was for all intents and purposes incapable of such an attack.


Finally, in response to recent events in the region, we have mobilized our military and begun cleanup efforts in conjunctions with Shaffey.  Our automated troops are immune to the weapon, and our recent experience cleaning up after this terrible weapon has given us a unique insight when it comes to its containment.


We've also begun relief efforts. I can assure you all that---{LOUD EXPLOSION, STATIC}


Edited by Otter

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As the Minister of Security of the GTAForums Region, and in the name of the people of Argfenstein, I demand that the Eternal Kingdom of Shaffey ceases to develop this destructive chemical. How can we feel safe in our Nations if they have showed us that they can't even control this weapon themselves?

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Seeing as how the Shaffeyan leadership is seemingly incapacitated and unable to excercise effective control over its own matters we feel it is necessary for the regional community to step in and take swift and decisive action. We propose that if the Shaffeyan government doesn't take critical steps to deal with this terrible disaster within the next 12 hours then we must take action ourselves. The situation is quickly escalating out of control and it musn't be allowed to spread any further, the entire region is at risk here. Shaffey's foolish actions and negligent behaviour got him in this mess, and he must now suffer the consequences.


As owners of the K9K9 ourselves we can attest to the unstable nature of the gas and the potential for it to spread and grow. We recommend levelling the affected area with an unrelenting bombing campaign. We hit it with everything we've got and that should suffocate the gas and prevent it from multiplying. The area is highly populated and casualties will be high, but we see this as the best option on the table. We implore the regional community to take action before it is too late.


We would also like to take this opportunity to categorically deny any Amsterdonian involvement in the Archipelago's recent disaster. Whilst we are happy that the Otters could not participate in the elections and are obviously pleased that such a loathesome country holds no position in the cabinet, we take offense at the suggestion we had involvement in the affair. Whoever was behind the event clearly had their reasons for taking action against them. Perhaps it is a sign to the Archipelago that they shouldn't be so interferring in other nations affairs and perhaps they wouldn't suffer such misfortunes if they didn't act in such a belligerent and intruding manner. Again, Amsterdon would like to state its innocence in this matter and reiterate it had absolutely no involvement in the event.

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OAASA Space Station Zulu Crash Lands in New Otterton




Hot on the heels of the senate investigation into our nation's time paradox, the Otter Archipelago Aeronautics & Space Agency has suffered another catastrophe.  Thought to be yet another effect of the time dilation anomaly, the navigation systems aboard Space Station Zulu incorrectly adjusted for orbital drift and flew directly into the capital city of New Otterton.


The crew, two B-level Automated Exploratory Technicians, and Science Officer Michael B. Drennan, were protected by the emergency ingrav system but suffered serious injuries.  The station itself was largely destroyed in the impact, as was the taco stand that was hit.  Thankfully, Jeordan Ramirez, the proprietor of "Juicy's Fish Tacos" was away on a washroom break.


Space Station Zulu was instrumental in forming the AAFG against Shaffey last year.



Excerpt from "Danny and Dingo's Drive at Five" Radio broadcast:



D:Never a dull day in the Archipelago!

D:Yowza! You got that right! (sound effect: dog howling) Have you heard the latest from Dear Leader?

D:Oh, not that guy again! (sound effect: slide whistle) What's the Demented Despot up to now?

D:Well he puts out a statement denying that he killed Nettlebaum! Only problem - nobody claimed he did!

D:Ouch! A little too quick on the draw there, Herr Amsterdon! You afraid of getting your hand caught in the cookie jar?

D:And have you see the pictures of his daughter?

D:Yowza! (sound effect: spring) I'd take a dose of that Deathly Rain stuff for one night with that!

D: (fake Amsterdonian accent) I'm sure that can be arranged, citizen.  I mean, I hear she doesn't really discriminate! Hey, it's Johnny, the station manager. Johnny?

J: Too soon, guys. Not cool.  (sound effect: slide whistle reverse)





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New secret recordings from the unknown terrorist group:


*Horho enteres King Shaffey's bunker room.*


Field Marshal Horho: Your Highness, we've been given an ultimatum.


