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1000 Things We Learnt In Liberty City


Recommended Posts

Vice Beach

238. All of the bosses you meet in Bohan are obnoxious and annoying.

239. Niko is dillusional and thinks Luis was wearing faded jeans and black shoes.

240. Niko also remembers seeing a huge tattoo on Johnny's neck.

241. Luis manages to sleep with San Juan sounds blasting through his house all day and night.

242. Taxi drivers don't seem to care if you pull their passengers out and steal their ride. "Where you goin' hefe?"

243. Luis is in his mid 20's and can only jump 3 inches off the ground while standing still.

244. All cell phones in Liberty City are waterproof.

245. Even though Niko just robbed a bank with 3 Irish mobsters, killed hundreds of cops, and is almost home free, a single patrol officer standing at your window is enough for Niko to call it quits and give it all up.

246. No one needs to ride the bus in Liberty City.

247. Speed limit signs are just decorations.

248. Tourists don't really care that much about Star Junction.

249. Burgers, slaying hookers, and soda pop is good for your health.

250. One African security guard has over 70 shifts city wide and a very busy schedule.

251. Taxi drivers don't care if you smash your elbow through their window on your way to a destination.

252. New Jersey is apparently a tad smaller than Manhattan.

253. Police can't use elevators.

254. Police forgive criminals who take a nap during a chase.

255. Big American flag decals are very popular with urban thugs.

256. ATM's are useless.

257. Millionaires choose to live in small apartments. (With pictures of the guy he killed for the apartment hung everywhere?)

258. Doing any kind of damage to any pedestrian will eventually make them very constipated and run away.

259. Flying a helicopter through downtown Manhattan is no big deal, but flying one to the airport is a no-no.

260. Girlfriends don't mind or seem to notice if you take them out while wearing a ski mask.

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261. Officers know how to jack a vehicle.

262. It's more than funny getting a blowjob from a whore, and then stealing your money back by killing her.

263. Whores will say saying to get their money and your satisfaction.

264. Liberty's heart is a bomb.

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Steinway Hooligan

265- Eating repairs gunshot wounds

266- Strange women that you have a hard time talking to are usually undercover FBI

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Is this good?:



267 No one rides the red rail cars but Niko (i'm not sure what their actually called)

268 Niko never thinks

269 How long can Niko go without j3rking off? tounge.gifmoto_whistle.gif

270 "Man I needed that!" ( I love it when he says that) icon14.gif

271 Niko doesn't wash his clothes after a gunfight, he just changes them

Edited by jlamay
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272. Pedestrians with gloves are the ones that punch fast.

273. Bahama Mamas is actually in GTA IV. (I just noticed that sometime after I bought TBOGT.)

274. The only comedians in the comedy club are Ricky Gervais and Katt Williams.

275. Niko gets blood stains on his outfit but eventually it wears off somehow.

276. There is a pistol on an island in Middle Park dontgetit.gif .

277. Where there's an airvent, there's a way.

278. Pigeons are the only animal species in Liberty City and Alderney.

279. Ray Bulgarin has an army of men.

280. So does Dmitri Rascalov.

281. Maisonette 09 and Hercules are nowhere to be seen in Niko's game. confused.gif

282. There's a parachute on the Statue of Happiness' coffee cup. cool.gif

283. Niko, Johnny, and Luis all have different radio stations.

284. There is a gay rapper.

285. The papparazzi only have cameras.

286. During shootouts in Drug Wars there is some armour that some lazy guy leaves all over the place.

287. Ireland's not the only thing that's green.

288. Eugene Reaper was a gun club member. die.gif

289. Derrick likes "PE4s".

290. Elizabeta Torres gets imprisoned in the ASCF until she dies for drug trafficking. anuj_cop.gif

291. Roman Bellic likes big round American ti*ties.

292. Jacob Huges likes smoking.

293. Jacob also calls smoking in a car with the windows closed, "a hot box".

294. Joni at Maisonette 09 has lots of flase alarms.

295. Sometimes when Joni tells Luis to come to the office, he'll ask "Where's the fire?" but she never said anything about a fire.

