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Secrets of Topic Making GTAFORUMS doesn't want you


tuff_luv_capo

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tuff_luv_capo

 

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HI! I'm world-renowned infomercial spokesperson and best-selling self help author Kevin Trudea. If you stay up past 11pm and own a TV, you are already familiar with how I pay VIRTUALLY all of my bills!

 

Today I'm going to be bloating up a 2 chapter introduction, repeating things several times and making blanket derogatory statements about the "big corporations", assuming all people who buy my books are bitter Wal-mart greeters with a dream to overcome adversity, in an attempt to make my book a reasonable length- atleast enough to cover my ridiculous price which in reality, couldn't be big enough to stop your middle aged mother or overweight aunt from thinking she's missing out on the secrets of the universe! Secrets that I, Kevin VIRTUALLY Trudeau learned about all aspects of life, in lieu of virtually ANY education!

 

 

 

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Don't be deceived, this book WILL sit on your parents coffee table or makeshift bookshelf along with the other half-finished (That's the spot in the book where the motivation stops and the work comes in) self help books that were bought at full retail price- probably part of the reason he or she is in this debilitating circumstance to begin with.

 

 

Let's get to the meat and potatoes of this book- that's a reference all of my lower middle class consumers can understand.

 

Making a Really VIRTUALLY Good GTAF Topic

 

Now I know I keep making references to how we're going to start talking about something and get sh*t done, even though the last several paragraphs of this book contain virtually NO content what-so-ever! What I'm doing is building up a trust and report with you, the simple-minded loose-pocketed reader.

 

But just to humor you, I'll begin by saying making a good GTAF topic isn't nearly virtually as hard as you think!

 

First, all you need is a topic matter that isn't topical enough to be found on a top 10 google search of the week, but isn't obscure enough to alienate the reader or make people think you're a loner. For example, let's make a topic about.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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KIM KARDASHIAN

 

 

Few people are culturally aware of this undiscovered gem, and for those of you who are reading I'll give you a brief sit-rep: Kim Kardashian is famous for being famous. You see, her fame and fortune let her stumble into the spotlight to receive- you guessed it- fame and fortune! It's like staring into a mirror that's facing a mirror that's richer than you!

 

 

Now to make a good topic about this underground harlet, Kim Kardashian, don't go off making some stupid statements or showing documentation of things people don't already know, this is a discussion forum! Bring up events and ideas that are already well known and accepted, or better yet, just toss her name into the text box and let your topic viewers discuss and grow! It's like a topic chia pet!

 

 

 

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None of this would even matter to me even a little if there wasn't a way you could profit from this, however I found the glitch in that little loophole in virtually the amount of time it virtually takes you to virtually plug in your virtual boy!

 

 

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By marketing your product to the elderly or the insecure, you are virtually guaranteeing results from people who believe that buying your product is the only thing keeping them from seeing the truth.

 

The next step before publishing your topic is to ensure that all content is either completely agreeable or at least satisfactory to the greater masses- you wouldn't want to damage your online reputation, losing virtually all of your virtual friends.

 

Also, here's a little tip I'll throw in for free- even though adjectives like 'wonderful' or 'really' are already exclamations in themselves, be sure to end every sentence that you feel happy during with an exclamation point! That way people will read it as though you really are their friend! Don't worry about saturating the punctuation with unneeded use, what matters is that it works long enough for you to make money!

 

 

Be sure to tend to your topic by adding needless rebuttals or agreements with fellow posters in order to boost your reply count, and even more importantly, don't ever let your precious topic fall to the bottom of the page! If that ever may be the case, make sure to reply quickly, even if you were the last to post. If called out on it, be sure to explain that you virtually didn't know there was an edit button! Works virtually EVERY time almost always!

 

I have to cut this book short I'm afraid, but stay tuned for my follow-up book: "How to take good pictures of yourself if you're virtually a solid 6"

 

I am virtually teeing off with Madoff at 3, I must get to bed with my beautiful and naive wife, I virtually thank you for reading!

 

 

 

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Testimonials:

 

 

I followed this guide, and my topic made it to almost virtually 4 PAGES!

