My Chain Story

[Corndawg93]

1. Jenny Acorn from Weazel News tries to kill Niko and Dwayne for killing Tony

 

(Jenny) DIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!

Jenny goes to shoot but the gun back fires and explode the IN HER FACE!!!!

 

(Niko) Hahaha, lets get out of here

 

(Dwayne) Sure man, where do you want to go.

 

(Niko) The movie place

 

(Dwayne) Ok, what movie

 

(Niko) ...

1) "The Dark Knights Rises"

2) "The Avengers"

3) "Push Up"

4) "The Expendable 2"

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAA, 900 posts, OHHH YEAH!!!!, 1000 here I come

Edited August 26, 2012 by billy james

[The_Anti-tragedy]

 

1) "The Dark Knights Rises"

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAA, 900 posts, OHHH YEAH!!!!, 1000 here I come

Cool, I don't have half as you do, 450

 

Niko and Dwayne go to see the Dark Knight Rises at the movie theater.

Niko: It's nice to see Batman on the big screen again.

Dwayne: Yeah, let's hope this movie lived up to its hype.

Niko hears a loud chewing noise. A few of the audience shh at the person walking down the aisle.

Person: NYUHNYUHNYUHNEENAHNOENYEH.

The person walks down Niko's aisle and the person is Roman with three bags of popcorn to eat for himself. Roman is visibly getting fatter. He sits beside Dwayne.

Roman: Dis pepcern is sho gud...

Crowd: SSHHHH!

Roman: Why jon't you dix gjhut up for a shecond.

Dwayne: Roman, people are staring! Go away!

Roman: HEY IS THIS THE PART WHERE-

Roman gets cut off by Niko covering his mouth.

Roman: 'CUZ THAT'S JUST WRONG!

Roman gets shushed at again. Roman is kicked out of the movie theater, along with Dwayne and Niko.

Niko: Roman, you piece of sh*t, you got us kicked out!

Roman: Well sorry but I was hungry, and I was complimenting their food most of the time.

Niko, Dwayne, and Roman get in their car. Niko pushes Roman out. Roman tries catching up and hangs on to the back of the car. Niko tries shaking him off but Roman climbs up the roof. He bursts inside with two bags of popcorn.

Niko: Roman, why do you still have that popcorn?

Dwayne: Yeah, that's a sin. Gluttony - to eat excessively.

Roman: Sorry, but I'm not even hungry, I just want it.

Dwayne: Greed.

Niko: Roman, I'm going to kick the sh*t out of you if you don't stop.

Dwayne: Wrath.

Roman: You're just jealous because I have popcorn!

Niko: I'm not jealous you ignorant f*ck!

Dwayne: Envy.

Roman: Can you guys drop me off, I have a threesome with two girls at the apartment. Because I'm handsome!

Dwayne: Pride.

Roman: Then I'm going to rest for the next two days or so.

Dwayne: Sloth.

1. They drop off Roman and...

1.3. Roman gets assassinated.

1.6. Niko and Dwayne hear the threesome as they leave.

1.9. Dwayne lists more sins wrong with that.

2. Niko shoots Roman in the head.

3. Dwayne's enemies come in a Cavelcade.

4. Mohammad tries to kill Roman for driving for free.

[Driftking120]

2. Niko shoots Roman in the head.

Niko: DDDIIIEEE!!!

Dwayne: Niko, have you lost your mind, now what are we going to do with him!?

Niko: I have an idea!

1. lets mail his body in a box to the white house

2. lets make a life sized doll out of him and name it kitteh

3. lets hang it on my wall of my(Insert one of niko's safehouses)

4. lets chop him up and take the remains to burgershot claiming its the meat they ordered

5. lets hang him from the highest point in time square naked

[The_Anti-tragedy]

4. lets chop him up and take the remains to burgershot claiming its the meat they ordered

Two days later when Niko is over at Dwayne's apartment as Roman is having a threesome in Niko's apartment with the both of them watching TV...

Niko: Well, I bet all of the customers are sick wtih mononucleosis now.

Dwayne: Who do you think ate the balls?

They switch the channel to Weazel, with a reporter covering the story.

Reporter: WEAZEL NEWS! Breaking news: The well-known fast-food conglomerate, Burger Shot, has recieved bad publicity from an outbreak of bad meat!

Employee: When we were given the meat, it was all normal, just a big tub of beef with some penis-shaped pieces on top.

Reporter: Here's an innocent who witnessed the giving of the meat!

Witness: I was walking down the street and in the parking lot, a Polack and a black guy wearing mustaches came in a truck. That's not suspicious, why are you asking me about this?

Victim: Oh my God, just the other day, the beef in my burger was the shape of a man's testicles! *BLHAGHABLAGHUH!*

There's an knocking on Dwayne's door. Niko opens it up and the visiter is...