296. Dancing is actually really compicated.

297. Playboy X likes the word "money."

298. Johnny Klebitz can change outfits in a matter of minutes, (In the missions Buyer's Market and Blow Your Cover and also Museum Piece and Collector's Item

299. Niko always wheres his bum clothes at random times and coincedentally when meeting up with Johnny or Luis.

300. There is a book called "Madness and Blasphemy" in one of Niko's safehouses.

301. The cops always say "This is your final warning!" when it never is. anuj_cop.gif

302. Niko never gets what's coming to him. muppetmaster_karma.gif

303. Gerald McReary is 35 in 2008.

304. Johnny Klebitz is older then Niko.

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy
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306. Hercules is tiny.

307. When at Maisonette 09 (Club opens at 21:00) and it turns to 21:00 if you're there before 21:00 then Dessie won't be there unless you look away and then back. (Must've slept in sleepy.gif)

308. Eddie Low wonders about masturbating.

309. Cluck Norris is really vulnerable to a car.

310. Lola Del Rio likes hiding.

311. We never know what the name of the U.L. Paper guy is.

312. If you haven't unlocked Alderney before doing "Paper Trail", the helicopter chase will go into Alderney.

313. 6-star wanted levels never have NOoSE tanks.

314. IN fact, they never use them. catspider.gif

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315. People there must have no bladder. Nobody is ever seen using the bathroom.

316. Winter is very long.

317. People like to show them selves getting a handjob in time square.

318. People bleed when they get hit in any area.

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319. Whenever people are punched or shot, the blood always comes out in a "spraying" motion.

320. Some people just want you to get out of their sight, or they'll f*cking kill you.

321. Certain girls named Margot kill themselves.

322. There are lots of gangster pedestrian clones wearing different-coloured sweaters.

323. There are exactly 200 pigeons in the city and Alderney.

324. Nightclub owners and Dominican guys stalk Irish people. sneaky2.gif

325. Running red lights are legal. alien.gifsmile.gifdevil.gif

326. NOoSE tank rampages end easily because the tank catches on fire after 3 explosions. rampage_ani.gif

327. Music can sometimes be distracting during a car chase. music.gif

328. Gambling has its advantages. wink.gif

329. Everyone wants diamonds and heroin. viddy_pirate.gif

330. It is really easy to make $1000.

331. Guards in weapon stores come from nowhere.

332. You're not allowed to shoot the targets in the weapon store.

333. Eddie Low is creepy.

334. Dwayne likes Cluckin' Bell.

335. Little Jacob likes Cluckin' Bell.

336. Roman likes Burger Shot.

337. Packie has a condition so you can't go eating with him. lol.gif

338. Brucie likes The Superstar Cafe.

339. You only sleep for 6 hours, not the recommeded 8 hours of sleep. yawn.gifsleepy.gif

340. Black guys that work at Burger Shot try making the burgers look bad.

Can't think of anything else. facedesk.gif

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341. You can Track someone Down just by looking at there Bleeter

342. You'll Still get a wanted level if a cop hits you

343. You can still die if you free fall in the Middle Park lake

344. Driving at a high speed through the toll booths won't get you a wanted level

345. Every Hobo in Liberty City Are sorry for killing there mommy

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349. Cluckin' Bell rhymes with F*ckin' Hell. devil.gif

350. There are barely any TV shows on TV.

351. Luis' apartment shows Princess Robot Bubblegum.

352. Luis has a Brown Streak action figure on his TV desk.

353. Luis is the only GTA IV era protagonist whose middle name is known.

354. Roman is a fatso. rolleyes.gif

355. Little Jacob and Badman are hardly understandable. alien.gif

356. The LCPD are sexist. anuj_cop.gifanuj_cop.gifanuj_cop.gifanuj_cop.gif Notice there are no girl cops in the emoticons. sly.gif

357. Yusuf is sort-of racist.

358. Vlad is an *sshole.

359. Tom Rivas has heard of Gay Tony.

360. North Broker and South Dukes is full of hoboes.

361. There is a building by Broker-Dukess Expressway that has lots of hoboes on the roofs. lol.gif

362. Packie drinks alot. Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

363. The first Liberty Tree newspaper sucked.

364. Dwayne was suicidal. suicidal.gif

365. It is never Winter in Liberty City.

366. There is a map in a room in Bahama Mamas.

367. Faustin is crazy.

368. Roman likes to go bowling.

369. The firetrucks in Liberty City and Alderney always are Number 69.

370. Lyle Rivas lives near "Michelle's" apartment.

371. Street racers in Liberty City somewhat always want rematches.

372. Your friends other then Brucie don't love Heli Rides.

373. Helitours barely plays a part in the storyline.

374. Armando Torres is related to Elizabeta Torres.

375. Henrique's last name can possibly now be "Bellic". notify.gif

376. Mori Kibbutz is an orange midget.

377. Dardan Petrela hates computers.

378. Roman Bellic blames his cousin for everything.

379. In the bathroom in the Lost Clubhouse there is stuff in the toilet.

380. Gay Tony doesn't really seem gay for some reason.

Since no one is posting here, I'll just continue.

