The Love Connection

[ska]

 

 

So without further adieu, may I present The Love Connection, a thread for relationship advice and help/knowledge.

 

Seeing as how there have been numerous recent threads regarding preparing for dates, relationship troubles, or just general help; I thought it would be a good idea if we had a thread to cover all of those bases in a more serious matter than seen in some of the other discussions lately. More or less, a place for more meaningful help. Jokes and whatnot are fine, but try to keep them to a minimum to avoid flaming/off-topicness.

 

Let's get started.

[GTAXtreme.]

How much did this take for you to compile?

[okei]

so an old ex of mine who told me to f*ck off and i never heard from her again recently contacted me and we started talking again, does this mean she wants my cock, and how do you deal with a bitch who has a bit of an attitude, do i become the master pimp and bitchslap dat hoe?

[El Zilcho]

Don't let her get used to crawling all over you, show her you've got backbone (if you do indeed have some). Although I've got a feeling you might be joking.

[Law0070]

she picks up contact with you => she wants your cock

 

if that's your way of thinking I feel sorry for quite a lot of women

between a male and a female can be more but sex...Something like "friendship" (with benefits, eventually ;D)

 

and mehh, some women with an attitude aren't really like that, it's often a kind of mask to hide their lack of self confidence...

 

and anyways, why would you return to her? it's an old ex you had quite a mess with apparantly (regarding the "never talk again")

[Swoorup]

Before saying her a bitch, think of yourself first. Have you done anything lately with other females?

Think about it and ask her what is the problem?

Then post here!

 

[GTAXtreme.]

What is most likely the worst thing that can happen if both of our parents come to know of this?

[NaidRaida]

 

so an old ex of mine who told me to f*ck off and i never heard from her again recently contacted me and we started talking again, does this mean she wants my cock, and how do you deal with a bitch who has a bit of an attitude, do i become the master pimp and bitchslap dat hoe?

Of course, of course.

 

Every girl on this whole planet wants only cock if calling surprisingly and nice talking. Didn´t you already know that? I´m confused. This is why I am manager of a callcenter you know.

 

You are talking a crap.

 

My relationship advice for you: Leave the girls alone for a while and read a book.

Edited September 7, 2011 by NaidRaida

[Lithium]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

[Kevin...]

I am married. I can no longer f*ck other women without getting murdered by my pregnant wife or getting a divorce. I am not a cunning man so sneaking around behind her back is out of the question.

 

Just saying this now, don't ask for advice from me. It will only get you use to hearing:

 

"Honey, come rub my back."

"No, you cook me dinner. I'm your wife, not your slave."

"Go bother daddy. Mommy wants to sleep."

 

 

 

 

lol

[WF the Hobgoblin]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

If you have to ask other people then I'd say no, you shouldn't.

[NaidRaida]

 

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

Yes do it. Cause then you come back later and say:

 

 

I am married. I can no longer f*ck other women without getting murdered by my pregnant wife or getting a divorce. I am not a cunning man so sneaking around behind her back is out of the question.

 

Just saying this now, don't ask for advice from me. It will only get you use to hearing:

 

"Honey, come rub my back."

"No, you cook me dinner. I'm your wife, not your slave."

"Go bother daddy. Mommy wants to sleep."

And I have to lol again really hard. Nice post Kevin.

 

---

 

Seriously:

I hear only bad things from married men/friends but if you love her and she wants you... take her. What are you thinking about. I´m romantic.

 

[Lithium]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

If you have to ask other people then I'd say no, you shouldn't.

It was more of a joke than anything. Theres very few people on this forum I would listen to/heed advice from when it comes to life changing matters.

 

With the broken english in here so far, I wouldn't even ask these people what kind of dog I should get.

[WF the Hobgoblin]

Even so, I struggle to see the upsides to marriage. So I reckon one shouldn't do it unless they really, really want to.

[Swoorup]

I agree every girls on this planet wanting only cocks. But thats just a fantasy and that necessarily does not make them a bitch. We too fantasize about having pleasure with a female with attractive appearance and body. And that does not make us a player.