1. A Burger Shot emplyee trying to be a hero pointing a gun.

2. Roman, drunk after having a threesome in his apartment.

3. An FIB agent disguising as a health inspector, Niko & Dwayne jump out the window.

4. Brucie, on roid rage, with his brother Mori.

[AlexGTAGamer]

1. A Burger Shot emplyee trying to be a hero pointing a gun.

Employee: "It's because I let you two sell us that tainted meat that I got fired from my job!"

Dwayne: "Alright let's just calm down."

Employee: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"

At that very moment Niko smashes a lamp over the employee's head and takes his gun.

Niko: "Simply smashing."

Dwayne: "That was a terrible pun."

Niko: "Let's throw his body out of the window to make it look like a suicide, and then get out of here."

Dwayne helps Niko throw the body out of the window which soon causes a stunned crowd to gather.

LCPD officer: "Alright folks, move along, nothing to see here. Come on sickos, no dilly dallying."

Dwayne: "So where should we go now?"

Niko: "I want to stop by my place to see if Roman is finished up yet. That, and I left my wallet there."

 

- A quick drive later -

 

Niko and Dwayne take the elevator up to Niko's Middle Park East apartment.

Once inside:

Niko: "Roman? You home?"

A moan is heard.

Dwayne: "Did you hear that?"

Niko: "It's coming from the bedroom."

The two rush over to the bedroom and find Roman naked tied to the bed.

Niko: "Oh Roman, what have you done?" *Throws a bed sheet over Roman*

Roman: "Those women tied me up. I thought it would be something, you know, to do with it all. Instead they stole my wallet, keys, phone, and some cash on the shelf."

Niko: *Sigh* You're screwed now Roman."

Dwayne: *Chuckles*

Roman: *Sarcastic laugh* Very funny. Now untie me."

Niko unties Roman and he puts his clothes back on.

Roman: "I'm determined to find those women. They took my keys so obviously they would have taken my taxi cab."

Niko: "That should be easy to find. How many Roman Bellic Enterprises taxi cabs are there in L.C?"

Roman: "Only this one today, the rest are getting fixed."

The three run downstairs, hop in a car, and drive around Algonquin looking for Roman's taxi cab. They eventually find it being driven by the women and...

 

1. End up in a wild car chase through the streets and alleyways of Algonquin.

2. Niko shoots the tires out and the women crash the car into a roadside construction site.

3. Niko shoots at a car in front of the taxi which brakes causing the women to crash into the back of the car.

4. The women spot them and abandon the taxi.

5. The taxi explodes. It is revealed that someone had placed a sticky bomb on the underside of the car. Niko ponders who could have done it.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

 

2. Niko shoots the tires out and the women crash the car into a roadside construction site.

The two women start climbing the ladder of a crane. Niko goes up along with Dwayne and Roman following him. They end up on top of the crane. The women jump on the building below the edge of the crane.

Niko: Damn parkour!

Roman and Dwayne follow Niko and jump onto the building as well. The women reach a dead end, and Niko gets ready for an execution. Niko hesitates.

Dwayne: Come on man, do it.

Niko: Is this what I become. A lowlife hitmen working only for money?

Roman: YES!

Roman takes the gun and executes the women off the top of the building, and Roman takes his keys, wallet, and his phone. The three split up. We follow...

1. Niko who...

1.3. Asks Little Jacob for a drug delivery.

1.6. Calls Bernie so they can go boatriding and have some "F.U.N.!"

1.9. Sends a death threat to Dimitri, his nemesis.

2. Dwayne who...

2.5. Recieves a phone call from a mysterious stranger with his girlfriend, Cherise.

2.9. Goes to Cluckin' Bell and sees...

3. Roman who...

3.3. Finds out Mohammad is mad at him for the women prank calling him.

3.6. Gets called by a pimp asking for his girls.

3.9. Is ambushed by the Russians for Niko sending a death threat to Dimitri.

[Corndawg93]

Can you stop with these stupid coloured choice, there not called for and there confusing

 

1. Niko who asks LJ for a drug delivery

Niko calls LJ

 

(Niko) LJ, you any jobs for me

 

(LJ) Sure Niko, come get de package rudeboy

 

(Niko) Sure

Niko hangs up and get in his car and starts driving to get the package, a short while later he retrieves the package and heads to the deal, 5 minute later he get to the deal and Niko is very surprised to see who it is

(Niko) You!!!!

Who is at the deal

1) Amando and Henrique

2) Terry and Clay

3) Mori and Brusie

4) Issac Roth

[The_Anti-tragedy]

4) Issac Roth

Issac: I want those diamonds!

Niko: Wait, these are diamonds?

Issac: Yeah, we smuggled them from Vice City and killed Jerry Kapowitz!

The two fight over the package, but the diamonds fall out, land on the ground and break. Issac kneels down at the sight.

Issac: NOOOO! Now I'll only be able to sell these for $1,999,999!

Niko takes them back from him and calls LJ.

