Greenline Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Well, here in the Christian neighborhood in Tehran people are playing loud music, the church is preparing and everyone is getting their fireworks out. And it's snowing too, it's been snowing for the last 5 days non-stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meta187 Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 (edited) I see Strandbeest being used in the final military conflict to commemorate the end of days. just sayin'. merry creest moose, GTAF. Edited December 24, 2011 by meta187 ~ Studio: Q-13 Lounge / Q:13 Warrior Tunes / Interweb Chex Mix, yo.~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 Well, here in the Christian neighborhood in Tehran people are playing loud music... Now we're talkin'! Anyway, where was I? Oh aye. That's right! F*cking GOLD bitches. Try and click it. Go on, I dare you. It doesn't matter if you're an excited child on Christmas Eve or a thirsty redneck eager for a slice of the fat red man to put on a wall-mounted plaque, people around the world tout the skies looking for Santa. According to recent studies and statistics, Santa has 34 hours to deliver his gifts across all the time zones so must speed at 2,924,180mph to deliver presents to everyone. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and such. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. But who am I to judge? Why not track St. Nick yourself, care of the U.S military? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenline Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Interesting statistics, Craig. Merry Christmas, GTAF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punk-in-Drublic Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 I've got all my alcohol in, 2 boxes of beer, various real ales and a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. This is just to last Christmas and Boxing Day haha, I plan on getting twatted on Boxing Day because i've booked the 27th off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted December 24, 2011 Author Share Posted December 24, 2011 I'm quite lucky - as I work nights in a care home, it can be a real struggle to divide the extra holiday shifts fairly. I ended up with both Christmas Day and Boxing Day off, in on the 27th and then back in on the 30th, 31st and the 1st. It sounds horrid at first, but I remember how bad I had it last year and I think of the money. Besides, I do get time with the family and I don't care too much about NYE or anything like that. Oh, and last time I looked, Santa was over Perth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punk-in-Drublic Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 He's in Baghad now, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Bagger Posted December 24, 2011 Share Posted December 24, 2011 Currently in Monaco. Even with the sea apparently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 Tonight, I'm not going to give you anything, because by now you should have had what today is all about already. Call it a cop out, but I want you to remember what today is all about. Be it Jesus or family, I don't care, as long as you spend it as you feel you should. Love the people around you, because there'll be one Christmas you'll look back on fondly. Maybe it's been and gone. Perhaps it's yet to come. I want you to make sure they're as good as each other. Regardless of the year you've had, make this the opportunity to make 2012 a better time. Be generous within your means, make someone else's life a little easier, do one thing a day that scares you and seize life by the testicles. One day we'll all be gone and none of this will matter, so I urge you, please do what you love and love what you do. Thank you for reading, and if you've got even a little bit of enjoyment out of the links I've shared, I'm satisfied. Enjoy the rest of 2011 and I wish you the very best of luck for 2012. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexGTAGamer Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 I bring you all a Christmas present. CHRISTMAS SWEATERS! *Evil laugh* Well I can't complain, I wore one all Christmas Day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adler Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 Happy Fall of the Soviet Union! I wasn't even around to see it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted December 26, 2011 Author Share Posted December 26, 2011 I think that deserves a double gin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meta187 Posted December 26, 2011 Share Posted December 26, 2011 If I didn't mention this earlier this was a very cool idea for a topic, Craig. ~ Studio: Q-13 Lounge / Q:13 Warrior Tunes / Interweb Chex Mix, yo.~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adler Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 If I didn't mention this earlier this was a very cool idea for a topic, Craig. OH right I forgot to say that too. This topic really helped make my Christmas! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhoda Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Thanks all. It was fun, but I'm quite relieved I don't have to think of something every day now, haha. Same time next year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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