The Australian

[avito coleone]

 

 

 

 

Introduction

Welcome to The Australian, A pub, located in the middle of nowhere, here on GTAforums, for us Australians to disscuss our off topic current affairs, and to sit back and chat. The idea came to me from various mates of mine who have travelled overseas, got a bit homesick and made way to “The Australian” a pub in London, to sit back and chat with fellow Australians and feel at home. I feel that the gen chat is heavily dominated by USA and UK current affairs. Not meaning nothing by it, I don’t have a problem with it, but I would like a place to post about stuff going on in Australia, and this wouyld be the easiest way to discuss it. However, everyone is welcome to come and post and give your views and opinions on the latest topics of discussion, or to crack a joke, spin a yarn, or increase a sterotype… whatever you fancy. So please, grab a stool, get a skewie and kick back and chat… Oh, and watch the drop bears…

 

 

Punters Club

A big thanks to the USA allowing for their prime fillie, Sarah Jessica Parker, to run in this years Melbourne cup. You could say the old nag was the face of the cup

 

The Bullitan Board

 

current discussion topic updated daily

So Kevin 11, thoughts and comments?

BEER, whats your drink?

 

Joke Board

An Englishman, an Irishman and an Australian walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of bloody joke?"

 

 

One day an english bloke was driving aroung the backblocks of Sydney one day, when he saw a little girl in the paddock next to him. With the little girl was a gigantic bull, that was preparing to gore the little girl. The Pom took action. He slammed on the brakes of his car, jumped out, ran over and jumped the barbed wire fence, grabbed the bull by it's horns, flipped it over and broke it's back.An Aussie reporter saw the whole thing, and after the bull was dead (not being aware that the guy was english) he rushed over to congratulate him. "That was absolutly bloody fantastic mate! It'll make front page news, just give me your details," So the Pom gives him his details. A day later he buys the newspaper and looks at the headline. It reads POMMY BASTARD KILLS CHILDS PET.

 

 

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The American, being intrigued, asked priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. O.K., thank you," said the American. He then travelled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

 

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone. He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

Father, I've travelled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

 

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, mate - it's a local call".

 

 

 

 

Edited November 9, 2011 by avito coleone

[buzbegone]

 

So Kevin 11, thoughts and comments?

Didn't think of something like this so nice work.

 

I've lost all hope in the Labor party since Gillard took power, don't know what it is about them but nearly nothing has gone wrong with them from the carbon tax to the asylum seekers. I mean, what type of leader announces pre-election about no carbon tax then plugs it in further down the track? Unbelievably despicable.

Tony Abbott isn't much better. Judging by the way he handled the Mark Reilly questionnaire over his "sh*t happens" comment, thinking on his feet isn't a well-practiced trait for him and that's just poor, especially for a leader of a federal party.

 

I really didn't see any problem with Kevin Rudd and it was a sad moment to see his outed. He may have been a bit smug but he gets the job done and I sure as sh*t prefer him over that swine Gillard.

[avito coleone]

I find it a hard one to call, I mean with present leaders it really is the bitch and the barstard. I wish Aus politics wasnt so dominated by the two party system in Aus, I wish the Nats would break off from the libs or try and sieze power of the coalition.

 

As for Kevin 11, I find he would be, at the moment, the best figurehead to lead the labour party. However if he does get reinstated, I could also hear the libs political campaign "they cant decided who should run the party, let alone the country". I reckon we should all get behind the mad katter or hockey and get a bit of entertainment out of it.

 

EDIT: Underbelly:razor was the worst underbelly to date. It was a shame they had such a great story to work with.

[Jay]

Nice idea, I approve.

 

Although feeling homesick in London is hard to do, iirc at any one time there's 80,000 Australians there.

[Waddy]

Australians suck tho, you're just convicts and stuff. How you guys even dress yourself is a mystery...

 

Also, when they start making a thread for every other country...its gona have to go

[avito coleone]

 

Nice idea, I approve.

 

Although feeling homesick in London is hard to do, iirc at any one time there's 80,000 Australians there.

Just checked google, best gess population of london is 7 556 900, so take away 80,000 and that leaves 7 476 900.

 

 

Australians suck tho, you're just convicts and stuff. How you guys even dress yourself is a mystery...

