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ClaudeSpeedIV

My Chain Story

Recommended Posts

Corndawg93

2) The cabbie leaves Niko. Then, Niko gets a lift from an unexpected person.

 

(Niko) Hey don't drive off you son of a bitch, f*ck that guy, next time I see him I'm gunna shove his head up his ass

Beep, BEEP!!!

Niko turns around and sees the lead singer of Nickleback standing there

(Chad Kroger) Hey buddy, you need a lift

 

(Niko) *thinking in his head* Great, and I thought The Eagles were bad

 

(Chad) Hey, I'm waiting for an answer

 

(Niko) Arrrr, fine

Niko gets on Nicklebacks bus

(Chad) Where you headed

 

(Niko) Tierra Robada

 

(Chad) Cool, we headed that way anyway

 

(Niko) Thanks

The bus heads on its way to Tierra Robada

(Chad) So what's in T.R

 

(Niko) A small cottage, my friends are headed that way

 

(Chad) How'd you end up on the side of the road

 

(Niko) I insulted the cabbies taste in music

 

(Chad) Who was he a fan of?

 

(Niko) The Eagle, they suck!!!

What happens next???

1) Nickleback chuck Niko out of the side of the bus cause they like the Eagles

2) Niko goes of a rant on how much he hates the Eagles

3) The Bus Breaks down

4) Chad starts watching The 1st season of Digimon on his laptop

5) Niko gets a call from Packie

Edited by Corndog93

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Carbonox

1) Nickleback chuck Niko out of the side of the bus cause they like the Eagles

Chad: What?! HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THE EAGLES?!

Niko: Oh sh*t...

Chad: We'll toss you right out of the bus, but first, you get to enjoy something we've personally arranged for Eagles haters. OK, band, let's get started.

 

Nickelback begin to play a cover of "Get Over It", very much to Niko's dismay.

 

Chad: Get over it! Get over it! All this whinin', cryin', and bitchin' a fit, get over it! Get over it!

Niko: F*CK NO!

 

Immediately after the chorus, the band stops playing and everyone grabs Niko from different body parts, throwing him off the moving bus. He proceeds to hit his head on a traffic sign for more pain.

 

Niko: MOTHERF*CKERS! Just so you know, I don't like your music either!

 

He hopes all of Nickelback heard that, because that was just poor treatment right there. Oh well, at least he has got a little closer to his destination. He starts walking along the side of the highway, lifting his thumb up with the hopes of a car - preferably driven by a guy with no musical preferences at all - would pick him up. To add insult to injury, it then begins to rain.

 

Niko: Just my luck. JUST - MY - F*CKING - LUCK.

 

Pretty soon, his clothes are all soaked and he's feeling cold, not just because of the moist, but because of the wind blowing right into his face. One car, which has 4 teenagers in it playing sh*tty rap music at a loud volume, passes him, with all teenagers laughing and pointing fingers at him. The next car is even worse - it's a minivan driven by a stereotypical fat American family. The mom, who is on the passenger's seat, chucks an empty Sprunk can out of the window and successfully hits Niko right in the head. From the backseat, a "You hit him! Cool, Mommy!" yell is heard - or, in Niko's opinion, it was more of an ear-piercing shriek.

 

He walks and walks and walks and walks, before finally, a car pulls over to the side of the road to pick him up. Except - wait, no. It was just a redneck whose tire popped. Niko tries asking him for a ride, only to get a shotgun pointed at his face. Niko gets the sign and continues walking.

 

Then, suddenly, a big black van pulls over, directly in front of Niko. He gets his hopes up for a second, and sure enough, a bunch of men get out, all of them looking like they're focusing on Niko. Except that they don't look very friendly. Sure enough, they run right at him, and one proceeds to hit him with a baton, knocking him out instantly.

 

When Niko wakes up, he quickly figures out that he's in the back of the van, and it's moving - the only problem is, he has no idea where it is. The van keeps on shaking though, which suggests they're driving on some kind of a dirt road, but rural areas are full of them. Eventually, Niko realizes he has been tied up, and there are men wearing sunglasses on both sides of him, looking emotionless. It doesn't take much for Niko to understand he's been kidnapped. There's a person sitting on the front seat, chatting with the driver, and for a second Niko thinks they look rather familiar.

 

Who is responsible for the kidnapping?

 

1) ETTVSO.

