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GTA IV: Dealing and Stealing


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Claude4Catalina

Andriy was the token bad-ass, he fufilled the whole stereotype of hardman with a personal armoury on his back so to speak.

 

the Epilogue will be a Heat-inspired moment, think Neil McCauely's execution of Waingro. anyone who has read the whole story will put two and two together wink.gif

I'm going to post it tomorrow night, the positive feedback has made me think twice about a re-write, I really wasn't sure if the Bad Boys II styled finish would transition very well. I'll probably tweak bits and pieces of it, the bulk of the mission will stay the same.

 

cheers Akavari.

Even if that was like a dress rehearsal for the real product, it was brilliant and the whole thing was very fitting. My favourite bit about it all was that Alex's crew was backing him up. I got a real feeling that things were coming full circle. Well done.

Claude4Catalina

initially I was going to have Alex go it alone, but I think that would be pretty boring and the player would feel overwhelmed by the amount of hostiles, as another parallel to BB2, the crew Papi brings along will be armed with Micro SMG's and Assault Rifles, which will give a TLAD Gang Wars feel.

 

anyways, going to post the epilogue, let me know what you think!

 

 

Alex receives the following email from an Unknown Contact once you complete the main story.

 

From: [email protected]

Subject: Rique Garcia

 

Alex,

I know where Rique Garcia is. I know you killed Agent Jones. Good, that prick deserved it.

Meet me at Colony Island, President Avenue, in the parking lot. I’ll be in my car. You know what I’m talking about.

An Old Friend

 

Unknown-Epilogue

 

Alex arrives at the parking lot where a black Sunrise is parked up, and flashes it’s headlights. Alex cautiously approaches the driver’s side window as it rolls down.

“Alex.” Mitt nods, lowering his sunglasses. “I can’t be seen here too long. Rique lives on the 13th floor, apartment 131. Do as you wish with such information.” Mitt flicks his cigar ash out and then raises the window without saying a word and drives away.

“f*cking odd.” Alex shrugs as he walks towards the building’s lobby.

 

Rique is on the 13th floor. Take your revenge.

 

Go to the elevator and the scene will cut to you on the 13th floor, apartment 131 will be marked. Walk up to it as one armed guard with a Pump Action Shotgun will be waiting.

 

“I’m sorry sir, I’m going to have ask you to leave.” The guard says.

“I’ve got a key, right here…” Alex replies, reaching into his jacket pocket, firing twice into the guards chest, then shoots the lock on the apartment, kicking the door in as Rique takes a few steps back towards a window.

 

Rique: Alex?

Alex: You rat! You f*cking cheated the game!

Rique: I re-wrote the rules, motherf*cker!

Alex: And got your ‘baby’ killed in the process!

Rique: Kim? f*cking slut.

Alex: Aw, what’s the matter? Bitch infect you or something?

Rique: Nice to know you’ve kept your sense of humour. LCPD will be here in roughly 30 seconds, heard of Mitt Fitzsimmons?

Alex: An old friend of mine. You, my friend, have f*cked up.

Rique: I doubt that very much, what would he be doing with a little hood rat?

Alex: Could ask the same about Agent Jones…

Rique: Jones was a bitch!

Alex: You still sucked him off in exchange for a nice new apartment!

Rique: Once again with the jokes, when will you start taking things seriously?

Alex: I’m here for a serious matter, life or death? Your life isn’t much of a serious matter.

Rique: I’ve lost more than you’ll ever gain by killing me!

Alex: All I want is to see your rotting carcass. I couldn’t care about the f*cking cartels!

Rique: What, you going to take pictures of it and post it on Friends without Faces?

Alex: I’m not sure which one of your faces to mutilate…

Rique: Very good…nice little play on words…

Alex: Any corny last words?

Rique: Will a ‘go f*ck yourself’ serve its purpose?

 

“Damn f*cking straight it will.” Alex retorts, executing Rique with a gunshot wound to the head, then two more in the chest to finish him off.

 

Mission Complete

Payback achievement unlocked.

The Hobo Random Character unlocked.

 

Upon completion of the epilogue mission, Alex receives a final email.