King Shaffey: Aha... *reading a magazine*


Field Marshal Horho: This is important, My Leader.


King Shaffey: Yep... *New page*


Field Marshal Horho: K9K9!


King Shaffey: Oh.. eh.. Right, K9K9. My girls can wait... So, what's the deal?


Field Marshal Horho: We've been given an ultimatum, 12 hours. The doctors you sent to The Otter Archipelago, found K9K9 in Nettlebaum's body. The Archipelago skipped a month and Amsterdon wants to bomb the sh*t out of our city.


King Shaffey: The stupidity of that "Supreme" Leader, bombing a city won't kill bacteria... Ugh, we were only allies because I wanted his daughter. Also, who gave us the ultimatum?


Field Marshal Horho: Amsterdon.


King Shaffey: *Sigh*. Get me Booten Ka and the HAZMAT guy, we'll need to stop this gas.


*Horho presses the button on the intercom*


Field Marshal Horho: Attention, Attention! Professor Booten Ka and Jurg Wandero, Professor Booten Ka and Jurg Wandero, please report to the King's Room, Thank you.


*Horho lets go*


*3 minutes later*


Booten Ka: You called us?


King Shaffey: Yes, I need to know how your plans are going and how we can get rid of that gas within the time frame of 12 hours.


Booten Ka: Why 12?


King Shaffey: We've been given an ultimatum. We either control the gas in 12 hours or...


Booten Ka: Or?


King Shaffey: The destroy Utsoort. The city I worked so hard on, the city that even rivals the most modern cities in the world. All the economy was milked for years to make that city the center of my Empire. And now, they want to destroy it.


Booten Ka: *sigh*, I guess I can get the Asphalt and Tar thing going in 12 hours.


King Shaffey: Good, make it International.


Little did they know that it was already international...



A message from Shaffey herself:

To: All Nations of the GTA Forums Region

From: King Shaffey the Great

Subject K9K9 leak


Dear Nations of GTA Forums,

I am happy to announce that our plans regarding the K9K9 leak have been finalized and can be put into action within the next 24 hours.

That is all,

King Shaffey the Great.

Edited by Greenline

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Zootopolis casts doubt on Shaffey tapes


Dean: Thank you all for attending today. Before we start with the questions, I would like to make a small statement. It has come to our attention in the last 48 hours that two recordings claiming to be of King Shaffey and various advisors has leaked onto the internet. A team of analysts have been working on those recordings for the past 30 hours and although there appear to be correlations between the vocal patterns of King Shaffey in the recordings and King Shaffey at various public speaking events. It is the position of the Zootopolis government, including it's President, that the tapes are not, definitely, King Shaffey. I will now take questions.


Q1: Thank you sir. You say there are correlations between the tapes and past recordings of Shaffey. Why are you still not certain that these tapes do indeed contain Shaffey?


Dean: We have been analysing these tapes for nearly a day and a half and believe me, we have some of the latest technology.  Heck, some of our people built this fascinating technology. And so far there is not enough proof to say that it is King Shaffey.


Q2. Would you be willing to give us an estimate of how likely this is King Shaffey on the tape?


Dean: Right now...30%.


Q3. General, what are your next steps with these tapes? Are you still analysing them?


Dean: We are continuing to work on them but unfortunately the sound quality is not very good. We're doing the best we can.


Q4. Putting aside the issue of the tapes now. What are Zootopolis' plans for The Kingdom of Shaffey?


Dean: As President Pandazoot stated at the BLP Conference, aid will be sent to Shaffey to help it's citizens. As well as that, Zootopolis is offering asylum to any Shaffey citizen who wishes to start a new life.


Q5. Has there been any talk of military intervention in Shaffey such as the type that other nations have mentioned?


Dean: The President and I have not had any such talk yet.


