Hilary Clintons Plot to Kill All Children

[Sam998]

My first post in this section of the forum, I did read the rules though. Sorry if I missed something.

 

Bill Clinton was known as one of the greatest speakers of all time. He was admired by the American public, and many others around the world. His wife however, was a total bitch. She grew tired of his success, his popularity, his life. So in 1995, her jealousy made all kids fat. Here's how she did it....

 

"Hey Bill, what's the plan for today?" Hilary said with her sickening intentions in mind.

"Well uh, Hilary, I'm going to jam my penis right up Ms. Lewinskys tender butt hole, that's okay right?" -Bill with his even more sickening intentions in mind.

"Oh...I guess that's alright..." Hilary was just glad there would never be a worse president.

"Thanks Hildog!" Bill was just glad he could have sex with Lewinsky

 

Hilary assumed this would give her enough time. She needed a test subject. She decided on Pedro, the immigrant child she had used for some bullsh*t fundraising. She called Pedros mother.

 

"Hello Ms. Immigrant, may I speak with your son Pedro?"-Hilary said

"what about Pedro? Is he stealing from my purse?" -Ms. Immigrant

"Um, I just need to see him. It's important." -Hilary

"You need to steal him? Bill is impotent?"-Ms Immigrant

"...Yes, yes sure. Where could I find him?" -Hilary

"He's buying some vibrators from the strip club. I'll tell him to come see you Clintonio"-Ms Immigrant than hangs up.

 

Jack, Hilary's scientist, walked over.

"So. We kidnap the Mexican, find a way to make him fat. Then we release that as a way to fatten up, then kill, all other children." - Jack

"Yes Jack, yes. Wouldn't this be a good place to stop and pause for a sequel?"

[saltinespike]

This doesn't deserve it's own topic. This section is for those serious about writing, not children who mash words together with whatever arbitrary bullsh*t that comes to mind. Don't post again unless you'd like to be a little bit more mature.

[Josh]

I'm not really sure what the point of this is to be honest. It's like you wanted to write a story so you rushed it through and forgot about punctuation and making sense. It doesn't really go anywhere and it looks like you lost interest yourself at the start of the last paragraph judging by your terrible final few lines. How can this story have a sequel when you can't even be bothered to finish it off in the first place?

 

So yeah, I'm with saltinespike, not very impressed.

[Rhoda]

I know you tried to be edgy, and that's fine, but there's very little backing it up. You combine tenses and different writing styles and that, aside from the content, is what makes this unreadable. Do have read around this section and see what fellow writers are posting. Compare your style with theirs and see if there's something you can work on.