Making friends

[trip]

@RobsEpicFret, you can help out your GTAF existence by switching back to normal colored text.

 

T.Rez, like others have said - small talk goes a long way. Maybe find a cafe or some other semi social public place to make your regular 'place'. Even if you just go alone, eventually the staff will know you and chances are some of the repeat customers will recognize you too - then bust out your small talk with an honest smile.

 

[TEoS]

Gonna need pics to confirm, but it is it possible you're just really ugly and you're talking to people out of your league? You've gotta be Ryan Seacrest charming to make up for being uggo.

[T.Rez]

Gonna need pics to confirm, but it is it possible you're just really ugly and you're talking to people out of your league? You've gotta be Ryan Seacrest charming to make up for being uggo.

I have a girlfriend. If people don't want to be friends with me because of my looks then they are not worth my time. Also smiling for me is hard because I don't like smiling and I'm only confident after I've had a few.

[*MURDOC*]

Does your girlfriend have friends?

[EmoNinja909]

You've gotta be Ryan Seacrest charming to make up for being uggo.

Charming? Pass whatever you're smoking over here.

[SmC12]

You said you had older friends who you don't see often? Try and hang out with them more, and then people will see you with them and it might make you look more sociable and more people might approach you for conversation and such. Don't worry about the people in the same lecture as you, it's only a few hours. However your all there for the same reason, whatever the subject is, so there you go! You all have one similar interest.

 

Try not to worry about it too much. And tbh most of the people you talk about don't sound like nice people to be friends with anyway. Do you have a job? Or at least when your finished college/uni/whatever and you find a job you like, everyone you work with will have the same intersts as you so you've still got loads of chances to make great friends. Don't worry about it, and just be happy that you have a life - so you can still do anything.

[RobsEpicFret]

@RobsEpicFret, you can help out your GTAF existence by switching back to normal colored text.

 

T.Rez, like others have said - small talk goes a long way. Maybe find a cafe or some other semi social public place to make your regular 'place'. Even if you just go alone, eventually the staff will know you and chances are some of the repeat customers will recognize you too - then bust out your small talk with an honest smile.

sorry just wanted to try it out,did not like really that is why I Stopped

 

To OP:i agree with buying loads of new clothes and a haircut

maybe you will get compliments(OR mean comments)

if its a compliment maybe there might be a way to start a conversation

Make sure to say something about thier clothes or hairstyle too,everyone likes a compliment in return

from that you can start a friendship if you think the person who compliment you suits you well as a friend

i don't know how college is like but in my middle school is still possible even for a guy like me who has a very unique taste and is a bit quiet.

 

just make sure not to make lame jokes.

talking about experience

Oooh good ol' 6th grade

[Drift-Kingz]

Whatever you do, don't follow Robs advice.

 

Be yourself, and that's it. If someone doesn't like the way you are, re-locate. Don't care what other people think, just be independent. There are a lot of people out there that respect independent people.

 

Also, ignore what I said about trying to blend in. Some people look like fools doing that.

[XMike]

You say your at a university? Join a club that relates to something you like to do, there has to be some sort of club set up that interests you somewhat. Probably the best way to meet people in college, and especially to get invited to parties.

[ZDANZ96]

Maybe you are just following the wrong people...

 

Find the people that looks like you, walk with them or try at least to be friendly...

People today are just false as hell ,dont believe in anybody (or just dont trust in the wonderwall music lol 0

[RobsEpicFret]

Whatever you do, don't follow Robs advice.

 

Be yourself, and that's it. If someone doesn't like the way you are, re-locate. Don't care what other people think, just be independent. There are a lot of people out there that respect independent people.

 

Also, ignore what I said about trying to blend in. Some people look like fools doing that.

i don't mean be someone else

i meant getting new clothes of your taste not some "crooked flat brimmed hat with BLANG BLANG, sagging Pants and wearing the same color in the same outfit"(if its how you dress then its ok,your being yourself),don't try to impress someone

there are better ways to start a conversation but the OP Seems to have a problem with it and i used to have it in elementary

i just gave him the most simple way to make one

but if nothing works for you,i don't know what to tell ya,make friends from school in facebook?

 

but I think XMike's advice should do it

Join a Club.

 

[unopescio]

Thank you for all the advice guys. I feel like I know where I went wrong. Beginning of the year spent way too much time trying to get with a girl I really liked who lives in the same flat as me. I'm one of those guys who falls in love with every girl who is nice to me. I feel like I deliberately ruined my chances of making friends with people just so I could follow this girl and have her accept me.

 

Whenever I go to nightclubs, the music is too loud to strike up a conversation. I sometimes wonder if I should take up smoking just so I have a reason to go outside. My dental hygiene is ok, don't have great teeth but don't have hideous ones and I brush so my breath doesn't stink.

