Done

[Loch Dawg]

I've been trying to write something for awhile, this isn't really based on anything I just thought I'd give it a shot. Feedback is welcome!

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The beams from the sun gently kissed her shoulders; I delicately trace the freckles and moles on her back with my index finger. She rolls away and I take it as a sign that she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I pry the blankets off of my body and quietly rotate my body so I can get out of bed without disturbing her.

 

I slide open the door and step out onto the balcony, rubbing my eyes wearily and stretching out my body. I take the cigarette packet from the table and clumsily try to open it; I push the lid of the packet up with my thumb and inspect the contents inside.

 

Empty.

 

Maybe she will have cigarettes in her bag? I walk back inside and close the door behind me, making sure not to let the cold air get into the bedroom, she hates that. I tiptoe on the linoleum floor, sometimes it sticks to my feet and makes a peeling noise and I hate that noise.

 

My hands sift through the contents of her handbag, my fingers glide across a touch I am familiar with, I trace the smoothness up and down and it is the unforgettable Marlboro emblem. Taking the pack, I walk back outside and sit at the table.

 

I smoke.

 

Soon she will leave me, why I don’t know? Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it is hers. Things happen and people try and distance themselves from each other. Every relationship I’ve been in I’ve found at that critical moment, when everything is falling apart, that I’ve never truly expressed how I feel and instead I’ve said what they’ve wanted to hear. It’s scary to think that someone you’ve spent so much time, someone you’ve invested all your effort into, is just capable of leaving.

 

It scares me sometimes, that is why last night I didn’t sleep. I can feel the calm before the storm and I can tell that when she wakes up she’ll leave and she’ll stay at her mothers and two weeks later she’ll come back to what use to be our sh*tty apartment and she’ll get all her clothes and she won’t talk to me at all and I’ll just sit on the couch, beer in hand, already accepting defeat.

 

When she wakes and we have the conversation I won’t tell her that I want her to stay, I won’t tell her to think of the good things. I’ll just sit there with my head down and not say anything. I’m afraid to express myself because of rejection and I guess my fear of rejection causes me to get rejected.

 

But for now I’ll enjoy this cigarette and maybe I’ll drink a beer because if I can’t have her to enjoy to myself then what can I enjoy?

 

I finish the cigarette and flick it over the balcony, the embers spread out in the air and I watch the small red dots float around before they are extinguished.

 

I walk back inside to the kitchen, grab a beer and crack it open.

[blitz]

Beautiful. I especially like the last two or three sentences, they're very strong.

[mark-2007]

Loved it man. I like yo' style a lot, and it's back here in a big way. The first person narrative style, I'm sure it's nothing hugely new or anything, but you pull it off well. Pretty good effort for your first piece in a while.

 

Also, how do I apply to be Craig's other bitch?

[Loch Dawg]

I had to do things that I can't unsee.