The Golden Ones [MissionP]

[Rytuklis]

 

The Golden Ones

 

Main Theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wo0jl4EstXY

 

Story:

 

Johnathan Mira, or by friends simply called Johnny was born in poor family in Montgomery, in 1985. He and his friend Luca from childhood never was apart from each other. They were everywhere together. Their parents were drunktards, Johnny's father died due to too much drinking. When Johnny and Luca turned 25, Johnny found out that his father had a house which his mother didnt even knew about. Before death he left it to Johnny. Johnny and Luca started living there on their own. However, when they tasted the real money for the first time (the house was worth REALLY much money), they decided that they need more. Also they had a dream to ever visit big cities, such as Los Santos. Johnny and Luca started doing small time jobs such as robbing local stores ,burglaries, beating ups and etc. Finally, they got an opportunity to visit Los Santos. But when you first taste money, you want more and more....

In a few words. This mission pack is based about few peeps from Country Side, which rised to the top of the criminal world. One of the "Rags To Riches" sort of story.

 

Characters:

 

 

Johnathan Mira

Main Character, 25 year old male.

 

Luca Beluccini

Second Main Character, he is best Johnathans' friend. They are known since child hood

 

[More characters to be added every time when new character is met.]

 

Missions:

 

Chapter 1:

 

The Prologue [Download Here]

The Bank Job [Download Here]

The New Life [Download Here]

The Offer [Download Here]

Bon Apetit, Sherrif [Download Here]

Big Fish [Download Here]

Welcome to the Family [Download Here]

Party Poopers [Download Here]

Just for Relaxation [Download Here]

Gas Theft [Download Here]

Sayonara Los Santos [Download Here]

Outro [Download Here]

 

Credits:

 

Rytuklis- Idea , Topic, Missions

UNRATED69- Logo in dyom.gtagames.nl

Dyom Developers- Obvious reasons

Blitz- Main logo

Mockage- Upcoming walkthrough logo

Edited August 31, 2011 by Rytuklis

[Rytuklis]

Also guys, i have few versions of main theme and i dont know which to use. What do you think? Please help me decide.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu4OMnbWT1Q&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj6r_xgoWQk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h0_mHk91gI&feature=related

[Kratos2000]

It sounds nice, but feels kind of casual.

Good luck, extra points for proving me wrong. :]

[Rytuklis]

It sounds nice, but feels kind of casual.

Good luck, extra points for proving me wrong. :]

It wont be casual, believe me , story will turn in many different ways ;P

[Mati]

2nd song fits the best imo. It's looking good so far, you haven't given much details yet.

[General Scrotum]

1- First song is bad.

2- Second song is good, but not too good. Sounds too much like the old 40's.

3- Last song would be better.

4- What is a 'Propatagonist'?

5- Good luck?

 

Case over.

[Rytuklis]

1- First song is bad.

2- Second song is good, but not too good. Sounds too much like the old 40's.

3- Last song would be better.

4- What is a 'Propatagonist'?

5- Good luck?

 

Case over.

Don't be grammar nazi ;(.

 

Anyways, i found even better theme song. Anyways:

 

 

Prologue released!

Gonna edit main post ASAP

[Rytuklis]

Logo added!

 

[Rytuklis]

Mission The Bank Job added!!

 

NOTICE!!!!!!: Mission originally was supposed to be played without weapons, but if you cant beat it, just type in a gun cheat.

[Rytuklis]

New mission added.

 

Play and give feedbacks

[Mati]

I played the first few missions. I don't want to talk about the small mistakes, nor I will be a nazi about your grammar.

I really enjoy the story and you surprised me a bit. I thought this will be another plain and simple, boring story. It isn't.

The story actually keeps me going and I can't wait for more. I was expecting something like ''This is my friend and were takin down other mafias n sh*t'' kind of thing, which obviously isn't true. The story has depth.

Although, it was too short. You definitely have to add more cutscenes. There were moments, that pissed me off. For example, where you saved that man. I personally could add 15+ cutscenes just explaining the man. You only did like one or two. His text was something like ''thanks for saving me take me to the club.'', it would be better if you do it like this:

Luca: Are you alright man?

Man: My leg... those f*ckers.

Luca: What did they want from you?

...

...

...

...

 

But otherwise, a good job so far.

[Gorgonit]

I played the first few missions. I don't want to talk about the small mistakes, nor I will be a nazi about your grammar.

I really enjoy the story and you surprised me a bit. I thought this will be another plain and simple, boring story. It isn't.