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Excerpt from OpenChannel communications with OA relief efforts within Shaftey:



FIELD REPORT UNIT 54455 >> automaton mechanized 125th >> Utsoort casualties high >> antidote preforming reasonably well >> Shaffeyan measures to contain leak underway, appears promising >> no sign of Amsterdonian intervention yet, AA units in place. >> securing political centre in an estimated 4 hours >> OA spirits high


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10 O'clock news




Shaffeyan government finally steps in and takes action to control the desperate situation inside Utsoort.




Courageous action by the Supreme Leader influences the shambolic Shaffeyan regime.




Tensions with the Otter Archipelago increase as the war of words over the events at Fin Soup continues.




Boot production continues to rise




And now you're anchor... Rick De Haan


Good Evening citizens of the Federation. The recent catostrophe inside Utsoort has shown small signs of being brought under control by the Shaffeyan government. They have now begun efforts to contain the spread of the deadly K9K9 gas cloud which is presumed to have leaked from one of the facilities located within Utsoort itself. Why they would locate such a dangerous weapon facility inside such a highly populated area begs a whole host of questions regarding the competency of the Shaffeyan establishment.


There was a large net of uncertainty cast over the situation within Utsoort, with absolutely no information given by the Shaffeyan government. Reports indicated that thousand were dead and that the gas cloud was expanding, nobody knew exactly how far things could escalate or in what time frame. With the rest of the region seemingly sitting on its hands, the Supreme Leader took it upon himself to take brave and decisive action. He threatened the Kingdom of Shaffey with swift action if they did not take suitable measures to try and conrol the situation within a period of 12 hours, believing that if the situation was not soon taken control of then it could pose a serious threat to Amsterdon. It seems the threat worked and gave the Kingdom of Shaffey the encouragement to do something about the impending disaster which threatened the entire region.


It is yet another demonstration of the Supreme Leader's intelligence, strong steel and unshakable resolve which has made the federation so successful under his command.


In other news the Otter Archipelago continues to trade blows with Amsterdon over the events in Fin Soup which seemingly affected the entire country. They have made not so subtle hints that they believe Amsterdon was behind the attack and yet they are too cowardly to admit this publicly. They hide behind ambiguity and smoke screens, yet they cannot fool the leadership of Amsterdon who have made clear and straight rebuttles stating Amsterdon's innocence in the affair.


The Archipelago is a devious and underhanded counry which cannot be trusted, it is also reported that they smell of fish. Upon receiving news of the Otter's cowardly statements citizens were seen rushing to the squares all over Amsterdon and burning Otter Archipelago flags, and hanging effigies of Charisma Nettlebaum. A school in National Area 1 proudly announced it was holding a "we hate the Otter Archipelago day" which was then swiftly made mandatory for all schools in the country upon the realisation that it was a great idea and one which would "build character for the young citizens of Amsterdon".


This has been Rick De Haan, glory to the Federation of Amsterdon! Thankyou and goodnight.

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Da Fuq?

Just wanted to post the link to this tape as it was lost on the last page as the last post: http://www.gtaforums.com/index.php?showtop...st&p=1061129384


New Recordings from the unknown terrorist group:


Professor Booten Ka: Your Highness, we've received a message from the Otterian Relief Teams.


King Shaffey: What. The. f*ck. IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Can't I look at Argfensteinian Girls in peace?


Professor Booten Ka: Can I... You know... Take a look?


King Shaffey: Get your own magazine!


Professor Booten Ka: Right, about the K9K9... Otterian Relief Teams sent this message "FIELD REPORT UNIT 54455 >> automaton mechanized 125th >> Utsoort casualties high >> antidote preforming reasonably well >> Shaffeyan measures to contain leak underway, appears promising >> no sign of Amsterdonian intervention yet, AA units in place. >> securing political centre in an estimated 4 hours >> OA spirits high"


King Shaffey: Good, I'm glad its all going well.


*Professor Booten Ka leaves the room*


*King Shaffey presses intercom button*


King Shaffey: I want my writer in my room.


*Releases button*


Rudolf Ski, Shaffeyan King's Writer: Reporting for duty, Your Highness.