 

From: [email protected]

Subject: Two Birds With One Stone

 

It’s me again.

Thank you for eliminating Mr Garcia, as it happens, he was a key witness for Internal Affairs investigation of my goings on. I’d suggest laying low for a while, some ignorant people loyal to Rique might still be around. This’ll have to be the end of our friendship, it’s been a hell of a ride Alex. I’ve organised a place for you in Northwood, take care of yourself and your friends.

Mitt

 

Positive Reply: The rat f*ck. Take care bro, thanks for your help.

 

Negative Reply: He got what he deserved. See you around.

 

Mitt has left you a Safe house on Exeter Avenue in Northwood, it comes with the basic commodities and two parking spaces to the left hand side in the alley. Alex’s black Willard Faction will always spawn directly outside the house.

 

Excellent, mate. What impresses me most about this concept is that nearly every character in the story is an original or is a character only mentioned by name. You've come up with everything yourself which is a brilliant achievement in itself! Congrats!

 

If LB sees this, how about a table compiling all the missions together in the OP? This deserves A LOT more attention and I'd love to read through all the missions from start to finish myself too.

Claude4Catalina

I think the reason the mission was fairly short was because I focused alot on dialogue, and with it being in one building, I usually try and describe what street the chase takes place on or the terrain of a gun fight, but obviously I didn't want to go into a whole interior decorator 'and the walls were cornflower' scenario, so I focused on a brief description and some long-ass conversation.

 

also Tyla, I wanted to mould my protagonist into my own, and I didn't want to personalise other LCPD Database characters and butcher them, so using a few (Papi, Mitt, Gerald and Andriy were all seen/heard of to some degree, I tried to reflect Gerald's attitude and Papi only had about 4 lines in BOGT, so I couldn't really mess him up.) and pretty much the rest of the characters were original material, granted this meant that some characters didn't get much screen time, but I wanted the final mission and epilogue to tie all living characters together, with the exception of Gerald, who has his own problems, and Ben, who cuts his ties with Galeno and Alex, which in turns contributes to the Ancelotti family's downfall, along the other 'canon' events.

 

[tableb]#Mission NameMission Giver1What's Good?N/A2The Alderney ConnectionTyler Fairbanks3The StickupTyler Fairbanks4Burning BridgesTyler Fairbanks5Fight MusicJamie Jackson6It's Not HardJamie Jackson7Scream'Jamie Jackson8Money Over BuddiesPapi9Bite The BulletPapi10Express DeliveryPapi11Triad TroublesPapi12Death Without DignityMitt Fitzsimmons13AmateursPapi14Seal The DealPapi15Slow RideRique Garcia16The Crack SpotTyler Fairbanks17Finishing UpTyler Fairbanks18Transporting The TransporterRique Garcia19Modern Day CriminalsGerald McCreary20All Our TurfGerald McCreary21New Rock CityGerald McCreary22Flight Of The RussianAndriy Maximov23Crime Doesn't PayAndriy Maximov24The Master's KeeperAndriy Maximov25Farewell ComradeAndriy Maximov26Turkish DelightBeniamino Marcello27ProductBeniamino Marcello28Live Your Life!Rique Garcia29Spin And DryBeniamino Marcello30That sh*t's MineGaleno Rivera31Set SailGaleno Rivera32The Last SupperUnknown33Finishing MovesAlex Jackson34EpilogueUnknown[/tableb]

 

 

 