 

I try talking to people about things I like but usually we don't have the same interests. I'm usually fearful of talking to people about music because most people seem to only listen to top 40. The guys in flat are potheads and I don't smoke so I can't just hang out with them. I just feel people ignore me in lectures, I seriously feel like standing up and just saying "I hope you all die" sometimes.

 

 

When was the last time you stopped to make sure you weren't ginger?

 

 

My old friends haven't lost interest, we just go to different unis. We still meet every now and again.

Could it be?

 

[Rhoda]

When a friend of mine moved into halls, he just propped his door open with a fire extinguisher, played some music and offered people a beer from a crate he'd bought. He was a bit of a dickhead, but it worked.

[Ottae]

A lot of the mates I have at uni I know through adding them on Facebook before we started the course, funnily enough. Granted there was a few from my college course all going to the same uni so that helped, but just sending someone an add and saying "Hey, we're on the same course" and then finding a mutual interest.

 

On that point, you're much more likely to find someone who has similar interests to you on your course or in your class, since you already know you're both interested in whatever you're studying. I remember talking to my course mates properly for the first time, we started chatting about the course itself and the tutors etc then went on to talk about other related stuff.

 

It might even be easier to go up to a group of friends who are in your class or who you already kind of know and start getting involved in their conversation. Chances are if they're not that familiar with each other they won't have many inside jokes yet and you can ride the wave that is the breaking of the ice. People tend to be A LOT friendlier when they don't know each other as well.

 

Which brings me on to my final point, you should definitely join a Society if you have the option to. Everyone there will like at least one thing you do, maybe even more depending on the society. If you join at the start of next year they'll be a ton of new people you can talk to and make friends with and this'll be easier based on the fact that people are friendlier when they don't know each other.

 

Don't be worried about any age differences either, it doesn't matter if the people you meet are going to be a year younger than you. My flatmates are all 2 years younger than me and we all get on as if there's no age difference. If you get on it early next year when all the freshers start and try and make a few friends during fresher's week or whatever, you stand a much greater chance of meeting some cool people.

 

Hope that helps, just speaking from my personal experience really. Feel free to PM me

[danjodan]

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

[Oddsock]

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

Don't do this.

[danjodan]

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

Don't do this.

why?

[Raptomex]

When I ask this question to people, they tell that I just need to "talk to people". I do this, but I find that conversations go nowhere, they stay at just small talk. I'm 19 years old, at university, living in halls and I've made no real friends. This is suppose to be the best time of my life yet its been f*cking sh*t to put it bluntly. I don't understand where I go wrong, I talk to people but they show no interest in me or just go off and talk to other people. I'm tired of sitting in my room by myself night after night. I feel like its affecting my work, I have an exam tomorrow and this is all I can think about.

 

How do you guys make friends who you will talk to again and again?

 

thank you for listening.

Best time of your life? f*ck that. Once you enter high school, it's hell until you exit college. I mean I have friends I'm close too but that doesn't make those years not suck. Lol, silly. You'll get through it don't worry. f*ck the world. Just keep moving.

[Moth]

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

Don't do this.

why?

Because it makes you look like an idiot. People will not accept your invite if they don't know you. Plus it makes you look desperate friends, thus making them think you are a loser, and you don't want that.

[TheBlackProject]

When I ask this question to people, they tell that I just need to "talk to people". I do this, but I find that conversations go nowhere, they stay at just small talk. I'm 19 years old, at university, living in halls and I've made no real friends. This is suppose to be the best time of my life yet its been f*cking sh*t to put it bluntly. I don't understand where I go wrong, I talk to people but they show no interest in me or just go off and talk to other people. I'm tired of sitting in my room by myself night after night. I feel like its affecting my work, I have an exam tomorrow and this is all I can think about. 

 

How do you guys make friends who you will talk to again and again?

 

thank you for listening.

Best time of your life? f*ck that. Once you enter high school, it's hell until you exit college. I mean I have friends I'm close too but that doesn't make those years not suck. Lol, silly. You'll get through it don't worry. f*ck the world. Just keep moving.

Starting at high school? Nah, it starts at Junior High. 7th and 8th grade were probably the worst years of my life. But college isn't hell, and neither is high school. As long as you're outgoing I don't see how it can be hell.

[Adler]

There's worse things than high school. I actually think it's a fun experience apart from the class/homework.

 

EDIT: Oh yeah forgot to mention the standardized tests. Nothing makes you appear ordinary than tests that supposedly measure your ability while disregarding your other skills, quirks, and experience.

