KaRzY6 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) Superstar Baseballer Created By KaRzY6 Status: Complete Enjoy =D Feedback please Part 1 - Superstar Baseballer Plot: This Mission-Pack is based in Las Venturas, 1996. You Play as Josh Carr, a famous baseballer who plays for the Las Venturas Tigers. Josh is 31 and is starting to lose form. The fans begin to stop loving him. His manager Mr Evans tells Josh that he should retire so he ended on a high, but Josh refuses. He is affaid that he will get sacked. So Josh turns to drugs, and gets arrested after seriously injuring 12 police officer. A unknown person bails him out with $50 000 000. And the rest is to be found out in the missions... Missions: Episode 1 - Fall in career - Career Going Downhill - Train Station Drugs - Bad Name - Sacked Episode 2 - Revenge On Lee Poky - O.C. Snake - Gathering Info - Mansion On Los Santos Hills - End For Lee Poky Complete.. Note: The first episode doesnt have alot of action, but you need to play them to get the storyline. In the second episode theres alot more action. Characters: Josh Carr Age- 31 About- Josh is a famous baseball player for the Las Venturas Tigers. Now he is 31, he is starting to lose form. Resulting in the fans beginning to stop loving him. His Manager Mr Evans wants him to retire but Josh refuses. From- England Mission Featured- ALL Lee PokyAge- 28 About- Lee Poky is a undercover police officer on a mission to stop drugs. He acts as a drug dealer and when someone buys drugs, he arrests them. From- Las Venturas Mission Featured- Train Station Drugs, Bad Name, End For Lee Poky. O.C. SnakeAge- 30 About- O.C. Snake is Josh's best mate. He's a gangster who use to roll with the Creek Banditos and what O.C. stands for is 'unknown'. He has plenty of guns and knows alot of people. O.C Snake's real name is actually Lawrance Flower. From- Los Santos Mission Featured- O.C Snake, Gathering Info, Mansion On The Los Santos Hills. Mr EvansAge- 50 About- Mr Evans is Josh Carr's manager. His first name is 'unknown' and he is a heartless and a lonely man From- Las Venturas Mission Featured- Career Going Downhill, Bad Name, Sacked, Gathering Info. CoachAge- 46 About- He's name is not mentioned in the series. He's not a important character. From- Mexico Mission featured- Sacked Dustin ReffroyAge- 28 About- Dustin Reffroy is the leader of a small gang in Las Venturas called Creek Banditos based in the small suburb of Creek. From- Las Venturas Mission Featured- O.C. Snake James NewtonAge- 38 About- A security guard at the Pyrmaid Hotel. From- Las Venturas Mission featured- Gathering Info. Part 2 - O.C. Snake Story - Exekucnak(encouraged me to make it). Plot: This Part is about O.C. Snake and his time at the ballas. Year 1997, After his time in Las Venturas he decides to return home to Los Santos and starts to roll with the Front Yard Ballas. Missions: Episode 1 - Move to Los Santos - Back To Home Town - Meeting Matthew Episode 2 - At Ballas - Army Guns - Upsetting Vagos - Vagos Revenge - Police Raid - Braking Out Matthew - Grove Trap - Grove Trap Pt. 2 Complete. Characters: O.C. Snake About - He moves to LS after his time at Las Venturas. He then joins the Front Yard Ballas. Age - 31 From - Los Santos Missions Featured - ALL Matthew CarrAbout - Matthew is famous baseballer, Josh Carr's brother. He was adopated into the Carr family. Matt is the very high up in the gang, Front Yard Ballas. Age - 28 From - England Mission Featured - Meeting Matthew, Army Guns, Upsetting Vagos, Vagos Revenge, Police Raid, Braking Out Matthew, Grove Trap, Grove Trap Pt. 2. Josh CarrAbout - Josh becomes the coach of the Las Venturas Tigers. Age - 32 From - England Mission Featured - Back To Home Town Luke FlowerAbout - Luke is O.C Snake's brother, He lives in Grove Street with other brother Jacob. Luke's mum moved to Vice City 2 years ago and never contacted them again. Age - 25 From - Los Santos Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2. Jacob FlowerAbout - Same as Luke's ^^^ Age - 27 From - Los Santos Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2. Big SmokeAbout - Big Smoke is the leader of the Grove Street Familes. Age - 33 From - Los Santos Mission Featured - Grove Trap Pt. 2. Feedback wanted Reviews by SatournFan Part 1 - Mission 1 Part 1 - Mission 2 Part 1 - Mission 3 Part 1 - Mission 4 Reviews by AznKei Part 1 - Missions 1 and 2 Part 1 - Mission 3 and 4 Part 2 - Mission 1 and 2 Edited November 24, 2011 by KaRzY6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 Series completed YAYYY!!!! Play the missions and give me feddback so i can improve for my next series. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamiTR Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 (edited) Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it. Thank you. hope you enjoy it Edited October 27, 2011 by KaRzY6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exekucnak Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10 The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect Very nice, thanks man. That feedback will help me do you think i should make an episode 3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exekucnak Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission... I have an idea. I could make a story about O.C. Snake moving to LS and becoming a balla. what you wreckon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exekucnak Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Try it But make it here, don't start another thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 (edited) Try it But make it here, don't start another thread I was planning on doing that, i'll just make a section at the bottom. I featured your name. Edited October 27, 2011 by KaRzY6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamiTR Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out! Thanks so much. its good knowing that someone thinks im a good designer. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 Part 2; Episode 1 is complete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notna Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM. I'll play them maybe in the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM. I'll play them maybe in the weekend. Thank you Notna. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Mission-Pack is complete!!!!!!!! play and give feedback please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamiTR Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. Thank you Juan-R. What do you mean by 'dedication'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exekucnak Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback Thanks bro. yeah i've been working on it like afterschool for the last couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RamiTR Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. Thank you Juan-R. What do you mean by 'dedication'? That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. Thank you Juan-R. What do you mean by 'dedication'? That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro Oh yeah, thanks hehe do you think i'm a okay designer, for that i have only been designing for about 2-3 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exekucnak Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10 + Good characters + Last mission + Good gameplay - Lenght of some missions - Strange story end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 5, 2011 Author Share Posted November 5, 2011 I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10+ Good characters + Last mission + Good gameplay - Lenght of some missions - Strange story end Well i had to make OC Snake die because in the mission 'End for Lee Poky' i said that OC Snake got killed by Grove street. So yeah. EDIT: Oh yeah, and thanks for the feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Topic Updated Review by Satournfan has been added. i'll add them in every new video he makes. But i will not keep making topic updates, this is the only one. So you know that reviews are on the main topic. thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john12 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 BUMP Sorry Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 BUMP Sorry Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. Thanks bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john12 Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. Edited December 5, 2011 by john12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaRzY6 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. Thanks bro Hope you like the next part Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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