2) Equal Rights Group.

3) Strip Mafia.

4) New Zealander Kiwis.

5) Natasha.

Edited by Carbonox

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The_Anti-tragedy

1) ETTVSO

 

Niko notices his mouth is free, taking advantage of the circumstance.

 

Niko: Where the f*ck am I?

Agent, named Danny: That's none of your business, kid.

Niko: What do you mean "kid"? You look 20.

Danny: Who forgot to gag this f*cking Polack?

Agent, named Damien: Don't look at me, man. By the way, the guy's a Serb.

Niko: Why'd you kidnap me, are you ETTVSO or not?

Danny: None of your damn business.

Damien: Hey "Kota", the dude's awake!

 

The person in the passenger's seat turns her head, revealing the face of Dakota Carrington.

 

Niko: Dakota f*cking Carrington! I knew you were involved with this as soon as I knew these guys were ETTVSO.

Dakota: Shut the hell up, Bellic. We're not here to kill you. We need your assistance.

Niko: Then why is this guy over here telling me it's not my business?

Dakota: Danny, you idiot.

Danny: Blame Damien, he forgot to gag this guy. I wouldn't be at fault here if the Serb hadn't spoke.

Dakota: Danny, I don't think you understand what the mission is. We need his help.

Danny: Oh... you could've f*cking told me.

Damien: Dude, Niko, was it? We need your help.

Niko: Shoot.

Dakota: We need your intel on the location of a target we've been trying to tail.

Niko: Any description of this target?

Damien: All I know is he got pissed off at me for not liking the Eagles. I didn't dis him or nothing.

Niko: sh*t. I got kicked out of my cab by the same guy.

Dakota: That's handy.

Niko: What do you need from him?

Dakota: Well, he's a lot more psycho than you may think.

Niko: I don't know how much more he could get.

Dakota: He destroyed two of our labs in Venturas and burned down a line of warehouses. All from his love for the Eagles.

Niko: sh*t, sounds serious. He was giving me and my friends a ride, driving next to Yeager. I bashed on the Eagles weeks before and then he kicked me out when he finally recognized me. They're on their way to Tierra Robada to get to this cottage in which Chester's friend lived.

Dakota: Any specifics on the location?

Niko: Auerbach St., I think.

Dakota: Good. Thanks for the info, Niko.

Niko: Also, can you give me a lift to Tierra Robada, as we're all headed there anyway?

Dakota: Yeah, sure. Our friend, David here wouldn't mind bringing you back to your friends, wouldn't you, David?

David: *murmur* Whatever.

 

Dakota grabs David by his collar and yanks him, making David steer the van into a barrier before getting back on track.

 

Dakota: What was that, David?

David: Uh, yes. That is affirmative.

Dakota: I swear I'll knock your lights out, you f*cking wimp, if you dare disobey me again.

David: But you used to hate that Bellic guy!

Dakota: I'm telling you, we've been cool since the year started. No more false words coming out of your mouth or you're getting it tonight.

David: Why, yes. I'd deserve every second of it.

 

Niko turns to Damien, who is visibly stoned out of his mind.

 

Niko: What's up with that driver?

Damien: Eh, David and Dakota have this weird relationship. Something to do with BSSDBM or some sh*t? Meanwhile, Danny and I are soulmates. We're, like, the two stooges.

Danny: Ah, shut up.

Damien: He f*cking digs me, man. I'm telling you.

Niko: Hey, Danny. Can you whack me out with that baton again?

 

Who do we follow?

1. Yeager and his passengers in the Schafter.

2. The Eagles cabbie with his passengers in his cab.

3. We continue following the ETTVSO van.

4. Chad Kroeger and the rest of Nickelback in their tour bus.

Edited by The_Anti-tragedy

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Corndawg93

3. We continue following the ETTVSO van.

 

(Niko) Hey I understand we have history but givin the situation, I don't see the point with these restraints

 

(Damian) I dunno, how do we know your not gunna kill us all

 

(Niko) Cause I have no reason to, your not trying to kill me

 

(Danny) Hey Kota, should I release Niko from his restraints

 

(Dekota) Umm.... No, but might just kill us

 

(Niko) Didn't you hear me, I have no reason to do so, also what's stopping me from going red army in these restraints

 

(Dekota) He's got a point there.... Release him

 

(Damian) You sure???

