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Anger Management


Gundog

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So, yeah... I have nasty anger management issues*. Today, I lashed out at my professor. Kinda regret it now.

 

I was supposed to turn in my notebook for her to grade. Of course, being the lazy bum that I am, I didn't. So she starts giving me some quasi-life lessons, and insinuating that I have become that which I am today because I have family issues. You know, formal insults.

 

After a couple of minutes of her verbal tirade, I literally got up, and told her to f*ck herself right in her face, and slammed the door shut on my way out. Seems cocky. It was, a bit. This was the first one this year, so I kinda got worried. Simply because it was due to some petty nonsense.

 

It's an impulse. I can't control my outbursts. I've been on meds before, and they haven't helped much, but did quite the opposite I'd say.

 

Anyone else have this problem? How do you repress this anger and cope with it? Any funny anegdotes?

 

I either later walk it off, or break something. Also, listening to aggresive music and locking yourself in your mind for a few brief moment helps.

 

*Also, I don't need your seemingly witty remarks on how my actual psychological problem is fictitious because of a non-existant need to enlarge my e-dick, or something. I've had that before.

You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.
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Strangely, whenever I wanted to go for the kitchen knife and stab my brother in the f*cking throat, I found that inflicting physical pain on myself helped. I went up to my room, put on my special mask and punched the wall over and over again. It hurt a lot, but after the pain I felt a rush of euphoria and calm. Much like I always have after a beating. I then lied down on my bed and had a little nap. After that I felt just fine.

 

I am not saying you should self-harm or even punch a wall. But you need a physical outlet for your rage. Just the other day I started battering and stabbing a football, it was very calming for me. The worst part of anger is letting it simmer. In a weird way, telling that woman to go f*ck herself was healthy. But if you've still got rage inside you, find some inanimate object to hurt. I swear, that should make you feel a lot better.

 

But please understand, any anger management techniques should NOT be a way for you to 'learn' how to take abuse. If someone is insulting you, you have a right to attack them in kind. I feel you acted in the right way. And all too often, justifiable displays of rage are seen as some psychological disorder.

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No professional instructor should be pointing out your personal problems in front of an entire class, that's disrespectful.

 

As far as coping with anger, it takes time, focus and will power. I'm in Management and having 30+ people to look after it takes a lot of skill not to lose control.

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Actually, Typhus, now that you do mention it, and I didn't want to because it's not something I want to share with the whole internet... I stumbled upon an... Incident, if I may say so. It was scarring. The image embedded itself deeply into my mind. After witnessing this at a relatively young age, I started punching the wall, hard.

 

I f*cked up my knuckles entirely, but there was no pain. It felt liberating actually. I try to take a calmer approach at these fits nowadays. I usually start listening to Slayer or something, and just think about hurting or breaking something.

I've found that aggresive music, and aggresive thoughts can be really liberating and helpful, even exciting (not in that way) in some cases.

You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.
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Alas, my anger management skills are almost nonexistent. confused.gif I get angry at the drop of a hat sometimes. The only working outlets that I know are breaking things, listening to music (takes a longer time, but it's quicker if there's a lot of punishing guitar solos), and being successful - in other words, if you're good at COD you can boot it up and kick some ass, after which you often feel better.

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You know, that whole calmly breathing and counting to ten thing does actually help a lot. It doesn't really seem like it the first few times you do it, because you're still just seething with rage in your own mind, so you'll get to about 3 and be like, "WHY THE f*ck AM I DOING THIS I SHOULD JUST FLIP OUT", but then you just take a deep breath and start over. Concentrate and focus on counting, and it becomes kind of like thought replacement.

 

The only reason this works is because it's distracting you from reacting to all the negative thoughts, emotions etc. that are running through your mind at the point of anger. The key here is that if you instead try to occupy your mind with something completely meaningless like counting, it actually gives your brain a little time to wind down without chancing anything else kind of setting you off.

