Stoatz Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 As you may know I had a disaster date not long ago so I ask you more experienced members here, how do I set up my apartment for a proper date? Is there anything I should do in particular to make my apartment feel more special? What do I do about entertainment and food!? Your advice is much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 More plaid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andyzoot Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Contraception, just to be safe. No, I'm not kidding, I'm being serious. Edited September 7, 2011 by Pandazoot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loch Dawg Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Buy a box of large-sized condoms and leave them in plain view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlowe. Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Buy a box of large-sized condoms and leave them in plain view. Preferably next to a wad of $100s.* *If you don't have that many$100 bills, one $100 note wrapped around a bunch of $1s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ska Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 A box of Magnums, skinny jeans, and a taste for sweet ecstasy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleBlueTroll Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Minute you get back to your place, whip your trousers off to reveal your wearing a thong, then throw yourself down on your strategically placed shag pile carpet and strike your raunchiest pose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Make sure your bed sheets are clean, i got a bird back to mine once and when i went to get in my bed with her there was a huge brown smudge over the sheet, she asked me if it was a sh*t stain and i said i wasn't sure and licked it and said eww it is sh*t and she started borking and ran to the toilet to be sick before i could explain it was actually a chocolate bar that melted. I didn't get no action and i haven't spoke to the girl since, not a single f*ck was given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toup Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Ok first here's a video that might help you getting ready: Then i'll give you some more tips: 1.Fake that you are rich. 2.Then if the guy wants something more say you can't because blood is coming out of your bagingo. 3.Sucess date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil weasel Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Vacuum. Don’t forget under the cushions. Dust after you vacuum. Wash the Dishes. Dry and put them away. Do the Laundry and put it away. Change the sheets. Straighten your book shelf and toss the magazines. Leave A book out if you have one she likes. Clean the entire bathroom (including the shower/bath and behind the head.) Groom the cat and clean the litter box. Lose the dog. Have a friend tend it for the date period, unless she really likes dogs. Warn your friends away. Have your music cued with stuff she likes. Preset the TV to a favorite show, hers not yours. Take out the trash/garbage. Straighten up your closet. Keep money and any valuables out of sight. (You might know her, but she could talk to her friends.) Have your mum over to inspect. Have you been to her place? You should know how she lives… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WF the Hobgoblin Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Just make sure it's clean, neat and tidy. Don't forget to leave the correct amount of money in an envelope on the dresser or coffee table in plain view and subtly gesture towards it upon her arrival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hold up, date...and apartment? Dude go out somewhere and surely just keep your apartment in a clean decent condition? I'd focus more on other aspects than whether my curtains were the right colour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinomontana Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Make sure your bed sheets are clean, i got a bird back to mine once and when i went to get in my bed with her there was a huge brown smudge over the sheet, she asked me if it was a sh*t stain and i said i wasn't sure and licked it and said eww it is sh*t and she started borking and ran to the toilet to be sick before i could explain it was actually a chocolate bar that melted. I didn't get no action and i haven't spoke to the girl since, not a single f*ck was given. this just made my day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swoorup Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hold up, date...and apartment? Dude go out somewhere and surely just keep your apartment in a clean decent condition? I'd focus more on other aspects than whether my curtains were the right colour. May they are spending the night there Just make it romantic and safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punk-in-Drublic Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Spray some febreeze on your pillows and put some Barry White on, Barry will never let you down in the sack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrefromEstonia Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I would suggest just to clean your apartment, you could make your room look like its very grown up like. Loose all the childish things. Pets are no problem, if they are cute...dogs, cats and maybe other furry motherf*ckers, just show them to the girl, girls like fluffy animals that are cute. You could cover your table with a nice sheet, bake or buy something good to eat...if your old enough, maybe wine. Wear nice handsome clothes, a nice shirt and also put on perfume. Act good but don't overact. be yourself... Then if you are lucky you can do the grown ups thing xd. E: almost forgot, make sure you have all your lights out and have candles everytwhere. Just don't set nothing on fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swoorup Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I dont think you should put perfume, just take a bath!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnorg Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 A few Forget-me-Nows should make it a grand date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Never forget to daub cologne on your balls and shaft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Keep it classy. Make sure the fridge is stocked with a variety of wines. Boxes and boxes of wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Make sure the fridge is stocked with wine. Boxes and boxes of wine. Red wine in the fridge? Philistine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Hold up, date...and apartment? Dude go out somewhere and surely just keep your apartment in a clean decent condition? I'd focus more on other aspects than whether my curtains were the right colour. May they are spending the night there Just make it romantic and safe Well yeah but as long as it's clean that's all that's required. You've gotta go for a date first as it is. We're presumably talking about early on in a relationship, not stages where romantic evenings in are prevalent. I'd work more on myself than my gaffe first. Of course, I may be barking up the wrong tree and you plan to do a date at home but blimey, I wouldn't go there too early. Maybe a bottle of wine in the fridge, decent coffee easily attainable and a sound system within easy reach and all is good. If you've both had a great time so far without all those things, why try ruin it by changing