Niko: I got the package. But it was diamonds and someone I was supposed to kill before turned out to be the dealer.

LJ: I hear ya, rudeboy.

Niko: See you soon.

LJ: AHH! Stay back, iyah! I and I gonna kill you!

Badman: YEAH me breda!

Niko: Badman, why are you on here?

The line goes dead. Niko drives to Little Jacob's apartment and sees his parked Virgo is even trashed and vandalized. Niko runs inside and sees that Little Jacob and Badman with baseball bats getting their faces cut with knives from a rival gang. The rival gang turns out to be...

1. The Pegorinos

2. The Lost MC

3. The Russian Mafia

4. Angels of Death

5. Spanish Lords

[AlexGTAGamer]

3. The Russian Mafia

Niko: "Don't worry guys, I'll rescue you!"

Niko pulls out a molotov cocktail and throws it at the Russian gangsters.

Russians: *Screams*

LJ: "Me mon, glad you showed up."

Badman: "Ras! De apartment!"

LJ's apartment is ablaze due to the molotov cocktail. The frontdoor and groundfloor windows are blocked by flames and burning furniture, so the three run upstairs and onto the roof.

Badman: "Tat was a stupid thing to do bloodclot!"

LJ: "We have to get off of de roof before it collapses stars!"

The three jump onto the roof of the building nextdoor, but the fire quickly spreads from LJ's place and soon the entire row of buildings are alight.

Niko: "This way, hurry!"

Niko jumps from the roof of the last building onto a soiled mattress and stack of boxes in an alleyway, followed by LJ and Badman. The FDLC, LCPD, and ambulance crews soon arrive on the scene.

LJ: "Niko, me house! Where me an' Badman gon stay now!?"

Niko: "I'll let you guys stay at my place in Bohan until your place is rebuilt."

LJ & Badman: "Seen." *Both light up a spliff*

 

Niko drives the two to his Bohan residence, and once they all get inside they meet Bernie.

Niko: "Bernie? What are you doing here?"

Bernie: "The Haters, they're after me again!"

At that very moment four men in hoodies armed with knives, baseball bats, chains, knuckle dusters and crowbars casually walk into the room.

Bernie: *Girly scream*

Hater: "We're here for you Mr. Crane."

Niko looks behind him to see if LJ and Badman will help him fight the guys, only to find them both sitting on the sofa high.

LJ: "I an' I be chilled now."

Badman: "Siiiight."

Niko: "Oh for crying out loud guys."

 

1. Niko goes all Red Army on the Haters and beats them all within an inch of their lives.

2. Niko picks up the TV and throws it at one of the Haters.

3. Niko jumps out of the window and leaves Bernie to get beaten-up.

4. Niko tries to persuade the Haters to spare Bernie.

5. A very drunk Roman wielding an SMG staggers into the room.

[Corndawg93]

1. Niko goes all Red Army on the Haters and beats them all within an inch of their lives.

 

(Niko) Don't f#ck with me or Bernie Crane

The haters run away and start to cry

(Bernie) I'm so glad you've come back into my life

 

(Niko) Heard that before

 

(Bernie) Well I'm off to go home

Bernie leaves and LJ and Badman are still cooked on the sofa

 

(Niko) All right time for you go home now

 

(Badman) Bjdbv jdbcdsn cisndvi djbc hiefb ijcre

 

(Niko) What????

 

(LJ) I'll translate for ya Niko, he said we've got anutter job fa ya an ting, seen

 

(Niko) Ok, where the package

 

(LJ) In da back of ma car rudeboy, den take da package to da top oov Rodderdam Tower, go now

 

(Niko) Ok

Niko heads out to LJ car and gets the package and heads to the tower, but before he gets there, something happens

What happened???

1) The top of the tower explode and rubble come falling down

2) The package starts ticking

3) His car breaks down

4) A rival gang try to ram Niko for the Package

[AlexGTAGamer]

 

2) The package starts ticking

Niko: "Where is that damn ticking sound coming from?"

Niko pulls LJ's Virgo over to the side of the road, opens the boot, and takes a look at the package.

Niko: "Is Jacob getting me to exchange a clock?"

Out of pure curiosity Niko opens the package and sees inside a ticking time bomb, and it's about to hit 0:00.

Niko: "CRAP!"

He dives into the doorway of a shop next to him and takes cover as the bomb, and the car, explode. Windows of buildings and stores nearby shatter, cars driving past at that time are flipped onto their sides, a row of newspaper boxes and a postbox are knocked over, along with a street sign which smashes through the window of the building Niko is next to, and pedestrians on the street begin to panic.

Niko: "Damn! That was too close."

He pulls out his phone and contacts Jacob whilst emergency crews swarm the street.

LJ: "Sight?"

Niko: "Jacob, that package you gave me was a bomb! WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT!?"

