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Emerald Families Stories


ViktorL

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Story

 

The year is 1994. The story is set in an ''alternate universe'', so it's not connected to the main storyline of San Andreas (Though some characters, like Big Bear, will appear).

 

After the Los Santos Riots in 1992, most of Los Santos's gangs were wiped out, and there were only three left:

 

The Emerald Families

La Onda

The Spanish Lords

 

Characters

 

David Park

Age: 24

Faction: The Emerald Families

Rank: Hood Rat

Vehicle: Greenwood

Weapons: Baseball bat, Pistol

 

Big Bear

Age: 27

Faction: The Emerald Families

Rank: Lieutenant

Vehicle: Hermes

Weapons: Knife, Pistol

 

Lion

Age: 24

Faction: The Emerald Families

Rank: Outsider

Vehicle: ?

Weapons: Knife, Pistol

 

 

Gangs

 

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The Emerald Families

Members: David Park, Big Bear, Lion

 

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La Onda

Members: ?

 

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Spanish Lords

Members: ?

Missions

 

The Introduction

Gangs In The Hood

Outsiders

Holed Up

A Reward For Your Loyalty

The Roar Of The Lion

 

Storyline

 

With the use of the Storyline feature, I will create a Storyline for this Mission pack. It will be set mostly in San Fierro, but also parts of Las Venturas and some missions in Los Santos. It will be set two years after the original missions, and contain around 20 missions.

Edited by ViktorL
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Welcome to the DYOM community smile.gif

I will check your missions out, it sounds like a decent story.

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Welcome to the DYOM community smile.gif

I will check your missions out, it sounds like a decent story.

Thank you for the welcome, and I hope you enjoy the missions!

 

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I gave it a shot:

 

Introduction: Nothing special, since it's just the intro but it wasn't bad at all. The only things that bothered me were the following bugs: 1. After you enter the house, you have a duplicate actor and 2. After getting out of the house, there are 2 cars. Instead of adding a new car objective, use a checkpoint instead or hide the previous car.

 

Gangs in the hood: A nice mission, not much to say about it. The length is good, but add a few more objectives and objects for variety and interest in the mission.

 

Outsiders: Same as Gangs In The Hood, not much to cry about. A pretty well designed mission, but as well as above, try to make longer cutscenes and objects.

 

Holed up: Same issues as mentioned above, although the shootout was very good designed!

 

So far, it's going pretty well. I like the gameplay scenes and love the awesome dialog, grammar and colored text but the missions should have a bit more objectives. Try to keep it at at least 25 objectives. And a very important point, this story seriously lacks character development and story. So far, I see a random gang member working with his gang. Which is simply nothing interesting. Also, all the other characters kinda act the same, try giving everyone their own personalities and a backstory. Otherwise, people will loose interest.

 

For the first 4 missions, I would give you a 5/10, not bad for a beginner. There's still a lot to improve.

 

I'm not a mission reviewer, just giving some feedback icon14.gif

 

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I gave it a shot:

 

Introduction: Nothing special, since it's just the intro but it wasn't bad at all. The only things that bothered me were the following bugs: 1. After you enter the house, you have a duplicate actor and 2. After getting out of the house, there are 2 cars. Instead of adding a new car objective, use a checkpoint instead or hide the previous car.

 

Gangs in the hood: A nice mission, not much to say about it. The length is good, but add a few more objectives and objects for variety and interest in the mission.

 

Outsiders: Same as Gangs In The Hood, not much to cry about. A pretty well designed mission, but as well as above, try to make longer cutscenes and objects.

 

Holed up: Same issues as mentioned above, although the shootout was very good designed!

 

So far, it's going pretty well. I like the gameplay scenes and love the awesome dialog, grammar and colored text but the missions should have a bit more objectives. Try to keep it at at least 25 objectives. And a very important point, this story seriously lacks character development and story. So far, I see a random gang member working with his gang. Which is simply nothing interesting. Also, all the other characters kinda act the same, try giving everyone their own personalities and a backstory. Otherwise, people will loose interest.

 

For the first 4 missions, I would give you a 5/10, not bad for a beginner. There's still a lot to improve.

 

I'm not a mission reviewer, just giving some feedback icon14.gif

Thank you for the feedback! I already know about the objectives. As for the development, I was planning to do a major plot twist, but for the sake of not spoiling, that's all I'll say for now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I really enjoyed your missions. It feels as if although I'm playing the "real" Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas alternate universe. You've done a great job so far, keep it up. 8.3/10

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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

Edited by alucardiff
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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

Take it easy man, not everybody knows everything about gang, if you're gonna insult him ,please f*ck off.

 

ONTOPIC: Great missions keep the good work man.

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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

Take it easy man, not everybody knows everything about gang, if you're gonna insult him ,please f*ck off.

 

ONTOPIC: Great missions keep the good work man.

Are you serious? Highlight the passage where I insulted him. I didn't, in any sentence.

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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

Take it easy man, not everybody knows everything about gang, if you're gonna insult him ,please f*ck off.

 

ONTOPIC: Great missions keep the good work man.

Are you serious? Highlight the passage where I insulted him. I didn't, in any sentence.

I was trying to mean if you WOULD smile.gif

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Sorry for my recent inactivity, but I've had some real life problems. I'm also sad to announce that this project has been cancelled. I appreciate the feedback and compliments, and I will have them in mind when I create any other projects. Once again, thank you.

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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

These tips wasnt honest.

 

I find it pretty much self advertising

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You got massive potential- but you're not using 1/10 of it. I've got some tips for you:

1 - WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE HOOD RAT AS A RANK? JESUS! A hood rat is not a gangsta, a hood rat is the hood's local goddamn prostitute, JESUS!!

2 - Hood slang. 'Chea as yeah, 'aight as alright, etc. etc.

3 - Hood life. Goes perfectly with hood slang, 'cause gangsters don't say stuff like "of course, I will now go murder the rival Ballas member". He would much rather say " 'aight, I'm bouncin' to blast 'dat fake ass mof*cker." People in the hood are poor, so unless you make some missions about making money, you shouldn't spawn weapons and cars at his house ( just a tip ).

4- then comes a major let-down. "After the Los Santos Riots, the gangs were wiped out." That's simply illogical. Los Angeles has over 2,000 GANGS. The ones you see on TV and documentaries are major gangs, such as Bloods and Crips. You should change it to "The only major gangs that remained are...".

5 - Please, for the sake of fun - don't turn it like SA did. At first CJ was a gangsta, hood life and stuff, and then you're a black guy in a suit with a jetpack and two tec-9's... that's NOT gangsta and NOT how the game was made to play in my opinion. Keep it hood!

 

I also STRONGLY SUGGEST you check my Los Santos Chronicles on gang life.

Do the things I said and practice for a bit and you deserve the title of DYOM professional.

These tips wasnt honest.

 

I find it pretty much self advertising

Alright, f*ck off, so far you and Gorgonit have been bashing everybody on the forums, so shove it, ok?

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General Scrotum

1- Tips.

2- Calm comment about these.

3- Hostilities.

 

f*ck off?

 

EDIT: If you can't stand beeing commented on your tips: ^

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