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MORTE! a GTA story series


Canofceleri

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Canofceleri

 

Liberty City is the worst place in America... and Claude is it's most badass citizen.

 

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CHAPTER ONE: LOOSE ENDS (THE EXCHANGE)

 

 

The city smells like piss and the smog makes it hard to breathe for Claude. He knows what he has to do when Catalina calls.

 

CATALINA: I have Maria. There's no use in fighting it now. I want 1 million dollars or the bitch gets it!

 

CLAUDE: You really are something else, Catalina. First you shoot me outside the bank and leave me for dead, now you're holding a ransom over my head! Do you know how hard it is for me to talk?

 

Catalina sighs into the phone before laughing in Claude's face.

 

CATALINA: Should I feel pity? If you have anxiety and cannot speak is that my fault? Is it my fault that I kidnapped your girl? Yes! But that's business! I want that money now!

 

Claude throws the phone to the ground and breaks it at once. he was so mad you could see the blood vessel on his forehead.

 

CLAUDE: NEVER! I will find you both and I will kill you, Catalina!

 

He shouted to no one in the middle of a busy street outside of St. Mark's Marco's Bistro. Everyone on the street looked at him strange but he didn't give a damn, he had to save Maria's life and kill Catalina at the same time!

He didn't have money for ransom.

 

With that he sped off in a hijacked dodo but quickly found it impossible to fly. He would have to drive to Shoreside Vale.

 

He yanked an Indian out of some yellow cab and sped off into the day. He went over the bridge with blinding speed and in about three minutes he was in sunny Shoreside Vale.

 

CARTEL MAN: GRINGO!

 

CLAUDE: It's the Cartel! Catalina, YOU BITCH!

 

Claude pulled out his shotgun and started to blast the Colombians in a shower of bloodshed and betrayal anger.

 

Suddenly a bullet zipped into Claude and makes his arm skin bleed.

 

CLAUDE: f*ck!

 

CATALINA: HAHAHAHAHA! Your arm is bleeding, honey dick!!

 

CLAUDE: CATALINA< YOU BITCH! I'LL F- I'll kill you bitch!

 

MARIA: CLAUDE!

 

CLAUDE: MARIA!

 

Claude suddenly gets a breath of fresh air, a second wind and makes a dash to take cover behind one of the cartels trucks. Unfortunately he is as bad at covering during shootouts as he is as bad as he is at swimming. But he doesn't die.

 

CLAUDE: AGH!

 

he screams a primal gutteral scream and unloads his guns killing every cartel insight with blood-borne accuracy!

 

CATALINA: My cartel! You'll pay!

 

Claude can see Catalina in the distance as she pulls Maria closer and puts a gun to her throat!

 

CLAUDE: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Claude jumps in slow motion shooting his gun with slow motion bullets coming out!

 

But it was to late.

 

CLAUDE: NO! NO! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

He yells as Catalina slits her throat! At first he is sad when he sees Catalina slit Maria's throat but when he sees that his slow-motion bullets missed Catalina and make Maria even more dead by rushing her already murdered skull and making it bleed poorly he is even sadder.

 

Catalina rushes off the scene. When he sees her flying off in a dodo plane he is impressed though, despite his anger.

 

CLAUDE: Bitch must've practiced hard to get that thing in flight.

 

he said and wiped the sweat off his brow and the spit off his lip.

 

Then he swore that he would track her down until the day he dies and avenge Maria's death.

 

CLAUDE: Someday... and it may take many many chapters... I will kill you Catalina! That will be the best line in my book of life!

 

Claude speeds off in his shoes to go back to Marco's Bistro and finish his Italian.

 

 

NEXT CHAPTER REAL SOON!

 

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UglyCasanova

Hmmm, well Candarelli, this is definitely a...interesting piece. Of course, though, all your pieces are interesting. And maybe it's that satirical bite you pack in each of your shorts that really gets me excited, and this is no different. The comedy is subtle, and even at times outright silly. If the point was to entertain, you sure got your point across. Though, for a parody, it isn't as obvious as it could be. The quick break in the fourth wall at the end was pretty slick, and I think you can fit in more of that kind of satirizing.

 

Personally, it can easily be posted by someone else and be taken seriously, which might be your point, but I think it would work better as a parody which doesn't take itself seriously at all. Sure, there was the obvious, over-the-top violence that makes no sense in the real world, only in the GTA world, the the overly dramatic reaction of Claude is gold, but I feel you could possibly take it a little further.

 

But that's just my two cents. What would I know about scripts and such?

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Canofceleri

 

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CHAPTER TWO: AN INTERESTING CHARACTER

 

 

It had been many days since the tragedy at Shoreside Vale. Initially Claude could taste blood, he spent all afternoon tearing up the asphalt of Liberty City looking for the treacherous Catalina.