[Typhus]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

No. Marriage is a cage and eventually you will resent this woman for keeping you from doing what you want. At a certain age, women want to get with a free spirit. But as they grow older, they want the safe option. They want a man they can domesticate and change so they can kid themselves that they're some fairy princess who's found their Prince Charming.

Men who get married eventually end up whoring out their individuality to keep the missus happy. The whole institution of marriage is a sham. Relationships are often fickle and based on heated emotions, easily stirred but easily extinguished. Yet marriage proclaims to make these feelings constant and lifelong.

It's a falsehood, it doesn't work. Keep your freedom, don't get married.

Relationships should be about a man and a woman being equal. Not some woman having a 'special day' whilst you just get shoved around and told what to say like a damn slave.

[Lithium]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

No. Marriage is a cage and eventually you will resent this woman for keeping you from doing what you want. At a certain age, women want to get with a free spirit. But as they grow older, they want the safe option. They want a man they can domesticate and change so they can kid themselves that they're some fairy princess who's found their Prince Charming.

Men who get married eventually end up whoring out their individuality to keep the missus happy. The whole institution of marriage is a sham. Relationships are often fickle and based on heated emotions, easily stirred but easily extinguished. Yet marriage proclaims to make these feelings constant and lifelong.

It's a falsehood, it doesn't work. Keep your freedom, don't get married.

Relationships should be about a man and a woman being equal. Not some woman having a 'special day' whilst you just get shoved around and told what to say like a damn slave.

Says the single guy.

[Typhus]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

No. Marriage is a cage and eventually you will resent this woman for keeping you from doing what you want. At a certain age, women want to get with a free spirit. But as they grow older, they want the safe option. They want a man they can domesticate and change so they can kid themselves that they're some fairy princess who's found their Prince Charming.

Men who get married eventually end up whoring out their individuality to keep the missus happy. The whole institution of marriage is a sham. Relationships are often fickle and based on heated emotions, easily stirred but easily extinguished. Yet marriage proclaims to make these feelings constant and lifelong.

It's a falsehood, it doesn't work. Keep your freedom, don't get married.

Relationships should be about a man and a woman being equal. Not some woman having a 'special day' whilst you just get shoved around and told what to say like a damn slave.

Says the single guy.

The typical response of someone who has heard the truth and just doesn't like it. For shame.

[Lithium]

 

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

No. Marriage is a cage and eventually you will resent this woman for keeping you from doing what you want. At a certain age, women want to get with a free spirit. But as they grow older, they want the safe option. They want a man they can domesticate and change so they can kid themselves that they're some fairy princess who's found their Prince Charming.

Men who get married eventually end up whoring out their individuality to keep the missus happy. The whole institution of marriage is a sham. Relationships are often fickle and based on heated emotions, easily stirred but easily extinguished. Yet marriage proclaims to make these feelings constant and lifelong.

It's a falsehood, it doesn't work. Keep your freedom, don't get married.

Relationships should be about a man and a woman being equal. Not some woman having a 'special day' whilst you just get shoved around and told what to say like a damn slave.

Says the single guy.

The typical response of someone who has heard the truth and just doesn't like it. For shame.

I always say to each their own. Everyone has their own opinion, and I just read yours which I don't agree with, that's all. I assume Kev wouldn't either since he's recently married.

 

I do appreciate your input though.

[NaidRaida]

Typhus sound a bit cold hearted if his statement was made of serious minds but his logic is well. A marriage is an unnatural thing although I like romantic stuff as well.

 

Freedom is nice but when I consider my grandparents for example, they are marriaged for most time of their life and this earns my respect. And I think that´s not a bad thing to keep the relationship

to one specific person although this seems to run out of fashion today. Punch me as a looser, I don´t care but... it´s not all about sex, but much. There´s more I hope. Didn´t find it yet.

 

But I would never say "don´t marry". Maybe YOU will find "the more".

[GTAXtreme.]