LJ: "A bomb cha say? Ras! It must be dem Russian bloodclots. They must ah swapped de package with dat bomb to try an' kill me!"

Niko: "Should I go and kill a bunch of them for revenge?"

LJ: "Nah star, we gwon play smart. Dhey try and ah kill me, we ah blow 'em to Babylon. Seen?"

Niko: "Seen."

LJ: "Meet me in de alleyway behind de Perestroika Club in ah de Hove Beach. One love."

Niko: "See you there man."

 

- One quick taxi ride later -

 

Niko goes into the alleyway behind the Perestroika Club and sees Jacob standing next to a Huntley Sport Hillside Posse variant.

Niko: "Jacob. So what's the plan?"

LJ: "There be an deal going down between dem Russian bloodclots and some Albanian rudeboys, behind de old Cherkov building, opposite Roman's old cab place. You gon crash de party by taking dis Huntley rigged with a bomb to the deal, drive into the alleyway, bail out an detonate to blow 'em all away. Den, pick off any survivors, an' ting."

Niko: "Pretty straight forward then - go there with the rigged car, blow it up, kill any survivors."

LJ: "Sight."

Niko: "See you afterwards."

 

Niko takes the Huntley Sport to the alleyway, but just then...

1. Someone tipped-off the Russians and Albanians and they begin to shoot at Niko before he can get into the alleyway.

2. The LCPD have already busted the deal.

3. He finds nobody there.

4. The Huntley breaks down just up the road from the deal spot.

5. Niko sees a familiar face at the deal, it is [insert character here].

Edited August 30, 2012 by AlexGTAGamer

[Elyobo893]

5.

To his horror he sees Roman at the deal, asking which Albanian wants to go bowling with him. Niko cannot bring himself to include Roman in this. He is about to drive away when:

1) He is noticed by the dealers

2) The Albanians throw Roman into a van

3) Niko comes up with a bright idea

4) The Huntley Sport's bomb begins ticking profusely!

 

[The_Anti-tragedy]

4) The Huntley Sport's bomb begins ticking profusely!

Niko: Sh*t!

Niko gets out and breaks off the bomb of the Huntley. He throws it at 00:12 to the Russians. He runs behind various boxes before performing a stealth move. He swipes, Roman with the bomb hitting 00:00. THe bomb strikes everywhere. The buildings beside the alley are all lopsided by the powerful explosion.

Roman: Where do we go?!

Niko: To the S.U.V.!

After getting in the Huntley Sport, Niko lectures Roman.

Niko: Cousin, what were you doing there?

Roman: I supposed you would never go bowling with me so I considered asing everybody in the city. I guess. How about we have a few shots at Comrades?

Niko: Sure!

Niko and Roman pick up Brucie and Packie. They also get Johnny, Luis, Gay Tony, Bernie, Little Jacob, Dwayne, and Badman. They all have one too many shots of alcohol, and stop by at Niko's North Holland Penthouse. They then reenact "11 drunks play Slender." They shout at nearly everything that happens in the game.

Roman: The frames in the game are... slow.

Packie: DON'T F*CKING GO RIGHT, YOU F*CKIN' fa**ot F*CK!

Johnny: WE'RE SCARED OF CHAIRS, WE'RE SCARED OF FENCES...

Niko: Trees are made into chairs...

Gay Tony: WE'RE SURROUNDED BY POTENTIAL CHAIRS!

Bernie: I need a DICK IN MY AAAAAASS!

Dwayne: You are such a homosexual!

Brucie: HEY DID YOU TURN ON THE CALCULATOR?! NIKO YOUR F*CKING LAPTOP SUCKS!

LJ: IYAH THAT BE TAH ROID RAGE!

After they finally get caught by the Slender man, most of them leave mostly sober. Niko, Brucie, LJ, Packie, Badman, and Johnny are still there. All of a sudden, the Slender Man comes to life from the laptop.

1. Brucie tries to strangle him.

2. Slender Man grabs Badman by the throat.

3. Packie and Johnny try throwing a TV and a bed onto him.

4. The laptop malfunctions an Slender Man is destroyed along with it.

5. Little Jacob and Badman have some ganja and them and the Slender Man have some spliff.

[AlexGTAGamer]

 

5. Little Jacob and Badman have some ganja and them and the Slender Man have some spliff.

Everyone except Badman & LJ: "AAAAHHHHH!"

LJ: "Hey there me mon, you want a spliff?"

Slender: "..." *Grabs the spliff*

Badman: "Cha should like tat, it be our finest ganja."

Slender Man instantly becomes high and starts to stagger around the room. Everyone stares at him as he eventually goes outside and sits in the jacuzzi.

Niko: "Well this certainly is strange."

Roman: "What other weird stuff is going to happen now?"

Brucie: "I CAN'T TAKE THIS! HE'S FREAKING ME OUT!"

Brucie runs into the kitchen and picks up the toaster. He goes outside and drops the toaster into the jacuzzi, electrocuting, and killing, Mr. Slender.

