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My Chain Story

Recommended Posts

3)Cut to Niko and Alessa getting back to his penthouse.
Niko and Alessa were in a brown Schafter heading back to Niko's penthouse. The path took them along a view where they could clearly see smoke rushing from an area that used to be owned by Playboy X - Niko, slightly stunned but also slightly dulled by the recent series of weird events in his life - turned to Alessa for some clarification.
Niko: Hey, you wouldn't happen to know why at this point half the district looks like its been turned to rubble, would you?
Alessa: No. What makes you say that?
Niko: I don't know. Something to do with the future...
Alessa: Lesson number deux, I can't give you too much information. And also, I wasn't even here when whatever happened.
Niko: But surely you know? I mean, after you get rescued or whatever happens?
Alessa: Oh yeah. Playboy tried to blow up your friends.
Niko: ....You know what? I'm not even f*cking surprised.
Niko turned on the radio to a Weazel News Broadcast. The news reporter seemed very frightened.
Reporter: Motherf*cker! This arab c*nt just crashed a helicopter and now his Dominican suicide bomber is threatening to blow up the city.
Host: Oh jeez. Wow. That's very colourful. You realise we have children on this show, asshole?
Niko had to turn down the volume at the last bit.
Niko: And you didn't feel the need to mention this?
Alessa: Apparently that was supposed to be Luis and Yusef.
Niko: ...I'm still not impressed...
Suddenly two familiar names were uttered on the radio.
Host: Alright we have with us on the issue acting mayor Roman Bellic and Jenny something of the Equal Rights Group. Who cares about her last name cause she's a woman or something. (AN: I forgot her last name. Does she have one?)
Niko: Umm what?
Host: We'll start with you, Mr Mayor.
Roman: All I have to say is, F*cking Terrorists.
Host: What?
Roman: Terrorists, so what if there is a big scare? As long they don't attack our great bowling facilities.
Host: Hmmm, OK. How exactly are you mayor again?
Roman: Ah yeah. Bernie ran away. Said he couldn't deal with this sh*t again and he didn't want his alter ego to turn up or something. Who knows with that guy?
Host: Well we've certainly had worse to lead us through this catastrophe. Now, Jenny, what the f*ck is happening?
Jenny: The f*ck is that these POCs have had enough of your oppressive rule-
Host: Sorry, the transmission cut out or something. It wasn't deliberate.
Niko turned off the radio.
Niko: ....OK. Now I'm a bit concerned.
Alessa: What do you want to do?
Niko: What should I do?
Alessa: I can't tell you. It's a critical moment.
Niko: ...
Alessa: Basically the history isn't written up to this point. If I tell you to do something it would likely replace the univers-
Niko: OK. You just didn't want to answer the question. I guess we...
A] See what the hell Roman is up to.
B] Continue with our chicken date.
C] Get the f*ck out of town.
D] Try to find Luis.
E] Try to find Yeager.

Edited by ArmyRaidFail404

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A] See what the hell Roman is up to

They leave the Schafter in the parking spot, proceeding into the penthouse via elevator, as has been done so many times in the past.


Niko: Something's obviously f*cked up if they're choosing Roman to speak for them in the City Hall. We'd best check up on him an-


Niko: What the-

Roman: WELCOME TO AME- uhh, your penthouse! *hugs Niko overwhelmingly*

Niko: Roman, what is going on?! You were on the radio a moment ago, how did you come here so quickly?

Roman: Whuh? On the radio?

Niko: Speaking about some terrorist attack in Star Junction?

Roman: Oh, right! Yes, that was me. But, this is - uhh, a bit difficult to explain...

Niko: What's going on? Why are there party banners and balloons everywhere all of a sudden?

Packie (coming out of nowhere): That's a bloody great question. It's because that penguin writer has been so damn lazy lately that this couldn't be shoe-horned into regular plot progression.

Niko: WHAT?


Suddenly the seemingly empty apartment erupts to life as people pop up from every possible nook and cranny, including Brucie from a trash can and Yeager from the toilet. Even though there's too many faces to recognize everyone in a short amount of time, Niko somehow knows that this is it - the ultimate party, with all of his former friends and enemies, dead and alive, in attendance. Party horns blare and confetti is thrown everywhere.


Roman: Surprise, cousin! Don't ever think we would've forgotten this!

Niko: I feel I've forgotten something for sure. It can't be my birthday, can it?

Packie: No! We're talking about-

Dwayne: Shush! Let Roman say it, he's the first person Niko knew in this city.

Roman: It's the tenth anniversary of your arrival!


More cheering from the crowd, followed by a group hug where very few really get in proper contact with Niko, but it doesn't bother them a lot - Niko hasn't had a lot of time to shower recently, after all, and the smell is pretty noticeable for anyone even in the far back.


Brucie: Hell yeah! NB still kicking ass like, like, like when he was stealing all those cars for me, and - and winning races like a champ!

Johnny: There's been some good times and some bad times, but I suppose we can get along just fine for this day here.

Luis: I got left in a pretty bad spot over there, so I guess this party's kind of a relief. Oh - and congrats to Niko, I suppose.

Mallorie: You've done plenty of good for a lot of us, don't ever doubt that.

Bernie: Niko, look! Bryce and I have adopted a baby! Kiss it for good luck!

Yeager: I'm your most established friend among the original characters, right? Here's to ten more glorious years!

Packie: Even though we kind of move at a snail's pace here-

Dwayne: Shut the f*ck up, Packie. Hey, Niko, thanks for, you know, choosing me over Playboy long ago. Even though death's not awfully final in this universe sometimes.

Niko: So how are all of you here anyway? What was Luis talking about?

Packie: Can't I get special permission to break the fourth wall just this once? It's real important.

Chester: Do it, but do it fast! I see all sorts of patterns closing in on me-


Packie: Right. *clears throat* The guy writing our lines right now always wanted to make this special episode, but because there hasn't been much progression to the plot, he decided to go for it by writing a sort of a... parallel universe setting. So this doesn't really fit anywhere in the plot, it's just an average celebratory episode like all that Christmas sh*t in sitcoms.


Niko: So what you mean to say is - this isn't really canonical, but you broke the canon for a special occasion?

Bryce: Wait, so our baby's not part of the canon? That stinks, man!

Packie (to Dwayne): It's alright... I f*cking hate babies...

Roman: You got it, cousin. I don't know if there'll be long term consequences for messing with the timeline like this, but it's not like we could just skip the party, right?


Niko looks around, pretty proud actually of what kind of parade of characters he's got to associate with over the years, even if some haven't been terribly nice. There's Gerry and Derrick downing whiskey while sitting on his bed and barfing it out every now and then (that better not be canon too, as he'd rather not clean up), Elizabeta with a reluctant-looking D'elroy sitting on her lap, Fortuna playing blackjack with Jacob and Badman, who are counting cards, Yusuf in a party hat dancing to Arab Money, Lynch singing a sh*tty rap song, Eagles Cabbie trying to overpower the former two with his own sh*tty cover of an Eagles song, and even a collection of Niko's old enemies - Vlad, Dimitri, Bulgarin, Pegorino, and the leaders of original gangs such as the Chupacabras, Mounties and Dingoes, but they appear to be playing nice for now and enjoying the party like ever before.


Roman: OK, let's play some party games! Everyone's familiar with 'Spin the Bottle', right?

Packie: Does the winner get to knee my brothers in the guts?

Roman: No, it's like, whoever the bottle points at has to kiss the one who spins it. Or was it the other way? Anyway, come on, need more ladies in here...

D'elroy: Wait, Niko, I forgot to tell you-

D'elroy tries to spring up from his awkward position, but Elizabeta pulls him back, enjoying it as if it were a game.

Elizabeta: You don't run off to smooch with any other ladies now, 'D'. You're all mine.

D'elroy: It's not that - Niko, there's one more guest on the way, and I don't think you need to guess-

D'arcy: Hi there, everybody! Aw... isn't it rude to start off without me?


The music abruptly stops, even if it's mostly just for drama. Niko knew who it was before she even opened his mouth. For a moment, the tough-as-nails adversaries have a little staring contest.

Niko: D'arcy O'Callahan.

D'arcy: Niko Bellic.

More silence. The staring contest intensifies, the two of them just about at the same level. It's as if D'arcy chose high heels that would precisely match Niko's height.

D'arcy: What? You thought I'd come here to assassinate you?

Niko: Well-

D'arcy: Because that would be, like, so not cool! Who would then be left to accept this teeny-tiny-little present that poor old D'arcy took so much effort to craft up?

Niko: Present?

D'arcy: Of course it's a present!

She shoves a gift box at Niko's face, wrapped entirely in pink and purple. Niko wouldn't expect anything less, although the fact it didn't explode into an acid bomb that would melt his face off was rather surprising. As he catches it in one of his hands to avoid dropping it, D'arcy jumps at him, which he at first mistakes for an attack, but really it's an over-enthusiastic hug.

D'arcy: Happy tenth anniversary! It's soooooo weird to think we had no idea of each other even existing back then, or even five years ago!

Niko: I suppose.

D'arcy: Aw, don't be a buzzkill! Just like New Year's, it's ceasefire time! Now remember to read the card too, or I'll attack you three seconds before the truce ends!

Niko: What about the gift, you want me to open it in front of all these people?

D'arcy: Noooooo, it's real personal! You better be on your own when you do, or else I'll know!

Niko: If you know, then what?

D'arcy: Do our vague games not get you excited in the slightest? Silly Niko, I'd claw some stripes on your face for being so boring if this wasn't the special party to end all special parties!

Roman: Come on, lady, uhh - let the rest of us have a piece of my cousin too, eh? We were about to, uhh, play, and if you'd be so kind-

D'arcy: You got party games? I love party games! Let's pin the tail on the donkey! Only I got a better version, where you need some really huge asshole, like Cam over there-

She points at Cam, who's been quietly masturbating in a corner, hoping nobody would look at him. He'd done such a good job so far...