Typhus sound a bit cold hearted if his statement was made of serious minds but his logic is well. A marriage is an unnatural thing although I like romantic stuff as well.

 

There is nothing which says "No Romance after marriage" until you are a happy couple. Sometime I become sick seeing people fight over martial reasons. The logic still doesn't seem unnatural.

[A J]

I feel married but I'm not.

 

Although I love my girlfriend, I am getting sick of her ways, her constant requirements for me to remind her how pretty she is, and not to appreciate any other girl is damn annoying, her control over me is damn annoying too, gaming to her is like the worst thing I could ever do, and my ps3 is lucky to still be working, after being thrown at a wall, kicked and had soup chucked all over it. These stem from an irrational temper, and there was once a time I had to lie about how I got scratches on my face and bruises over my arms.

 

Now I'm still her with despite all this, I think its down to my very low self esteem (sucks to be an awkward shy ugly guy), she is incredibly pretty and at times the perfect girlfriend,, seriously I've been to parties, and overheard people saying how is he, with her?

 

So anyways over a year ago, we kind of broke up, I decided to get back in touch with a really nice girl I had met and felt a connection with during a trip, did this through facebook, for which my girlfriend had known my password, so i changed it. Then her insecurities kicked in, demanded she know my password again and what was I up to? I reassured her, nothing was going on and that she take my word for it, truthfully nothing was going on, I simple messaged a girl as a friend to ask how she was and if she still remembered me! GF hacks my account, she appeared calmed down, and innocently asked what was my first pets name? Which must have been a security question for my email, by this stage I had completely forgot about this whole scenario, the girl had messaged me back, but the conversation didnt persist (she was just someone I met, and added nothing more). She logged in, saw these messages, obsessed over this girl and basically accused me of having an affair, I swear every time we had a dispute after that, it was always why dont you message “Maria” over facebook?

 

So to an extent, this girl on facebook I had just met the once, becomes someone I am supposedly in love with (according to my girlfriend), the more my girlfriend argued with me about it, the more I thought about this other girl. Let me talk a little more about this other girl, she was kind, she came to me and spoke to me, girls dont normally do this, especially not very pretty girls, but she did. Secondly speaking to her was easy, I found we had so much in common it was weird. Now time passes, and I reassure my girlfriend I love her, but deep in the back of my mind is this other girl, I cannot explain it and I feel ashamed to admit it, but I just kept thinking of her. Months and weeks pass, I dont get in touch with this girl, I think about it but I don't

 

So last week, out of the blue I message this girl on facebook again (I finally thought what the heck, why not!), my girlfriend knows my password and can easily check to see what I've sent and what I've received, I've reached a stage were I don't care what she says about it, Im sure she won't be happy, but I'm not asking this girl out on a date or anything just asking how she is? She replies "i'm good thanks and you?" Now we havent spoken to each other for a long time, and I'm not sure what to say next (what do I say except I'm good thanks, but I've got a thing for you, but right now I'm stuck in an unhappy relationship"?), do I explain why I / my girlfriend deleted her as a friend? By the way I kind of did explain to a friend of this girl, I did this when drunk, so I have no idea if the whole drunk message I told her got through or not, it wasn't the wisest move I know.

 

Before you guys say I need to man up, and lay the pimp hand down on the bitch, or some other sh*t, apart from these irrational mood swings, my girlfriend is faultless, seemingly perfect girl, my family who have got to known her, think's she is a darling and love her, but even they are wary of her temper and sometimes tell me I should let go.

Any advice is appreciated....please don't reply just to make fun of my situation, I don't normally lay out my feelings like this, but I thought its been bothering me for so long, maybe someone might help.

[Typhus]

I feel married but I'm not.

 

Although I love my girlfriend, I am getting sick of her ways, her constant requirements for me to remind her how pretty she is, and not to appreciate any other girl is damn annoying, her control over me is damn annoying too, gaming to her is like the worst thing I could ever do, and my ps3 is lucky to still be working, after being thrown at a wall, kicked and had soup chucked all over it. These stem from an irrational temper, and there was once a time I had to lie about how I got scratches on my face and bruises over my arms.