Dwayne: "Aww, I was just beginning to like him as well. He was funny high."

Niko: "Brucie did the right thing though."

Brucie then takes his body, puts it on the BBQ, and lights the body on fire.

Niko: "Okay, maybe he's going a bit over the top now."

Brucie: "DIE!"

Suddenly a flame falls onto the propane tank next to the BBQ.

Niko: "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!"

The BBQ explodes sending Brucie flying off of the building. The wall behind the BBQ is blown to pieces and everyone leaves via the fire escape whilst Niko's apartment is set on fire, again.

Niko: "My insurance company really hates me you know."

LJ and Badman stumble down the road both high, Bernie is still shaking after the whole event, Johnny gets on his bike, and Niko hangs around with those who are left.

 

They now...

1. Go to a strip club.

2. Go to a bar and get drunk, again.

3. Attempt to find Brucie's body.

4. Go to a telephone box and prank call someone.

5. Go get ice cream.

[Elyobo893]

4.

They ring Ray Bulgarin.

Niko(in silly voice): Hello is this Mr. Bulgarin?

Bulgarin: Yes.

Niko: Is your refrigerator running?

Bulgarin: Yes.

Niko: Are you sure?

Bulgarin: Yes, I am certain

Niko: Well....I killed your mother!

Niko and the boys start laughing. Meanwhile Bulgarin vows to get revenge on Niko and decides to:

1) Kill Niko

2)Torture Niko

3) Kill or torture Roman.

4) sh*t in a paper bag leave it on Niko's doorstep and light it on fire.

[gta player13]

3. Kill or torture Roman.

 

Bulgarin uses a high technology device to locate Roman.He kidnapps him and takes him to his house.There,he...

 

1)he farts in his face

2)he forces him to do a "special yoga lesson" to give a blowjob to himself

3)he feeds him rotten fruit

4)he rapes him

[The_Anti-tragedy]

4)he rapes him

Niko and Brucie arrive at Bulgarin's home in Meadows Park and see Bulgarin anal raping Roman in the ass. Niko gives Brucie steroids. Brucie goes on 'roid rage and smashes everything in sight. He grabs a knife from a drawer and cuts Bulgarin's slightly visible penis clean off.

Bulgarin: AAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Niko: That'll teach you a lesson, Mr. Bulgarin!

Bulgarin: Oh yeah? I can force your fatty cousin to anal rape ME instead!

Brucie: Dude, you should chill out.

Bulgarin: LET ME DECIDE WHEN TO CHILUTT!

Niko throws a TV on Bulgarin's head.

1. It lands on Brucie.

2. It lands on Roman.

3. It lands on a hobo stealing Niko and Brucie's Comet outside.

4. It lands on Bulgarin.

5. It hits the chandelier causing it to fall on Bulgarin, knocking him out.

[Elyobo893]

5. It hits the chandelier causing it to fall on Bulgarin, knocking him out.

Niko, Brucie and Roman are about to flee when Mikhail Faustin walks in.

Faustin: Good Lord, what are you doing?

Niko: I thought I killed you

Faustin: I thought I killed you too...Weird..

Niko: Wanna go to Maisonette 9?

Faustin: Hell yeah!

The men are about to leave when:

1) Bulgarin gets up

2) Niko farts

3)Niko gets a call

4) The hobo drives the Comet through the window of the house.

 

 

 

[AlexGTAGamer]

 

4) The hobo drives the Comet through the window of the house.

Hobo: "Cheesy vaginas!"

Niko: "My car! You idiot!"

Hobo: "You're not taking my sperm reptilian!" *Runs away*

Niko: "Get him!"

Niko, Roman and Brucie chase the hobo around the Monoglobe.

Hobo: "Please mommy, no more killing!"

The hobo runs over to the McReary household and knocks on the door.

Packie: "What do you want?"

Hobo: "Reptilians are taking over. Pass it on."

Packie: "*Sigh* I wish it was Jehovah's Witnesses, not a crazy hobo."

Hobo: "Mommy, I told you no one gives a f*ck!"

At that very moment Niko spears the homeless man.

Niko: "Got you!" *Looks up* "Oh, hey Packie."

Packie: "*Sigh* Well since you're all here you might as well come in."

Niko ties the homeless man up with some rope Packie gives him and puts him in the kitchen, whilst Roman and Brucie sit in the living room. They meet Gerry, Derrick, Kate and Ma' McReary inside.

Niko: "So are you lot having a family meeting?" *Ties hobo to a chair in the kitchen*

Packie: "Yeah. It's about Francis."

Niko: "I should have guessed."

Hobo: "Mommy, I'm so sorry for killing you mommy."

Niko: "Shut up! I'm not your mother."

Niko finishes tying the homeless man up and joins the gang in the living room.

 

Just then...