King Shaffey: Start. "Dear Otterian Relief Team, we would like to thank you for you help in the securing of Utsoort. As a sign of my gratitude, I would like to offer you the Islands of Kush and Kashm, to add to your Archipelago. Thank you, K.S."


Rudolf Ski: Done.


King Shaffey: Good, now leave!


*Opens "Lusty 'n' Busty International: Argfenstein"*



To: The Otter Archipelago

From: King Shaffey the Great

Subject: Gratitude

Dear Otterian Relief Team, we would like to thank you for you help in the securing of Utsoort. As a sign of my gratitude, I would like to offer you the Islands of Kush and Kashm, to add to your Archipelago.

Thank you, K.S.

Edited by Greenline

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Shock Jock Duo Face Sponsor Boycott

Radio Hosts "Apologetic" to K9K9 victims


NEW OTTERTON - Notable OA shock jock duo "Danny and Dingo" have reacted to strong public resentment over a volley of jokes about about the recent terrorist attack on Fin Soup. 


"We never meant any harm. If we can't joke about these things, how can we begin to process them," said a rather forlorn Danny.  Dingo added, "my third cousin was one of the victims - we're sorry the general public can't find the lighter side of this."


The duo's comments have also, absurdly, led to heightened international tensions as the people of Amterdon took to the streets to burn the OA flag and hang effigies of the late Mr. Charisma Nettlebaum.


"I'm not sorry about any of that," Danny told told us. "Those poor people are so sheltered from the realities of the world."  Dingo chimed in, "and I meant every word about Herr Amsterdon's daughter! Sproing!"


...the pair were abruptly pulled away from the interview by their station manager at this point.




Continuing Otterian Relief Efforts Successful

Otterian Senate Avoid Wholesale Slaughter at the Hands of the Amsterdonians


NEW OTTERTON - Relief efforts underway in the Deathly Rain afflicted city of Utsoort have been largely successful, according to recent field reports. This comes hot on the heels of an Amsterdonian threat to carpet bomb the city - something most scientist familiar with Deathly Rain agree would have been catastrophic for the entire region, as the resulting debris would spread to all corners of GTAF.


Senate rep. Zooey Flanders spoke out, "We're happy to report that we've been able to treat a large portion of the citizens exposed to this substance.  Our own tragedy has taught us how to swiftly deal with this weapon."  When pressed to comment on the supposed "antidote," Rep. Flanders stated "treating those exposed environmentally is possible. Most of these people - perhaps even as many as twenty percent of the population of Utsoort - will fully recover.  Deathly Rain's efficiacy as a weapon is dependent on direct contact, or what our science teams have been referring to as 4th degree exposure.  The flesh is literally eaten away... it is a terrifying weapon.  We must work, as an international community, to put an end to its production."




Zootopians Question Leaked Shaffey Tapes

International Community Struggles to Find Motive - First Signs of Reborn Shaffeyan Aggression?



King Shaffey Grants OA island Annexation

Finally, Somewhere to Breed Super Otters




transmission>>openchannel5.0>>shaffeyan bunker uncovered>>no sign of the regent>>perhaps at another undisclosed region???>>k9k9plant appears to be contained>>our collection troops have been assisting shaffeyan science officers in completing sweep>>many shaffeyans dead>>direct exposure to k9k9 has catastrophic effect on AT inner workings however OA casualties remain within acceptable parameters>>


Edited by Otter

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El Zilcho

Excerpt from The Custodian


K9K9 Contained - Shaffey "on Brink"

Drama in Shaffey came to an end earlier today when K9K9 was successfully contained; the facility being sealed off and a crisis strike threatened by Amsterdon averted. Although details remain sketchy, the Tulijan Directorate has pledged to cooperate with the Cabinet and other members of the international relief to research into an effective inoculation and/or effective treatment to sanction a weapon as uncontrollable as K9K9 to the annals of history. Mr Kaylor has pledged to work with the extensive medical experts in Tulija to oversee the beginning of operations this week, with requests being made to The Otter Archipelago, Shaffey and Amsterdon to all assist with their hands on experience at the New Buckingham testing facility.