D'arcy: And you pin some knives and - and all kinds of shiny sharp things on his waste of a body!

Cam: *yelps*

Niko: I'm surprised to say this, but I kind of agree.

Cam: W-what? Wait, Niko, I'm just a small-time antagonist! Look there! It's Pegorino and - and Dimitri and all those boys, they're the ones you want! I'm only comic relief!

Adult Alessa: The continuity I had to experience, all thanks to you, would disagree with that, you f*cking little scumbag.


Niko hadn't even realized that Alessa from the future, in a grown-up state, was still present too. It was as if she'd vanished when Roman greeted him, and re-appeared now to torment Cam.


Packie: This is where the next writer can decide if you want to stay with the half-assed special episode, or-

Dwayne: Don't go over the threshold! What if the damn Houser brothers find out?

Packie: F*ck the Housers, Dwayne. F*ck the whole dev team! Removing our music from a ten-year-old game like that!


1) The party-goers start torturing Cam in mutual agreement as the whole thing takes a dark turn.

2) Brucie accidentally drops Bernie and Bryce's baby 2 seconds after asking to hold it. The baby's wails distract the people enough for Cam to make a run to the fire escape.

3) Another special guest unexpectedly arrives.

4) The celebratory episode comes to an abrupt halt due to budget cuts, and we resume from where the 'real world' left off (see above post).

Edited by Carbonox

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3) Another special guest unexpectedly arrives.


Just then Eriden shows up with the infinity gauntlet on his hand, with all 6 stones, waving it around

(Niko) What is he doing here

(Eriden) Happy anniversary Niko, see this gauntlet on my hand, one click and I can erase every Original character in here

(D'arcy) No, don't erase me

(Niko) This is non canon asshole

(Eriden) That non canon crap ended ages ago, this is real, bye now

Eriden lifts up the Gaunlet, all the while Niko pulls out his platinum gun


What happens next???

1) Eriden snaps, no more OG characters

2) Niko kills Eriden

3) Eriden snaps but only Alessa dies

4) The snap doesn't work



Yes, it is me again trying to revive this Chain Story again.


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And then Niko begins to run and outrun everybody and hides he need to stay on a low profile until......


1: He comes eye to eye with his enemy

2 He run to another gta universe

3  He hears a sound

4 It was all a bad dream

5 A car is coming with alessa in it.

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4 It was all a bad dream


Niko jumps from his bed, in the Middle East apartment, it's January 1st 2019


(Niko) What the hell, oh bad dream

Niko puts his clothes on and walks to the lounge room where Roman is playing Rad Dad Redemption 2


(Roman) Hey NB, you look disorientated, you ok

(Niko) What day is it?

(Roman) January 1st 2019, why

(Niko) I feel like I've missed 9 months

(Roman) That sounds bizarre 


What does Niko do about his situation???

1) Ask His friends about the last 9 months

2) Play Rad Dad with Roman

3) Go on Internet and catch up with the world

4) Go back to bed

5) Scream

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Niko shook his head in disbelief, unable to come to terms that it's been months since he's last done anything. Without saying anything to his cousin, Niko turns away and starts walking towards the island in the kitchen where his old iFruit labtop was placed and sat down on one of the chairs. Pulling out his phone, he finds Packie within the surplus of contacts he's collected over the years and dials the number. Ringing a few times, the Irishman picks up.


"Hey Nicky, what the f*ck man? You think I'm some kind of bitch, not calling me for so long?"


Niko cracked a grin for a second, but straightened himself out.


"Yeah, I'm sorry Packie. It's just.." 


Niko's words trailed off, he had no idea where he was going with it.


" 'It's just' what, Niko? f*ck, it's been MONTHS since I last heard from you man. Thought you were in f*cking jail!"


Niko had no idea what to say. He couldn't remember anything over the past few months.


"I don't know what to say man, except I'm sorry."


Niko heard an audible sigh over his phone.


"Ah f*ck it man, it's just good to hear you're still alive. So what's up?"


"Uh, I was just calling to ask the same thing to you. I can't f*cking remember anything."


"Well, what is there to say? Everything happened so long ago, it's a safe bet to say everything just solved itself, right?"


"I guess, but sh*t Packie. You haven't anything from anybody? Dwayne? Brucie?"


"Not really man. Last I heard Brucie over in Los Santos doing God knows what, and Dwayne was in Las Venturas."


"Anything else?"




"sh*t man, well alright. Maybe I'll pay you a visit soon. Later Packie."


"Later on, man."


Niko cancelled the call with Packie and slipped his phone into his pocket, debating what he wanted to do.


1. Niko decides to pay a visit to Packie at the McReary Residence in Dukes.

2. Niko decides to call Brucie.

3. Niko decides to call Dwayne.

4. Niko, for whatever reason decides to smack Roman upside the head while he's playing his game.

5. We swap to another character.

Edited by Fallcreek

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3. Niko decides to call Dwayne.


Niko's call to Dwayne was not what he expected, Dwayne seemed a little pissed


(Niko) Dwayne, Buddy, I have no clue what happen in the last 9 months, can you shed some light on the situation 

(Dwayne) No idea what happen?, you f*cking kidding me, f*ck you, you good for nothing bastard 

(Niko) What your problem

(Dwayne) You asshole, you should know my damn problem, NEVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN


Dwayne hangs up leaving Niko a bit miffed, him and Dwayne were BFFs since 2008, what was 

his damn problem, so Niko turns to Roman


(Niko) Hey Roman, what did I do to piss off Dwayne....


Roman doesn't hear what he said due to the game he was playing, he's since changed the game to Arachnid-Boy, this cause Niko to walk over and smash the console in half and yell at Roman


(Roman) Hey, that cost a tonne of money

(Niko) I don't care, WHY. DOES. DWAYNE. HATE. ME

(Roman) You don't remember?

(Niko) No I don't f*cking remember

(Roman) Ok then Dwayne hates you because...


Why does Dwayne hate Niko???


1) He didn't call him, at all

2) Niko called him a racial slur 

3) Niko murdered Dwayne's cat

4) Niko ratted Dwayne out to the Feds




5) Roman doesn't know

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2) Niko called him a racial slur


Niko: W-wait what? When did I ever do that?

Roman: Cousin, you know Dwayne is very sensitive about these things. You shouldn't say such a word around him.

Niko: But I never said anything. What are you talking about?

Roman: You did, you said the uh... the n-word.

Niko: You've got to be kidding me. I never.

Roman: There it is, you said it again.

Niko: What?

Roman: N... never.

Niko: You idiot, that's no racial slur.

Roman: Sure it is. That word implies that one is not able to do something, it spreads negativity.

Niko: That's what you care about? *sigh* Man, you miss nine months.


Roman reaches into a nearby drawer and takes out a couple Shark cards.


Roman: Now, can you buy me a new EXsorbeo 720? And a new copy of Arachnid-Boy as well.

Niko: What does a stupid video game matter to you, cousin? You run a cab business.

Roman: Because, cousin, I bask in the feeling of freedom, the wind in my hair as I swing through the city.

Niko: Sh*t, guess I can't argue with that.

Roman: You'll see once you play it yourself, cousin.


Niko and Roman head down to the local Buy More and purchase an EXsorbeo 720, then to GGgames to pick up Arachnid-Boy. As Niko pays at the counter, Roman nudges his shoulder.


Niko: What is it?

Roman: Someone we know, don't look now. Make the exchange quick, cousin, we must go.


Who is at GGgames with Niko and Roman?


1. Dwayne

2. Lester

3. Luis

4. Dan Silva

5. Ray Boccino

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy

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38 minutes ago, The_Anti-tragedy said:

1. Dwayne

Niko: Dwayne? Roman, are we supposed to ignore him now? Do you think that's something adults do?

Roman: Keep it down, cousin! And I watched this soap opera where the characters definitely did that to someone they had beef with.

Niko: I have no damn beef with Dwayne, I still don't even remember that incident with the 'slur'.

Dwayne: I should've known, the offensive bastard decided to show his face.


Roman is particularly spooked as Dwayne has suddenly appeared behind the cousins, while they were occupied with arguing each other.


Dwayne: You too, Roman? Spreading even more negativity? Oh, look, a scary black man appeared, better jump in case it's a robber and not your long-time friend, huh?!

Roman: No, I-I've been kidnapped in the past, I just don't like being snuck up on.

Dwayne: Keep talking, you're just digging your hole deeper. But then why should you care? Everyone hates me these days.

Niko: Dwayne, that's absolutely not the case.

Dwayne: Then why did you use the N-word?

Niko: How in the hell is that even offensive to you? It's part of common English vocabulary.

Dwayne: There we go, more victim blaming.

Niko: *sigh* I wouldn't have said that if I knew it would upset you so damn much. I never try to offend my friends on purpose, you know that.

Dwayne: Now you've said it again! Is this just to spite me?

Niko: It's like being under f*cking Bern-Bern's rule again. Normal phrases being banned just to inconvenience people.

Dwayne: Stop looking for excuses and apologize, for f*ck's sake!

Niko: You're the one who needs to f*cking apologize! This is a ridiculous overreaction, and I could never have believed you'd go down this path.

Dwayne: Again! You said it yet again! Go on, kick the victim while he's down.

Niko: Snap the f*ck out of it! No one in their right mind would act like this.

Dwayne: So you're calling me irrational now?

Niko: I sure am if you don't calm down!


1) Dwayne shouts "NEVER!" by accident, realizing his mistake a second later.

2) Dwayne starts fighting Niko.

3) Roman panics and alerts the security.

4) Dwayne calms down, finally.

5) Niko spots a strange tiny flashing device on Dwayne's temple, and takes it off.