# Mission Name Mission Giver
1 What's Good? N/A
2 The Alderney Connection Tyler Fairbanks
3 The Stickup Tyler Fairbanks
4 Burning Bridges Tyler Fairbanks
5 Fight Music Jamie Jackson
6 It's Not Hard Jamie Jackson
7 Scream' Jamie Jackson
8 Money Over Buddies Papi
9 Bite The Bullet Papi
10 Express Delivery Papi
11 Triad Troubles Papi
12 Death Without Dignity Mitt Fitzsimmons
13 Amateurs Papi
14 Seal The Deal Papi
15 Slow Ride Rique Garcia
16 The Crack Spot Tyler Fairbanks
17 Finishing Up Tyler Fairbanks
18 Transporting The Transporter Rique Garcia
19 Modern Day Criminals Gerald McCreary
20 All Our Turf Gerald McCreary
21 New Rock City Gerald McCreary
22 Flight Of The Russian Andriy Maximov
23 Crime Doesn't Pay Andriy Maximov
24 The Master's Keeper Andriy Maximov
25 Farewell Comrade Andriy Maximov
26 Turkish Delight Beniamino Marcello
27 Product Beniamino Marcello
28 Live Your Life! Rique Garcia
29 Spin And Dry Beniamino Marcello
30 That sh*t's Mine Galeno Rivera
31 Set Sail Galeno Rivera
32 The Last Supper Unknown
33 Finishing Moves Alex Jackson
34 Epilogue Unknown
Claude4Catalina
Yo you haven't answered my question.

Do you want an image with the weapons,cause most of them are GTA IV style.

 

Nice tables akavari112.

nah man, I'm alright, cheers for the offer though smile.gif

 

akavari, I wake up one morning and some kind soul has left me a little present, thank you so much! I'll add the table into my first post, I'm a bit of a rush for college at the moment. Not to sound homoerotic, but man I could kiss you! ha-ha!

Nefarious Money Man

I read all of your missions in their entirety today and I must say they (and the story as a whole) were very exciting. I have massive respect for you not only for writing out compelling dialogue for EVERY mission but also for sticking with this concept despite the lack of feedback you have been recieving for it.. probably due to the title (which is actually somewhat of a grower).

 

If I was to throw some constructive criticism your way though I would say that I feel Mitt fitsimmons should have given Alex more missions, even just a couple more since his role was very understated for somebody who would turn out to have such a pivitol role on the story's outcome. I also found some of your missions a bit samey.. too many railshooters and missions which involved shooting a Heavy MG from a chopper (or a Heavy MG full stop). Despite these criticisms though I must say that I like this concept an awful lot, mainly due to the fact that you didn't rely on too many past characters from the IV era to tell your story. I especially liked the last few missions and feel that the way you ended the story was nothing short of spectacular. Well done man seriously!! icon14.gifcookie.gifcookie.gif

Claude4Catalina

 

If I was to throw some constructive criticism your way though I would say that I feel Mitt fitsimmons should have given Alex more missions, even just a couple more since his role was very understated for somebody who would turn out to have such a pivitol role on the story's outcome. I also found some of your missions a bit samey.. too many railshooters and missions which involved shooting a Heavy MG from a chopper (or a Heavy MG full stop). Despite these criticisms though I must say that I like this concept an awful lot, mainly due to the fact that you didn't rely on too many past characters from the IV era to tell your story. I especially liked the last few missions and feel that the way you ended the story was nothing short of spectacular. Well done man seriously!!  icon14.gif  cookie.gif  cookie.gif

I'm not getting my defenses up, I'm glad you've given some constructive feedback (I wouldn't even call it criticism considering that I agree with your points), I wanted Mitt to have more missions to give, but with Alex being a Liberty City native and thus a known criminal (I'm working on LCPD Database character profiles for the main characters) I think it would have been hard to keep their friendship discreet, in the book I wrote that this follows on from, Alex and Mitt's relationship is never stated, seeing as Alex isn't the title character in the book, Tyler is, so it made it easier for me to have him on the sidelines for a majority of the storyline worked in a sense, because that way he isn't going to risk his career.

 

about the 'Heavy MG from a chopper' view, this stems from me loving missions such as Phnom Phnem '86 and from me watching too many Vietnam War movies, I tried to mix things up by added the Heavy MG with explosive rounds, which in turn would be an unlockable for finding all hidden packages. don't know if anyone caught the Full Metal Jacket reference in Set Sail for Galeno?

"get some, baby!"