1. Francis walks through the door.

2. The homeless man somehow manages to escape.

3. The LCPD under orders from Francis raid the home.

4. A rival gang performs a drive-by shooting on the McReary residence.

5. A group of homeless men show up at the door to free the hobo Niko took hostage.

Edited August 30, 2012 by AlexGTAGamer

[Elyobo893]

 

1. Francis walks through the door

 

Francis: The f*ck is this?

Hobo: They're taking my sperm, goddamn reptilians!

Ma McReary: Francis we need to talk.

Francis: Not another intervention

Gerry: Listen dipsh*t, we're sick of you trying to bust our crime organisation

Francis: I'm a cop, for Christ's sake!

Gerry: But your our brother first. You need to control yourself or your gonna end up getting Niko to kill Derrick or something.

Derrick: Wait, what?

Francis: You're right. This whole time I've been the real criminal. I'm sorry

The McRearys group hug.

Niko: I left the war for this?

Suddenly:

1) The hobo breaks free

2) Ma drops dead

3) Niko gets a call

4) Yusuf Amir walks into the room

[AlexGTAGamer]

 

4) Yusuf Amir walks into the room

Yusuf: "WHAT'S UP MY NIG-"

Everyone: "DON'T SAY IT!"

Yusuf: "Nigg-"

Niko: "I'm warning you."

Yusuf: "Nigge-"

Packie picks up a chair, hits Yusuf over the head with it, then kicks him out of the living room window.

Hobo: "Oh no! They killed another truth seeker!"

Niko: "Shut up!"

Francis: "I'm going to get you arrested for assault Packie!"

Packie: "You wouldn't dare."

Francis: "Try me."

Gerry: "If you try and arrest him you'll have to arrest me too."

Francis: "Do you really want to go back to prsion Gerry?"

Derrick: "Hey lay off of him, he's your brother."

Francis: "Oh sorry brother. Maybe I will get Niko to shoot you."

Ma: "Francis!"

Francis: "Oh just drop dead already you old bag."

Kate: "HEY!"

Francis: "And yes, dear sweet Katie. No one would ever dare lay a finger on you. In fact, no one would ever lay with you for that matter."

Niko *pushes Francis to the side*: "That's enough now Frankie."

Francis: "You just assaulted an officer Nicky, you'll get time for that."

Roman: "Don't mess with my cousin!"

Brucie: "Yeah! Well, except for the cousin part for me, we're not related."

Roman: "No need to point out the obvious Brucie."

Francis *pulls out radio*: "Attention all units, we have an officer in need of urgent assistance, all closest units to respond to the address of the McReary household in Meadows Park."

Brucie: "NO! I'M NOT GOING TO JAIL!" *Punches Francis who falls back into the fireplace*.

Francis: "AAAHHH! YOU IDIOT!"

Brucie: "I didn't mean to do that!"

Packie: "I smell bacon."

Francis: "F*CK YOU PACKIE! K*CK YOU ALL!" *Falls to the ground*

Niko: "Well done Brucie, you just killed their brother. Son regarding Mrs. McReary."

Gerry: "Kate take Ma out of here, we'll deal with Francis."

 

Niko, Roman, Brucie, Packie, Gerry and Derrick take Francis' charged body outside where suddenly...

1. They are attacked by an enemy gang.

2. The homeless man manages to break free and starts to attack them.

3. A passing LCPD patrol spots them with the body.

4. A pedestrian spots them and calls the police.

5. The LCPD who were radioed by Francis arrive on scene.

Edited August 30, 2012 by AlexGTAGamer

[Elyobo893]

 

5. The LCPD who were radioed by Francis arrive on scene.

 

LCPD: Smile dead men, it's the LCPD!

The men drop Francis' body and Niko, the McRearys and Brucie attack Francis' back up. Roman hides in a trash can. The streets are paved with the blood of LCPD officers when NOOSE arrives with an APC. Niko and the boys take cover behind a wall but are under heavy fire from the APC.

Niko gets an idea:

1) Brucie will distract the APC while the rest grab Francis' body and dispose of it.

2) Hand themselves in

3) Get Yusuf back with his solid gold Buzzard

4) Go back to Serbia ( he's been through some serious sh*t)

[The_Anti-tragedy]

I find it really cool how this thread has been unusually really active today.

 

1) Brucie will distract the APC while the rest grab Francis' body and dispose of it.

 

Brucie: HELLO BOYS!

Brucie takes off his shirt and moves his "pecs". The LCPD stare in awe. Roman gets out of the trash can but gets ran over by the homeless man who was tied up, who stole Niko's Comet.

Niko: Hold on!

Hobo: ROBOT MAN JUICE!