Edited by Carbonox

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3) Roman panics and alerts the security.



(Dwayne) I ain't doing anything you moron

(Niko) Hey don't insult him Forge


Just then the security show up and ask what happening, both of them seem to be blind


(Blind Security guard 1) What's the problem sir

(Roman) Ah no, we are over here

(Blind security guy 2) He made fun of our condition, get him


The blind security guards go to grab Roman but due to being blind trip over each other and both hit of their heads on counter, knocking both of them out


(Niko) What kind of security are you running here?

(Dwayne) Ah f*ck this


Dwayne walks off and runs into Packie at the entrance of GG games, who's there to buy Angry Dad of War


What does Dwayne do when he sees Packie???


1) Punch him

2) Kill him

3) Hug him

4) Brush by him agressively

Edited by Corndawg93

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Well, it's officially 2019 in Canadaland. Happy New Years you guys, to think this thread had been running for almost a decade is crazy to think about. It's a damn shame that the activity has dropped, but still, it's good to see guys like Tragedy come back from their hibernation to post a new chapter after being gone for so damn long lmao.




Dwayne pulls Packie in for a big ol' hug, which in turn catches Packie by surprise. 


"Whoa, what the f*ck? Dwayne? When did you get back?"


Letting go of Packie finally, Dwayne pulls back to reveal a toothy grin.


"I've been back for a good month now, man---but holy sh*t is it good to see you again"


Packie nodded, but a quizzical expression was still plastered on his face.


"A month? f*ck Dwayne, you couldn't bother to ring me up?"


Dwayne opened his mouth to explain himself, but Niko suddenly cut in between the two.


"Whoa, whoa. Why does Packie all the love?"


"Because Packie's the homie, had my back for all these years unlike your bitch ass."


"What? I've had your back, stop talking sh*t."


A flash of anger crossed Dwayne's face.


"Me talk--shut that mouth, Niko."


"Nah, all these years, all these adventures and this is the road you want to go down on? For some petty bullsh*t like saying 'never'? "


Dwayne's faced scrunched up, clearly fed up with Niko, Cranking his shoulder back, Dwayne let go a wild hook, catching Niko square in the jaw, knocking him out cold. Falling to the ground limp, Roman runs over, yelling at Dwayne. Shrugging his shoulders, Dwayne signaled Packie to follow him and they both left the store.


What Next?

1) Niko wakes up a few minutes later, sore as f*ck.

2) Someone robs that store as Roman's trying to wake up Niko.

3) Roman leaves a knocked out Niko in the store, and goes home to play Arachnid-Boy on his new EXsorbeo 720

4) Niko's phone starts ringing. With Niko out of action, Roman picks up.

5) We follow Dwayne and Packie.

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Posted (edited)

5) We follow Dwayne and Packie.


We see Dwayne and Packie outside of the shops, Packie's a bit confused at what just happened

(Packie) So what's with you and Niko?

(Dwayne) I don't want to talk about it

(Packie) Cmon man, I never took you for...

(Dwayne) You asshole, you just said it 

(Packie) I never said anything

(Dwayne) F*ck you


Dwayne goes to punch Packie but he ducks and grabs Dwayne's arm and spins him to the ground causing Dwayne to hit his head on the concrete 

(Packie) You better check your self before you wreck you self


Just then Roman and Niko run up to Packie standing over Dwayne, Niko with an ice pack on his head and Roman with a GG games bag with the game he wanted 

(Roman) What happened here Packman

(Packie) Dwayne got angry at me for no reason, god damn irrational prick

(Niko) Did you say never

(Packie) Twice I think, why

(Roman) He thinks it's a racial slur

(Packie) Really, that seem retarded 


Just then Nikos phone starts ringing, his ringtone is All Star by Smash Mouth

(Packie) Nice ringtone 

(Niko) Thank you


Who's calling???

1) Yeager

2) Playboy

3) The racist police

4) JuWanna Be White 

5) D'angelo (New character) 


Yes, Happy New Years to you all

Edited by Corndawg93

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It's now May, last post was in January, it's really sad how dead this thread is

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Posted (edited)



2) Playboy


Niko looked at the caller ID blasting All Star into the streets of Liberty City. Playboy? Pretty sure he was the bad guy for a few. It's been months since Niko had even heard from Playboy let alone anyone else. Unless it just so happened that him and him were buddies now, and it might explain some feelings with Dwayne even though it just seems like he's obssesed with the N-word.


Niko: Playboy? sh*t, I haven't heard from you in months.

Playboy: What you talking about? We spoke last week. You were at my kick ass birthday party!

Niko: Oh, right...I remember now..(?) Anyways, why are you calling?

Playboy: Remember that bitch ass wannabee rapper Pathos and his gang?

Niko: Pathos has a gang?

Playboy: Jesus, Niko. Him and his gang been f*cking over my business for two months now! And now, I'm being told that his ass is hitting my garages. I've lost my prized Z-type! Don't this n***a know how rare that sh*t is?

Niko: Damn. Well what am I supposed to do about it?

Playboy: SOMETHING!?.....f*cking..sorry. I'm just real pissed right now. That was 10 million just thrown away thanks to his fat ass.

Niko: Don't worry man, I know the feeling, sort of. I mean, I don't have flashy cars like you do. Just uhh, keep me posted on this whole Pathos thing.


Niko hanged up the phone, all shocked like.


Niko: So apparently me and Playboy are friends.

Packie: What? Out of all these months you never called me, but instead you were buddying up with Playboy??

Niko: I'm sure I had a good reason for it. It's just that I can't remember.

Roman: So, nothing about Dwayne then?

Niko: I didn't get a chance to ask about that. Playboy seemed real pissed off about Pathos.

Packie: I'm pretty shocked by that. Pathos running a gang. That asshole couldn't sell an album but he's got half of Bohan and Northwood.

Niko: When did Pathos get so damn powerful all of a sudden?


What happens next?


A) Niko gets another call

B) Pathos' gang does a drive-by

C) Little Jacob shows up for some reason

D) Dwayne comes back and punches Packie again for saying 'never' again


"Honestly all of you are f*cking amazing that this has gone on for so long. I was about a 100 page late arrival to this whole thing, but this thread is just as much my baby as it is all of yours. I know I'm terrible at consistent posting, but I appreciate that for some weird reason that need not be addressed, we've all stuck around and kept Niko's story going, even if we forgot all the details of the storyline. Glad to just retcon all the stuff we don't remember. Cheers folks, and here's to another page if we can actually get enough posts."

Edited by ArmyRaidFail404
Congratulations for keeping the thread open for so long

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Posted (edited)

D) Dwayne comes back and punches Packie again for saying 'never' again


WACK!!!! Packie goes down with a thump on the concrete with his head hitting a rock knocking him unconscious, his brain possibly damaged and his memory lost and forgetting everything that's happened since 2008, the last thing he remembers was gearing up for the bank hiest


(Niko) That was uncalled for Dwayne

(Dwayne) He had it coming 

(Niko) He had nothing coming, because you think a random word like never is racist 

(Roman) Uh oh


Dwayne's face lit up with anger and throws a punch at Niko but Niko dodges it and grabs the arm and flips Dwayne and kicks him in the gut


(Niko) Stay down asshole


Does Dwayne stay down???

1) Yes

2) No

3) Maybe

4) This thread will die again

Edited by Corndawg93

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4) This thread will die again


Niko knocks Dwayne to the floor. Suddenly, time in Niko's reality freezes, as the Chain Story goes untouched for another year. When one of the writers eventually comes back, time resumes for Niko and the world around him. Like many times before, his memory is reset, as the future writer fails to remember anything going on in the story.


Niko sees a battered Dwayne struggling to get up, as if he had been kicked in the gut or something. He grabs Dwayne's hand and helps him up.


Niko: Dwayne, are you all right? What has happened to you?

Dwayne: Niko, it's you! I don't... I don't know, man. We didn't go out drinking or nothing, did we?

Niko: I am really not sure, Dwayne. But I feel like this isn't the first time I've felt so confused.

Dwayne: Well, sh*t man, that sucks for you. It's gettin' late, I gotta get back to the crib.


Dwayne starts heading off, but Niko grabs his arm and turns him around, a serious contemplative look on his face. Dwayne stiffens.


Niko: Do you think somebody is wiping our memories?

Dwayne: Niko, what the f*ck. Let's just agree it was a hangover, okay. No need to get all sci-fi sh*t on me now. Not again.

Niko: Not again? So do you still retain some of your memory after all?

Dwayne: Ugh, Niko just f*ck off, okay.


Dwayne breaks away and leaves Niko to think about his situation alone. Niko turns around and notices that Roman had been watching him on a bench from a few feet away, as he chowed down on a Bleeder burger, GGgames bag in his hand. He might as well be wearing one of those soda hats to boot. Niko stomps up to Roman and, as he sits down, snatches the greasy sandwich right out of his cousin's grubby hands. He chews with frustration.


Roman: Oh, gee thanks, it wasn't like I was eating that or anything!

Niko: You don't need the calories. Tell me, what's inside that bag of yours? And don't look.

Roman: My copy of Arachnid-Boy that you literally just bought me an hour ago. Are you feeling okay, cousin?

Niko: So you haven't lost your memory?

Roman: I guess. Well at least you and Dwayne stopped fighting. Haha, and you also forget you are Playboy X's bitch. Hahahaha

Niko: Wait what.


Niko calls up Playboy X.


Playboy: Yo Niko, 'sup baby?

Niko: ____

1. "I need your clothes, your boots and your Patriot."

2. "Do you have a mission for me, daddy?"

3. "The bread is in the oven, boss."

4. "Wake the f*ck up, Playboy. We have a city to burn."

5. "Ma name Jeff."

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Niko: Bread is in the oven, boss.

Playboy: What?...Oh f*ck! My bread!