the environment to something maybe a little..cliche? Tacky? Either way, the main subject of her focus should be you, not the candles or music. It's a first date for crying out loud (assuming with OP here), so get talking. If things look to be going somewhere I don't know about you but all the other stuff tends to go out the window pretty fast anyway. Hell, she may even be feeling a little nervous depending on her state of mind or age or whatever. I'd see those kinda things as creepy. From my experience, candles? Romantic music? Some tact may be a better option. They'll suss out your plan within seconds of walking through the door. Way to objectify your date and come across desperate. Save that sh*t for a later date if you must. Hopefully you've discussed music and can put something on that you both enjoy (maybe it's just the type of girls I tend to invite back but even the most romantic ones don't like to listen to love songs, much rather some rock or trance or whatever). A side light will do for the moment for subdued lighting, candles are surely more of a romantic cooked dinner or a bit of fun at home kinda time? Not to mention the whole thing reeks of planning. A standard, nice clean apartment should leave a better impression as to the type of person you're like to live and be with than an obvious showy setup. Note this is all from a presumption you've brought her back to yours, not from a date at home kinda thing. Never been a fan of that kinda thing. Can prove hard to build an atmosphere if you're both new to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIKKS66 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Wear clothing that covers as much of your body as possible. Visit your local hardware store and purchase one decent sized axe and several (depending on the size of your apartment) plastic sheets. Also purchase a number of black bin bags. A mop and some large washcloths might also be an option. Oh, and a BIG old roll or two of heavy duty tape. Finally, try get your hands on some surgical gloves (or plastic gloves which can be picked up free at your local petrol station or Subway). For disposal, there are two options. The bin bags will suffice if you are on a budget but for a professional job, purchase a few litres of hydrofluoric acid and some large plastic containers. I'm not actually sure if this works- I'm basing this purely on something I saw on TV- so you might want to double check with your local chemistry teacher or mafioso. Weigh down the plastic sheets on your apartment floor, leave no flooring uncovered! Use some kind of tape to stick the plastic sheets to the walls and (if you have a particularly low ceiling) roof of your apartment. Again, leave no areas uncovered. Don't use nails, it f*cks up your walls. Put on some romantic music. I recommend Huey Lewis and the News. Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '87, Huey released Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. When your date arrives, take his/her coat like a gentlemen. Then proceed to do a professional job. One, heavy swing the the skull or neck should do the trick. The cleaner the hit, the easier it will be later. Splatter is going to be a bitch, so have those cloths or mop on hand to stem the flow. Once the blood ceases to flow (don't worry, it will), you want to strip your date. You can also remove your clothing at this point but that is optional. Carefully dismember your date, placing each portion into a number of bin bags or acidy box. If you are using the former method, use tape to tightly wrap the "packages" so nothing leaks. Load up the boxes or the packages in the boot of your car. If you don't have a car, borrow a friends. If you don't have a friend, steal one (a car, that is). Get your apartment back to normal. Place all of your clothes, your date's clothes, the cleaning tools, the axe and all the plastic sheets into bin bags. Load them into the boot of your car also. Take a thorough shower. Make sure you get into your nails if you neglected to wear plastic or surgical gloves. Wash your hair several times and consider a haircut. When night approaches, take the packages and equipment to the local landfil and find a secluded area to bury/dump them. If you opted to use plastic containers, your local chemical disposal facility will be the ideal place to leave these. Try do it without raising suspiscion. Failing that, dump it in the sea (but be f*cking careful with the chemical!) If possible, find a trusted friend to supply you with an alibi. However, if your date went correctly, this shouldn't be necessary. Good luck bro! Let me know how it went. Edit: Max. is right, don't put red wine in the fridge. That would be appalling. Edited September 7, 2011 by SIKKS66 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WedgeAntilles Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 What exactly is the premise of this date? Are you cooking for her or something? Or are you just bringing her back to yours after an actual 'date'. Either way just make sure everything is relatively tidy and thats about it. Half the other sh*t posted in here will make it seem like you are trying WAY to hard. As Mark said her focus should be and vice versa, I've never bothered with music and all that. Wine is always good, as is any sort of large selection of alcoholic drinks! Just make sure they are all premium products no cheap sh*t! (But I'm a drink/wine snob). In all just play it cool and don't really give a f*ck, after all a girl is a girl... right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mak Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Since when is GTAF a dating tips and help site i know this is Off Topic Chat but still seriously oh and just don't tell her that you asked for help on a Forum for Grand Theft Auto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toup Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 By the way people. He's trolling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robinski Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 By the way people. He's trolling. This just in: The people telling him how to dispose of bodies, to keep "classy" boxes of wine, to use date-rape drugs, strip upon arrival and wear makeup are joking. More at 11. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SIKKS66 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 By the way people. He's trolling. This just in: The people telling him how to dispose of bodies, to keep "classy" boxes of wine, to use date-rape drugs, strip upon arrival and wear makeup are joking. More at 11. Yes. Joking. Of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A J Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 you made me laugh SIKKS, great movie Seriously though, like Mark said, take her out somewhere, just be sure to have a tidy appartment that is all that matters I m sure. I need some girlrelationship advice to be honest, but I dont wish to post it here, any suggestions for places to try? or any members willing to hear me out through PM? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 you made me laugh SIKKS, great movie Seriously though, like Mark said, take her out somewhere, just be sure to have a tidy appartment that is all that matters I m sure. I need some girlrelationship advice to be honest, but I dont wish to post it here, any suggestions for places to try? or any members willing to hear me out through PM? Ska is dying to hear about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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