 

Making friends is more useful than taking those tests since you'd at least have connections or someone to talk to. I would suggest forming study groups so that you'd have the class to talk about if not your interests.

Edited May 13, 2011 by Adler

[RobsEpicFret]

i taught Junior High to High school was supposed to be your Wonder Years

[Raptomex]

When I ask this question to people, they tell that I just need to "talk to people". I do this, but I find that conversations go nowhere, they stay at just small talk. I'm 19 years old, at university, living in halls and I've made no real friends. This is suppose to be the best time of my life yet its been f*cking sh*t to put it bluntly. I don't understand where I go wrong, I talk to people but they show no interest in me or just go off and talk to other people. I'm tired of sitting in my room by myself night after night. I feel like its affecting my work, I have an exam tomorrow and this is all I can think about. 

 

How do you guys make friends who you will talk to again and again?

 

thank you for listening.

Best time of your life? f*ck that. Once you enter high school, it's hell until you exit college. I mean I have friends I'm close too but that doesn't make those years not suck. Lol, silly. You'll get through it don't worry. f*ck the world. Just keep moving.

Starting at high school? Nah, it starts at Junior High. 7th and 8th grade were probably the worst years of my life. But college isn't hell, and neither is high school. As long as you're outgoing I don't see how it can be hell.

I'm not outgoing. And I'm not a fan of people and popular cultures in today's modern world. I graduated with a bunch of tools and didn't like about 70% of my graduating class. High school was just downright horrible. The douchebags you have to see everyday. I'm not against education but the entire educational system needs to be overhauled. Half the sh*t they teach you isn't that important yet you need to know it to graduate and get into college. The extracarricular activities I never cared for and the gay social functions/events were just terrible. Homecoming for example, f*ck the high school football team. I don't like anybody on the team and I'd rather watch the pros. Pep rally, retarded. Prom, I was asked, by the girl I like who I'm actually very good friends with. Did I go? No. I told her no. Do you know why? It's gay. Once again seeing people you don't like in school, I don't want to see them outside of school. I hate dressing up, I hate dancing. And I'm not spending the money. Ridiculous. I can see my friends outside of school for free, without dressing up, and without seeing the rest of the douchebags. Problem solved. Then I graduated, and eventually made my way up now. Working for a company providing help desk support. I left that world behind and I'm glad I did. So my statement still stands, f*ck the world, just keep going.

[Tyler]

I've had an anxiety problem for a bit of time now myself. The main problem is that I'm good at first impressions and the whole 'getting to know each other' phase, but I start to fade away after that. I lose interest in the person and we usually get into our first argument, afterwards not talking to each other again. In a way I'm more of a leech. Recycling friends, barely able to keep ties with old friends and family, not feeling like I used to and all that. Don't want to steal your thread, but just wanted to let you know you're not the only one bro.

 

Also, Terrible Lie is my favourite Reznor song. Pretty Hate Machine never gets old.

[kmlwin.1996]

Don't be afraid. Get in the society. Talk more. You can make it.

[danjodan]

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

Don't do this.

why?

Because it makes you look like an idiot. People will not accept your invite if they don't know you. Plus it makes you look desperate friends, thus making them think you are a loser, and you don't want that.

But if you know the person to see it coud be cool, I added most people from my school on facebook and im not friends with them they just know of me.

[T.Rez]

I've decided to join the animation and gaming society because I'm no good at sports so this should be the perfect place. I'll join next year as the year is now over for me and I don't intend to spend much time at halls. Thank you to everyone for all the advice you gave me, you're actually the most helpful people on the internet.

 

Also adding people on FB doesn't really help, I've made 20 facebook friends from uni and by no means would I really count the vast majority of those as any kind of friend. I stopped going to parties in my flat because it was impossible to talk to people and I found that I didn't bond with those people.

 

And I do not look like Will from Inbetweeners! If I did more people would probably talk to me to tell me that I look like him.

[Mega]

As you live in the UK i guess the right way to do is to get sh*tfaced (cheap drinks) at SU or societies parties and watch some football games. Pretend to be for anything that is not manU/chelsea/arsenal and it should do the job.

[A J]

not sure if further advice is required, but i found myself in a similar situation for the last 3 years.

 

unlike you though, i travelled to and from home to uni, in lectures i rarely spoke to people or people hardly took

notice of me too, gradually though things do get better, i think you need to be yourself, don't be afraid of what people think and just try to make conversations with as many people as possible, its not easy i know but its all you can do.

 

alcohol helps a lot if u are shy, but dnt become dependent on it!

[ska]

 

add some of the people you know from colledge on facebook.THey will say top you the next day"Hey you added me on facebook" ands tart the convo from their.

Obviously this is the most logical solution. Whatever you do though, do not forget the Pop-Tarts.