In his mansion Playboy X had been baking bread just a few hours before, but a strippergram sent by Elizabeta Torres had taken his attention off of that for the moment. Afterwards he was confronted by one of his henchmen telling him that several garages had either missing vehicles or were just completely burnt down. His call with Niko kind of calmed him down a bit despite the confusion he faced when Niko forgot all about his birthday party (must have been just a mega hangover), but he was still a lil pissed so he went to smoke a joint, then fell asleep. The next call from Niko came an hour later and was a hell of a shock.


Playboy ripped the oven open; thick smoke emerging from his burnt bread.


Playboy: Dammit! I can't eat this.......but what if I were to purchase Burger Shot and disguise it as my own bread?.........No that's a terrible idea, who am I trying to impress?

Playboy, back on the phone: Niko! How'd you know I was making bread?


Niko had hung up. Obviously this was some sort of joke, although Niko was more of the sarcastic type and not the outright prankster. Although, this would have to be addressed later: Playboy was hella hungry right now. Burger Shot sure seemed tempting now that all that bread was burnt. Playboy directed his attention to the stripper watching WebFlicks in his living room.


Playboy: Bitch, what are you still doing here?

Rita: Elizabeta paid for the night, sugar. And the names Rita you sexist pig.

Playboy: Elizabeta, don't be paying sh*t for me. I'm a big boy, I don't need her presents coming into my home every weekend watching...what the f*ck are you watching?

Rita: "Liberty City: A History."

Playboy: That is.. interesting, to say the least. Look stay if you want, I gotta to talk to Elizabeta. Dropping bitches off to babysit like I'm their uncle or something..


Who do we follow now?

A] Niko, after what he intended to be a crank call

B] Rita, watching WebFlicks

C] Playboy, on his way to see Elizabeta

D] Packie, being sent off to hospital right under Niko's nose

E] Pathos, at his base in Grand Boulevard

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3 hours ago, ArmyRaidFail404 said:

D] Packie, being sent off to hospital right under Niko's nose

While Niko wasn't paying attention, an ambulance rolled into the neighborhood and ran over 2 pedestrians on the way to Packie, who was haphazardly picked up by EMT's and accidentally dropped onto the pavement once, back first. That includes the back of the head.


EMT 1: Oh sh*t, not this again.

EMT 2: Don't sweat it, the caller said he got punched in the face and that put him out of commission. It's not like his brain's any worse off.

EMT 1: You really gotta fix your attitude or I'm calling the bo- hey, where the hell are you carrying him now?!

EMT 2: To the front seat.

EMT 1: What is this, a f*cking cab? Didn't they teach you from the very start that patients always go to the back?

EMT 2: I'd rather have silence while I drive back, than listen to your morality police bullsh*t.

EMT 1: Morality police? You know what, I'm fed up with you too, asshole.

EMT 2: So be it!


They toss Packie aside and get into a fist fight, both happening to land a decisive knock-out punch simultaneously. Five minutes later, a new ambulance arrives to gather all three.


It's still all dark for Packie, except for a little moment on the operation table. They say waking up on it is always a blast.


Doctor 1: Holy sh*t, would you look at this? There's, like, some kinda cube sitting in the middle of his head.

Doctor 2: Hasn't that curiosity been brought up in this chain story before?

Doctor 1: Dude, 130 pages. I'm not gonna go looking around just to confirm if my observation was original or not.

Doctor 2: You could just use the search fu-

Packie: Dwayne, is that you? Why do you keep complaining about that...?

Female Doctor: Oh no you don't, patient. You shut up and breathe a bit more of this happy gas.

Packie: Wait! I thought brain surgery was supposed to be more effective if I was cons-


Packie goes under, for a moment thinking that those would be some pretty pathetic last words if he were to die because of that. At least his brothers would hopefully sue the hospital for millions and then blow it all on drinks, which would lead to Francis losing his mind with them and having them assassinated. No, wait, f*ck the lawsuit, that'd be sh*tty. Maybe Niko would avenge him by planting a bomb in the doctors' cars? But how could he plant bombs if Packie wasn't there to provide the friendship perk? Ah, f*ck.




When Packie wakes up, all seems to be decently well. The light in the room's a bit too bright, but the operating table seems to have been exchanged for a bed, there's some food at the ready for him, and there's that female doctor working some of her instruments, her back facing towards him. Packie's eyes (or eye? Is he still one-eyed in this continuity?) are firmly fixated on her ass, although he's disappointed that the shape is overly concealed in the doctor's robes.


1) The doctor turns around all of a sudden, and is revealed to be Cacey, the lady who used to work the front desk and get harassed by none other than Packie himself.

2) There's another patient in the room, namely Brucie, who got roughed up by Pathos' gang.

3) Cut to Playboy.

4) Cut to Niko and Roman.

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Posted (edited)

2) There's another patient in the room, namely Brucie, who got roughed up by Pathos' gang.


Brucie is laying there on the bed with a broken nose, torn pec, missing eye, and a slew of other injuries a including a hockey stick shoved up his anus and a missing voice box so now he can't talk so all he can do now is make inappropriate hand gestures to the sexy nurse


(Sexy nurse) Now Mr Kibbutz, it no time for that, me and these doctors need to remove the hockey stick

Brucies eye lit up and started bawling with tears running down his stupid face


(Sexy Nurce) All right guys, you two grab the end and we'll yank this part, ok on 3, 1' 2' 3

YANK!!!! With one quick swift yank of the stick it came straight out causing Brucie to jump and fall off the bed and knocks over the light next to Packies bed, the light knocked over knocks someone out


Who got knocked out???

1) One of the male Doctors

2) Packie

3) Cacey

4) The Sexy Nurce 

Edited by Corndawg93

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Posted (edited)

1) One of the male doctors


The light crashed into one of the doctors head, who was just a second ago thrown back by his owe force trying to yank a stick out of Brucie's ass. He got knocked out cold. Packie turned his head away, hoping not to get glassed as a result. The rest of the staff weren't really bothered by it.


Packie: Hey umm, this guy might need some help-...


Packie raced through his memory when he discovered one of the staff was a woman he pretty much sexually assaulted a few years ago. The tyranny of the UN was so long ago. Maybe she forgot?


Cacey: Oh sh*t.. haha!


She hadn't forgotten. Packie gave a look of embarassment.


Cacey: I guess you got what you deserved.

Packie: Stacy, that was years ago..

Cacey: Cacey! Jesus, you really are a dick, aren't you.

Packie: My apologies, Cacey. I've been through a lot of experiences with straight up supervillains over the years and I've recently been hit over the head, numerous times. Your name isn't really in the front of my mind. I bet you don't even remember my name.


Cacey looked at the clipboard on the end of the bed. She said smugly,


Cacey: Patrick McReary.

Packie: Hey! Not only is that unfair, but it's Packie.

Cacey: Well, it says here your name is Patrick, so I guess that concussion you got must have been more serious than originally thought.


Packie sighed.


Packie: What do you want? An apology?

Cacey: No. That won't do. I guess I could just annoy the sh*t out of you while you're here. 

Packie: Well for what it's worth, I'm sorry about all the sexual harassment. If you must know, I was covering for a friend.

Cacey: And your first instinct was to lead with your dick?

Packie: Pretty much. Yes. Cause I'm just a f*cking dickhead. What are you even doing here?

Cacey: If you must know, after a plane crashed in Alderney City and wrecked half the city, my place of employment was kaput. So I grit my teeth, graduated from medical school, and now I'm a doctor here at Northwood Hospital.

Packie: Hey, that's good. Well done.

Cacey: You won't win any sympathy this way.

Packie: Trust me, miss. I'm not asking for it. I'm a bad man.

Cacey: *sigh* you're lucky I took an oath to help people. Even "bad men" like you. You're fine, but the poor doctor on the floor next to you suggested you rest for a few more hours.

Packie: Yeah, is he fine?

Cacey: Yeah he is. You won't believe how many hockey sticks we've removed from people's assholes these past few months. This isn't our first rodeo. Anyways, you're now pretty much under my custody. You can leave when you want, just don't take any aspirin soon. Your blood circulation in the head needs to run smoothly for a bit. And obviously that goes the same for alcohol.

Packie: Is that because I'm Irish?

Cacey: No, it's because on this board here it says you're a known alcoholic.

Packie: Well I should be going..


Packie snaps a look over in Brucie's direction. The poor guy is in a f*ckton of pain.


Packie: That's actually my friend over there. How long is he going to be here?

Cacey: The juice junkie? I have to put him in for surgery. Thankfully the healthcare system in Liberty is pretty good. It'll only be a week.

Packie: If possible, call me when he's done? I gotta bring his ass home.

Cacey: Eh, sure. Just leave your number on your release forms.


Packie gave a nod and walked out of bed. The staff were trying to push Brucie back onto it. Painfully. Cacey called out just as Packie was out the room.


Cacey: Patrick....take care of yourself. I don't wanna see you in this hospital wing again.


Packie nodded again. Just as he was coming up to ER reception to sign his release forms, he called up his brother Gerald.


Packie: Hey, it's me. I'm just coming out the hospital.

Gerald: Hangover hit hard?

Packie: Actually, Dwayne hits hard. That asshole is acting mental. But that's not why I'm calling. I saw Brucie Kibbutz in the same room, with, get this: a hockey stick shoved halfway up his ass.

Gerald: You're not saying what I think you're saying are you?

Packie: I'm not saying anything. The doctors said Pathos and his gang got to him. But the hockey stick MAY suggest a certain Canadian gang is back in town. 

Gerald: f*ck! This is just what we needed. More competition.

Packie: I'm headed over to yours now. We'll get some of the boys together and find a way to hit Pathos.


We continue with:


A] Packie, driving to his Ma's house in Dukes.