 

A lot of the time, when people think they're being "calm", they're actually just sitting there, stewing over things, evaluating, making themselves angrier. You were probably sitting there thinking, "She doesn't have a right to be doing this, how unprofessional, but I'm not going to lower myself," which probably transitioned to, "How dare she do this, this is not fair," and then finally with more external stimuli ( insults to your family ) all of these thoughts become too much and you react to them to try to alleviate the stress and emotions those thoughts introduced.

 

The important thing to realize is that chronologically speaking, when you transition from one thought to another, it's almost instantaneous. So in the course of a split second you could have just evaluated not only that the person making you angry shouldn't be doing this, but that it shouldn't happening to you, that it is unfair, that you cannot do anything about it, etc. That's the catalyst that will make a person react, and it makes sense, because that is a whole lot to try to remain calm about all at once.

 

So, really... Don't try to not react to something. Try to make it so there's nothing to react to. The best way to do that, is by simple things like trying to count to ten or something arbitrary like that. It can be anything really... A friend of mine tries to remember the state capitals in alphabetical order. It won't make you feel better, but it will help with that impulsive reactivity.

 

I had a enormous anger problem as a child. I still do a little bit... I really understand about not being able to stop yourself from acting on impulse like that, but really the only thing you can do is to protect your mind from ever entering that zone. Don't allow yourself to get pissed off. That is not necessarily something you can consciously do, so that's why exercises like counting are useful. The thing is, it's often presented to someone as a "trick", but it actually takes a lot of practice and probably will not work the first few times.

QUOTE (K^2) ...not only is it legal for you to go around with a concealed penis, it requires absolutely no registration!

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goodevening fellow GTAF members i had to do anger managemnet because i was angry after losing at video games biggrin.gif

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goodevening fellow GTAF members i had to do anger managemnet because i was angry after losing at video games biggrin.gif

Welcome to the Forums. This isn't a topic about getting mad at video games. It's more on a personal/professional manner which can affect your life.

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goodevening fellow GTAF members i had to do anger managemnet because i was angry after losing at video games  biggrin.gif

Welcome to the Forums. This isn't a topic about getting mad at video games. It's more on a personal/professional manner which can affect your life.

woops i though we had to share anger management stories blush.gif

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goodevening fellow GTAF members i had to do anger managemnet because i was angry after losing at video games  biggrin.gif

Welcome to the Forums. This isn't a topic about getting mad at video games. It's more on a personal/professional manner which can affect your life.

woops i though we had to share anger management stories blush.gif

I understand that. That's most of us. But there is a significant difference between getting mad at a video game than your peers.

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I consider myself an animated and enthusiastic person, but not to the degree that I'll let anger fester. I used to be though, and found it did me no good to let things rile me. As recent ad this summer, I'd hold on to things until they made my stomach ache and my chest fill with acid. Now, I let them go, knowing I'm better for it and that I'm in a better position to deal with things than those who cause me annoyance. Replacement is a good technique - fill your mind with a positive. Something you enjoy, and I mean enjoy a lot. I combine music with a memory, or a photograph in my mind to help wash negativity away. I look forward to doing it again so much that I wonder why I got so annoyed. Sounds daft, but it works for me and that's all that matters, so f*ck you.

 

Failing that, go to Wikipedia, click "random article" and just start reading.

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I've definitely had problems with anger management over the years, mostly directed towards my family and people close to me. I've also had issues with bottling things up and not doing anything about them until I literally explode, which is never a good thing. I've learned though that you just need to take a deep breath and not take so many things out of proportion, because most of the time that's what the problem is. At least for me, I used to make pretty big deals out of small things which would lead to just making things worse for myself and everyone around me.

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Failing that, go to Wikipedia, click "random article" and just start reading.

icon14.gif I endorse this. Or read the featured article of the day. It totally takes your mind off whatever made you angry and it allows you to play the Wikipedia game with yourself and click random article after article.

 

Your professor is an asswipe though. Firstoff you are in college. What the f*ck is she doing collecting your notebooks? When I was in High School that was even considered ridiculous and I don't think I had a teacher check my notes since 9th or 10th grade. What an unprofessional, useless bitch.

