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KaRzY6

Superstar Baseballer

Recommended Posts

KaRzY6

Superstar Baseballer Created By KaRzY6

 

Status: Complete

 

Enjoy =D

Feedback please

 

Part 1 - Superstar Baseballer

 

user posted image

 

Plot:

This Mission-Pack is based in Las Venturas, 1996. You Play as Josh Carr, a famous baseballer who plays for the Las Venturas Tigers. Josh is 31 and is starting to lose form. The fans begin to stop loving him. His manager Mr Evans tells Josh that he should retire so he ended on a high, but Josh refuses. He is affaid that he will get sacked. So Josh turns to drugs, and gets arrested after seriously injuring 12 police officer. A unknown person bails him out with $50 000 000. And the rest is to be found out in the missions...

 

Missions:

 

Episode 1 - Fall in career

- Career Going Downhill

- Train Station Drugs

- Bad Name

- Sacked

Episode 2 - Revenge On Lee Poky

- O.C. Snake

- Gathering Info

- Mansion On Los Santos Hills

- End For Lee Poky

 

Complete.. colgate.gif

 

Note: The first episode doesnt have alot of action, but you need to play them to get the storyline. In the second episode theres alot more action. tounge.gif

 

 

Characters:

  • Josh Carr

    Age- 31

    About- Josh is a famous baseball player for the Las Venturas Tigers. Now he is 31, he is starting to lose form. Resulting in the fans beginning to stop loving him. His Manager Mr Evans wants him to retire but Josh refuses.

    From- England

    Mission Featured- ALL

  • Lee Poky

    Age- 28

    About- Lee Poky is a undercover police officer on a mission to stop drugs. He acts as a drug dealer and when someone buys drugs, he arrests them.

    From- Las Venturas

    Mission Featured- Train Station Drugs, Bad Name, End For Lee Poky.

  • O.C. Snake

    Age- 30

    About- O.C. Snake is Josh's best mate. He's a gangster who use to roll with the Creek Banditos and what O.C. stands for is 'unknown'. He has plenty of guns and knows alot of people. O.C Snake's real name is actually Lawrance Flower.

    From- Los Santos

    Mission Featured- O.C Snake, Gathering Info, Mansion On The Los Santos Hills.

  • Mr Evans

    Age- 50

    About- Mr Evans is Josh Carr's manager. His first name is 'unknown' and he is a heartless and a lonely man

    From- Las Venturas

    Mission Featured- Career Going Downhill, Bad Name, Sacked, Gathering Info.

  • Coach

    Age- 46

    About- He's name is not mentioned in the series. He's not a important character.

    From- Mexico

    Mission featured- Sacked

  • Dustin Reffroy

    Age- 28

    About- Dustin Reffroy is the leader of a small gang in Las Venturas called Creek Banditos based in the small suburb of Creek.

    From- Las Venturas

    Mission Featured- O.C. Snake

  • James Newton

    Age- 38

    About- A security guard at the Pyrmaid Hotel.

    From- Las Venturas

    Mission featured- Gathering Info.

Part 2 - O.C. Snake Story - Exekucnak(encouraged me to make it).

 

user posted image

 

Plot:

This Part is about O.C. Snake and his time at the ballas. Year 1997, After his time in Las Venturas he decides to return home to Los Santos and starts to roll with the Front Yard Ballas.

 

Missions:

Episode 1 - Move to Los Santos

- Back To Home Town

- Meeting Matthew

Episode 2 - At Ballas

- Army Guns

- Upsetting Vagos

- Vagos Revenge

- Police Raid

- Braking Out Matthew

- Grove Trap

- Grove Trap Pt. 2

 

Complete. smile.gif

 

Characters:

  • O.C. Snake

    About - He moves to LS after his time at Las Venturas. He then joins the Front Yard Ballas.

    Age - 31

    From - Los Santos

    Missions Featured - ALL

  • Matthew Carr

    About - Matthew is famous baseballer, Josh Carr's brother. He was adopated into the Carr family. Matt is the very high up in the gang, Front Yard Ballas.

    Age - 28

    From - England

    Mission Featured - Meeting Matthew, Army Guns, Upsetting Vagos, Vagos Revenge, Police Raid, Braking Out Matthew, Grove Trap, Grove Trap Pt. 2.

  • Josh Carr

    About - Josh becomes the coach of the Las Venturas Tigers.

    Age - 32

    From - England

    Mission Featured - Back To Home Town

  • Luke Flower

    About - Luke is O.C Snake's brother, He lives in Grove Street with other brother Jacob. Luke's mum moved to Vice City 2 years ago and never contacted them again.

    Age - 25

    From - Los Santos

    Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2.

  • Jacob Flower

    About - Same as Luke's ^^^

    Age - 27

    From - Los Santos

    Mission Featured - Army Guns, Grove Trap Pt. 2.

  • Big Smoke

    About - Big Smoke is the leader of the Grove Street Familes.

    Age - 33

    From - Los Santos

    Mission Featured - Grove Trap Pt. 2.