 

(Dekota) YES!!! Do it

Danny cuts Nikos restraints and Nikos hand are now free and the 1st thing he does is reach for his phone in his pocket and calls Packie

(Niko) He should be awake by now

Ring ring, ring ring

(Niko) Cmon Packie pick up

Ring ring, ring ring

The call ends

(Niko) That doesn't make sence, he should be awake, it's the next page, I know, what's Lester doing?

Niko calls Lester

(Lester) Hey Niko

 

(Niko) Lest, thank god you picked up

 

(Lester) What's up

 

(Niko) Can you trace Packies phone for me

 

(Lester) Ok..... Ok he's in a Las Vantures county jail

 

(Niko) Really, what the hell did he do

 

(Lester) No clue

The call ends and the van is just 10 miles outside of T.R

(Niko) After you drop me off and I kill that Eagles loving bastard, I need you's to head back to L.V and bring Packie here

(David) Ok cool

What Happens Next???

1) They arrive and there is the shafter and cabbie with the cabbie waiting outside of his cab waiting to get paid

2) The Van breaks down

3) Dekotas phone rings and it's not good

4) A series of Digimon attack the van (sorry but I've been watching a little too much of it as of late)

5) An news report on the radio catches there attention

Edited by Corndog93

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Carbonox

1) They arrive and there is the shafter and cabbie with the cabbie waiting outside of his cab waiting to get payed

The van proceeds to turn onto an even bumpier and narrower dirt road that leads deep into the woods. After what seems like a forever-lasting drive, they arrive at a clearing where the lonely cottage lays, next to a river. The Schafter and Cabbie are parked outside already, and everyone has gotten out of their cars. When they spot the van, Yeager quickly points his gun at it. Dakota informs Niko, who then quickly gets out.

 

Niko: It's OK, Yeager, they were transporting me!

Yeager: Well, thank f*ck. I sure as hell didn't want us to be found this early... wait, are those ETTVSO?

Dakota: Wow, you recognize us that well even though I only met you once?

Yeager: What can I say, Niko's old enemy is my enemy as well...

Dakota: I would appreciate you dropping that tone. We're actually helping you in a lot of ways. We can pick up Packie too.

Chester: That would be awesome, little lady.

Dakota: Now, Niko, remember our deal?

 

The cabbie, after hearing the abbreviation ETTVSO, is getting nervous, and tries to hide it somehow. He coughs and speaks up.

 

Cabbie: So, I think it's time for you to pay the trip.

Chester: Don't see why. You dumped 2 passengers, one intentionally, and drove us all nuts back there.

Cabbie: Hey, it's not my fault his taste in music is rotten.

Niko: Let's try not to discuss music for once.

Dwayne: Eh, guys, I don't get the fuss anyway. The Eagles are goddamn overrated in my opinion, and if the cabbie likes them, fine, but that doesn't entitle him to---

Cabbie: HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THE EAGLES?!

Niko: Oh god, here we go again...

Cabbie: SO MANY BLASPHEMERS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YOU WILL ALL DIE!

 

He grabs Roman, who was unlucky enough to be standing closest to him, and starts backing up towards the cottage. Yeager, Dwayne and Chester draw out their guns. David, the van's driver, gestures that he'd like to run that son of a bitch over.

 

Niko: No unnecessary risks! We must protect my cousin!

Roman: SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!

Cabbie: I will kill this fat f*ck if anyone follows me into this building!

 

He gets inside and slams the door shut. Niko is looking angry as hell.

 

Dwayne: We can't let this one f*cking guy take over our entire hiding place.

Niko: Yeah? How the f*ck are we gonna take him out without hurting Roman?

Yeager: We'll think of something. ETTVSO guys, you got a solution?

David: Eh, we're professionals, but even we have our limits. And we have to get your friend out of jail too.

Dakota: Just know that this "Eagles Cabbie" is a bit of a psychopath, so better try to avoid pissing him off, or he will start shedding someone's blood.

Dwayne: Geez, thanks for nothing.

Yeager: Wait, Packie's in jail?

Niko: Yup. Lester revealed it. Good thing he knows Packie's full name, because that makes it possible for him to realistically trace that guy's phone.

Chester: Fourth wall, brother. I don't want you turning into the same monster that Packie was.