 

 

 

This guide has truly changed my life, I look at things from the otherside now, and it's AMAZING!

 

Thanks Kevin!

 

 

 

Edited by Tuff Luv Capo
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I honestly don know what to say about this topic. dontgetit.gif it's simply so true in every aspect.

Edited by fgcarva1
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That guy is just shy of being put behind bars. Thankfully he's not on TV here anymore.

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I followed this guide, and my topic made it to almost virtually 4 PAGES!

 

 

 

This guide has truly changed my life, I look at things from the otherside now, and it's AMAZING!

 

 

Thanks Kevin! icon14.gif

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tuff_luv_capo
I followed this guide, and my topic made it to almost virtually 4 PAGES!

 

 

 

This guide has truly changed my life, I look at things from the otherside now, and it's AMAZING!

 

 

Thanks Kevin! icon14.gif

Thanks for the testimonial!

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Very informative and well-made! Thanks for all the great pointers! I'm going to become an efficient and loved poster now, thanks to you!

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This is an absolutely riveting piece of work by Trudea. It's not only a guide to fame and fortune on GTAForums, but a guide to life. I began reading this book before I made my first topic, but you know what they say, the first topic is always the hardest. This book certainly proves that. It's a bible to life, more than anything. Trudea, you've captivated me and an entire community. Keep it up.

7FTgFLB.png

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I used to make topics about inane things then I read this book and all my topics are about virtually things people like. Thanks Trudea for virtually helping me with my topics!

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I hardly ever create topics, but next time i do ill follow this guide religiously...

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Thanks Kevin, for changing my life and my topics! inlove.gif

Good work with the book Trudea, it's absolutely insane! Thanks!

Dead (Retired)

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I'm adding a generic agreement here! This is probably virtually the best self help book I've ever read! The places I'll go with this knowledge, it's limitless! I now drive 4 different Ferraris, all thanks Trudea!

U R B A N I T A S

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It's like staring into a mirror that's facing a mirror that's richer than you!

This topic is amazing.

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I was waiting for a milestone to pop up, but it turned out I was virtually wrong really!

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lol.giflol.gif Next time I'll follow your guide!!! Shifty41s_beerhatsmilie2.gif

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This guide is so great it almost inspired me to make a topic just now.

 

Almost.

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Adam Jensen

This is the longest sarcastic post I've ever read. Good effort.

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Mister Pink
Gone are the days where I make topics about my mothers haemorrhoids or my sisters vaginal discharge problems! This is it! Thanks!
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I followed this guide after receiving an intrusive pamphlet at my place of business, and after a few hours of reading, I managed to create a topic that amassed virtually 10 pages of people telling me what they do that they think nobody else does but everybody actually does! Thank you Kevin!

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What the hell? How did you... I mean seriously, that is the best guide.

Thank you for making my topics famous!

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Sadly, however.... some time back, I lost my topic about "Twitter" R.I.P.

 

But I'd suspect one would have survived about Facebook.....yet ... sadly, no

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Sadly, however.... some time back, I lost my topic about "Twitter" R.I.P.

 

But I'd suspect one would have survived about Facebook.....yet ...  sadly, no

What are you talking about?

U R B A N I T A S

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Sadly, however.... some time back, I lost my topic about "Twitter" R.I.P.

 

But I'd suspect one would have survived about Facebook.....yet ...  sadly, no

What are you talking about?

God knows what he is talking about..............God knows cryani.gif

3lIXKDi.png

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tuff_luv_capo
Sadly, however.... some time back, I lost my topic about "Twitter" R.I.P.

 

But I'd suspect one would have survived about Facebook.....yet ... sadly, no

Posting in my topic won't bring your parents back, Slamman.

 

 

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Sadly, however.... some time back, I lost my topic about "Twitter" R.I.P.

 

But I'd suspect one would have survived about Facebook.....yet ...  sadly, no

What are you talking about?

God knows what he is talking about..............God knows cryani.gif

I just called up God.

 

When I asked him, he was like "Dude, what?"

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