 

Also, when they start making a thread for every other country...its gona have to go 

 

Daym... if I curve the topic to a old school CMG for Australians what then....

Edited November 6, 2011 by avito coleone

[Jay]

they

Just tell them no

 

I've been on a forum where the Aus/NZ lounge thread got to beastly proportions without a smidge of spam. It's possible.

 

Suppose a galvanising thing about Auspeeps is beers. I'm a Coopers man, myself.

[avito coleone]

Beers, I am a carlton dry man at the moment. However as summer fast approaches I cant help but drink the new XXXX summers. They are just like a corona but without the need for a citrus injection. What Coopers you be drinking jay?

Edited November 6, 2011 by avito coleone

[buzbegone]

Underbelly:razor was the worst underbelly to date. It was a shame they had such a great story to work with.

Didn't pay any attention to the previous Underbellys but eventually got hooked on Razor about 4 episodes ago. I like it enough to end up on the couch at 8:30 every week but really no basis of comparison.

Don't you go ruining the end for me

[sivispacem]

Aussie beers tastes like piss.

 

*runs*

[Corndawg93]

Aussie beers tastes like piss.

 

*runs*

Mate you can't talk, You drink warm beer

[Jay]

What Coopers you be drinking jay?

Pale Ale, natch.

 

I found a bottle-o that sells Duff beer imported from Germany. Tastes like poo, though.

[Shayan Shaffey]

When Cook found that piece of land in 1770, he had no idea how much he changed the world for the worse

 

Shayan Shaffey Joins Sivispacem in running

[Jay]

Ehh, nice try Shayan.

 

E for Effort.

[Finn 7 five 11]

The whole carbon tax idea has been distorted by everyone, especially both parties.

To be clear, here is an example of what i believe to be going on, i need someone to fill me in.

 

Two companies sell a tv, one of the tv's was much more environmentally friendly than the other one, the eco un-friendly tv gets a larger tax whacked on it, costing more for the consumer to purchase, whereas the eco friendly tv has a smaller tax therefore costing less for the consumer.

 

Am Right?

-----

By the way, it still annoys me to this day how Australia was persecuted by other countries, particularly The US over the Hey Hey its saturday skit.

Retards did not even know what it was concerning.

---

One more thing, you kiwi's are god damn weird, who the f*ck eats meat pies with BBQ sauce?

[Jay]

We're just more endemically racist than other countries. That, and we're a culture that actually has tough skin and doesn't take small things as a slight against one another.

 

The thing that annoyed me the most was the KFC ad when the Windies toured a few summers back. In hindsight, KFC being a large company has to look out for what others think in the states, but in context it was a completely harmless ad. Just because one group of people label something as racist doesn't make it so. It's a case of media trying to kick up sh*t.

 

I maintain that if that American guest on Hey Hey didn't say anything, there wouldn't have been any controversy whatsoever. Again, he was taking the white liberal guilt that Americans feel and was thrusting it on us.

[loony979]

what the flip ADMIN but were awesome so boot of hahaha.LMAO soo cant belive they said that....as the old granny says in GTAIV ped disgusting !!

[Shayan Shaffey]

Ehh, nice try Shayan.

 

E for Effort.

Actually, I just posted that because my profile said that my most active forum is the V forum, and I don't like that. So I came here and posted a few things to fix it.

[buzbegone]

 

Ehh, nice try Shayan.

 

E for Effort.

Actually, I just posted that because my profile said that my most active forum is the V forum, and I don't like that. So I came here and posted a few things to fix it.

People don't go into others' profiles, see GTA V as the most active forum and block you in disgust. If you're going to post here, be on-topic because this is the last safe haven I have on this forum and I don't want to see it locked.

 

 

what the flip ADMIN but were awesome so boot of hahaha.LMAO soo cant belive they said that....as the old granny says in GTAIV  ped disgusting !!    

You lost, sonny? I sure am

 

 

 

We're just more endemically racist than other countries. That, and we're a culture that actually has tough skin and doesn't take small things as a slight against one another.

 

The thing that annoyed me the most was the KFC ad when the Windies toured a few summers back. In hindsight, KFC being a large company has to look out for what others think in the states, but in context it was a completely harmless ad. Just because one group of people label something as racist doesn't make it so. It's a case of media trying to kick up sh*t.

