hebekie Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) last part is unfinishd i had to go. Il sure finish this belive me!I whas really tired so this is far from completed Belgium whas always a calm place , but things started to chanse in the city part Antwerp.The crime raised himself to higher places and Antwerp became a dangerous place to live. No one of course had in minde that this would happen , but it did.You play as Vladimir Drawer , he is orginal Belgium but he is called Vladimir because of his dad's love for russian books about Stalin and Vladimir Putin.Raised in Antwerp and seeing to place getting badder and badder , he wants to make it back as before. As a kid he knew who he could trust and who not . His friends from childhood and old remindings could come in handy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This game focuses on things that the privious GTA's did and some not. Communicate whit every person on the street Buy drinks and food at restaurants and choose what food Get a job (taxi driver , barman) First person view enabled e-mail TV buy clothes , tatoos and more New cop system weapon upgrades And a lot more New cop system : This will include indeed the stars , but not a circle or something like the others.You will have to escape the cops as fast as you can , hijacking a car whitout the cops seeing it while wanted will affect the cops to be confused and not follow you. Driving trought little streets or jumpings , will shock the cops and they cant follow you , driving outside the city is perfect and you can shake cops off easely. Robbing a shop: Since this is not really your character style you can still do it , but this will have effect on your reputation.Just walk in a shop and hold your gun on the person behinde the cash register. She will give all the money she has till you stop aiming.Each time she gives money a cop star will go up Radar is here already : ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vladimir Drawer (25) He is the main character.He wasnt always smart in school , but had a perfect sight on realety . He knew mostly what to do in life and whas always busy thinking about it as a kid. this character isnt a revenge taking or not from Belgium guy , in this episode, but a warmhearted cool guy that pays you whit the thing you dont wanna know. ------------------------------ favorite things : ------------------------------ Place to eat : Le petite chef favorite food : Fish from Le Petite Chef favorite activety : Football whitout the rules. favorite weapon : MM9 whit laser sight ------------------------------ Freinds : ------------------------------ Thomas Belle Luna liya Jurmen Beuwen Jared Cloute ----------------------------- Belongs to gang : ---------------------------- None --------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thomas Belle Vladimir's childhood friend, they where good friends in their childhood but didnt always acceptet eachother.After a few years they both didnt see eachother anymore. Only since he moved o antwerp they both meeted eachother again.Still being good freinds (24) ------------------------------ favorite things : ------------------------------ Place to eat : In the 2 Mountains favorite food : Belgium chips favorite activety : BMX favorite weapon : Bat ------------------------------ Freinds : ------------------------------ Vladimir Drawer Luna liya Jurmen Beuwen Jared Cloute ----------------------------- Belongs to gang : ---------------------------- None --------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Luna Liya (25) Is the EX-Girlfriend of Vladimir . Since she whas in love whit an other guy called Manao , they broke up and strangly enough still good freinds , She sees him still often and now she hangs out somewhere whe dont know ------------------------------ favorite things : ------------------------------ Place to eat : Le Petite Chef favorite food : Pizza Vegetale favorite activety : Tennis favorite weapon : none ------------------------------ Freinds : ------------------------------ Vladimir Drawer Thomas Belle Jared Cloute ----------------------------- Belongs to gang : ---------------------------- None --------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jurmen Beuwen (25) One hell of a guy is he! Big , strong , funny , and sometimes very irritating.Jurmen is one of Vladimir's best childhood freinds he had. He is big and strong enough to till Vladimir all the way up. Doing a fist fight whit him isnt the best thing to do. ------------------------------ favorite things : ------------------------------ Place to eat : Sonald Macs favorite food : Hamburger delux favorite activety : Rugby favorite weapon : fists ------------------------------ Freinds : ------------------------------ Vladimir Drawer Thomas Belle Jared Cloute ----------------------------- Belongs to gang : ---------------------------- None --------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jared Cloute (26) Is Vladimir's best freind since childhood. They are like 2 best brothers.Jared whas always a little afraid from everything but Vladimir chansed that and made him be more himself. He is a real computer tech man and can hack everything.He is a very nice guy but he is shy alot. ------------------------------ favorite things : ------------------------------ Place to eat : Le Petitte Chef favorite food : Spagetthi Bolongaise favorite activety : driving whit the bike favorite weapon : none ------------------------------ Freinds : ------------------------------ Vladimir Drawer Luna liya Jurmen Beuwen Thomas Belle ----------------------------- Belongs to gang : ---------------------------- None --------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Berchem Hoodz is a Freindly gang in Berchem that just hangs around.They have a lot of memebers including young and old ages. ---------------------- ---------------------- Borgerhout Geyz Is a very aggresive gang that kill almost anyone that says just hello ---------------------- -------------------- The marroko basterds Is one of the biggest gangs around in whole Antwerp --------------------- --------------------- -+----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Radio 12 A normal pop radio whitout to much commerce. Songs: NMN A big pop music Radio Station whit a lot of commerce Planet Metal A radio station whit metal and constant music. Classic 666 a radiostation whit the perfect music for old people ------------------ Small Radio stations ------------------ IVR : Pop music whit almost no news Nostalgia : Music from the 50's 60's and more City grey : normal pop music Contact Kill : HardStyle music ----------------- ---------------- FootBallWhitout rules of course.You can buy a ball or just steal one, once you did that you can invitide guys via cellhpone , E-mail , or just random guys on the street to football whiit you. Thiss upgrades your stanima and freindship.TennisGo to the tennis field and play some tennis. You can only play tennis whit freinds or trainers. You can become so good that you can join competisnions. Its a mini game where you match agaisnt better AII players and if you win you get a lot of cash.RugbyA dangerous sport to do , you can get strong of it but you can die in the first few matches or have some broken bonesBMX , car , anything racingIs just for fun and reciving money. Or just hang out whit some freinds and have fun.Make a tripIs something you will not see but it will have efect on the player. You will go for 1 week on vacation and when you come back things can be different , but this will add up extra life for your character because of the fresh air.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Missions : 1.Intro ------------------------------------------------- More ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Side Missions (soon) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://i.imgur.com/oE3wn.png/ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Shops and cafe's You can buy everything in shops , but you can to eat in cafes to fill up healt or to be drunk and have fun. MEHA Is a normal clothing shop thats very cheap . Dont buy any underwear there or your ass shall be showed. ------- Black t-shirt : 10£ normal jeans : 50£ white t-shirt : 10£ Ikin shoes : 60£ Underwear for men : 20£ sport pants : 50£ Aids(parody of adidas) jacket : 80£ Baseball hat : 40£ ------- Nivio Is the best clothe selling shop you finde for clothes. ----- t-shirt (anycolor) : 10£ cargo pants : 80£ Short Jeans : 60£ Medium jeans : 60£ Skinny jeans : 90£ wide jeans : 100£ sport shoes : 60£ basket ball shoes : 100£ silver watch : 150£ golden watch : 400£ Black t-shirt : 10£ normal jeans : 50£ white t-shirt : 10£ Ikin shoes : 60£ Underwear for men : 20£ sport pants : 50£ Aids(parody of adidas) jacket : 80£ Baseball hat : 40£ ------------ Places to eat/drink ------------ Le Petite Chef Is a small restaurant , not located far from your house and is always a fun place to be. ---------- drinks ---------- Cola Coka : 1.20£ Spurte : 1.50£ Shepes : 1.20£ -------- alcohol -------- Cava : 50£ Red wine : 20£ White wine : 20£ vodka : 60£ whisky : 60£ -------- Snacks -------- Baked Patatos : 10£ Sardines : 10£ olives (black or green) : 5£ bread : 10£ -------- Main dishes -------- Fish whit petatos and vetgebals Steak whit fries lasange spaghetti -------- misc. ------- Lollipop coffee ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- TV --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unrated 69 (OLD HUD and LOGO) BnB (sub titles(old ones)radio logo's) narcis speed (logo , subtitles hud) Edited March 27, 2011 by hebekie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blitz Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Needs a bit of organization, but content is alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BnB Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 You should use [center][/center] tags for the logo! Also nice work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hebekie Posted March 26, 2011 Author Share Posted March 26, 2011 Mission 1 : intro (telled in the eye's of vladimir) You begin on March 20 2015 , . Guys are doing sports , and its a sunny day , im walking whit my shirt open. I see the poeple walking whit shades and short jeans. I walk torwards Le petite chef , inside the cafe alot of poeple are talking and the barman Frank says hello Frank : Hey man! Whats up, warm day isnt it? Vladimir : Yeah it sure is, i footballed whit my freind a hour ago and god i whas tierd. Frank:Well its done whit the winter here he Vladimir : yeah , so , whats your special today? Frank : Roasted fish whit some nice vegebels Vladimir : sounds perfect , il take it! Suddenly a guy whit a sport jacket and pants walks in and starts smoking a sigaret Frank : .... Vladimir : well, arnt you going to say anything?Its forbidden to smoke here.. Frank:...yeah but...he is a member of the.. Vladimir inteerups Frank and says : I dont care if he is a member of a gang!No one smokes in my fave bar! gang member : A beer dude!Bad service it seems! Vladimir takes the guy at his troath and says : You have not been nice in here and your gonna pay