 

Now I'm still her with despite all this, I think its down to my very low self esteem (sucks to be an awkward shy ugly guy), she is incredibly pretty and at times the perfect girlfriend,, seriously I've been to parties, and overheard people saying how is he, with her?

 

So anyways over a year ago, we kind of broke up, I decided to get back in touch with a really nice girl I had met and felt a connection with during a trip, did this through facebook, for which my girlfriend had known my password, so i changed it. Then her insecurities kicked in, demanded she know my password again and what was I up to? I reassured her, nothing was going on and that she take my word for it, truthfully nothing was going on, I simple messaged a girl as a friend to ask how she was and if she still remembered me! GF hacks my account, she appeared calmed down, and innocently asked what was my first pets name? Which must have been a security question for my email, by this stage I had completely forgot about this whole scenario, the girl had messaged me back, but the conversation didnt persist (she was just someone I met, and added nothing more). She logged in, saw these messages, obsessed over this girl and basically accused me of having an affair, I swear every time we had a dispute after that, it was always why dont you message “Maria” over facebook?

 

So to an extent, this girl on facebook I had just met the once, becomes someone I am supposedly in love with (according to my girlfriend), the more my girlfriend argued with me about it, the more I thought about this other girl. Let me talk a little more about this other girl, she was kind, she came to me and spoke to me, girls dont normally do this, especially not very pretty girls, but she did. Secondly speaking to her was easy, I found we had so much in common it was weird. Now time passes, and I reassure my girlfriend I love her, but deep in the back of my mind is this other girl, I cannot explain it and I feel ashamed to admit it, but I just kept thinking of her. Months and weeks pass, I dont get in touch with this girl, I think about it but I don't

 

So last week, out of the blue I message this girl on facebook again (I finally thought what the heck, why not!), my girlfriend knows my password and can easily check to see what I've sent and what I've received, I've reached a stage were I don't care what she says about it, Im sure she won't be happy, but I'm not asking this girl out on a date or anything just asking how she is? She replies "i'm good thanks and you?" Now we havent spoken to each other for a long time, and I'm not sure what to say next (what do I say except I'm good thanks, but I've got a thing for you, but right now I'm stuck in an unhappy relationship"?), do I explain why I / my girlfriend deleted her as a friend? By the way I kind of did explain to a friend of this girl, I did this when drunk, so I have no idea if the whole drunk message I told her got through or not, it wasn't the wisest move I know.

 

Before you guys say I need to man up, and lay the pimp hand down on the bitch, or some other sh*t, apart from these irrational mood swings, my girlfriend is faultless, seemingly perfect girl, my family who have got to known her, think's she is a darling and love her, but even they are wary of her temper and sometimes tell me I should let go.

Any advice is appreciated....please don't reply just to make fun of my situation, I don't normally lay out my feelings like this, but I thought its been bothering me for so long, maybe someone might help.

This sounds like a typically abusive relationship. And, to be perfectly blunt, you sound as though you are deluding yourself as to her true character.

I have lived with people who experience manic mood swings and you keep kidding yourself that the good times are worth the bad. That is, until they start trying to drown you or start ripping your hair out in massive f*cking chunks.

But you have a choice. You say you've got low self esteem? Welcome to the club. But you don't have to be a mindless doormat. You can end this and take control of your life.

She is suffocating you, poisoning your mind and wearing you down until you're just her little poodle. Her behaviour sounds like borderline sadism. Kicking your PS3? Throwing it against the wall? Demanding you tell her how pretty she is?

These are not the actions of a rational human being.

Rid yourself of this pathetic, grasping parasite and save yourself some hassle.

[Law0070]

to ajbns

 

you're lucky to have this topic I think haha, this might get a popular place

 

but...on to ehh the relationship...have you ever talked to her about it? if she really loves you she might understand that you suffer under those moodswings of her, and after all communicating is important in a relationship, you should have close to no secrets for eachother (small things don't really matter IMO) but YOU SUFFER from her...temper, just talk about it with her, if she doesn't want to adapt, or think about it...meh, then she probably enjoys it too much to be the ehh...dominant person

 

 

and THEN it's time to come up for yourself...really, or do you want to end up as "that failure from *gf's name*"

and trust, trust is important as well! she doesn't trust you at all...just talk

relationships should be balanced ^^ can't tell you much more...