Niko shoots the hobo in the head. Niko takes the car and Packie rides shotgun. Gerry, Derrick, and Brucie surprisingly all fit in the trunk. The APC is now pursuing them. Niko in the Comet speeds over to the Algonquin-Dukes Expressway. The APC follows, knocking cars out of the way and even blowing some up in the process. Niko loses the chopper by hitting the brakes really fast. The APC gets too far and the five lose their wanted level. Niko drops the McReary's off at their house, and he and Brucie pick up Roman. They ride all day long. Until Brucie sees...

1. Russians chasing them in a bus.

2. An army of homeless men running toward them to avenge the hobo that Niko killed.

3. The Slender Man who keeps flashing at Brucie every two seconds.

4. A double rainbow.

Edited August 30, 2012 by The_Anti-tragedy

[Corndawg93]

The Slender man was already dead from a couple of pages ago, just saying

 

4. A double rainbow

 

(Brusie) OHHHHH A DOUBLE RAINBOW

They all see look at the rainbow in a dreamy sort of way until the car stears of the road and into a gaspump BOOM!!!!!

 

(DanzNewz) THREE TICKETS TO PARADICE (If You get that reference, your a legend)

They all respawn at different hospital and we follow Johnny who is at the Lost MC Clubhouse playing Hi-Low with Terry, Clay, Jim and Angus

(Cardman) Hi or low boys, we'll start with you Terry

 

(Terry) Hi

Cardman pulls out the card and it is Hi

(Terry) Hell Yeah

Who goes next

1) Clay

2) Johnny

3) Angus

4) Jim

 

 

[Elyobo893]

2) Johnny

 

 

Johnny: Uh, Lo.

Cardman: High

Johnny: f*ck! Gimme another Lo

Cardman: High

Johnny: sh*t! another! Lo

Cardman: High..

Johnny: ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

Johnny loses the rag and is about to punch the cardman in the face when Brian walks in and says:

1) There's an army of Deadbeats outside

2) Johnny's bike has been stolen by a different hobo

3) OMG DOUBLE RAINBOW

4) Anyone wanna go to Burger Shot?

 

 

 

[The_Anti-tragedy]

2) Johnny's bike has been stolen by a different hobo

Johnny: WHAT, Hexi has been stolen?

Angus: Hexi? Is that what he named it?

Clay, Terry, Brian: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...

Johnny: Shut up!... It's not funny!

Johnny runs outside and spots the hobo. He jumps onto a car to get closer. He runs onto other cars then grabs onto the motorcycle. His hands get messed up by the wheel. Brucie, who respawned in Alderney, is driving another motorcycle he found. Brucie gets distracted by the triple rainbow. He crashes into the hobo. The hobo's nuts explode, and Johnny get on.

Johnny: Thanks, man. Ew, are these cum stains on the seat?

Brucie: I don't know. The only juice I talk about is when I'm juiced to the MAX!

Johnny: Yeah. Good luck with that.

Johnny rides his Hexer back to the parking space in front of the club. But the Angels of Death in a Gang Burrito come and smash into Johnny's bike.

Johnny goes back inside. He first informs the other members then runs somewhere in the club, he...

1. Gets laughed at by the members for having white stains on his pants.

2. Goes to his room to watch TV. He sees a commercial for "Woody Johnson Attorney at Law".

3. Quickly gets ambushed by the Angels and gets multiple bullets inside of him.

4. Runs outside while the members get ready. He somehow gets into a reality show for TLC.

5. Laughs and shoots at some objects by the bar making them spaz out.

 

[AlexGTAGamer]

1. Gets laughed at by the members for having white stains on his pants.

Everyone: "HAHAHAHA!"

Johnny: "SHUT UP! There are deadbeats outside. Stop laughing at me and let's deal with them!"

Clay: "Sorry Johnny but we can't take orders from someone with white splodges all over their trousers."

Johnny goes to his room and changes his trousers, then goes back to the gang.

Johnny: "There! Now can we beat those deadbeats up?"

Clay: "Sure, let's roll."

Everyone in the clubhouse runs outside armed with a variety of weapons from guns to melee weapons, and even substitute weaponry (stools, broken bottles, etc.), only when they all get outside the A.O.D are gone.

Terry: "So where are those deadbeats, eh John?"

Johnny: "I don't understand, they were here a second ago."

But at that very moment an army worth of A.O.D bikers block off both ends of the street with gang burritos and a variety of motorcycles. Bikers take cover behind all manners of things from cars and walls, to postboxes and even telephone poles.

Johnny: "Crap."

Clay: "EVERYONE BACK INSIDE!"

They all run back into the clubhouse pushing and shoving each other out of the way whilst the A.O.D open fire on the club. Some Lost members are hit and killed and others are wounded. Johnny, Clay, Terry, and a few other bikers run to the roof and exchange fire on the A.O.D, mainly focusing on destroying points of cover with RPGs, pipe bombs and grenade launchers.

Johnny: "Take this you deadbeats!"

Bikers on both side suffer huge loses, and eventually after an hour of chaos the A.O.D retreat.

Johnny: "VICTORY!"