B] Niko, doing what he do

C] Playboy X, arriving at Elizabeta's holdout in The Meat Quarter

D] Brucie, getting treated by Cacey

Edited by ArmyRaidFail404

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4 hours ago, ArmyRaidFail404 said:

C] Playboy X, arriving at Elizabeta's holdout in The Meat Quarter

Playboy in his distinctive, trustworthy Patriot happens to be tailed the entire way by a pair of Pathos' lackeys. When he parks, they park behind him, although they appear to be more interested in the car than its owner. The ever-so-unsuspecting Playboy makes his way to the correct apartment, and although he's feeling a bit pissed, he knows better than to barge right in. Thus, a few polite knocks later, Elizabeta allows him inside. She's lying on the couch eating grapes like some kinda queen, and the ever trustworthy Marta is cleaning up the place, seemingly ignoring Playboy's existence completely.


Playboy: Liz, we gotta discuss som-

Elizabeta: Darling, what's cracking? You liked the stripper I sent you? You in the mood for some more maybe?

Playboy: Actually, speaking of that-

Elizabeta: Or is it the usual? Sorry, Playboy, but it's a bit tough to deal any sh*t right now with Pathos' boys roaming about.

Playboy: No, I just-

Elizabeta: And before you ask, no, I ain't in the car business. Liz Torres hates cars, all loud and polluting and sh*t. You gotta look for new leads if you want your X-Type or whatever back.

Playboy: The Z-Type. Now to my point-

Elizabeta: Do I have to remind you what happened to the last man who tried correcting me?

Playboy: NO! And I'm tired of you sending your bitches to my crib when I'm by myself. I need some privacy sometimes, goddamn!


He hits his fist on the table for emphasis.


Elizabeta: I should make a decorative carving of your skull for touching my furniture like that, TREY STEWART!

Playboy: I don't go by that name anymore, Liz. And back to the real sh*t-

Elizabeta: What you complaining for, fool? Don't appreciate the female beauty anymore or what? 'Cause I'm footing the bill here. You getting all the privilege and none of the expenses, and you wanna back out anyway? Hmmm, maybe I should take you to the back room, get your attitude about us ladies sorted out...

Playboy: No, I ain't lost my appreciation or none of that sh*t. I just want peace and quiet for once!

Elizabeta: You the only fool I can trust to keep my girls safe when I can't.


Meanwhile outside, we cut to the pair of Pathos' employees, to put it nicely, named Clayton and Darnell. They continue to sit in their somewhat badly maintained Primo, just staring at the back of the parked Patriot like it's the most interesting thing in the world.


Clayton: Why ain't we jacking this thing already?

Darnell: Playboy's gotta have all sorts of trackers on it, it's his personal vehicle. We just gotta worry about observing his moves, in case he has another hidden garage somewhere.

Clayton: This don't look like no garage.

Darnell: I ain't defying the boss' order. I heard Pathos had to put some guys out of their misery for much less when he was still beginning.

Clayton: What I heard was that he tried selling his CD at a street corner and got beaten up by haters a bunch of times.

Darnell: Go on, remind him of that sh*t if you want. I got bigger fish to fry, like finding a buyer for that damn Z-Type that keeps sitting around being disused.

Clayton: The Albanians already made an offer, do I gotta keep reminding you?

Darnell: A pesky 15,000? I only needed 15 seconds to do an Eyefind search and learn that it's a special kinda hunk of metal. 10 million is the starting price.

Clayton: Pathos thinks there's a single person in LC who'd spend that much to get some old sh*tty car and all the heat that comes from it?

Darnell: We ain't confined to just LC if it comes to that. There's gotta be some Arab or Chinese fella out there, overseas, who'll take it off our backs for even more than that.

Clayton: I'ma believe it when I see it. What about that most recent raid? On that roid junkie's garage?

Darnell: The boys got at least 5 cars outta that, but I don't think they was anything special. Guy was a cheapskate. And they didn't even make sure he was dead when they left.

Clayton: A hockey stick up the ass oughta be lethal sooner or later.

Darnell: I'll believe that sh*t when I see the obituary.


Back inside, the argument is still at full force. Playboy's initial suggestion (Brucie, whose condition he happens to not know about) has fallen on deaf ears, but there's more where that came from.


Playboy: Why not Niko? He's never set me up. Except the 30 or so times I appeared as a bad guy in this story, but that's all good, I've owned up for it, ain't got a single problem with him anymore.

Elizabeta: Watch yourself now, X, I keep hearing some people have really taken offense to that word.

Playboy: Which word? Bad guy? Problem?

Elizabeta: "Never". That Equal Rights Group made some good points about why you shouldn't say it.

Playboy: For the love of Christ Almighty-

Elizabeta: Kidding! Well, not about the ERG, their cause was still real. But do I look like I give a sh*t about what they say?

Playboy: No. Back to the point, why not Niko? Or - that Irish friend of his, he's got a real family full of thugs ready to wreck a home invader's sh*t-

Elizabeta: No, no, no! I don't go way back with 'em enough! Packie maybe, but his cop brother I don't trust.

Playboy: That's a shame, 'cause now I've made a trip across the island for basically nothing.

Elizabeta: Not nothing! Why don't you extend this lil' babysitting job a bit? I need to be outta town for a bit, so Rita needs to stay at yours for another week.

Playboy: ...Seriously?

Elizabeta: Take the money already, idiot! You two not getting along or what?

Playboy: I think she knows her rights a bit too well, just chewed me out for sexism before I left.

Elizabeta: You want someone who don't speak English at all? Knows nothing about anything outside of stripping and slavery? *takes a look at Marta's direction* Well too bad, you ain't getting it.

Playboy: I figured you were gonna say that.

Elizabeta: What's my girl up to now, anyway? Entertaining your homies?

Playboy: No, just watching some random web flick. I ain't got any of my homies around, they gotta earn the right to my strippers anyway.

Elizabeta: She all alone in your home?!

Playboy: That's what I-

Elizabeta: GET YOUR ASS BACK THERE! When I pay you for babysitting, it means you don't leave them out in the open to get kidnapped!

Playboy: Is that even a present danger?

Elizabeta: What do you think, you imbecile? Now GO!


Playboy runs out of the door while Liz pummels him with grapes on the way out. Silence falls, until finally Marta stops cleaning and opens her mouth for once.


Marta: What does "Playboy" stand for anyway?

Elizabeta: Something like "untrustworthy prick" if you ask me right now.


What happens next?


1) Cut to Niko, trying to find out how Pathos gained all his power.

2) Cut to Playboy, racing back to his apartment only to be stopped by cops for multiple traffic infractions.

3) Cut to Packie at his Ma's house, gathering everyone together for a strike against Pathos.

4) Cut to Pathos himself, planning terrible things in his lair no doubt.

5) Stay with Elizabeta, who gains another, unexpected guest soon after Playboy's gone.

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5) Stay with Elizabeta, who gains another, unexpected guest soon after Playboy's gone.


It wasn't 10 minutes until Elizabeta got her next visitor, and honestly this one really was unexpected. 

Elizabeta nearly blew the guys head off as she jerked her gun forward.


Elizabeta: What? Who are you, puta?

Delager: Hey, relax. You can call me Delager. I just have a message from my boss.


Elizabeta didn't budge.


Elizabeta: Oh yeah? Am I gonna get a business proposal or something? Or a little congratulation note from Pathos on me losing half my turf?!

Delager: Fortunately, I have no affiliation with Pathos. His sudden takeover of the city has been a shock to everyone, especially my employer - who usually knows just about everything before it even happens.


Elizabeta puts down her gun. The cooperation from someone seemingly powerful might be enough to put her back on top in Bohan. 


Elizabeta, pointing to her gun: This is a matter of trust. Who you working for? Ancelotti? The McRearys?

Delager: Oh, unfortunately her name won't be available yet. I'll have to do for now.

Elizabeta:...The f*ck did I just say?

Delager: You said you putting your gun down is a matter of trust. So I guess this might have to do? I'm going to put down *my* gun.


Delager kneels down, and very slowly pulls out his gun and puts it on the floor. The movement elicits some response from the paranoid Elizabeta, but it's coldly welcome as is usual with her.


Delager: You're the favourite to win here. But we need you to do something for us.

Elizabeta, sneering: A favour?

Delager: Not necessarily. We need you to relocate..

Elizabeta: What?

Delager: As long as you're here in Liberty, without so much as a bodyguard or anything, you're not safe. Pathos is looking to off you real soon.

Elizabeta: Haha! Bring it! I'm not moving!

Delager: I thought you might say that. So we located a certain 'D', for you.

Elizabeta: My 'D'??

Delager: The one and same. We can bring him to you, as long as where you agree to be is in Baltimore. Far from here.


A] Elizabeta accepts this proposal

B] Elizabeta declines.

C] Cut to D'elroy, being watched by Milner's men

D] Cut to Rita, back in Playboy's apartment

E] Cut to Packie and Gerald with the rest of the Irish-American mob

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1 hour ago, ArmyRaidFail404 said:

A] Elizabeta accepts this proposal

...but not without a conflict.


Elizabeta: So let me get this straight, your boys are gonna do something about Pathos if I take up your offer and pack my bags?

Delager: That'll be the plan, provided we-

Elizabeta: One big problem there, cowboy! Even if I get my 'D' back and get to chill the f*ck out at Baltimore while Pathos gets offed, I can kiss my street cred goodbye if someone finds out!

Delager: My men could always pose as yours. And we could make up a credible excuse for your move that nobody will question.

Elizabeta: *sigh* It still doesn't beat the satisfaction of discharging a gun in that sh*tty rapper's face by myself.

Delager: I understand it doesn't, but it'll do you no good trying to even get anywhere close to Pathos. He's become unhinged in these past months.

Elizabeta: What do you have to gain from my prolonged existence again? I ain't just some dumb bitch who'll say yes to an obviously sus idea.