 

The ETTVSO van drives off. The cabbie is seen in the cottage's windows, pointing his gun towards the Group of--- umm, Six. They make a dash for the garage on the side of the building to stay out of his line of sight.

 

Klass: I'll offer a big reward for whoever gets my love out of that place in one piece.

Dwayne: Good to know.

Chester: Eh, I'm up for that sh*t for sure.

Herbert: To be honest, I've been sexually rejected so often I'd be interested in the offer too.

Yeager: Hey, let's not make this any kind of a f*cking contest. We're in this together.

Chester: I think you don't understand how big the offered reward is here. Damn, Yeager, you're just another one of those 'too mature for sex' types. Get laid sometime, man, it'll be good for you.

Herbert: OK, well, we gotta come up with a plan, and do it quickly.

Niko: What's the rush?

Herbert: I don't want the Forellis somehow showing up here while we're still confined outside that damn cottage. We'd be like sitting ducks if they came now.

Dwayne: Relax, we do have one advantage. Unless they have procured boats at some point, the only way for them to get here is by that narrow road through the woods. I got a huge idea: we should plant mines on it.

Niko: Where are we going to get those?

Yeager: I'll admit that's a damn good question.

Dwayne: Ah, f*ck it. In any case, we gotta focus on the issue at hand first.

 

What happens next?

 

1) Weird things begin to happen in the supposedly haunted cottage, intimidating the cabbie and especially Roman.

2) Niko sneaks in through a top floor window.

3) Chester starts doing drugs in the garage, and has another flashback.

4) The Group of Six lure the cabbie out of the cottage with something Eagles related acting as bait.

5) We cut to Packie in the county jail.

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Onett

Not another chapter, writer's block, but I think I found a video that sums this place up.

 

 

Man, I love GMod.

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Fallcreek

Oh, when you guys add returning characters, can you link to the page they debut in for the new writers? (I.E: me! :'( )

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Carbonox

Oh, when you guys add returning characters, can you link to the page they debut in for the new writers? (I.E: me! :'( )

I assume you mean Dakota (the other agents are probably just random characters). Good thing I still remember the time of her debut.

 

http://gtaforums.com/topic/462751-my-chain-story/?p=1061517168

Edited by Carbonox

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Fallcreek

(( Lol, those older pages are genius! ))

 

5) We cut to Packie in the county jail

 

A day later..

 

Packie slowly opens his eyes and lets out a loud groan. He latches onto his back and realizes he's been sleeping on the floor. Realizing he's still locked up, he sits up and looks around his bland cell. There's no poster, no sink, no toilet, not even a bed. Just a cheap blanket. He curses under his breath, then suddenly the door cell opens.

 

*BUZZ!*

 

With a slight gasp, Packie stands up and dusts him self off. With certain caution, he slowly approaches his cell door and pokes his head out to investigate. He ultimately finds nothing. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously steps out of his cell and looks for a guard, or other prisoners. After about a minute of searching, he comes up with nothing. Starting to realize that something's wrong, he yells out "ANYONE THERE!?" Packie stands there for a few seconds waiting for a response, but still; nothing. He lets out a deep sigh, and walks around the seemingly abandoned Police Department until he stumbles upon the evidence room. He looks in for a quick second and finds nothing again. He opens the door to the evidence room and looks for his stuff.

 

 

MZrvg.png

 

 

Packie starts frantically trying to open lockers, and still finds nothing. The place has been cleared out to his dismay. "What the hell happened here?" he thinks to himself. He eventually just gives up and starts looking for the entrance to the Police Department. He finds the entrance finally and tries to open the door, but oddly it won't open. It's not locked because the handle turns all the way, but it won't budge; something's pushing the door shut.. He kicks the door out of frusteration and decides to find the stairwell to he can go to the roof. While he's checking the doors, he wonders where everyone went, the place is empty and everything's cleared out, he also wonders how his cell opened up mysteriously. He finally finds the stairwell, and starts bolting up towards the roof. He tries to open the door but it's not budging too. Getting more angry, he barges though the door with a shoulder check and stumbles out to realize that Las Venturas is covered in sand.

 

 

10031129_2.jpg?v=8CE70FE0DEEB350

 

 

Covering his eyes, he looks in the distance and barely makes out the faint shape of a Helicopter that's landed on top of Caligula's Casino. He wonders if it's the National Guard or maybe it's the Niko and the boys. He lets out a grin, and stands there.