Feedback wanted biggrin.gif

 

Reviews by SatournFan

Part 1 - Mission 1

 

Part 1 - Mission 2

 

Part 1 - Mission 3

 

Part 1 - Mission 4

 

 

Reviews by AznKei

Part 1 - Missions 1 and 2

 

Part 1 - Mission 3 and 4

 

Part 2 - Mission 1 and 2

 

Edited by KaRzY6

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KaRzY6

Series completed colgate.gif

 

YAYYY!!!!

 

Play the missions and give me feddback so i can improve for my next series. biggrin.gif

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BeamerBoyCarlos

Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it. smile.gif

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KaRzY6

 

Seems like a nice series, I'll try it out when I find time. I'll post feedback when I finish it.  smile.gif

Thank you. colgate.gif hope you enjoy it

Edited by KaRzY6

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Exekucnak

Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10

The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect icon14.gif

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KaRzY6
Ok, I played all the missions and I would rate them with 7.5/10

The story was good, but you could made it much more longer, the thing I like the most about your mission-pack was lenght of some missions like Train Station Drugs, Gathering Info, but you could also made some missions longer(Mansion On Los Santos Hills). You can also add color and capital letters to cutscenes, it will look much better then. But the mission-pack was very nice and the idea is perfect icon14.gif

Very nice, thanks man. That feedback will help me colgate.gif do you think i should make an episode 3?

 

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Exekucnak

 

You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission...

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KaRzY6
You should, the problem is, that you already exit the story in the last mission...

I have an idea. I could make a story about O.C. Snake moving to LS and becoming a balla. colgate.gif what you wreckon?

 

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Exekucnak

Try it icon14.gif But make it here, don't start another thread

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KaRzY6

 

Try it icon14.gif But make it here, don't start another thread

I was planning on doing that, i'll just make a section at the bottom. colgate.gif

 

I featured your name. smile.gif

Edited by KaRzY6

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BeamerBoyCarlos

Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out!

 

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KaRzY6
Just got done playing it and oh my god, I can reallly say you are a greta designer for being a rookie. Good luck on your continuation on this series. I'll sure play it when it comes out!

Thanks so much. colgate.gif its good knowing that someone thinks im a good designer. Thanks biggrin.gif

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KaRzY6

Part 2; Episode 1 is complete colgate.gif

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Notna

I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM.

 

I'll play them maybe in the weekend.

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KaRzY6
I will play your missions for sure sometime, but I've had so many things to do and I just don't have time for DYOM.

 

I'll play them maybe in the weekend.

Thank you Notna. colgate.gif

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KaRzY6

Mission-Pack is complete!!!!!!!! play and give feedback please biggrin.gif

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BeamerBoyCarlos

Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. icon14.gif

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KaRzY6
Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon. icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

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Exekucnak

Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback icon14.gif

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KaRzY6
Finally you complete it,I will play the pack today or tomorrow and give you feedback icon14.gif

Thanks bro. biggrin.gif yeah i've been working on it like afterschool for the last couple of days. colgate.gif

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BeamerBoyCarlos

 

Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon.  icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro sly.gif

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KaRzY6
Nice dedication to your series, bro. I'ma play it and give feedback sometimes soon.  icon14.gif

Thank you Juan-R. biggrin.gif What do you mean by 'dedication'? smile.gif

That you didn't drop this series, in fact, you continued it 'till it had a firm closure! Good luck on your future missions, bro sly.gif

Oh yeah, thanks hehe biggrin.gif

 

do you think i'm a okay designer, for that i have only been designing for about 2-3 weeks.

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Exekucnak

I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10

+ Good characters

+ Last mission

+ Good gameplay

- Lenght of some missions

- Strange story end

 

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KaRzY6

 

I finished playing O.C. Snake's story and I would rate it with 7.0/10

+ Good characters

+ Last mission

+ Good gameplay

- Lenght of some missions

- Strange story end

 

Well i had to make OC Snake die because in the mission 'End for Lee Poky' i said that OC Snake got killed by Grove street. So yeah. biggrin.gif

 

EDIT: Oh yeah, and thanks for the feedback colgate.gif

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KaRzY6

Topic Updated

 

Review by Satournfan has been added. i'll add them in every new video he makes. But i will not keep making topic updates, this is the only one. So you know that reviews are on the main topic.

 

thanks. biggrin.gif

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john12

BUMP Sorry sad.gif

 

Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. sad.gif

 

Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. biggrin.gif

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KaRzY6
BUMP Sorry sad.gif

 

Downloaded the missions and feedback for sure! I already played this but forgot about it, sorry. sad.gif

 

Never Mind! Wait for the feedback, bro. biggrin.gif

Thanks bro biggrin.gif

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john12

Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions

 

Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. icon14.gif

 

I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. cool.gif

Edited by john12

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KaRzY6
Here's part 1 mission 1, 4 missions

 

Really nice story. Use colour/color texting for more improvement otherwise, excellent job. icon14.gif

 

I saw the page and it seems that this forum has contributed alot for you by giving a helping hand and people completing your request. No offence. Good luck and wait for other missions feedback too. cool.gif

Thanks bro smile.gif Hope you like the next part biggrin.gif

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