 

maybe an example from one of my own exes, one i'll never forget, pretty girl, extremely cute, but quite a temper, but we trusted eachother and after a while we acted normal (yes, we, I got quite a temper as well...imagine)...got kicked in the nuts quite a lot of times but that was usually 'cause i was misbehaving :') but i suppose you got those scratches etc without a good reason

Edited September 7, 2011 by Law0070

[trip]

My girlfriend wants to get married next fall. Should I marry her?

No. Marriage is a cage and eventually you will resent this woman for keeping you from doing what you want. At a certain age, women want to get with a free spirit. But as they grow older, they want the safe option. They want a man they can domesticate and change so they can kid themselves that they're some fairy princess who's found their Prince Charming.

Men who get married eventually end up whoring out their individuality to keep the missus happy. The whole institution of marriage is a sham. Relationships are often fickle and based on heated emotions, easily stirred but easily extinguished. Yet marriage proclaims to make these feelings constant and lifelong.

It's a falsehood, it doesn't work. Keep your freedom, don't get married.

Relationships should be about a man and a woman being equal. Not some woman having a 'special day' whilst you just get shoved around and told what to say like a damn slave.

Not if you find the right woman. I'm a flaming heterosexual, but chicks tend to annoy the crap out of me. That didn't stop me from my promiscuous years, and I believe those were the years where I discovered that chicks can be annoying.

 

I've been with the same chick since around 1987. We are married now and ,honestly, it is a good thing. Even though she still can annoy me, she doesn't annoy me half as much as any of the other girls I was with .

 

And Kevin has some solid points in his post. Guess what people, it isn't the 50s any more. All of your jokes about 'make me a sandwich' don't really translate into the real world of marriage in today's world.

 

 

@Lith, if she is the right woman for you, and you don't see yourself wanting to kill her in a few years, there is nothing wrong with marriage. There is always divorce.

[WF the Hobgoblin]

Although I love my girlfriend, I am getting sick of her ways, her constant requirements for me to remind her how pretty she is, and not to appreciate any other girl is damn annoying, her control over me is damn annoying too, gaming to her is like the worst thing I could ever do, and my ps3 is lucky to still be working, after being thrown at a wall, kicked and had soup chucked all over it. These stem from an irrational temper, and there was once a time I had to lie about how I got scratches on my face and bruises over my arms.

She threw your ps3 at a wall and you're still with her?

 

She must be pretty hot but even then I don't think I could put up with people f***ing up my stuff. Sack that sh*t sharpish.

[A J]

I appreciate your feedback

 

the whole "kidding yourself that the good times are worth the bad" hits a note, I hate to admit it, I think that is true.

 

The hair pulling thing has happened, but its the pinches that are the worst, they're like a stealthy nasty thing she does to my arms or ribs, one time she was feeling down about the way she looked, despite my best efforts to remind her she is really good looking, a girl walks past wearing hot pants, guys check her out, I make an effort not to, she notices her, and demands I look at her and say if she looks nicer or something along those lines, I refuse to look at other girl, instead try to convince her that she is the most gorgeous girl in the world,I then feel nasty motherf*cking pinchon my arm , ouch all because I refuse to compare her to this girl.

 

I actually feel like Im starting to take control, this other girl thing is my attempt at doing so. As for being a doormat, I'm not sure, I don't take a beating, infact if she decides to get violent, I man handle her, and pretty much get her in a lock until she calms down, she's get so aggresive though, she'll spit in my face, and bite me in the process. Its kind of stopped the whole attacking me thing though, most recently when she was staying around mine, she took to smashing things and ripping stuff up, plates, glasses, sunglasses, etc... we have n't seen much of each other since, but she is going to be around more soon...