381. Charge Island barely serves purpose in any missions. Only Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend.

382. Happiness Island is only used in 2 missions, Out of Commision/A Revenger's Tragedy, and ...Blog This!

383. Niko is on a diet of burgers and chicken, and soda. barf8bd.gif

384. Colony Island has a cemetary.

385. Lots of Alderney's roads have dead ends, they just end.

386. At one of the police stations on Alderney, if you steal a cop car from there, no one will notice.

387. Ambulances are annoying when you're racing.

388. You can only find nitro powered cars in certain missions. (TBOGT)

389. The FIB are watching you.

390. Ray Boccino is an *sshole to the Lost MC.

391. There's a cop named Mitch.

392. As the black employee at Burger Shot says, "Here's the nasty garbage ya ordered."

393. Niko grabs weapons from his ass.

394. Phil Bell's name in your phonebook is "Bell."

395. Derrick is the oldest McReary brother.

396. Gay Tony wears shorts sometimes.

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy
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397. If you kill the gun owner then his gang will come after you

398. Police suck at shooting

399. The fire department doesn't do anything besides respond

400. The heli tours people are pussy's and don't fight back for their helicopter

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401. You can knock all the coffee cups you want out of the hands of peds and pick them up but... you can't throw them into any of those sidewalk trash barrels. Littering is OK?

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402. A girl will suck your dick, if she'll see that you're aiming a gun at her... (Heard that from a woman pedestrian "Don't kill me!I'll suck your dick")

Edited by pauliux2
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404. Some internet sites have their consequences.

405. There's a guy named Wade, he's called "The Fixer" even though he doesn't fix anything, Niko does.

406. Pedestrians in Liberty City have sticky glue attached to their limbs.

407. Dukes is the borough with most grass area.

408. Acter is where the Lost CLubhouse is.

409. Beechwood City isn't a city, nor is Castle Garden City.

410. The Exchange in Algonquin is the name of the final mission in GTA III.

411. Dukes' residents smell like sh*t.

412. Hobos are crazy.

413. The reptilians are taking over. alien.gif

414. Yusuf Amir has a gold Lycan. He never uses it. sad.gif

415. Yusuf Amir owns a Gold Buzzard, a gold SMG, and a gold Super Drop Diamond.

416. Niko has ugly clothes.

417. Burger Shot has no drive-thrus.

418. James Pegorino's name can be abbreviated to JPEG.

419. A multi-storey construciton site has a gun inside. rampage_ani.gif

420. QUB3D is similar to Tetris.

421. The parking lot at the ASCF makes a great demolition derby rally.

422. No matter how much stuff you do and time goes by, Mallorie and Roman's kid is never born.

423. Perestroika has another building next to it with lots of stairs.

424. A Sanchez turns better then an SUV on dirt.

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy
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425. Niko Never Dies when he jumps from a high altititude into water.

426. If you get stuck on top a building and get out of a wrecked helicopter, you can't go back in it and you'll die instalnlly.

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428:Apparently Niko has an iron stomach

429:If you push a man that is being arrested the cop will compliment you

430:You can perform wonders with phones these days

431:Apparently you can shoot some people in front of everyone and you can call your stalker-lawyer GF and she'll bail you out.

432:Theres atleast 500 channels and nothing to watch except reruns of shows.


434:The Lost are homophobic,but some Lost boys have gay anal verifiyng patches. (an 8-ball is a patch that means you had sex with a man)


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435. You can only date 3 people on Lovemeet. (French Tom (he's gay), Carmen, and Kiki)

436. Elizabeta is the big boss.

437. Some girls talk in the third-person.

438. The Celebinator has blogged about every inch in Liberty City.

439. Francis wants you to kill his own brother.

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Johnny Playert

440. There appears to be a random person moving your cars a couple of inches closer to the road every time you leave your parkingspace.

441. Cabbies are the most retarded drivers around, and they are instructed to change the radio station for the passengers even if they ask 10 times in a row.

442. Apparently, there seem to be strange yellow/pink hovering downwards pointing triangles scattered throughout the city which either let you transport inside a building, OR magically throw you into a movie scene all of a sudden. Weird...