The story actually keeps me going and I can't wait for more. I was expecting something like ''This is my friend and were takin down other mafias n sh*t'' kind of thing, which obviously isn't true. The story has depth.

Although, it was too short. You definitely have to add more cutscenes. There were moments, that pissed me off. For example, where you saved that man. I personally could add 15+ cutscenes just explaining the man. You only did like one or two. His text was something like ''thanks for saving me take me to the club.'', it would be better if you do it like this:

Luca: Are you alright man?

Man: My leg... those f*ckers.

Luca: What did they want from you?

...

...

...

...

 

But otherwise, a good job so far.

I have almost the same opinion, I think atleast you could make cutscenes to introduct the mission, then go with it, for example:

 

Luca: What we will do now man?

Man: We gotta get some money, I plan entering the local bank and get the money.

Luca: Okay but we will need some dynamite then.

Man: I know but... blah blah blah and blah blah so blah blah and we get it at blah blah blah.

 

 

Anyway, I can't wait for the missions like Mati., just because the story's promising and looks like it will have a good future. Hope you don't take this little "review" as bad.

[Rytuklis]

I played the first few missions. I don't want to talk about the small mistakes, nor I will be a nazi about your grammar.

I really enjoy the story and you surprised me a bit. I thought this will be another plain and simple, boring story. It isn't.

The story actually keeps me going and I can't wait for more. I was expecting something like ''This is my friend and were takin down other mafias n sh*t'' kind of thing, which obviously isn't true. The story has depth.

Although, it was too short. You definitely have to add more cutscenes. There were moments, that pissed me off. For example, where you saved that man. I personally could add 15+ cutscenes just explaining the man. You only did like one or two. His text was something like ''thanks for saving me take me to the club.'', it would be better if you do it like this:

Luca: Are you alright man?

Man: My leg... those f*ckers.

Luca: What did they want from you?

...

...

...

...

 

But otherwise, a good job so far.

I have almost the same opinion, I think atleast you could make cutscenes to introduct the mission, then go with it, for example:

 

Luca: What we will do now man?

Man: We gotta get some money, I plan entering the local bank and get the money.

Luca: Okay but we will need some dynamite then.

Man: I know but... blah blah blah and blah blah so blah blah and we get it at blah blah blah.

 

 

Anyway, I can't wait for the missions like Mati., just because the story's promising and looks like it will have a good future. Hope you don't take this little "review" as bad.

See.. Luca is the one that is very enthusiast in criminal work

And Johnny, the one you called "Man" doesnt think it's good idea. But still, where is Luca, there is Johnny

 

Anyways guys. Thank you for your tips! I will use it in upcoming mission which should be made very soon!

[Rytuklis]

New mission added!

[Rytuklis]

New mission added.

[Rytuklis]

New mission added

[Rytuklis]

New mission added

[Rytuklis]

DECIDE THE ENDING OF CHAPTER 1!

 

 

Does Johnathan and Luca f*ck up, or they succeed?

[Rytuklis]

New mission added

 

Just for Relaxation!

 

Play and give feedbacks

[Mati]

I'm going to play a few missions, give you feedback and decide

[alucardiff]

I tried this, and I honestly with no hate towards you consider this really bad. Extremely annoying grammar mistakes, and seriously, did you even test your missions for bugs? Everything is so extremely horribly glitchy. Then - how in the name of god was the protagonist not aware of the bank over there when it was 20 meters away from his house?

[Mati]

You need to put much more effort in your missions.

[Rytuklis]

 

I tried this, and I honestly with no hate towards you consider this really bad. Extremely annoying grammar mistakes, and seriously, did you even test your missions for bugs? Everything is so extremely horribly glitchy. Then - how in the name of god was the protagonist not aware of the bank over there when it was 20 meters away from his house?

You're accusing me of Grammar Mistakes, when seem you didnt understand language yourself.

 

He WAS aware of the house, he was only wasnt very enthusiasting about robbing

 

Blame DYOM for bugs, not me.

 

I test missions over 3-4 times in a row after making it. I didnt noticed any bugs. It's DYOM fault, not mine

 

@Mati Which missions are you exactly talking about? First missions yes, they arent very good, but IMO i put very much effort in the last few missions

[alucardiff]

I tried this, and I honestly with no hate towards you consider this really bad. Extremely annoying grammar mistakes, and seriously, did you even test your missions for bugs? Everything is so extremely horribly glitchy. Then - how in the name of god was the protagonist not aware of the bank over there when it was 20 meters away from his house?

You're accusing me of Grammar Mistakes, when seem you didnt understand language yourself.