 

Now people often suggest communication is key, I agree and talking helps, but it almost seems useless when she is in a mood swing, afterwards I get the same apologies and the promises it won't happen again, and she is really sweet to me afterwards, I guess all those rough times though, when she put me to tears, its not surprising I thought about this other girl....

 

A lot of the time after arguments, I always get to be made to feel its partially my fault for all of this, I'm the reason she is unhappy, If I showed her more attention and affection she wouldn't be in this mood in the first place, I m not sure how much truth is in that, I've grown up in circumstances wereby I had affection as a child but I also suffered a lot, I saw my mum change to someone else because of alcohol, I havent seen my dad since I was 3, and it got so bad I stayed with my grandparents since I was 12, maybe I don't show my feelings enough because of all this.

[Ronmar The Only]

 

I feel married but I'm not.

 

Although I love my girlfriend, I am getting sick of her ways, her constant requirements for me to remind her how pretty she is, and not to appreciate any other girl is damn annoying, her control over me is damn annoying too, gaming to her is like the worst thing I could ever do, and my ps3 is lucky to still be working, after being thrown at a wall, kicked and had soup chucked all over it. These stem from an irrational temper, and there was once a time I had to lie about how I got scratches on my face and bruises over my arms.

 

Now I'm still her with despite all this, I think its down to my very low self esteem (sucks to be an awkward shy ugly guy), she is incredibly pretty and at times the perfect girlfriend,, seriously I've been to parties, and overheard people saying how is he, with her? 

 

So anyways over a year ago, we kind of broke up,  I decided to get back in touch with a really nice girl I had met and felt a connection with during a trip, did this through facebook, for which my girlfriend had known my password, so i changed it. Then her insecurities kicked in, demanded she know my password again and what was I up to? I reassured her, nothing was going on and that she take my word for it, truthfully nothing was going on, I simple messaged a girl as a friend to ask how she was and if she still remembered me! GF hacks my account,  she appeared calmed down, and innocently asked what was my first pets name? Which must have been a security question for my email, by this stage I had completely forgot about this whole scenario, the girl had messaged me back, but the conversation didnt persist (she was just someone I met, and added nothing more). She logged in, saw these messages, obsessed over this girl and basically accused me of having an affair, I swear every time we had a dispute after that, it was always why dont you message “Maria” over facebook?

 

So to an extent, this girl on facebook I had just met the once, becomes someone I am supposedly in love with (according to my girlfriend), the more my girlfriend argued with me about it, the more I thought about this other girl. Let me talk a little more about this other girl, she was kind, she came to me and spoke to me, girls dont normally do this, especially not very pretty girls, but she did. Secondly speaking to her was easy, I found we had so much in common it was weird. Now time passes, and I reassure my girlfriend I love her, but deep in the back of my mind is this other girl, I cannot explain it and I feel ashamed to admit it, but I just kept thinking of her. Months and weeks pass, I dont get in touch with this girl, I think about it but I don't

 

So last week, out of the blue I message this girl on facebook again (I finally thought what the heck, why not!), my girlfriend knows my password and can easily check to see what I've sent and what I've received, I've reached a stage were I don't care what she says about it, Im sure she won't be happy, but I'm not asking this girl out on a date or anything just asking how she is? She replies "i'm good thanks and you?" Now we havent spoken to each other for a long time, and I'm not sure what to say next (what do I say except I'm good thanks, but I've got a thing for you, but right now I'm stuck in an unhappy relationship"?), do I explain why I / my girlfriend deleted her as a friend? By the way I kind of did explain to a friend of this girl, I did this when drunk, so I have no idea if the whole drunk message I told her got through or not, it wasn't the wisest move I know.

 

Before you guys say I need to man up, and lay the pimp hand down on the bitch, or some other sh*t, apart from these irrational mood swings, my girlfriend is faultless, seemingly perfect girl,  my family who have got to known her, think's she is a darling and love her, but even they are wary of her temper and sometimes tell me I should let go.

