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EuroEnglish - The New Official European Language


Mister Pink

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Mister Pink

 

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

 

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

 

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

 

Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

 

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

 

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

 

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

 

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....

 

http://englishlanguage.pen.io/

 

Next phase for globalisation. Check.

 

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Spider-Vice

That looks odd, they're still putting the Germans in first with the K!

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Machiavelli's Prophecy

Wait I don't get it. They decide to go with English instead of German but by using a 5-year plan they're going to change english to.. german? The f*ck?

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Mister Pink
That looks odd, they're still putting the Germans in first with the K!

'C' has many different sounds. 'K' only has one. It's to avoid confusion.

 

@Machiavelli: That's just a little joke the writer of the article is doing.

 

Sorry guys I just found out this is old news.

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AlexGTAGamer

Instead of EuroEnglish shouldn't it be GermanEnglish then? Zo ve al speak lik thiz? Nein? biggrin.gif How stupid.

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Jesus, GTAForums just isn't the same if people are believing this thing which has been circulating the Internet for f*ck knows how long.

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Thank God this isn't real, but it does sound like something the European Union would do...

user posted image
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Reminds me of Newspeak, except this looks retarded.

Funny joke, I loved the fifth year bit.

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I vuz loling ze entire read.

Hah! You undz me bothz.

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What the f*ck?

 

They already ruined the Portuguese language trying to fix it with Portuguese BR, now this?

 

I'm sticking with the good old Portuguese and English.

 

 

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But portuguse from portugal sounds very different from portuguese from brazil

Here we dont even imaginate us saying "oh como estaveis GAJOS" i dont fking know what means "gajo"....

 

Its like english from USA and from Australia... sounds different...

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Its like english from USA and from Australia... sounds different...

Or even English from...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...England.

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riquenunes

 

What the f*ck?

 

They already ruined the Portuguese language trying to fix it with Portuguese BR, now this?

Ours sounds cooler, k? mad.gif

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Portuguese people looks like they have men balls in their mouth when they speak...

 

They increase voice very differently in a same word like "Tu EsTAveISH BEeimM GAjO?"

Cristiano Ronaldo is an example...

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Yes, I'm sure they all speak in exactly the same way.

 

 

dozingoff.gif

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Yes, I'm sure they all speak in exactly the same way.

 

 

dozingoff.gif

If you know portuguese as much as you know english you should say that they speak ALL in the same way... (without sarcasm)

 

Search a video in youtube and prove that you are wrong or right

Can you do it? sarcasm.gif

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Yes, I'm sure they all speak in exactly the same way.

 

 

dozingoff.gif

If you know portuguese as much as you know english you should say that they speak ALL in the same way... (without sarcasm)

 

Search a video in youtube and prove that you are wrong or right

Can you do it? sarcasm.gif

mercie_blink.gif

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

Make sense.

 

Can you do it? sarcasm.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

(a handful of youtube videos does not represent an entire country)

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Are you that thick?

 

How does one video represent everyone from Portugal?

 

10 videos wouldn't represent all of Portugal.

 

100 videos wouldn't even represent all of Portugal.

 

 

 

 

 

Your logic is severely flawed.

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Well most people from portugal (and angola,moçambique,and others) speak in that way...

 

Edited by ZDANZ96
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Well most people from portugal (and angola,moçambique,and others) speak in that way...

There is literally no way for you to know that.

 

 

 

Im sorry for them

 

 

I'm sorry for you.

 

 

Very sorry.

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riquenunes

I really don't give two f*cks about how they speak different from us, they must think our Portuguese is as strange as we think theirs are.

In other hand, that chick was kinda cute.

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I really don't give two f*cks about how they speak different from us, they must think our Portuguese is as strange as we think theirs are.

 

See, that's a good attitude in my opinion. biggrin.gif

 

Edited by *MURDOC*
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riquenunes

So... does anyone know her phone number? tounge.gif

Edited by H3NR1QU3
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Well most people from portugal (and angola,moçambique,and others) speak in that way...

Im sorry for them

Why the f*ck do you feel sorry for them? They f*cking invented the language, they are using it properly!

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Formerly known as The General

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nightwalker83
and English.

What good is learning more than one language when you can't even get the first one correct? I say this from an English speaking (Australian) point of view. English as a language has gone down the plug-hole.

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and English.

What good is learning more than one language when you can't even get the first one correct?

Who exactly are you referring to?

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