 

However, the ensuing days found Claude, and his modest Portland studio apartment, a shambles. He drank bottle after bottle of beer, so many bottles littered the floor in fact that he no longer walked around his place but rolled instead.

 

He decided to go out for an afternoon stroll to clear his head.

 

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir!

 

Claude turned to meet the lady and quickly found himself looking down at an apparently high-pitched homeless man.

 

MAN: Sir, can you help me?

 

Claude, uninterested in what the beggar wanted started to turn around and walk away.

 

MAN: I know who you're looking for.

 

This quickly earned Claude's attention.

 

CLAUDE: Catalina!

 

MAN: Yes, yes, Catalina!

 

Claude ran up to the man and instantly lifted him off the ground. He held him by his neck and shouted:

 

CLAUDE: What's your name, old man?!

 

The old man penetrated with Claude's eyes... and saiid...

 

DARKEL.

 

CLAUDE: How do you know all this, Darkel?

 

Claude asked after regaining control and setting the man back down on the piss stained streets of the city.

 

DARKEL: I will tell you for 10 bucks!

 

Claude thought for a moment and Darkel continued.

 

DARKEL: Buut... if you don't have the 10 I'll take 2 dollars to watch your car for you while you enjoy your stroll.

 

CLAUDE: You really want to piss me off! TELL ME NOW AND I'LL BUY YOUR SPANK FOR YOU!

 

DARKEL: Ah, spaaank....

 

Darkel said while appearing to quickly go in and out of consciousness as a result of the orgasmic association he has with spank.

 

CLAUDE: What the--what's that smell?

 

DARKEL: Oh, pardon me.

 

He said and then rolled over on his newspaper bed to reveal a bare ass with sh*t coming out of it.

 

DARKEL: I haven't gone in awhile, it's the spank. So when I go I don't even realize.

 

CLAUDE: Sick f*ck! Where's Catalina!

 

DARKEL: Go to the bathroom at Mama's Ristorante, the second to the last stall. Be there at 7 pm and stomp your foot three times. You'll have your answer then.

 

CLAUDE: You sure are a weird looking guy, if you're lying I will kill you!

 

DARKEL: I wouldn't mess up a chance to get spank!

 

Claude went back to his house and set the alarm for 6:30. He'd need all the rest he could get for his sweet revenge on the awful Catalina.

 

 

NEXT CHAPTER REAL SOON!

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Ronmar The Only

Heh, I like Claude's line at the end of the first chapter. Pretty fun.

 

You switched tenses in the opening lines of the first chapter, from present "The city smells like piss" to "he was so mad you could see the blood vessel on his forehead."

 

I'd also say that "he was so mad you could see the blood vessels on his forehand" is not as good as something like "blood vessels pop on Claudes forehead while his teeth lay bared for all." Give it more "show" don't "tell."

 

(Which I really dislike as something that teachers say in fiction classes, though not so much whenever one follows a script type format)

 

 

Hmmm, also, my personally don't care these semi-script types. I'm only commenting on it because I think this is more of a satirical fan-fic, though if I'm misreading one's intentions, lay into me.

 

Are those old Claude tales still on the forums? I need to search for those if they are.

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UglyCasanova

Would've been funnier to go for an afternoon roll to clear his head.

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Canofceleri

Ronmar, I don't think so. I went paranoid a couple months ago and deleted the vast majority of my work on here.

 

As for the intention, I wouldn't really say this is a satirical piece though I completely understand why you would think so.

 

I have a concept for this series of pieces that I don't want to spoil, assuming you have faith and an interest in my work to see where it goes. But I will say, that if I stick with it as planned, it might be one of my more interesting works when it is all said and done.

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Canofceleri

 

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CHAPTER THREE: !

 

 

Claude disabled the alarm one minute before it was set to go off, he hadn't been able to sleep.

 

Outside, he grabbed his glowing bat and hid it before embarking on a run to Mama's Ristorante.

 

"f*ck you!" a man shouted to him on the streets which he found unusually crowded. The words of the man sounded more vivid than words had ever sounded and the content... Claude was nonplussed. f*ck? he thought? He had never heard a word which sounded so vulgar before though the meaning or etymology eluded him.

 

HOOKER: All I wanna do is knock boots!

 

Claude felt a growling coming from his abdomen that he couldn't process, the mere onset of any feeling caused him great dismay which in itself was brand new as well.

 

He quickly darted for the hospital to run by some health and armor.

 

Feeling better, he sprinted for Mama's. 7 pm was rapidly approaching.