Surviving Lost members: *Cheers*

 

But then...

1. The LCPD show up.

2. The A.O.D return more heavily armed and with more bikers.

3. Niko walks down the street.

4. A lone A.O.D biker sets a fire behind the building which quickly becomes an inferno and engulfs the clubhouse.

5. Johnny's Hexer is stolen, again.

[The_Anti-tragedy]

4. A lone A.O.D biker sets a fire behind the building which quickly becomes an inferno and engulfs the clubhouse.

Terry: Jump!

Johnny, Angus, Clay, Terry, Jim, Billy, and Brian jump off the roof and get on some bikes.

Clay: So now where do we go?

Brian: We can stay at my place. Or Billy's.

Billy: Stop kissing my ass for once, Brian. I don't even have a place.

Angus: Or we could take care of those Angels back...

Terry: There's also Johnny's friend Niko. Maybe we could stay at one of his places.

Johnny: Also that fag Tony's club, we could use that as a new clubhouse.

Clay: Let's make our new turf at Bahama Mamas. I heard it's better than that stripper we used to have in the clubhouse.

Johnny: Oh yeah, she retreated before the fire, right?

Where do the six bikers and other members go to stay?

1. Brian's sh*thole he calls a house. (Suggested by Brian)

2. To the Angels of Death clubhouse in West Algonquin to have revenge. (Suggested by Angus)

3. Niko's North Holland Penthouse that keeps catching on fire. (Suggested by Terry)

4. Maisonette 09 to Tony and Luis' dismay. (Suggested by Johnny)

5. Bahama Mamas for the strippers. (Suggested by Clay)

[AlexGTAGamer]

 

3. Niko's North Holland Penthouse that keeps catching on fire. (Suggested by Terry)

The gang swing by Niko's penthouse, only to fine that surprisingly the place is still on fire.

Johnny: "Sod this let's go to Maisonette 9."

The gang then drive all the way over to the club and barge past Dessie outside, to find inside a large meeting that includes Luis, Tony, Niko, Roman, Brucie, Dwayne, Packie and his brothers (excluding Francis) LJ and Badman, Yusuf, Bernie, and a few other allies.

Johnny: "What's going on here guys?"

Luis: "We just got word from an anonymous contact of ours that some people called 'The Saints' are coming over to L.C to 'expand their empire'."

Johnny: "Ain't no one taking over L.C."

Lost MC: "Yeah!"

Luis: "That's exactly why they have to be stopped."

Niko: "Rumour has it that they'll be arriving at Francis International Airport later today to begin their expansion."

Johnny: "Well what are we all doing here then? Let's gear up and take those buggers down!"

Everyone: "YEAH!"

Johhny: "For L.C!"

Everyone: "FOR L.C!"

Niko: "For our businesses and homes!"

Everyone: "FOR OUR BUSINESSES AND HOMES!"

Roman: "For titties!"

Everyone: "FOR TI- Wait, what?"

Roman: "Gotcha!"

 

They all head over to FIA armed with a variety of weaponry and military vehicles (Buzzards, APCs, etc.) They soon spot two jumbo jets, seven Gwahar jets and ten Buzzards approaching the runway.

Niko: "FIRE AT WILL!"

They fire at the planes and helicopters bringing down 3 jets and 5 Buzzards, but the jumbo jets are still intact and land on the runway. Yusuf chases after one in his Buzzard and Niko opens fire on the other one in his APC. Soon the Hillside Posse called by LJ show up to offer assistance, as do Armando and Henrique with some small time hoods, and the Uptown Riders.

 

1. The LCPD, NOOSE and FIB show up too and ally with the troop to take down the Saints as they have comes into the city illegally.

2. The gang manage to wipe out the Saints.

3. The Saints manage to get the upper hand against the gang and push them out of the airport.

4. Dan Houser intervenes in the small scale war.

5. Something extremely strange happens.

Edited August 31, 2012 by AlexGTAGamer

[Elyobo893]

 

1. The LCPD, NOOSE and FIB show up too and ally with the troop to take down the Saints as they have comes into the city illegally

 

Niko:Why are you guys here?

LCPD Officer: You see, the crime in Liberty City is off the scale and that's just fine. We just don't want any unnecessary silliness like giant purple dildos and poor story telling here too!

Niko: Ok let's do this!

With the combined force of Niko and the criminals and the entire Liberty City Law Enforcement, the "Saints" are soon pushed back out of LC.

Niko: Professor Genki can't save you now!

The Liberty Cityers all go to Maisonette 9 and celebrate there.

Gay Tony: Ladies and Gentlemen, more shots!

Everyone cheers

Roman: Bowling anyone?

Silence...

Playboy X: I thought you was money.

What happens next?

1) Roman is kicked out of the party

2) Playboy X beats Roman up

3) Playboy challenges Roman to a dance off

4) Niko goes bowling with Roman( he feels sorry for his socially awkward cousin)