Reports on the situation at hand in Shaffey remain uncertain; although correspondents and official Otterian reports indicate an improvement, Utsoort is still completely devastated and the death tolls are the highest seen in Shaffey since The 500 - Shaffey war. The King (or should we say Fool?) himself has had little to say on the matters and is believed to be holed up in the bunker he fled to at the beginning of the K9K9 fiasco. Hugh Daxley had this to say on the matter:


"It pains me to see the people of Shaffey suffer so much in such an unexplainable disaster - I pledge to assist them alongside the other nations of our region is rebuilding, but I will denounce the further construction of K9K9 and all further attempts to propagate this uncontrollable menace will be blocked. Shaffey have halted their international trade in light of this distraction and as long as this remains their stance no further sanctions will be taken - but I do warn the regime that should they continue the sale or refinement of K9K9 than substantially stronger action will have to be taken."

The Directorate previously backed Cabinet plans to embargo the coasts of Shaffey but the resolution of the situation has rendered those plans obsolete.

Excerpt from Daily Expositor


Otter Archipelago Disaster and Drama

The re-emergence of Tulija's once time foe the Otter Archipelago after the Fin Soup disaster and enigmatic disappearance have been met with astounded and baited breath. The mysterious absence of official loudmouth the Archipelago have been dismissed with strange explanations - the talk of time dilation, quantum effects, or absurd government projects? Whatever the cause for their social silence (but apparent activity beyond the eye of the spot light) insinuates there is more to be seen here than the two line explanation. Regardless of reasoning, the Archieplago is once more embroiled in international affairs. The perpetrators and cause of the K9K9 outbreak within their borders is still unclear; but the fizzy was flying when arch nemesis Amsterdon denounced and denied any involvement in the catastrophic outbreak (in a comical Freudian slip) despite the complete lack of allegation. A further exchange of words and rowdy Otterian celebrity slips of tongue have resulted in relations between the two nations dropping from 'Chilly' to 'Ball Shrinkingly Low' over the last few hours - both sides denouncing and mocking each other directly and indirectly.


Although the amount of K9K9 administered as poison to Mr Nettlebaum is believed to be small, it's exponential growth and subsequent spread on the Island of Fin Soup resulted in the death of thousands - any stronger evidence linking a particular organisation to the killing has subsequently been compounded by the volatile death storm that engulfed the quaint Isle - speculation is rife, but only official owners of the biochemical weapon are currently Amsterdon and Shaffey. This points to a trail of intrigue which could lead to the darkest recesses of our regions machinations...

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Outrage among citizens!


In yet further controversy the Otterian radio presenters "Danny and Dingo" have upset the entire nation with their deplorable remarks on the Federation of Amsterdon's citizenry and the Supreme Leader's serene daughter. Outside broadcasts are banned, however select members of the "Foreign Media Watchdog Agency" were making routine observations of outside media when they came across distressing material which shook them to the core. The insults were incredibly derogatory and offensive, mocking Amsterdon and everything it stands for. The defense minister was quoted off the record as saying:



The bastards have gone too far! We should launch an ICBM at the station which is responsible for this and send them a clear message!


The Ministry of Information and Media (MIM) decided it was in the public interest for people to hear the recordings. The reaction was rather negative, with proud Amsterdonians seething with outrage at the astonishing insults. One man's reaction summed up the general feeling amongst the population:



These Otter Archipelago "radio presenters" if you can even call them that, should apologise immediately then hand themselves over to the Amsterdonian authorities. I would like to see them hang for this, and then their bodies should be put on display as a warning! GLORY TO THE SUPREME LEADER AND GLORY TO THE FEDERATION OF AMSTERDON!


With effigy supplies running low after the rampant scenes involving Nettlebaum burning, people instead made do with posters of the 2 perpetrators. Some people drew devil horns on their heads whilst others made do with the tried and tested "smack them in the face with the shoe" method. Chants of "Death to Dinny and Dango" were heard throughout Amsterdon's streets. A far right radical activist said that he knew people who were going to "Go over to the OA and give [Danny and Dingo] what they deserve". What it is that they "deserve" is unknown, but this reporter would like to wish them good luck and hope they bring honour to the nation.