 

What happens next?

1) We cut to the Group of Six the day before the sandstorm as they currently luring the cabbie out of the cottage with something Eagles related acting as bait.

2) We stick with Packie as he's currently trying to find his way off the LVPD roof

3) We cut to Niko, Chester and Yaeger in the present, who are buried inside the cottage with The Eagles Cabbie and Roman due to the major sandstorm that's happening outside

4) Packie regains conciousness, back in his cell. The guard tells him he has a visitor

Edited by Fallcreek

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The_Anti-tragedy

1) We cut to the Group of Six the day before the sandstorm as they currently lure the cabbie out of the cottage with something Eagles related acting as bait.

 

Yeager collects a piece of paper and a pen from a compartment of his Schafter before turning to Chester.

 

Yeager: This is a stupid idea.

Chester: We don't have anything else besides guns, and Niko won't let us use those. This is our only idea, okay?

Dwayne: We only got one shot at this, man. That driver is crazy as f*ck.

 

After following Chester's plan, Yeager comes out from behind the garage and calls out the Eagles cabbie, waving the piece of paper in his hand.

 

Yeager: Mr. Cabbie, I have something you may be interested in!

Cabbie: Is it an autograph from your Black Keys, dickhead?

Yeager: No, no no. I've been a dickhead enough for today. This is an autographed piece of paper by Glenn Frey himself.

Cabbie: Really?

 

The rest of the Group of Six cower behind the garage, awaiting the cabbie's reaction, Klass in Chester's arms.

 

Cabbie: Looks legit. How much do you want for that?

Yeager: The fat man, please.

Cabbie: I must say, I have a sh*tload of Eagles memorabilia, and Glenn Frey seems to have changed his signature. Interesting.

 

1. The cabbie doesn't buy the apparent bullsh*t.

2. The cabbie accepts Yeager's offer.

3. Something in the garage explodes, alerting everyone and injuring Herbert in some way.

4. The sandstorm approaches.

5. Nickelback's tour bus crashes into the cottage, hitting the Eagles cabbie.

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Corndawg93

5. Nickelback's tour bus crashes into the cottage, hitting the Eagles cabbie.

 

The bus hits the cottage and runs down the Cabbie but not Roman

(Niko) Oh my god

 

(Dwayne) Who's bus is that

Niko recognises the bus

(Niko) In know, it's Nickelbacks bus, I know because they gave me a lift but kicked me off because I said the Eagles suck

(Yeager) And they kill another Eagles fan, that's weird

Chad gets out of the bus

(Chad) Stupid drunk bus driver, where are we

Chad sees Niko

(Chad) Hey your the guy who hates The Eagles

 

(Niko) Well, all I have to say is thank because you bus not only killed that Psyco cabbie but you also wrecked our safe house

Just then the wind kicks in and starts to get really bad and dangerous because it quietly turns into a category 10 sandstorm that sweep most of eastern San Andreas

(Niko) Sh*t, everyone get inside

They all run for the big hole that the bus made all get to safety

(Yeager) Where'd this sandstorm come from

 

(Niko) Good question

 

(Roman) Does anyone have any idea what we can do while we're stuck here

 

(Chad) How about a mini concert

 

(Everyone including the 3 other members on Nickelback) NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

 

(Niko) Let's explore this place, we might find something interesting

They all agree and spit into 3 groups, Team Niko (Niko, Dwayne and Yeager), Team Roman (Roman, Herbert, Chester and Klass) and Nickelback

Who do we follow???

1) Packie, back in the Las Ventures

2) The ETTVSO van, who are attempting to make there way back to LV

3) Team Nickelback

4) Team Roman

5) Team Niko

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The_Anti-tragedy

Just thought I'd share this. A GTA V Chain Story. Feel free to contribute. :colgate:

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Fallcreek

1) Packie, back at Las Venturas

 

Meanwhile, on top of the Las Venturas Police Station..

 

Packie notices that the wind is picking up again, and looks in the distance - another sandstorm is heading his way. Not wanting to get trapped inside the Las Venturas Police Station, Packie frantically searches the roof for a way down. Not finding any ladders, he starts to get worried until he stumbles upon a slope that has been formed by the sandstorm earlier. He looks down and sighs "It's a steep one.." he thinks to himself. Having exhausted all his options, he decided to roll down it. Taking every step like it's his last one, he sits down on the edge, and takes a breath. After a few minutes of psyching himself up, he pushes himself off the roof and rolls down the slope. Having eaten a load of sand on the way down, he spits it all out and looks around; half the city is covered in sand. "Jesus.." he mutters to himself, and continues to walk towards Caligula's Casino, hoping to find someone - anyone.