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443. LCPD officers have second jobs, they work as taxi drivers.

444. If you wear a badge, you have the permission to steal whatever vehicle is nearby.

445. The Liberty City subway is always abuzz, just look at how often the trains arrive.

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  • 1 month later...

446. According to the prostitutes of Bohan, Luis Lopez has an extremely small penis.

447. Niko Bellic can survive bailing out of a helicopter straight into a building, but only if he conveniently lands on a ledge.

448. That movie on the ad for CNT still hasn't been on yet

449. Standing on the back of a Benson can cause you to appear in the cargo bay in the back.

450. Between 2001 and 2008 Liberty City changed a helluva lot.

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451. The Rotterdam Tower has a ton of ladders.

452. You can parachute from the Rotterdam Tower to the cup on the Statue of Liberty.

453. It's possible, I did it.

454. At the gas stations, have a bunch of cars there, put down some sticky bombs, fire a rocket and detonate the bombs and you have a big explosion.

455. Ochoa is pronounced "Uh-choe-uh". I thought it was pronounced "Uh-koe-uh" for some reason.

456. The Police Stinger is so frickin' fast. sigh.gif

457. The NOOSE tank, when shooting backwards, gains speed like the 2001 Rhino.

458. Alderney is a sh*thole. icon13.gif

459. The mafia don't seem to give a sh*t after you kill Pegorino.

460. Kate McReary is a horrible girlfriend.

461. It is possible to fall and your legs will be on both sides of a ledge. nervous.gif

462. Cluck Norris isn't epic at all.

463. Bohan is also a sh*thole.

464. Madd Dogg CD's must be worth a fortune.


465. Jerry Kapowitz appeared in an early mission in GTA IV.

466. James Pegorino is an assh*le. muppetmaster_karma.gif

467. Niko is related to Roman who's now related to Mallorie who's related to Henrique.

468. If Niko got a nickel for everyone he killed during GTA IV, he'd have some what near $50 or something.

469. If Johnny got a nickel for everyone he killed during TLAD, he'd have $3. tounge2.gif

470. Roman was lying.

471. Star Junction has a sh*t load of ads and billboards.

472. There is now 69th St.

473. Roman looooves the cockroaches.

474. In an apartment (one where you kidnap Gracie) there are bugs that could really creep someone out. cry.gif

475. In the Deal ending, Roman may not be perfect, he was fat, he was a gambler, he lied to Niko, he's obsessed with boobs, BUT HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE!

476. In the Revenge ending, Kate may not be perfect, she was a virgin, you couldn't have sex with her, she doesn't do anything for you, so yeah she deserved to die.

477. If Luis got a nickel for every bullet he fired, he'd be a $100,000-naire.


478. You can take certain girlfriends to a strip club.

479. Some people from Craplist just give you a discount on clothes, nothing good.

480. In multiplayer, the term "Gouranga'd" exists.

481. Kate... sucks.

482. Niko throws his hat and glasses out the car window every time he enters.

483. The protagonists ar too lazy to bother putting their seatbelt on.

484. Some people you drive with have unique helmets, weird.

485. Peds in multiplayer don't vary at all.

486. Peds in multiplayer are: European guys with gloves, black gangsters (not trying to make a slur or anything), short girls that fight, b*tch girls, old rich-looking men, b*tchy women, and guys that don't fight.

487: You can go on top of some gas stations (i.e. South-west Algonquin, Meadows Park) without helicopters.

488. Luis is the only protag with an "air hockey license" allowing him to play air hockey.

489. Hookers fight.

490. Fat black chicks fight.

491. WKTT can be really funny. lol.gif

492. In cars used by Luis, they replace The Journey with Self Actualization.

493. Some of the songs on radio stations, I hear in YouTube Poops sometimes.

494. America's Next Top Hooker isn't on the in-game TV, too bad. cryani.gif

495. Even if it's GTA IV, we can't see Faustin snort coke.

496. Grenade launchers can explode on impact with any vehicle.

497. Manny Escuela saved the streets after he died.

498. There's no snow. Only cold air.

499. Alderney needs some class!

500. Liberty City is so awesome, you can name 500 things you learnt there; you can show off at school biggrin.gif

501. The Liberty City Gun Club is almost never mentioned in the game itself.

502. Niko gets easily pissed off. angry.gif

503. Michelle is a spy. ph34r.gif

504. Little Jacob'a house is a "hot box".

505. The Deputy Mayor Bryce Dawkins owns an Infernus.

506. Bernie Crane plays Ultimate Disk.

507. Bernie Crane goes jogging.

508. Bernie Crane teaches an aerobics class.

509. Darko Brevic killed Niko's twelve friends for $1000.

510. Niko can get 250 more times as money by doing one mission then Darko made when he just killed twelve people. sarcasm.gif