 

He WAS aware of the house, he was only wasnt very enthusiasting about robbing

 

Blame DYOM for bugs, not me.

 

I test missions over 3-4 times in a row after making it. I didnt noticed any bugs. It's DYOM fault, not mine

 

@Mati Which missions are you exactly talking about? First missions yes, they arent very good, but IMO i put very much effort in the last few missions

I'm afraid you might be right, my grammar is getting really horrible. It's mostly because I wanna say a LOT of sh*t but then I try to reduce the number of words and I get very confused - I'll try my best from now on not to seem like an illiterate redneck, k?

 

Now, to the bugs. I'm not talking about the DYOM bugs, but about YOUR mission bugs. There are 2 "man" in the 3rd mission, which is simply.. no. Okay, it seems you don't know how to put " ' " in DYOM. Hold Shift and press 8, that should do it. Good luck, and try to make more sense in your missions. The storyline lacks depth.

 

Sorry for the harsh reviews, but you'll learn much more if you're serious.

[Mati]

The last few missions are just a touch better than the first few missions. You have decent ideas, although you didn't show them good enough. For example, where you need to blow up that guy in the car. I didn't saw him coming from the restaurant, nor did I see him enter the car, nor did I press the detonator but still, the missions got finished.

Do you even test your missions before uploading?

 

BTW, that doesn't mean that this mission pack has to be dropped. It can still be saved if you put more effort in it.

[Rytuklis]

The last few missions are just a touch better than the first few missions. You have decent ideas, although you didn't show them good enough. For example, where you need to blow up that guy in the car. I didn't saw him coming from the restaurant, nor did I see him enter the car, nor did I press the detonator but still, the missions got finished.

Do you even test your missions before uploading?

 

BTW, that doesn't mean that this mission pack has to be dropped. It can still be saved if you put more effort in it.

I did put him there, but stupid DYOM didnt showed him...

[Mati]

The last few missions are just a touch better than the first few missions. You have decent ideas, although you didn't show them good enough. For example, where you need to blow up that guy in the car. I didn't saw him coming from the restaurant, nor did I see him enter the car, nor did I press the detonator but still, the missions got finished.

Do you even test your missions before uploading?

 

BTW, that doesn't mean that this mission pack has to be dropped. It can still be saved if you put more effort in it.

I did put him there, but stupid DYOM didnt showed him...

Oh now you're wrong. You're the one who made the mistake here dude, not dyom.

[Rytuklis]

 

The last few missions are just a touch better than the first few missions. You have decent ideas, although you didn't show them good enough. For example, where you need to blow up that guy in the car. I didn't saw him coming from the restaurant, nor did I see him enter the car, nor did I press the detonator but still, the missions got finished.

Do you even test your missions before uploading?

 

BTW, that doesn't mean that this mission pack has to be dropped. It can still be saved if you put more effort in it.

I did put him there, but stupid DYOM didnt showed him...

Oh now you're wrong. You're the one who made the mistake here dude, not dyom.

I swear, i did put the actor, he was supposed to walk to the car and then time out ends and the car explodes. I put an actor with walking animation to the car and put a timeout of 11 seconds. When i tested mission actor didnt appear. I tried to edit the place 10000's of times and it still didnt work.

 

@alucardiff your posts look more like revenge-posting to me ;s I doubt you even tried more than 4 missions

[Rytuklis]

New mission added! Gas Theft!!!

 

Known bugs!: Guards wont follow their waypoints.

Bob wont enter your car

[alucardiff]

The last few missions are just a touch better than the first few missions. You have decent ideas, although you didn't show them good enough. For example, where you need to blow up that guy in the car. I didn't saw him coming from the restaurant, nor did I see him enter the car, nor did I press the detonator but still, the missions got finished.

Do you even test your missions before uploading?

 

BTW, that doesn't mean that this mission pack has to be dropped. It can still be saved if you put more effort in it.

I did put him there, but stupid DYOM didnt showed him...

Oh now you're wrong. You're the one who made the mistake here dude, not dyom.

I swear, i did put the actor, he was supposed to walk to the car and then time out ends and the car explodes. I put an actor with walking animation to the car and put a timeout of 11 seconds. When i tested mission actor didnt appear. I tried to edit the place 10000's of times and it still didnt work.

 

@alucardiff your posts look more like revenge-posting to me ;s I doubt you even tried more than 4 missions

I tried the first 2 and that's all I must to see you put absolutely no effort in these. Whatever. You put known bugs and didn't try to fix them? Honestly, who the f*ck can't fix Bob can't enter the car and guards don't follow waypoints..?