Sam998 Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Read my memoir and you will understand this more. I was hesitant to do a poem but at the very worst my topic gets locked and I look stupid for awhile ------ All I can do is simply wait But there is so much to say But I can never be, in the same vicinity As the destructive monsters, behind veils of anonymity My hate will go quelled I wish them to hell Living to hurt, with the thoughts of a hero Justice never given, in two ways this I know As the pain lowers, time goes on As time goes on, I see more wrong Every hope I ever have gets dashed All I ever see is the past But now I must jump to forgiveness, If given to my friend, why not to my foe? Living destroyed, only hurts I know Crushing in on my body and thoughts Squeezing out life, by tear and shock To forgive such great release, How can it not help me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mokrie Dela Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Not bad. an impression I got was that the work seemed to eager to rhyme - in the sense that (i personally got) it seemed fast. Obviously everyone has different writing styles, but sometimes you can rhyme alternate lines - i personally find that more fluid and it allows you to write more freely. This being linked to the memoir, ( which I've only had a glimpse at, as I gotta start work ;P ) it seems as though there is something behind it - that it MEANS something (as opposed to most songs etc nowadays). I like seeing that. I also like seeing people give poetry a shot. We need more of it here. As for quality it's no worse then some of the stuff I've wrote (that I've been told is good, but that's not for me to say), but if this is a first for you, or at least something you don't do often, it's not bad. The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Click here to view my Poetry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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