Any advice is appreciated....please don't reply just to make fun of my situation,  I don't normally lay out my feelings like this, but I thought its been bothering me for so long, maybe someone might help.

I've never been in a relationship, never cared enough to be in one, but we'll get to that in a while. With that preface, here is my advice.

 

 

It is a matter of degrees, and how many degrees you can handle. There are certain things in your situation, I personally would not be able to tolerate. One issue that I have is the whole messing with your stuff (regardless that it is a PS3 that costs tons to maybe an old book or something you made or was given to you). That is your stuff and if she does not respect it, I have a hard time believing she fully respects you.

 

Second, appreciating another female or male is entirely different from dissing your current partner. I mean, you can look at a variety of cars or other items and remark to how they look, people shouldn't necessarily be different. How would a photographer of models ever find someone if you cannot think of people other than your partner in that way.

 

Third, if she is physically abusing you, you nee to evaluate the relationship. This is the biggest problem for me. Whether it is with words, physical force either directly or indirectly to you, abuse is something that should not be stood for.

 

Now, to the points about passwords and such. I believe that is a case by case basis. It is natural to be jealous, but if she constantly brings it up, or constantly checks your stuff, that is different than the typical jealousy that crops up from time to time.

 

It should be pointed out that these aren't deal breakers if you want a relationship with her on any level. I mean, if you can deal with that stuff just to f*ck around, do it, though I would say let her know that your relationship has changed. If you want a relationship that is based on more than physical needs, explicitly tell her that there are things you have an issue with and that if she wants the relationship to continue, things are going to have to change.

 

 

 

Now, to me.

 

 

As I said, I don't do relationships. Typically.

 

I had a girl I really cared about in high school, but never had the balls to do anything about it, then. In addition, I'd say my weight problems during most of my early life factored into my low self esteem. It isn't that I don't want a relationship, it's just that I've never really taken that leap. I'm currently in law school, and it takes a lot of f*cking time away from you. There are certain people I may hook up with, and my friend has said she might try to hook me up with one of her friends, basically to help me get over that person from high school.

 

So.

 

I never had the balls to do anything with this girl in high school. She was two years younger than me back then and went to a different college. We talked a lot during my freshman year, we were best friends in high school my senior year, but time and distance got in between us. She dated other guys, and we really didn't talk for nearly two years. We'd text every so often, and I'd say that I needed to stop by her apartment to catch up, but I never did and the conversations didn't sustain.

 

Then while I was on vacation this past summer, I noticed she updated her facebook page. Now, in full disclosure, she got a little fat there for a time when we really didn't talk. Started dating one of my former best friends as well. But, in this picture, she was back to how she used to look, thin and slim with a button nose (I'm writer somewhat, check out my stuff if you like and Writers' Discussion in general).

 

I saw that photo and text her immediately. She responded and she remembered my number. It is amazing how she always knew my phone number. We chatted for a few hours and I said that would be coming through where she lived on my way back to my parents' house and if she'd be fine with me stopping by. She said she'd love it. We talked every day up till whenever I arrived in her town. I got lost and she found me.

 

Whenever she pulled up and exited her car, I picked her up in my arms and spun around holding her and talking to her for several minutes in the empty parking lot, making jokes with how everything was showing, but no one was there to see. Note: I didn't arrive till like ten or so.

 

Anyways, we went out to a little place for food. She placed the bomb in my lap that she was still dating that same friend, but that he had led her down a bad path. I said she should take a break. She said she had been meaning to. (I hate whenever people don't keep up their facebook status just for this reason, it might have changed my expectations)

 

Long story short, that night all our clothes came off after half a handle of whiskey, good ole Jack there to help out. We didn't have sex. That night. I stayed the next day as well. That night, we did.

 

I left, and that week was amazing. I didn't get to see her during it, but we texted throughout almost every moment of it. Then she came up and visited me at my parents' house. And then we did all the things we had before again.

 

And then she left. And I haven't kissed her since. I remember having a strange feeling that day. I wanted every moment to last longer than possible. There were only so many to have though.

