Mr White0161 Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Some words some should take into consideration.... Thou who show honour can respect one another.Thee who show no loyalty nor discipline shall not gain respect, Never to double cross nor betray, keep thy honour. For thou it shall reward you in thy future. -D0N Bianco Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MURDOC* Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 The last line seems kind of odd with the redundant "thou". Since "thou" essentially means "you", the line would basically say "For you it shall reward you in your future." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr White0161 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Constructive criticism to work with. haha, I honestly didn't put much thought into it I pretty much just made it up a few moments before it was posted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MURDOC* Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I figured it might be something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr White0161 Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 Yeah, another thing like that is one I posted the other day called "Betrayed" it's nothing spectacular because I didn't put much work into it. But whatever, I like to write that's what keeps me going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*MURDOC* Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 That's cool man, if it's what you enjoy, then by all means, do it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavadoCrimeFamily Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 We Stand as one Breath as one and live, as one. Our spirit's are free but our mind is closed For 'the' who mistreats the rule's Life is nothing. Living...impossible. Sorry for butting in on your pride and joy. I thought it would suite the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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