 

An hour later..

 

After an agonizing walk, he finally reaches Caligula's and finds a military checkpoint; only it's abandoned again. "f*ck!" he yells out, echoing off the surrounding buildings. With no other options, he continues forward inside the building, noticing a horrid stench. It's completely dark inside Caligula's "no power' sh*t.. Maybe there's a flashlight." Clinging onto the little optimism Packie has, he ventures forth into the dark Casino. After a few steps, he trips over something and falls onto the ground. With his blood run cold, he lays on the ground and closes his eyes; trying to shake the unease he's feeling. He gets back up a minute later and investigates the area, trying to find the thing he tripped over. Feeling the ground like he lost his glasses, he feels something rough, then feels a flashlight. He grins, and grabs the flashlight with haste and clicks it on. He looks down and notices that it's a dead solider.Almost having a heart attack, Packie falls onto the ground again and turns off the flashlight. After a few minutes of sitting in the dark, he turns it back on and searches the body for a letter, but finds a note that's soaked in blood and his M9 clenched between his hands. He grabs them both and shoves it into his pants, then turns around and shines the flashlight over the main floor and his hearts sinks deep into his chest - it's a massacre. Dead bodies everywhere "Oh my god.." he thinks to himself. Not wanting to go near the pile, he goes towards the stairwell and goes to the top floor, hoping to find that Helicopter.

 

A half hour later, Packie finally reaches the top floor. Completely out of breath, Packie sits down on one of the steps and pulls out the note that he found.

 

"Couldn't help them.. They're all dead."

 

He realizes that he's talking about the bodies on the main floor - he must've shot himself. "Who done this?" he wonders and puts the note away. Not getting any answers, he continues towards the roof, and staying true to form; he finds nothing again. "Of course.." he mutters to himself and walks back inside to the empty hallway. Completely exhausted, he tries opening all the doors until one of them finally opens. He opens it slowly, with the M9 drawn and finds nothing; the room is untouched. He lets out a deep breath and walks towards the window and notices that the storm is rapidly approaching, engulfing all of Las Venturas in mere seconds.

 

 

eodS2Ui.jpg

 

 

What happens next?

1) The force of the wind shatters the window, and Packie is knocked towards the floor. Someone bursts through the door and drags Packie out.

2) We cut back to Team Niko, Roman or Nickleback who are out exploring the hole they ran into

3) We cut to Johnny Klebitz, who's back in Liberty City watching the news on the major sandstorm on his TV at his house.

4) Packie sits down on the bed, but notices that multiple thumps outside his room. Suddenly the door gets kicked down and multiple soldiers come in and restrain Packie.

5) We cut to the ETTVSO van, who are attemping to make their way back to LV.

Edited by Fallcreek

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Carbonox
1) The force of the wind shatters the window, and Packie is knocked towards the floor. Someone bursts through the door and drags Packie out.

Packie: There's nobody hearing me, right? Because I have to say something that seriously breaks the fourth wall! What the hell is going on in this Chain Story?! Why did the other characters leave me stranded back here?

 

The wind outside keeps on blowing harder and harder, until eventually, Packie starts noticing cracks form up at the window. He makes his way away on it just on time as it gets shattered, and manages to avoid getting hit by glass shards, but nonetheless, the sudden blast knocks him on the floor, where he has to hold his face down to stop sand from blowing into his face. Just then, a dark figure kicks the door open in front of him.

 

Packie: Who the fu---

 

The figure doesn't say a word, but goes up to Packie, and starts dragging him from the foot. Packie attempts to resist as the figure looks hostile, but after he's been dragged outside through the door, he gets swiftly knocked out cold.

 

Meanwhile at the cottage...

 

Team Niko has made their way into a room with a large and full bookshelf on the side. Dwayne inspects the titles and finds all sorts of weird sh*t, like "Hardcore BDSM for newcomers" and "101 messed up torturing methods".

 

Yeager: Chester's friend must've had a real good sense of humor.

Niko: Yeah, right. Is there anything useful in here?