AO strong arms their way into Shaffey


In a bizzare turn of events the Otter Archipelago sent relief efforts and troops into the Kingdom of Shaffey, even though they didn't have permission to. The Kingdom, known for being incredibly erratic, could have easily engaged the foreign troops which invaded their soil and turned what was meant to be assistance into a small scale war. We call this arrogance on the part of the OA, and weakness by the Shaffeyans for allowing them to just walk into their country.





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Christian Alt Rock Duo Dinny and Dango Brutally Beaten

Suspects drew Amsterdonian imagery on the pair's face, fled the scene



Otterian Science Teams Share Deathly Rain Antidote with Region

K9K9 Manufacturing stock tumbles, effect on Shaffeyan economy uncertain



Otterian Senate Denounces Official Religion

Legislation is again pending regarding the OA's stance on religion, Godlessness on rise



Fringe Group Claims Cloning a Very Real Possibility

Seeks Charisma Nettlebaum's personal effects

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Vice President Valerie Shaw Calls for Calm


Zootopolis Vice President Valerie Shaw was in Bullock today to officially open a brand new University. Afterwards she did a Q&A with many of the students there. The questions ranged from the inane such as what was Vice President Shaw's favourite pop song to the more intriguing such as what her opinion was of the recent activities of Amsterdon, Otter Archipelago, Shaffey and Tulija. Vice President Shaw said,


"Obviously this is a trying time for our region. Tensions are running high due to a series of high profile events and it's easy for some leaders to get worked up. What I'm hoping will happen is that some nations put their concerns on the back-burner right now and remain calm. The events in Shaffey have greatly concerned all of us in the Zootese government and we hope, and the president hopes as Chief Whip, that the citizens of Shaffey are taken of first and foremost."


When asked what the Zootese government was doing for Shaffey, Vice President Shaw proudly responded,


"Well we have officially sent 1.2 million Zoots to Shaffey just this morning. That's 70% of our aid budget. This will go towards helping the citizens of Shaffey."


The leader of the opposition party, Cornelius Simpson, was quick to come out and attack President Pandazoot's cabinet and call this donation of aid to Shaffey 'ludicrous'.

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New Recordings from the Unknown Terrorist Group:


*King Shaffey calls in a meeting in the main Assembly Hall*


King Shaffey: Gentlemen, today we have successfully contained the K9K9 leak. We still have a long way to go, but this step, this step was an amazing effort by the Shaffeyan and the Otterian forces. Field Marshal, Interregional status report.


Field Marshal Horho: Thank you, Your Highness. Zootopolis has donated 1.2 Million Zoots to our Eternal Kingdom --


King Shaffey: What are the exchange rates?


Field Marshal Horho: 1 Zoot is now 0.4422 Trials.


King Shaffey: *Laughs* Continue.


Field Marshal Horho: They expect us to use it for the Utsoortian population. The Archipelago accepted the islands, OA also found an antidote and wants to share it with the region. The brainwashed Amsterdonians said something I couldn't be bothered to listen to, I only remember the bit where they said that the OA entered Shaffey without permission; the stupidity of those extremists.


King Shaffey: Thank you, Field Marshal. I expect all of you to come in for the second meeting at 1200.



12:00, Second Meeting in the Main Assembly Hall.


King Shaffey: Listen up men... Utsoort is stabilized now, but we are far from done. And if you, the Shaffeyan people or anyone else thinks that I will sit here in this bunker while forces from other countries are cleaning up my mess. Well, they are mistaken. I will save my city, my people and my honor. I will step in and take direct action. I will be on the same field as the brave men in the Shaffeyan and the Otterian forces. WE WILL NOT FALTER. WE. ARE. SHAFFEY!... Now, pack your stuff. We're going to Utsoort.


Booten Ka: But Your Highness, it's too dangerous there.


Kings Shaffey: No buts, we will be there and we will take action. IS THAT CLEAR?


All Men: Yes, Your Majesty.



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