 

Funny thing. She asked me during that week in between if she was just a curiosity to me. I said never, that she was the only thing I wanted for so long. Turns out I may have been the curiosity.

 

 

Also, for those keeping tabs. She broke up with the guy, making me "that guy." He doesn't know. He suspects. He hates me, it seems. But, he doesn't know.

 

 

I've been a wandering puppy since then. As I said, my friend her at law school is hopefully hooking me up with one of her friends. I've seen pictures. Very attractive.

 

I'm actually in the process of writing a script about all this.

 

Oh. Hearts.

Edited September 7, 2011 by Ronmar The Only

[A J]

I read your story Ronmar, and I thought about it, you start off by saying, you never cared enough to be in a relationship. Are you certain of this? From your interactions with this girl with the button nose, I'd say you cared enough to spend time with her, and although not a fully fledged relationship was ever confirmed or fully declared, in sorts you had something going there.

Maybe it was just a casual one off fling, but seeing as you see yourself as a wandering puppy, maybe you have more feelings for her than you actually care to admit?

Anyways you wrote it very nicely, and "wanting every moment to last longer than possible", is a feeling Im sure everyone can relate to.

Good luck with whatever you chose to do, Im sure things will fall in to place.

Thanks for your advice.

 

[Vega LVI]

My girlfriend and I have been going steady for about three and a half years. Though I love her and plan on marrying her, she has traits about her that turn me off. She is too clingy and hipocritcal, as well as not caring for my well-being. I see her just about everyday and everyday she wants to do something new. I do not mind seeing a movie or playing pool or whatever, but she does not realize that we could have just as much fun inside than outside.

 

My bedroom is stocked with piles of fun things to do, but she ignores it and demands that we go out to eat. I am not the richest man in the world. I work as much as I can in the early morning to afford all of her wants and needs. Plus, now I have to go to university, which means money will be tight as I cannot work as much as I want. I want to make her happy, but I cannot keep going on if my wallet keeps getting lighter and lighter.

 

She gets angry when I make a suggestion about staying in. She wanted to see Crazy Stupid Love one night, but I suggested that we rent a different movie for a buck using Redbox. I was sure we could find a much better film to watch than a Steve Carrell comedy; but with her it is either her way or no way. When is my way going to come just once? She even gets angry when I eat something a bit too fattening. I'll be eating a bowl of ice cream, but she flips out says that I am getting too large, meanwhile I am in perfect shape for 20 years old. That is not even the worst part of the things that she does that turn me off. She orders me to not to speak to any other girl, because I am with her. I told her that I will not do that and she told me that she would not either.

 

Despite her saying that, her phone is loaded with fifty different numbers of guys that are from our university. Now what am I supposed to think? "Oh it is no big deal, she only answered sixty-eight different calls from Brad Palmer since two days ago." That is nothing include to the fact that she does not show any care for me. Take the scenario when I was very sick two December's ago. It was about the 30th of December when I woke up feeling deathly ill.

 

I was vomiting, sneezing and practically dying in my own bed. She comes over and asks me, and I quote, "You takin' me to dinner?" Did she not see that my face was milk white and that I was curled up in a ball in the corner? When I told her I was too sick she said, and I quote again, "How sick can you be?" I told her that I felt like I was going to die and she said, "If you loved me, you'd do this for me." So, to avoid a huge fight that I did not want, I got up, put on some cleaned clothes and fought through a dinner that seemed to last forever. I kept putting my head down on the table and she kept telling me to sit up straight and "do this" and "do that". The funny thing is, that she had a really bad flu in the winter of this year. Everyday I would keep her company and bring her medicine and soup and I do not even get a thanks, nevermind anything really special. But when I am coughing up a lung, all she wants to do is go dancing and partying.

 

I do not know why I let her talk me into doing all of this; I guess I am whipped. I admit that I have no backbone when it comes to her, so I let her order me around. Anybody have any advice for me, or do I have to sell an arm and a leg to keep up with her?

 

Holy mother of walls, split your text up! -Andrew

Edited September 7, 2011 by Andrew