Nefarious Money Man

 

If I was to throw some constructive criticism your way though I would say that I feel Mitt fitsimmons should have given Alex more missions, even just a couple more since his role was very understated for somebody who would turn out to have such a pivitol role on the story's outcome. I also found some of your missions a bit samey.. too many railshooters and missions which involved shooting a Heavy MG from a chopper (or a Heavy MG full stop). Despite these criticisms though I must say that I like this concept an awful lot, mainly due to the fact that you didn't rely on too many past characters from the IV era to tell your story. I especially liked the last few missions and feel that the way you ended the story was nothing short of spectacular. Well done man seriously!!  icon14.gif  cookie.gif  cookie.gif

I'm not getting my defenses up, I'm glad you've given some constructive feedback (I wouldn't even call it criticism considering that I agree with your points), I wanted Mitt to have more missions to give, but with Alex being a Liberty City native and thus a known criminal (I'm working on LCPD Database character profiles for the main characters) I think it would have been hard to keep their friendship discreet, in the book I wrote that this follows on from, Alex and Mitt's relationship is never stated, seeing as Alex isn't the title character in the book, Tyler is, so it made it easier for me to have him on the sidelines for a majority of the storyline worked in a sense, because that way he isn't going to risk his career.

 

about the 'Heavy MG from a chopper' view, this stems from me loving missions such as Phnom Phnem '86 and from me watching too many Vietnam War movies, I tried to mix things up by added the Heavy MG with explosive rounds, which in turn would be an unlockable for finding all hidden packages. don't know if anyone caught the Full Metal Jacket reference in Set Sail for Galeno?

"get some, baby!"

I didn't notice that reference at first but I get it now haha icon14.gif

 

I don't think it's too late to go back and stick in just one more mission for Mitt between "Death Without Dignity" and "Amateurs" since I think one mission is just too little for anyone but two would be enough to suffice, Tom Stubbs gave Johnny two missions in TLAD for example and that was enough. Stubbs was also in a similar position as Mitt whereby he couldn't be seen to associate with criminals because of his position.. so I definitely think it could work.

 

This book you speak of.. has it been typed up? and if so is there anywhere I could view a copy in the future??

Claude4Catalina

the book is hand written, about 22 chapters, I wrote three chapters in one sitting, I knew the pain that a compulsive masturbator felt that night! tounge.gif but I could type up a chapter and PM it to you, probably be my take on the St Valentines Day Massacre, which is the first time Mitt makes an appearance.

 

I'm thinking of consolidating Flight Of The Russian and Crime Doesn't Pay, thus leaving an extra space, failing that I'll just place an extra mission in Chapter 2, I'll probably go for the latter, it throws things less out of balance.

 

gonna go have a scud about on GTA, xBox has been feeling a bit neglected lately, gonna drive about and see where I could place a suitable mission...

 

never know, I might try something new and have Alex firing a Heavy MG from a chopper... biggrin.gif

 

I'm also going to change 'New Rock City', it's still going to be as action packed, I just think now I have enough time, I can afford to change it from a straight up rip off of Resevoir Dogs, but in-keeping with film unfluences, maybe a series of hits, ala the ending of The Godfather.?

Edited by Claude4Catalina
Nefarious Money Man
the book is hand written, about 22 chapters, I wrote three chapters in one sitting, I knew the pain that a compulsive masturbator felt that night! tounge.gif but I could type up a chapter and PM it to you, probably be my take on the St Valentines Day Massacre, which is the first time Mitt makes an appearance.

 

I'm thinking of consolidating Flight Of The Russian and Crime Doesn't Pay, thus leaving an extra space, failing that I'll just place an extra mission in Chapter 2, I'll probably go for the latter, it throws things less out of balance.

 

gonna go have a scud about on GTA, xBox has been feeling a bit neglected lately, gonna drive about and see where I could place a suitable mission...

 

never know, I might try something new and have Alex firing a Heavy MG from a chopper... biggrin.gif

 

I'm also going to change 'New Rock City', it's still going to be as action packed, I just think now I have enough time, I can afford to change it from a straight up rip off of Resevoir Dogs, but in-keeping with film unfluences, maybe a series of hits, ala the ending of The Godfather.?

Haha yes man more Heavy MGs and helicopters please biggrin.gif

 

And yes I would love for you to send me a chapter if you get a chance.

Claude4Catalina

I think I'll post a snippet from Chapter III, I've typed this part up in its original form, this is what I wrote over a year ago; honestly I think you can tell that my writing has improved.

