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A poem/song I wrote.


Stig

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Well, first off I'll start with this: I'm not much of a writer, I've played/composed/written music for around 8 years now. From time to time I'll try my hand at writing some lyrics to a piece I've written, but I've never really had the ability to put down what I really feel onto paper. Well I gave it a shot last night, so let me know what you think.

 

Some background, it's mostly about this drab, dreary town I live in. A little economically depressed town in the middle of an economically depressed state, the state of New York. Anyway, here you go:

 

 

If you were to paint a portrait,

 

Of my everyday life,

 

You'd notice a resemblance.

 

As each day is alike.

 

Reciprocated, re-animated as each day before,

 

Everyday is recreated, little detail is ignored.

 

Friends that are brothers can't see the change.

 

The mirror of everyday life is that of which to blame.

 

Oh, the only decision that my eyes do see fit,

 

Is to pack up the car and quickly jump ship.

 

Down the river of tarmac my wheels will float,

 

Out of this desolate town that is covered with smoke.

 

I just can't seem to leave these friends behind,

 

All wounds do heal with the medicine of time.

 

I'll leave this town unlike the rest,

 

I'll leave this town to die with the best.

 

 

 

Well, let me know what you guys think. To be honest, I don't think that it's all that great. I'd be delighted to hear what you all think, though. smile.gif

 

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It's a nice set you've got going. It'd be kind of hard to make it a song but this definitely fits well as a poem you'd hear in a low-lit club. I dig it, but there's never much criticism to be given to a poem.

 

The transition from explaining the drab town to escaping and living free was good, I like when things end on a good note and it works. smile.gif

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Unoriginal - Thanks man, I understand how someone might think that it would be hard to work with a song, but I'm working on it. I appreciate the feedback, icon14.gif.

 

GTAIndo - I'm not so sure about that one, but thanks for the complement.

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Yeah, I liked it it flowed well and it certainly painted a picture ( tounge.gif )

 

I've tried my hand at poems and it really is hard to get feelings on paper.

So good job for doing it man, makes me want to try harder.

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Yeah, I liked it it flowed well and it certainly painted a picture ( tounge.gif )

 

I've tried my hand at poems and it really is hard to get feelings on paper.

So good job for doing it man, makes me want to try harder.

Thanks man, we share the same problem then I see haha. I appreciate the compliments though, I'm glad I could be somewhat of an inspiration to you, smile.gif.

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