511. Explosive sniper rifles aren't quiet at all.

512. There is no children in the game yet there is more then one playground. biggrin.gif

513. Almost every business in Liberty City is closed so you can't get inside.

514. Diamonds cost a sh*t load of carats so what does Gay Tony expect?

516. Evan is as gorgeous as the diamonds according to Gay Tony. mercie_blink.gif

517. You can get a trip to Los Santos at the airport.

518. Johnny Klebitz' 37-year-old brother is serving in the Middle East.

519. The Bullet GT is #1 when it comes to doing the swing set glitch. icon14.gif

520. When the front of a Bullet GT is damaged, it can't go up a curb of a sidewalk.

521. Johnny has a crippled friend, Angus.

522. Clay and Terry can provide backup and weapons for you.

523. There is no handicapped people in LC, so it's a non-dangerous place. colgate.gif

524. There's no handicapped parking in the city.

525. LC has lots of gangster guys.

526. Some European guys with gloves may say "Now I may suffer you!" or "I will kick you in the gut!"

527. Badman's real name is Teafore Maxwell-Davies. bored.gif

528. Old guys will go down with one counter attack.

529. In multiplayer, if you respawn, you have an invisible forcefield around you that lasts about 2-5 seconds.

530. G&Y Bagel's Ltd. sign is a little scratched on the "&" so it looks like GaY Bagels.

531. Some girl pedestrians can be real b*tches.

532. Liberty Rock Radio is decent while LCHC is really loud.

533. Johnny Klebitz used to date Ashley Butler.

534. Gerry McReary likes drinking whiskey.

535. Niko scratches his nuts sometimes.

536. Dwayne is a black guy.

537. Playboy X is a black guy.

538. Little Jacob is a black guy.

539. Vlad is a white guy. tounge2.gif

540. Badman is a black guy.

541. Liberty City could possibly be the GTA III map upside down.

542. In multiplayer, morons that stay in a Buzzard trying to kill you for about half an hour can get really annoying. (Trust me, it happened to me last night.)

543. New Years never comes.

544. Girls say "Try some deodorant!" but you can't try any because all the stores are closed.

545. The LCPD never dies. They must be hiring people just so they can have donuts.

546. Princess Robot Bubblegum ads and more ads are at Star Junction.

547. It's possible to land on the razor in Star Junction by parachute.

548. It's also possible to land in the shark's mouth using a parachute.

549. Burgers are healthy for you.

550. The MEtv building is possible to go inside in multiplayer.

551. LC is so awesome, I named 100 things on this post.

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy
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  • 2 weeks later...

552. At the beginning of the game, the only thing big about Roman's life is the cockroaches.

553. Roman exaggerates the facts on a major scale.

554. Niko ruins peoples lives.

555. Niko will do anything for money and that special someone.

556. Packie will invite Niko to rob a bank with him after knowing him for just a few missions.

557. Although the police are supposed to be protecting the civillians, they will run over them just to kill one person: Niko.

558. If you get shot in the chest, eating a hot dog will automatically restore you to full health.

559. Commited a crime? The police will try to catch you until you run too far away from them. They will then let you walk free.

560. Liberty City is New York City minus the speed limits and gun laws.

561. Cops don't care if you are walking around carring a firearm.

562. Cops will always try to kill you if you discharge a firearm, but they don't care if a gang member does so.

563. A soda will restore you to full health.

564. You will kill at least 80 people in-game.




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  • 4 years later...

61. People on multiplayer are NOT your friend.

62. Niko hates birds.

63. Liberty city is so awesome that you can go under the map with a heli.

64. Never trust a mafia gang.

65. Elderly people are rude. (OH I KNEW WE SHOULDNT OF DITCHED THE DRAFT!) Lol.

Niko doesn't hate bird, there's a pigeon flu in the city if you read the whatheydonotwantyoutoknow website,lol.

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Brian Grey

565: the LCPD will spend more time coming up with a nickname then trying to catch the serial killer

Edited by Jason Grey
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