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What? The TV series based on the movie to star Charlie Sheen?? I dunno, since on his Twitter and site, there's another movie featuring, it looks like

 

Anywho, as far as me, nope. I get mad, yeah, but I don't throw a fit, I handle it by cursing people out, even though they're not in the same room! haha

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I've pretty much never had anger problems, in part because my parents have balanced dispositions but mostly because they told me that nobody makes me feel anything except myself and that I have the power to control my emotions.

 

Your teacher is a c*nt and truthfully I applaud your show, but I do hope you come to manage your anger problems. There's nothing good that can come of them.

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My schoolmate has a bit of anger problems, if you'd ask me.

Not that serious though, but actually it can be funny sometimes lol.gif

 

If you'd ask him to explain something you don't understand, he'll explain.

Then if you say something that doesn't add up, he says like 'Noo! Like this!' on a bit of a calm way.

If you don't understand it by then, he gets mad. Kinda annoying sometimes, but the last time such thing happened is already quite a long time ago sleepy.gif

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Your professor is an asswipe though. Firstoff you are in college. What the f*ck is she doing collecting your notebooks? When I was in High School that was even considered ridiculous and I don't think I had a teacher check my notes since 9th or 10th grade. What an unprofessional, useless bitch.

I'll take that as a compliment. Actually, I'm still in high school. Year 11. I flunked my first year.

 

Thanks for all your advice, guys. Really helpful. I think I'll go apologize to this prof on Monday. I mean, I took it personal, while she was just trying to give me some constructive criticism. Combine that with all those little things I keep bottled inside, I exploded.

 

How do your episodes physically manifest?

 

I start nervously bouncing my foot, grinding my teeth, locking my jaw, and pumping my fists. It feels as if there's a fire in my stomach, scorching my lungs from underneath, making me breathe as fast as a dog. The heart races, and your mind starts flashing. I start hearing thuds in my inner ear, and I know that's it, I can't take it anymore. Then, I blow up, and all my veins pop out, looking like cyan tree branches all over my body.

 

f*cked up when you think about it, really.

You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.
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I have issues dealing with anger and not being able to channel it

 

A hypothetical situation would be something occurring that would piss me off, and the person would drive off/get away in such a way that it's impossible for me to react and/or even flip them off or something. Basically, not being able to show my rage.

 

I then have built up anger I can't get rid of, which leads to me feeling powerless and deprived of energy. I have anger that I can't unleash, leaving me angry at myself, but ultimately in such a low, un-energetic mood.

 

But as for anger, I've never been in situations where someones pissed me off like that. Maybe in elementary and junior high, but otherwise I can't recall.

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Your professor is an asswipe though. Firstoff you are in college. What the f*ck is she doing collecting your notebooks? When I was in High School that was even considered ridiculous and I don't think I had a teacher check my notes since 9th or 10th grade. What an unprofessional, useless bitch.

I'll take that as a compliment. Actually, I'm still in high school. Year 11. I flunked my first year.

That's actually quite relieving to hear. When I first checked your age I assumed you'd have just started uni or a college, and I was wondering what kind of institution you were at.

 

I'm going to try and say this without sounding like an asshole, even though I will. You really have to get past this if you're going to go on to further education. Teachers at school are godsends, and you never even realise it when you're there. The amount of sh*t a school teacher will put up with is amazing. But once you're in college or uni the threshold drops dramatically and it slides a lot closer to a sort of colleague relationship rather than strictly student-teacher. They'll just refuse to teach you if they don't think you can be reasonable.

 

Like I said, I really don't want to come of as hostile, but if you find you flip really easily, you need to get it sorted. It'll be hard, but worth it in the end. Good luck with that.

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Learn transcendental thinking/meditation. That way you have more time to process stuff before words come out of your mouth and/or thoughts become actions.

 

I'm serious by the way. Here is a quick brief on TM.

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Learn transcendental thinking/meditation. That way you have more time to process stuff before words come out of your mouth and/or thoughts become actions.

 

I'm serious by the way. Here is a quick brief on TM.