 

Now at his destination, Claude walked into the restaurant bathroom. He made his way inside the stall and prepared himself mentally.

 

STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

 

The bathroom became super quiet, as if the air had been sucked out of the space.

 

The voice of a woman started.

 

"Claude..." the woman said but got no answer. "Claudio, can you hear?" Still no answer.

 

CATALINA: Claude!

 

She shouted as she flung the stall door open. claude put his hands up seeing a gun pointed at him.

 

CATALINA: Didn't expect to see me here, did you? I came to finish what I started.

 

CLAUDE: You don't.. wait. I was in the bathroom.

 

Claude, perplexed to the point of nausea at finding himself not in the bathroom but now outside of Salvatore Leone's mansion, vomited on himself.

 

CATALINA: I should have killed you a long time ago.

 

Claude looked to the ground on her side and noticed Maria with her throat cut. The blood from her neck trailed off and ran into ground that wasn't there, ground replaced with sky.

 

CATALINA: The whole thing is scratched to sh*t, Claude. Doesn't even work very well these days. But seriously... Darkel?

 

CLAUDE: So it was a trap?

 

CATALINA: You have any ammo, Claude?

 

CLAUDE: 00101101000011000011110001010100001101111001111110?

 

Catalina threw her weapon on the ground and all the blood and even Maria disappeared. She walked toward Claude and threw her tired arms around him and whispered into his ear:

 

"I love you so much. Please... don't go."

 

CLAUDE: What the F*CK?!

 

He shouted as he pushed her off of him with a punch and a kick, made ready his shotfun, and blew her away to the effect that she shed many large drops of blood. She was finally dead.

 

::CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP::

 

Claude turned around to see Salvatore Leone, old and gray, thin and sick looking, clapping and smiling.

 

SALVATORE: You did good kid, I'm proud of you.

 

Claude started to feel dread and anxiety at the breadth of his human-like emotions that he felt upon seeing Salvatore. He killed Sal, thought he was dead and out of his life forever. And now... out of no where. And the weird thing was he felt longing, but for who? Who invoked in Claude such intense yearning and feelings of loss? Sal? Surely not, he killed him, he was his enemy.

 

CLAUDE: I blew you up!

 

SALVATORE: You killed the one you loved. You did love her, right? (he walks around Claude and puts his hand on his shoulder). When someone dies, Claude, in the real world, you never see them again. But you're seeing me now. And I am quite possibly very f*cking real.

 

CLAUDE: You f*cking with me.

 

"I would die for you"... SAL: I'm not f*cking with you!

 

He hands Claude a piece of paper and says

 

SAL: Look... I need to give you this. This, this is real. I want you to read it now so I can disappear.

 

Claude opened it and read:

 

 

To My Son, Claudio,

 

I've loved no one as I've loved you and I have lived a long life of 54 years. Seventeen years ago you were born, and in the time that I raised you I didn’t tell you anything that truly matters to me now on the eve of my death. If my consciousness was eternal I would regret this forever, but as I am lucid this evening I will take the opportunity now to use my brain and express my sentiments to you in writing.

 

It is unfortunate that you will never get the opportunity to meet me when you are fully mature. Let me tell you, son, you are more intelligent than you realize; you will blossom into an astonishing young man soon, I promise. It’s important that you take your time. Time is a gift, it is precious; it stood still for us during our childhoods, but we couldn’t think to appreciate it, we were too caught up living in each and every large little moment to notice. If I focus I can remember how it felt to be a seven year-old, anxious and nauseated, clumsily staggering through my days and laboring over alien social interactions.

 

You must treasure the life of your mother, she is sacred to you. And she loves you. After I die you will miss me intensely, and you will always miss me. More than anything though, you will realize just how much your mother means to you after I’m gone. And when she dies, only then will you lose your heart and it will take a son to make you feel again...

 

Claude could read no longer, he crumpled up the piece of paper as a tear streamed down his cheek. He threw it into the water and ran away from the Leone mansion.

 

He ran fast through the streets of Liberty City and little by little, as the minutes passed, felt less and less.

 

PEDESTRIAN: My mother's my sister!

 

 

 

 

 

new chapter next time......

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LMAO @ the ending of the current chapter. I'm loving this, Can. I'm still not 100% sure what kind of story this is but I got a feeling that you're writing it as though the characters were real, albeit in a CG world, and Claude's developing human emotions? Either way, I'm intrigued - and want to play GTA3 again! inlove.gif

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Canofceleri

This is on hiatus. My psychiatrist has me on a new medicine that has made me apathetic about creative writing. Maybe one day I will continue what was sure to be a classic postmodern piece of meta fan-fiction. sarcasm.gif

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