Delager: I'm sorry, I haven't been authorized to tell you that either.

Elizabeta: Agency bullcrap no doubt. I'm really, really tired of your kind, governmental or not...


She raises her gun again for a moment - but just a moment, before relaxing once more.


Elizabeta: But to be fair, I've been getting bored with Liberty City anyway. And to get to spend some time with D, oh, the joy...

Delager: It's settled then. We'll arrange a truck to move your supplies outta here in a couple of days. Mr. D will be joining you around the same time.

Elizabeta: You sure know where a girl's sweet spot is. *giggles* But every man in this house will overstay his welcome at some point, and right now, that includes you. I'm not in the mood for more of your secrecy. Be gone!

Delager: ...Right you are, miss. *to earpiece* She accepted the deal, get ready to secure the target.


We cut to a Russian diner somewhere in the depths of Hove Beach, where D'elroy is relaxing in his own way, feasting on boersch soup. He's not seen Niko for the longest time and is getting kinda bored of just sitting around with nothing to do - even street vigilantism doesn't have the bite to it that it used to. On the plus side, ever since he faded out of Niko's life, D'arcy hasn't been around to screw with his mind either. So maybe this'll do for now. Having finished his meal, D'elroy pays his bill like a good citizen, thanks the staff for the meal and walks out into the street, followed by two sketchy men that just received the go-ahead from their commander.


D'elroy begins to walk towards the amusement park when one of the men grabs his shoulder.


Goon 1: Hey, man, you got a smoke?

D'elroy: Nah, I'm done with that sh*t.

Goon 2 (on the other side): What about gum?

D'elroy: What is this, a beggar gang? The likes of you need to get a job, and fast-


Goon 1 puts a bag over his head while he's focused on Goon 2, just as a black Cognoscenti - an unusual sight in this part of town - pulls up right next to them. D'elroy starts swinging and kicking right away, but aside from the fact the goons have a one-man advantage on him, they're dangerously competent at keeping him contained.


D'elroy (muffled): HELP! I've done nothing wrong!

Goon 2: Technically you have, asshole. By ignoring a very important person for the longest time.


He gets stuffed in the backseat, while the apathetic pedestrians in the vicinity continue to walk on by. The goons hop in the car, which floors it out of the area within seconds, not even waiting for the goons to close the doors.


D'elroy (still muffled): Are you Niko's friends? We haven't fallen out, I swear. We just haven't seen each other much lately, there's been no reason-

Goon 1: Quiet already, moron. Don't you recall any others that might miss you a lot?

D'elroy (starting to remember): Oh, f*ck my life.


The car accelerates away from the camera, which makes for a nice transition to a different scene.


1) Cut to Playboy X.

2) Cut to Niko.

3) Cut to Packie and Gerald at Dukes.

4) Cut to Delager, doing whatever he might be doing now.

5) Cut to some Pathos goons scoping out Playboy X's apartment.

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Posted (edited)

3) Cut to Packie and Gerald at Dukes.


We enter the McReary household, where Packie and Gerald are currently strapping up to stick it to Pathos. Donning bandanas, belts and several layers of armour, the two brothers look more like they're preparing to invade a small country. Uzis, assault rifles, sticky bombs, and a sh*t ton of ammo have all been laid out on the coffee table. Gerald is squirming, attempting to squeeze into some tight-fitting pants. He gives up, tossing the pair to the side.


Gerald: F*ck it. I guess only five pairs of bulletproof pants'll do.

Packie: Gained some pounds, huh, Gerald?

Gerald: Makes sense. It's been a while since I've seen some action, after all.

Packie: Is that why Ma ain't never seen any grandchildren from you?

Gerald: Oh ha ha. Watch your language, Patrick. You just said the n-word. What would Ma say to that?

Packie: Screw you.


Gerald's phone beeps, and he struggles to slip it out of his jumble of pants pockets.


Gerald: That must be Gordon, texting me Pathos' last known location. You got everything you need?

Packie, loading up an SMG: I'm all good here.

Gerald: All right. Car's out back. Let's get these n******.


We cut to some of Pathos' goons scoping out Playboy's apartment. One of them, named Al, is out by the front of the building watching out for Playboy's return. The other two, Jarvis and Enrico, are attempting to enter through the deck up top, using the rooftops nearby to gain access. As the two reach the vacant deck, they notice some hot-dogs on the grill. They speak in whispers.


Jarvis: Ooh, something smells real good. Sauce me a couple buns, Rico.


Enrico walks right in through the penthouse's back door, on the lookout for some hot-dog buns, when he is immediately spotted by a naked Rita, who had paused her history flick and now held a pistol in her hand.


Rita: I knew I heard a voice! Sh*t, that pig ass Playboy ain't good company, and he sure as sh*t ain't worth paying no protection if he's letting a couple goons like you snoop!

Enrico, putting his hands up: Uuuh, I found the buns, J.

Rita: I been grilling hard for those hot dogs. You ain't touchin' my dogs!

Jarvis, walking in: Then I'll be more than happy to touch your puppies, baby. Sh*t, ain't you a hot piece of ass?

Rita: Who are you clowns?

Jarvis: The name's Jarvis, baby. He's Rico. What do ya say we just all chill out, have some hot dogs by the jacuzzi over there. We'll do all sorts of talking, you feel?

Rita: Wow, you are already worse than the dudes I dance for on the daily. Look, I won't say nothing, if you guys just leave right now, no fuss. Heck, I might even let you take one of Playboy's cars if I'm feeling generous.

Jarvis: Well, sweetie, we come all the way out here, all that climbing just to get up to this fancy penthouse. I mean, we certainly came for a car, but I think we deserve just a little more something-something now, don't you think?

Rita: Man, I am so not in the mood to be handled like a toy. Look, I gave you an offer, just take it.

Jarvis: *sigh* But Enrico, man, haven't you been blue ballin' for like, a decade?

Enrico: Two weeks, fool.

Rita: How about I throw in a hot dog too. The two of you can share on your way back to Pathos.

Jarvis: Hell yeah, I'll even let you have my own hot dog.

Rita: ...

Jarvis: ...T-the one in my pants...

Rita: ...

Jarvis: Ugh, you know what, fine. We'll take the car. Bitch.

Rita: Keys to Playboy's car are on the kitchen counter. I think it's parked in that underground lot in Lancaster? Have a safe trip.


Jarvis takes the keys from the counter. It's a few more minutes before the hot dogs are ready. Rita wraps one up and hands it to the two goons, never taking her gun off of them as they walk to the elevator. Rita waves Jarvis and Enrico off as they descend to the ground floor.


1. We skip ahead to Jarvis and Enrico, inside the underground parking lot, locating Playboy's car using the keys.

2. We cut to Packie and Gerald again, crouched at Pathos' last known location, brothers ready to strike.

3. We cut to Elizabeta, receiving her D-elivery as she takes off to Baltimore.

4. We cut to Playboy, who finally returns to his penthouse, the slow bastard.


Edit: I'm loving all the callbacks. It's been literal years since I've read some of these names. 😄

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, The_Anti-tragedy said:

4. We cut to Playboy, who finally returns to his penthouse, the slow bastard.

Playboy's parking is haphazard, but he at least manages to avoid hitting any lamp posts this time. It was lucky for Jarvis and Enrico that he took as long as he did, because they only left the apartment less than a minute ago. Al observes Playboy running inside the building and drives away, his work done as well.


Playboy stumbles out of the elevator right into the smell of freshly grilled hot dogs. Sadly no fish though.


Rita: Oh, you came. Heh, I haven't had much chances to say that to you. I saved some of these for you in any case.

Playboy: Why is there such a bad vibe about this place? And why is one hot dog clearly missing?

Rita: When isn't there a bad vibe around you, Playboy X? In any case, some guys came over, took the scenic route as well. Aside from the hot dog, you may find that the keys to some car of yours are also gone.

Playboy: What? You had a gun and let them rob you blind? What a bitch!

Rita: That still isn't my name, you chauvinistic pig. Also, they kinda had an advantage in numbers, and the choices were the car and me, or the car and a hot dog.

Playboy: They chose a hot dog over you?

Rita: I mean, it took some negotiation, but that they did in the end. I hope they were good boys about it and shared it like they said.

Playboy: F*ck me, this Pathos sh*t is getting outta hand and fast. Which car did they take anyway?

Rita: Do I look like I know the names of cars?

Playboy: Admittedly you don't, but I feel like that's some kinda bait, so that you could call me sexist again.

Rita: I didn't even think of it that way, but indeed you're sexist for assuming that.

Playboy: But which garage is it from?

Rita: Lancaster, I guess? If we're lucky, it was one of the sh*ttier ones.

Playboy: No, it's where I keep all the best stuff to avoid heat...

Rita: Sucks to be you, then. But worry not, I have a pleasant surprise for you. Liz Torres said I would need to-

Playboy: Stay another week. So I've heard.

Rita: No, it's a month, she says some people set up a Baltimore apartment for her and she's staying there for the time being. So I guess I'm yours for 30 more happy days.

Playboy: Cut me a f*cking break, bitch! Well, if you're staying that long, can you at least help ol' X out with this Pathos problem? I'd call Niko, but he seems to be having a sarcastic prick phase.

Rita: Suppose I can. His henchmen had terrible wits anyway, left a real bad taste in my mouth.

Playboy: Hopefully that was the only taste, knowing you. I'ma draw us a plan here once I find my crayons.


Ten minutes pass, and all Playboy seems to have is a few random scribbles here and there on the Liberty City map, nothing conclusive though. Rita is still naked and munches on a hot dog while looking over his shoulder.


Rita: You don't know what you're doing, do you?

Playboy: It's bullsh*t! I just can't get a grip on- you know what, why don't you get dressed so I can perhaps concentrate?

Rita: I can't.

Playboy: You...can't? You mean you don't know where the wardrobe is?