Wow, that actually seems relaxing and enjoyable. I'll go give it a try, today.

 

The thought of inner exploration through meditation sounds really nice. icon14.gif

You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself.
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I 'm a calm guy, never get mad even when provoked, there is a limit for everyone though. Saying this though , put me behind the wheel of a car , I just completely change, i cant stand sh*tty drivers that think they own the road

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I have learned not to mind people that criticize me. I guess I tend to be a little sneaky, I remember when my friends do me wrong and I don't tell them what they did wrong, I do things quietly. I even borrow things to people knowing that I won't get them back and when they ask me to borrow them something again I will remind them of their mistakes.

 

I think that if you start ignoring the little things you will be more capable to control your anger with bigger ones.

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I'm a really calm guy normally and can usually control my anger really well. I guess it's just about not letting things get to you, and not letting them annoy you. I still have the occasional outburst though when things are just going crap.

 

I had some stupid seminar to attend at uni, and for the life of me I couldn't find the bloody building I was supposed to be in. I searched for about 40 minutes, and then wanted to check my e-mails to see if it had changed or something, so I was trying to get in the library. I didn't have my library card with me though, and you need it to get through the turnstyles (Yh how stupid is that). So I tried to sneak in through the "exit only" flap thing which is like those small metal gates you get at supermarkets which block off cash registers that aren't in use.

 

The security guard spots me, and gives me a verbal assault like I'm a terrorist or something and tells me to sign in at the desk and they'll let me in. So I ask if I can sign in, and the woman hands me a three page form that I have to fill in with adress, name, D.O.B, student number, e-mail etc and I didn't have half the info I needed. All this just to get on a f*cking computer and check my bloody e-mails. I was already stressed at not being able to find the building so this just put my blood pressure through the roof and I told them they could both f*ck off then stormed out and slammed the door in a true hissy fit.

 

People must have thought I was a right drama queen/asshole/idiot/nutjob.

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iGrandTheftAuto

I have anger problems, but not as bad as some of you. I'm a pretty calm person, but anything could make me angry easily, and I get frustrated and annoyed easily.

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I warmly welcome a healthy amount of anger, it's the most genuine emotion to possess and present. A heated argument between two parties bears truth in succession, whereas an unrestricted opportunity of constructed thought and word play always leaves the better utiliser of time the victor.

 

As for uncontrollable death-seeking anger, I haven't had much experience. Well, I didn't actually mean to kill her...

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You know that old joke of the anger management class being cancelled? Well guess what happened for my mum when she went to her first day of anger management? Yep it was cancelled.

 

Spent more than an hour on the bus and changing buses to get to the other side of town to where these classes were being held. She arrived only to find it had been cancelled. As you could imagine she erupted like a volcano: "What do you mean anger management class cancelled!? Do you know how f**king long I've been on the f**king bus for to get here!? It's no wonder so many people have anger problems when things like this happen to p**s them off!"

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Typhus is bang on with the suggestion you find an outlet to release your negative energy, i'm a very laid back, passive person but every once in a while i get a build up of raw emotions and tend to just explode not giving a f*ck who i offend/hurt and usually i suffer the consequences. It was a problem when i was younger because i got myself into alot of trouble with these outbursts, these days i've learned to control myself though by, believe it or not, excercise, i find i'm most relaxed after going for a swim, doing the weights, bits of boxing in the gym or a nice run, the more relaxed i am in general means i'm less prone to loose my head.

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Not to boast, but you may not find a more laid back, non angry person, than myself. Then again I have been practicing TM(see earlier post) since I was 12 tounge2.gif .

 

Although, if you almost kill me while I'm on my motorcycle - all bets are off. I have called the sweetest of sweet old ladies 'c*nt bags' right to their faces. I've kicked cars, spit on wind shields, punched windows, and just straight up raged at people. I like to think of it as 'training' for those people. If I scare them enough they just might be a bit more cautions around motorcycles in the future.

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Ever have those rounds in CoD where, no matter what you do, you get slaughtered every goddamn time?!

 

I'm so furious right now, unbelievable angry.gif

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