 

I maintain that if that American guest on Hey Hey didn't say anything, there wouldn't have been any controversy whatsoever. Again, he was taking the white liberal guilt that Americans feel and was thrusting it on us.

Agreed. sh*t gets kicked up way too much by the media. Just wish they focused on bigger things rather than petty sh*t like the PM bowing for the Queen.

Last night, the headline the 6:00 pm news was Tiger Woods visiting Australia while the second item was on those 3 diggers killed. I can't trust the commercial channels which pump out shows like: the X Factor, Australia's Got Talent and Dancing With the Stars that get hammed up and frustrate the f*ck out of me.

[Guest]

Doesn't Australia contribute to less than 1% (or 3%) of total carbon in the atmosphere? I don't get why we have to have a carbon tax which will just make everything even more expensive than it already is here.

[Robinski]

I can't trust the commercial channels which pump out shows like: the X Factor, Australia's Got Talent and Dancing With the Stars that get hammed up and frustrate the f*ck out of me.

I love how you guys are on literally the other side of the planet but still have the same sh*tty Saturday night telly as us.

[buzbegone]

I can't trust the commercial channels which pump out shows like: the X Factor, Australia's Got Talent and Dancing With the Stars that get hammed up and frustrate the f*ck out of me.

I love how you guys are on literally the other side of the planet but still have the same sh*tty Saturday night telly as us.

Shows like that are Monday-Friday for us. Don't catch a break 'til Saturday when Doc Martin and Poirot are on

[Jay]

Doesn't Australia contribute to less than 1% (or 3%) of total carbon in the atmosphere? I don't get why we have to have a carbon tax which will just make everything even more expensive than it already is here.

Well you gotta start small. The thinking is that if Australia is able to implement something which in the grand scheme of things is small scale, the model for which we use it can be applied elsewhere in the world.

 

It's just like when Ireland were the first country to ban smoking in pubs. Gotta start somewhere.

 

@Rob: you bet. We have our own versions of Buzzcocks and Mock The Week as well, but they're very tame.

[Vercetti27]

[anus]

What are the living expenses like in Melbourne for a student? Are jobs easy to get and what's the average pay like?

[Jay]

Depending where you look, Melbourne is the most livable city in the world. If you live in or around the CBD (like a bunch of student accommodation is), it'll be great because you don't pay for transport during business hours, iirc ticket inspectors are on trams only after 6, or rarely otherwise.

[mr_bungle]

What a stupid thread, come on you Aussies need to get over yourselves.

 

[avito coleone]

You PI's are welcome here to, I mean, just look at the guren transfers the pitch "war on new zealand" ad on youtube. We are looking at you guys for immigrant processing and for future reasons to have public holidays.

 

Onto the issue of carbon tax, I believe it is nessecary to implement a tax or other similiar stratergy to combat climate change. For to long have western nations controlled third world nation land use to offset our own carbon (save the rainforrests, save orrangotangs, save jungle3s etc) not allowing for those third world countries to develop into places of 'more' equality. (I say more as it is a touchy subject that has many sides and I believe no-one should govern how another country chooses to run its finances). As Australians we should lead the way for something to combat this damage, and while I do not agree with all of the policies I do believe something to that effect should be instated by us, after all we are ballsy cu*^s.

 

To the brits I am glad our beer tastes like piss, it means that our stratergy of pissing in beer and making you guys drinking is working, jokes on you brothers

 

I love melbourne. Its my favourite Australian city. I am currently up to final interviews for CFA and MFB and I really hope that they do give me a job so I can move there. On another note, I have added an english Australian joke on the first post, and was thinking of trying to get some sig banners for this topic made. What you guys think?

[anus]

Depending where you look, Melbourne is the most livable city in the world. If you live in or around the CBD (like a bunch of student accommodation is), it'll be great because you don't pay for transport during business hours, iirc ticket inspectors are on trams only after 6, or rarely otherwise.

How would you say it compares against Adelaide? From what I've seen, Adelaide seems much cheaper to live in than Melbourne, but it just doesn't seem... as lively for some reason.

[Steven.]

 

What are the living expenses like in Melbourne for a student? Are jobs easy to get and what's the average pay like?

Melbourne is a great city with opportunities and migration with private settlement is a bit of tough. There is no lack of Education & Employment in there. The food items are mind blowing.