 

 

Chapter IIIThe Next Day

Tyler woke up in JayJay’s apartment in Northwood, to the sound of Weasel News on the television.

“f*ck man, you gotta have that sh*t on right now?  I’m still tired from yesterday.” Complained a tired Tyler.

“Yeah, I do, it’s my place, so I’ll have MY TV on when I want!” said a snappy JayJay.

“f*ck bro, calm down, you heard from your brother?”

“Yeah, he said something about a deal with some Russian down in Hove Beach, he wants us to go along to represent him, he’s dropped the buy money off already, gotta get the train down to Hove Beach, lets hope we can understand these guys, man.”

“What we buying?”

“Some H.  These Russian cats are holding, and looking to get rid of it, so look like we take this chance to get something cheap to sell.”

“Aight lets go.”

After a train ride down to Hove Beach, the pair then walked to the lot behind the bowling alley, near the broken Roller Coaster.

“sh*t bro, I remember dreaming of coming down he as a kid man, damn things have changed.” Said a mesmerized JayJay.

“Look, stay focused.  I don’t want this deal f*cking up because we reminisce, we have to think about staying alive, we don’t know if Alex has been f*cked over, and it’s a trap, do we?  I hope you packing!” snapped an irritated Tyler.

“Course I am bro, got my 1911 right here.” Said JayJay, cocking his handgun as he tucked it into his jacket. “What you got?”

“My nine, and a little surprise for them.” Replied Tyler, revealing his MAC 10, and then also neatly tucking it into his jacket.

“f*ck, what you need that for?”

“Well, way I see it is, if they try and kill us, we try and kill them?”  Said a logically minded Tyler.

The two of them entered the empty lot, where a lone Silver PMP 600 was sitting, with two bearded men sitting in the front seats.  JayJay and Tyler approached the car, and the passenger stepped out, with a small package in hand.

BOOM

One gunshot rung out, hitting the Russian in the car, killing him instantly.  Tyler and JayJay pulled out their guns and started shooting at the other Russian, but the sniper got him first with a headshot.

“f*ck this, we out of here!” Exclaimed Tyler.

The two of them tucked away their guns and ran.  They ran out of the lot and got to the Hove Beach subway station.

“sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t sh*t, what the f*ck happened back there?” said an out of breath JayJay.

“We got set up.  Alex didn’t send a hired gun down there, he would have told us, and he wouldn’t put us in danger, and the Russians wouldn’t kill their own.  Either it was another gang, or the NNT.” Explained Tyler.

“Nah it was the Russians, I f*cking know it!” Shouted JayJay, awakening the man opposite.

“What, killing their own?”

“Yeah, you know how the sneaky bastards think, they think their ‘resources’ are expendable, they setting a trap, false sense of security sh*t man!”

“No.  The Russians wouldn’t do that.  If they wanted us dead, it would have already been done.  I’ll have a word with Alex, in the meanwhile, you get to your place.” Said a much calmer Tyler.

“Aight bro.  Let me know what’s happening.”

Tyler and JayJay got off the subway train in North Holland, JayJay headed to his apartment, whilst Tyler hailed a cab.

“Where to?” Asked the cab driver.

“Fortside.” Said a dismissive Tyler.

“So, what you doing over Fortside?” asked the inquisitive cab driver.  Tyler just ignored him, and sat back, and texted his girl, Abby.

Tyler soon reached Fortside, paid the cabby, and got out, checking he had everything with him.

Pistol?  Check.

MAC?  Check.

Alex’s money?  Check.

Tyler approached Alex’s door, worried what the outcome would be.  Tyler knows Alex can be a psycho, he remembers a while ago, rival dealers attempted to bust a deal, but Alex captured on of them and took him back to his building site.  Tyler remembers watching Alex torture the rival dealer, and eventually burying him.

“Tyler!  What’s up bro?  You look like you’ve seen a ghost.  What were it, you and JayJay go on the Corpse Ride?  Joking bro, you got my package, where’s that sh*t at?”