Rita: No, I just didn't bring any clothes with me.

Playboy: You - what.

Rita: I thought it was gonna be just a few nights. Ain't nobody gonna pack a suitcase full of stuff for a stay that short.

Playboy: So now you're essentially stuck here, butt naked 24 f*cking 7.

Rita: Not stuck, I think I can still roam around just fine. The only issue might be the decency police out on the streets who may have something to say about that.

Playboy: I'm not gonna comment. But in any case, one idea I had for tipping the scales is if I put a bomb in one of my disposable whips, and conveniently let them steal it. One phonecall later, some Pathos goons are gonna eat dirt and he'll know I mean business.

Rita: Wouldn't he just retaliate and make your life even more miserable?

Playboy: See if I care. I ain't no bitch, I gotta strike back soon enough. Else they'll keep coming.

Rita: Where are you planning on getting that bomb?

Playboy: I know just the boys for the job. Lemme make a quick call.


Cut to Packie and Gerald, waiting in position near a spot where Gordon had managed to track Pathos down. It happens to be a junkyard in Dukes, where they're forced to crouch down in the midst of garbage to stay out of sight. At least it's definitely Pathos down there on open ground, speaking to a miscellaneous group of outlaws loyal to his cause, or at least that's how they look.


Pathos: We gotta step up our sh*t from this point forward, ladies. Pathos been prowling the news sites and caught a nasty surprise. That Broker raid was an embarrassment, the owner survived and the cars was barely good enough for scrap. Either we get our momentum back, or we get eaten alive, that's the rules of the concrete jungle, even Pathos can't change that sh*t. That chump Playboy X at least is a gift that still keeps giving, but he ain't good enough by himself, no, son. Next target for us is gonna be right inside our own turf. Guy named Stevie runs some sorta chop shop over in Chase Point. Now don't be fooled by the small size of that joint, Pathos can guarantee there's more money in there than you would think-

Goon: Uh, Pathos?

Pathos: What you getting at, nigga? Speaking outta turn like that, did yo' mommy never teach you manners?

Goon: It's just that, shouldn't we be taking our stolen cars there instead? I hear Stevie pays good buck for exactly that.

Pathos: Have you turned idiot, boy? Pathos ain't in this sh*t for peace and harmony and all that sh*t! It's about dominance, and to do that, we bump off that Stevie and ship our cars off to some more wealthy buyers. As soon as I get them all lined up, that is. Y'all worry about following my orders and I worry about the real sh*t, that's the hierarchy here.


Gerry: Damn, Stevie's on his list too? Better take him out fast.

Packie: Are you not at all interested in what made him turn into this?

Gerry: I'm sure some newspaper'll pick up the story and tell us all about the highs and lows of his life. But that post mortem sh*t is for much later, now we worry about the inevitable shootout that will come.


Packie gets his SMG ready, while Gerry has the scope of his assault rifle pointed right about where he wants it, in Pathos' center body. One good burst should be all it takes to end that gang's reign of terror, the rest would eventually scatter without a charismatic leader to rally behind.



Gerry nearly jumps as Packie's phone pumps out decibels like it's the end of the world. Packie stumbles over trying to hang up, and accidentally fires his gun, losing grip of it and causing it to fall off and tumble down the pile of garbage. Pathos and his men, who were already alerted by the phone's ringing, start running for cover while Gerry tries to re-orient himself, all of his desperate shots at the crowd missing by a country mile. Some of the men run into a nearby walkway tunnel, others into some more open ground because they're idiots, and Pathos takes a few shots at the McReary brothers with his dual-wielded pistols, only barely missing Packie's head. Gerry gets a clear shot at Pathos while he's retreating for the tunnel, only to then discover his clip ran out. By the time he's done with the reloading, there's nothing of Pathos left in his sights, except maybe sweat and footprints.


Gerry: DAMN! What the f*ck was all that about? If it was one of your booty calls, I'll snap your goddamn neck, Patrick!

Packie: Just- ju-just a second, bro. No booty call, thank god. Just Playboy X.

Gerry: I'll wreck every last one of that cunt's cars and force him to watch!

Packie (picking up the call): Let's see what he has to say first... yo, Playboy.

Playboy: At last! What took you so long, McReary? I was gonna ask if you had any bombs for me to end Pathos' carjacking streak.

Packie: I could give you a truthful answer, but it'd be so damn ironic you wouldn't believe it.

Playboy: But do you have bombs or not? That's all I wanted to-

Gerry (snatching the phone): Listen, you goddamn prick, we had a clean shot on Pathos himself, and you just blew it! Now he's more careful and we'll never have another window like this, so thanks a f*cking bunch!

Playboy: Pathos himself? ...ugh, I guess this is an appropriate time to say "f*ck me sideways".

Packie: Good to know I'm not the one bearing the responsibility anymore...

Gerry: Take that back. Half his fault, half yours for not knowing when to put that overpriced piece of technological mumbo-jumbo to sleep mode!

Packie: But what if- no, nevermind, I'm not arguing with you. It might just end with my head being added to these junk piles.

Gerry: You had the right idea there. Now go get your gun and find your own way back home. I don't wanna be in the same car with you.

Packie: Just great...

Playboy: Hey, Patrick! You still on the line?

Packie: Oh, yeah, damn. Here I am indeed.

Playboy: That bomb?

Packie: You know what, we'd better coordinate our efforts together from this point on. There's only gonna be more chaos if we try and make our separate moves on Pathos.

Playboy: I didn't ask for that lecture, but if you want him gone as bad as I do, come over to my crib. I'll save a hot dog for you, and some beer.

Packie: Thanks, but let's leave the beer out. I was, uh, told not to drink. Head injury reasons and all that.


Packie hangs up, carefully descends to ground level to get his gun, and hails a cab over to North Holland, making for another smooth scene transition.


1) Cut to Gerry, heading home while still in a fit of rage.

2) Cut to Pathos, who is understandably shocked following the recent events.

3) Cut to Playboy and Rita, still engaged in banter when Packie shows up.

4) Cut to Niko doing his own independent research on Pathos' gang.

5) Cut to Elizabeta receiving her juicy d'elivery.

Edited by Carbonox

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4) Cut to Niko


Niko is in his Middle East Apartment. Best to outside the usual gang influence he thought, especially as Pathos was essentially just asking for the whole city to become embroiled in a gang war with his very emergence. The archives on the Liberty Tree didn't help much. There was no mention of any 'Pathos' being arrested, or any hits that may have happened that the police thought was his work, that is until a major drug stash in Grand Boulevard was captured, which all that says is "a new gang appears to be in town." Just then, the elevator dinged. It was Roman.


Roman: Hey, cousin! What are you doing here? Don't you usually stay in Northwood these days?

Niko: With all these Pathos goons running around, a gang war about to erupt and not to mention an unhinged Dwayne on the streets..Northwood is just the worst place to be right now if you need to get some sleep.

Roman: I feel you cousin. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to go play Arachnid-Boy now.

Niko: Fine. Don't let me stop you.


Niko scrolled through the rest of the articles. Pathos was first found to be the leader of this new gang when a dock in BOABO was unsuccessfully raided. The conflict between The Lost MC and Pathos' still unnamed gang left some injured goons behind it seemed. They gave up some info, before they mysteriously disappeared a few days later.


Niko: Jesus. This is something like one of our supervillain enemies would be doing. Pathos isn't capable of this!

Roman: What do you even know about Pathos? And I mean that in all seriousness.

Niko: *sigh*. He hits cars. That's all Playboy has been able to tell me. But drug stashes? Shipping containers? I mean, maybe the second one is possible but..sh*t man. I can't help but think that there is no way Pathos could have popped out of nowhere on his own.

Roman: Someone's gotta know. Whatever happened to that Ray Bocchino guy?

Niko: Ray? I don't think me and him are on the best of terms, but the Mob? The Mob might know something.


The elevator dinged again. Who's in the elevator?


A] Funnily enough, Ray Boccino

B] Fortuna

C] Dwayne

D] Bernie

E] Luis and Gay Tony

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Posted (edited)

A] Funnily enough, Ray Boccino


The door opened and out walked Ray strutting his stuff all Italian like and holding a silver cane with gems all over it, and wearing a top hat and fully white suit with blue strips down the side


(Niko) Speak of the devil, what do you want asshole?... what the f*ck are you wearing 

(Roman) Oh wow, we were just talking about you

(Ray) Yeah I could tell, my ears were burning up, hotter than my Ma's sh*tty lasagna...

(Niko) That's great and all what's your damn reason for being here

(Ray) Well if you let me finish I was gunna tell you that I have a proposal for you

(Roman) He's not big on marriage, DIE YOU FAT BASTARD

(Ray) Who's a fat bastard?

(Niko) No one, just his game he's playing, what this proposal of yours?

(Ray) Pathos is screwing up my business and I understand you and Phil had a run in with him several years back and now he's currently running a muck in my city

(Niko) Your city?

(Ray) Not literally of course, anyway I want... need your help putting the smug prick back in his place, I don't want him dead just alive so I can torture him

(Unknown) Did someone say torture

Just then Yeager walks in threw the door next to the wine cabinet leaving Niko confused

(Niko) I've never used that door once, what's behind there?

(Yeager) A second set of rooms

(Niko) Huh, Roman did you ever know about that

Roman doesn't answer as he's concentrating on beating the 1st level of Arachnid-Boy

(Niko) Anyway, you want me to kidnap Pathos and bring him to you

(Ray) Correct, and your friend here can help

(Yeager) The name is Frank Yeager, owner of a hotel in Venturas and lover of torturing people 

(Ray) Good you can help me as well

(Niko) Will we get paid

(Ray) Yes, name your price 

Yeager and Niko huddle and after a solid minute come to a conclusion

(Ray) Well, I'm waiting ladies

(Niko) 40 Mil

(Yeager) Each 

(Ray) Done

(Roman) That's seemed too easy

(Niko) Yeah I agree, what's the catch 

(Ray) No catch, I'm made of money


They all agree to Rays shady deal and gear up for the kidnapping

What happens next???