for that! You take control of the player and the instructions show up how to fight. After that you will have to knock out the member and a new cutscene starts member : Aurgh...your mother is a whore , il come back and get ya white boy! The member runs away and Vladimir goes back and starts eating. Frank : wow man..here a free drink for ya Vladimir : hmmm this is really good! Its amazing! Frank : Hey chef ! He loves it! Chef : super! You get control of the player and you can start free roaming. End of the mission Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grope_4_that_date Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 Wow this is really great. Three thumbs up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finn 7 five 11 Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 THis isn't very GTA like...Yet, however i do like your ideas, the game has a warmer tone, and the characters seems nice this is why it is not so GTA like...yet, i am guessing you will be introducing new characters and such yes? The Dialog (speech) is believable, which is the problem with many concepts, i post in few concepts, this one i do like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hebekie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 Mission 2 : Ball in your face icho! The mission starts out on a sunny evening . You and your 3 freinds Thomas , Jurmen , Jared are ready to football . A cutscene starts where the Borgherout geyz are coming and say member : Eya , wanna football white boy? Vladimir : Lets do it Thomas : whitout the rules he ! Member : Im ready -- The instructions how to football pop up and you can begin the match. Try to score as many goals as possible you have to score max 3 goals . After doing that you shall see a cutscene member : what the f*ck! You cheated ! member2:Icho de puta! Look what you did to joesef member: youl pay for this They take out their guns and start shooting , you have to run as fast as possible and hide somwhere good after you did that , de Berchem hoodz come and do a drive-by and shoot all the members down.More of them come and youl get a gun instructions how to use a gun will pop up and you will start blasting their heads off . After you did that you get 100£ from the berchem hoodz and the mission is done. You have unlocked the football modus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lolwut Pear Posted March 27, 2011 Share Posted March 27, 2011 No offense, but Antwerp sounds like some kind of internet meme, not a city. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hebekie Posted March 27, 2011 Author Share Posted March 27, 2011 No offense, but Antwerp sounds like some kind of internet meme, not a city. well go say that in belgium it isnt my fault they named a city that way.(antwerp is a real existing city xD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hebekie Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 So no one actuly w has some more feedback for me?D: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blitz Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Just needs a bit of organization and love, but overall it's ok. The name is doubting me, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killdrivetheftvehicle Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Belgium whas always a calm place , but things started to chanse in the city part Antwerp.The crime raised himself to higher places and Antwerp became a dangerous place to live. No one of course had in minde that this would happen , but it did.You play as Vladimir Drawer , he is orginal Belgium but he is called Vladimir because of his dad's love for russian books about Stalin and Vladimir Putin.Raised in Antwerp and seeing to place getting badder and badder , he wants to make it back as before. As a kid he knew who he could trust and who not . His friends from childhood and old remindings could come in handy. This is the story you wrote, I just added some readability. Belgium used to be a peaceful place, but things started to change in that part of the country, which is called the city of Antwerp.The crime rate got higher and higher, and Antwerp became a dangerous place to live. No one had thought that this would happen, but it did. You play as Vladimir Drawer, a native Belgian who is called Vladimir, because of his father's love for russian books about Stalin and Vladimir Putin. Raised in Antwerp and wittnessing the place getting worse and worse , he wants to change it back as it was before. As a kid he used to know who to trust . His friends from childhood and memories from the past could come in handy. In my opinion, you should try to think of the main idea for the story to guide you with with mission creation. The missions then should guide the dialogue. So, in that sense, your story needs more work. But I can see you need help also with english. I can help, if you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hebekie Posted April 5, 2011 Author Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hey thanks man , its awesome the way you changed it. But yeah its hard to tell a story in english when I'm a native english speaker. I wrote the story on a night i whas really tired and then i cant typed in english at all lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Scrotum Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 I've read it and it's nice! Keep up the good work. It lacks some organisation (BB Codes). Apart from that, the rest is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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