“We ain't got it bro.  The deal was a set up, the Russians man, they dead.  Some asshole with a sniper shot up the deal.  We got your money but we ain't got the sh*t.  JayJay’s gone home, sh*ts too stressful for him.  He thinks the Russians set us up.” Explained a nervous Tyler.

“Then we hit the Russians.  A contact of mine says they are dealing with the NNT in a few days, planning on shifting some major weight, word is its enough to fill a vanload.  We have the firepower, I know a few people, and hopefully they’ll help out for a few dollars.”

“You sure?  I mean the sniper killed two Russians, why would they kill their own?”

“They wanted to keep the product.  Think about it.  If they are dealing with the NNT, they are gonna want to keep as much product back.  My guess is, that they lure buyers in, hand over the money, and kill the buyers.  We got lucky, but we’re still going to hit them back hard.”  Said the tactically minded Alex.

“Aight man, if you sure, let me know when it’s going down.”

 

bear in mind its set before Dealing and Stealing, before Alex had to go into hiding and back when the NNT were strictly a NOoSE branch, not a FIB sponsored mega-force.

Nefarious Money Man

That's quite good man you are definitely very skilled at writing. I like the way you capture how people from different ethnicities speak and stuff.. I always think that the authenticity of how the characters talk can add or take away a lot from a story.

  • 4 weeks later...
Claude4Catalina

if people would read the entire thread, I've even expressed regret over the name.

 

in reguards to it nearly being finished, Mitt's second mission will be posted in the same post as his first as to not throw anything off; so I'll edit it and post a link when its done, something popped up with college and reluctantly need to put that first. I've got the bulk of the mission done, I'm just working on the closing part, the phonecalls after and such.

 

***EDIT***

 

got Mitt's second mission up and running, click the link to enjoy it biggrin.gif

Death Without Dignity

 

Edited by Claude4Catalina
  • 5 months later...
  • 1 year later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Liver Buster

Actually I read the whole story recently and I would like to say this is awesome. Especially Papi's "Triad Troubles", "Bite The Bullet" and Andriy's "Flight Of The Russian", "Crime Doesn't Pay" are my favourite. Also I don't know but Mitt sounded like the most interesting character in the concept for me, I think it's about he is a "gray" cop and have a well-built characteristic, reminded me Gerald McReary someways. I think only problem with him is the mission amount he gives, I think he should have given more missions. Another thing I liked is the concept's perception for "Shifting Weight". In "Shifting Weight" unnamed dealer seems like totally asshole but in "Live The Life" you gave him a honest characteristic, as he knows the business ethics good, he turns gun on Johnny, Malc and DeSean as a respond of his loyalty and protective style. For the last, all things behind the drug cartel was pretty good and the way how it turned to Alex was realistic. And also I'm planning to put end to AMAI with a conspiracy in a drug cartel as well. Shortly, I can say this is a well-built concept. icon14.gif

Edited by MarijuanaMonkey
Claude4Catalina
Actually I read the whole story recently and I would like to say this is awesome. Especially Papi's "Triad Troubles", "Bite The Bullet" and Andriy's "Flight Of The Russian", "Crime Doesn't Pay" are my favourite. Also I don't know but Mitt sounded like the most interesting character in the concept for me, I think it's about he is a "gray" cop and have a well-built characteristic, reminded me Gerald McReary someways. I think only problem with him is the mission amount he gives, I think he should have given more missions. Another thing I liked is the concept's perception for "Shifting Weight". In "Shifting Weight" unnamed dealer seems like totally asshole but in "Live The Life" you gave him a honest characteristic, as he knows the business ethics good, he turns gun on Johnny, Malc and DeSean as a respond of his loyalty and protective style. For the last, all things behind the drug cartel was pretty good and the way how it turned to Alex was realistic. And also I'm planning to put end to AMAI with a conspiracy in a drug cartel as well. Shortly, I can say this is a well-built concept. icon14.gif

I'm glad you compared Mitt to Gerald McReary rather than another cop from a different media form. my intention with characters was to chalk up the stereotypes and contort them, like making Andriy essentially Roman but born into a different lifestyle, a common theme shared between Roman and Yusef Amir, I tried passing it on to Andriy is some ways.

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