1) Romans console blows up

2) Niko gets a call from Packie 

3) Niko checks out the set of rooms Yeager came from




4) We cut to Arachnid-Boy getting frustrated because he's being controlled by an idiot

5) We cut to Cacey dealing with Brucie

Edited by Corndawg93

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2) Niko gets a call from Packie


The side of Niko's pants started vibrating. It was his phone. Niko looked at the caller ID. It was Packie. Yeager was admiring a heavy shotgun from Niko's hidden armory in the kitchen.


Niko: Hey, Packie.

Packie: Niko. You'll never guess what just happened. Gerald and I were about to assassinate Pathos-

Niko: Pathos! We need him alive!

Packie: What? Why would we do that? 

Niko: Err, the Commission kind of wants him alive. Specifically Ray Boccino.

Packie: Oh him? Well, can you tell him that pretty much all the gangs are looking to whack the son of a bitch?

Niko: It's an $80 million reward, I can't just turn that down.

Packie: I really think you should. Your old buddy Playboy seems to want Pathos, and us in the Irish Mob seem to agree. Gerald's going home to rest but Gordon and Saint Michael are meeting me at Playboy's.

Niko: Hold on, slow down. Yeager and I were just going to go get him. What happened to Pathos?

Packie: Funnily enough Playboy foiled the plot. He called me just as we were going to take the shot.

Niko: Obviously you failed. What I meant was where is Pathos now? 

Packie: I don't know? We had one lead. Gerald thinks Pathos is gonna go fortify somewhere. So the answer is: who knows?

Niko: Aghhhhh! You should have waited. Just you and Gerald? What kind of hit squad is that?

Packie: Hey! We're very competent. It's just that my ringer was up. I wasn't expecting Playboy to call me all of a sudden.


Yeager walked over, sort of concerned at the conversation.


Niko: I'll call you back, Packie.

Packie: Alright, later.

Yeager: What's going on?

Niko: Our $80 million target was just spooked by Packie. We're never going to find him now. 

Yeager: Unless we get lucky?

Niko: I don't even know if we got luck on our side. Packie says all the gangs in Liberty City are starting to work together to take him down.

Yeager: Oh boy. That's going to be a sh*t show.

Niko: What do you mean?

Yeager: What do you think's going to happen once Pathos bites the dust. All that territory. All that money....

Niko: sh*t. That's why the Commision wants Pathos alive. He's their key to getting back into Liberty City turf.

Yeager: Heh. Looks like we got ourselves in an old fashioned gang war, buddy. Or what looks like it'll be one soon enough.

Niko: Regardless, we need to find Pathos before anyone else does. I think I know just who to call.


A] Niko tries to recruit Fortuna

B] Niko tries to recruit Luis

C] Niko gets a call instead

D] Cut to D'elroy, getting transferred to Elizabeta in Baltimore

E] Cut to Packie and Playboy


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Posted (edited)

C] Niko gets a call instead


Niko took his phone out to call someone who might be able to help track down Pathos, he swiped all the way to the L section of his contacts list


(Yeager) You're gunna call Lester aren't you, dude that won't work

(Niko) I have no other choice

Niko goes to press Lesters name but before he can his phone rings

(Yeager) Oh, maybe he know you're calling 

(Niko) It says private number, could be nothing *He answers* Hello?

The other side of the call sounded sketchy like the signal was being interfered with by a mountain


(Unknown) Hey man, I need yo help my man 

(Niko) You keep saying man, this isn't that asshole Manny is it

(Unknown) Nah man it's Pathos, some asshole are trying to kill me, please save me dawg, I have a tonne of money, I'll pay you man, 10 Million sound good

(Niko) Pathos, really, ok then, where are you?

He puts him of speaker

(Pathos) I'm in Vespucci University in Varcity heights man

The call ends

(Yeager) Awesome, that far too easy though

(Niko) I know, that just doesn't happen, I'm gunna call Lester

(Yeager) Still isn't gunna work

(Niko) I don't care, money has a way of talking 

He calls Lester but to no avail, not knowing what to do he decide that going call again but is successful this time

(Niko) Lester?, you there

(Lester) Niko sorry I couldn't pick up the 1st time, I was having flashbacks to the last time we tangled, WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!

(Yeager) We need your help of tracking down a friend of ours

(Niko) His name is Pathos

(Lester) Pay me and I will

(Niko) Done, 10 million sound nice?

(Lester) It does, we have a deal

(Niko) Where is he?

(Lester) At a place called Vespucci University

(Niko) Ok thanks Lest

(Lester) F*ck you, pay me

The call ends they pack up all the gear they need for the kidnapping, go down to Nikos car and turn of the radio and drive off, just then the Weasel news came on


(Mike Whitley) A gang war is Liberty City, what's f*cking new, a gang of assholes led by a wannabe rapper named Pathos is waging war of the streets and after robbing a Canadian sporting store run by Mad Moose Monunties, where the only thing stolen was a series of hockey sticks, we tryed to get a word with the owner but we couldn't understand his stupid Canadian accent, so I'm guessing those Canadian idiots will be wanting his head of silver platter, I'm Mike Whitley Weasal News

(Niko) That's just f*cking great, now the Mad Moose Mounties want him

(Yeager) Why can't anything ever be easy 


With Niko and Yeager approaching the University they wait to check on their surroundings

What happens next???


1) It turns out to be an ambush set up by Pathos 

2) Packie and his crew show up

3) They meet up with Pathos, no ambush in sight

4) The Cops show up




5) We cut to Ray and Phil having a chat about Ray Ma's sh*tty Lasagna 

Edited by Corndawg93

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1) It turns out to be an ambush set up by Pathos


Niko and Yeager entered the main building of the university. It's dark, save for a few bright rooms populated by zombified University students, sustained only by coffee and the small glimmer of hope that that question won't be on the final.


Yeager: Yo, we're armed to the teeth and all these kids here don't care?

Niko: They've got a lot more to worry about than us. You ever actually went to university?

Yeager: Hell yeah I did. We smoked, f*cked and dropped out. Shame that times have changed so much.

Niko: Hey, you hear that?


In the lecture theatre next to them, Niko could hear signs of a struggle. Yeager accompanied him to breach the doors.




The door went down easy enough, and sure enough Pathos was inside. Just standing in the middle of the room.


Niko: Pathos! What the f*ck? I thought you were in trouble?

Pathos: *chuckling* Yeah I'm really struggling here. I don't wanna fail this test here. What do you call it when two fools walk right into the vicinity of their enemy like a bunch of f*cking idiots.

Yeager: *sighing* an ambush.


Niko and Yeager felt the cold steel of pistols against their heads. All. Too. Familiar.


Pathos: Honestly! I can't believe you fell for that!

Yeager: Actually yeah, why did we come here? This was very obviously a trap.

Niko: I don't know. I wanted Pathos before everyone else.

Pathos: Awh, that's cute. But. Now I have you! And with the McReary's aim, your friend Dwayne Forge acting berserker mode and your other allies uncounted for, there's not much left to stop me.

Niko: Screw you, you idiot! Allies unaccounted for...You realise what that actually means, don't you?

Pathos: Eh. I'll deal with that as it happens. *snaps fingers*, Clayton. Darrell. If you will do so kindly?




Yeager woke up in some basement it seemed. He was tied to a chair. Strewn about him were all sorts of 'equipment'. This scene was a bit too familiar. In walked Pathos from the door. He could sense the presence of someone else behind the door, just waiting for their reveal.


Yeager: Pathos, you maniac! f*cking untie me!

Pathos: Haha. Nope.

Yeager: Where am I? Where's Niko?

Pathos: Well.....you're clearly in a basement. I hear those are your speciality? *chuckles*, and err, as for Niko? Well he's clearly not here.

Yeager: ...f*ck you, man.

Pathos: Well he is here. Just in another room. Hey, speaking of which, do you remember when he said his allies were unaccounted for?


Pathos: Well..I was hoping you could kind of fill me in so I could spring a trap for them as well. I can't have my reign over Liberty City's underworld cut short, now can I?

Yeager: I won't say a word.

Pathos: *sigh*. Times like this I wished I could just get what I ask for instead of having to beat it out of people. Ok, come in now!


The figure obviously hiding behind the open door walked into the room. Out of the shadows appeared the man.


Yeager: Oh you got to be sh*tting me. Him?

Harold: Him?

Pathos: Oh sh*t. Guess you guys know each other? Yeager, what did you do the poor man?


Yeager tried to hide a laugh.


Pathos: Well, anyways. According to Craplist, this is the best torturer money could buy, so....have at it. Get that information for me, boy.


Pathos exited the basement. Yeager couldn't help but laugh.


Yeager: Holy sh*t! You? Are supposed to be torturing me?

Harold: Just my f*cking luck. I couldn't break you before? Why couldn't I break you?

Yeager: Cause you're f*cking terrible at your job, dickhead.

Harold: Hey! I've gotten much better at it!

Yeager: I bet you haven't. Hehe.

Harold: That's not FAIR! I'll show you! You ever been waterboarded?


Yeager tries to hold in just a little bit of fear. Maybe he actually got better. Harold picked up a jerry can full of water, and just....threw the can at Yeager. It didn't even hit him.


Yeager: Holy sh*t! You're even more worse at your job than I remember!


We leave this situation to follow:


A] Niko, getting properly tortured in the other room.

B] Playboy, Rita and Packie's Crew.

C] Whatever dumpster of plot progression Dwayne found himself in.

D] D'elroy, still getting transferred to literal hell.

E] Milner's agents outside, preparing to extract Niko.


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