Dwayne: If you mean survival guides for sandstorms, then no, I don't think that falls into this genre.

Niko: Whatever, let's move on, nothing to see here.

Yeager: 'Ey, hold up, hold up, hold up.

Dwayne: What now?

Yeager: Notice that big piece of paper sitting nice and tight between the books on the top shelf?

Niko: Yup.

Yeager: Can you guys help me get to it?

Dwayne: What's the point? With our luck, it's just a f*cking drawing of a booby woman giving a blowjob to--- On the other hand, it may not be as bad.

 

Dwayne lifts Niko enough so he can reach for the top shelf and grab the piece. After unwrapping it open, Niko finds that there's no drawing, but simply a short sentence written in the middle of the paper.

 

Niko: "The devil has got into that beast".

Yeager: WHAT?!

Dwayne: OK, so, let's just say... whoa.

Niko: Did Chester's friend write this?

Yeager: And why did he do it?

Dwayne: Whoever did, it must be no coincidence that this little thing has been left here, out of all places.

Niko: Wait, no, this can't be 38 years old. I mean, this paper still looks to be in decent condition.

Dwayne: Sh*t, you're right.

Yeager: That doesn't make things any better. So some lad has showed up here well after the owner's death and apparently seen something so horrendous that---

Niko: Let's not go there. We don't wanna creep each other out too badly.

Yeager: Yeah, well, I'm already creeped as sh*t for being in the same cottage with the f*cking Nickelback!

 

Who do we follow next?

 

1) Still Team Niko, as they proceed to another area.

2) Team Roman.

3) Team Nickelback.

4) The ETTVSO van, approaching Venturas and finding it more difficult to drive every second thanks to the storm.

5) Packie, who wakes up... somewhere.

Edited by Carbonox

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The_Anti-tragedy

4) The ETTVSO van, approaching Venturas and finding it more difficult to drive every second thanks to the storm.

 

As the van speeds the last two miles to Venturas, Dakota gets a call. She makes a face when she sees the caller's name. She picks up.

 

Dakota: What is it, Silver?

Dan: No need to speak in such a tone, Ms. Carrington; we're friends now.

Dakota: Shut up and speak.

Dan: Er, what?

Dakota: I mean, just speak.

Dan: Very well then. I suggest you and your crew get to San Fierro. We have a base there with everything looking into the sandstorm. Seismographs and sh*t.

Dakota: Ugh, thanks for the info.

Dan: Call me when you get there.

 

Dakota ends the call and turns to David.

 

Dakota: Dave, change of plans. We're headed to San Fierro.

David: Oh, for f*ck's sake-!

Dakota: You better not complain!

Damien: Hey, Kota. We got anymore weed?

Dakota: Should be in the back, where you are, idiot.

Danny: Dakota, don't be so harsh on the stoner. You know how he is when people call him names.

Damien: Yeah, I get sad and cry. :dozing: Thanks for backing me up, Danny.

Danny: No problem, soulmate.

Dakota: Ugh, I'm going to get an aneurysm from your idiocy.

Danny: So what's the plan now? Take a chopper to San Fierro?

Dakota: That's actually a good plan. I think we may find one on Caligula's.

 

The four agents get out of the van around the corner from Caligula's Palace. They decide to search the exterior of the building looking for ladders, except Damien, who looks inside instead. Damien goes up to the top floor, opening doors and scanning numerous rooms. He hears Danny outside.

 

Danny: sh*t, a big storm's approaching!

Dakota: Break the window! We'll hide inside.

 

Danny, Dakota and David successfully get inside one of the rooms by getting in through the window. The harsh wind passes for what feels like forever as they huddle up in the corner.

 

Danny: Oh man, Damien would've loved this.

Dakota: Oh crap, where is that sh*thead?

 

Meanwhile, Damien busts down one of the doors, but not before the room's window shatters from the wind's force. Damien gets glass on his arms and legs. He looks down to find a man on the floor. He takes the man in his arms, but he trips and hits the man's head hard on a wall. The man appears to now be unconscious. Damien decides to take him outside where he'll meet with the others. The other three agents are now once again outside after the wind has passed. They're frantically looking for Damien. Danny runs into him.

 

Danny: sh*t! Damien! Where the hell were you?

Damien: I was inside and I found this dude.

Dakota, catching up with them: You f*cking sh*tbird, you didn't tell us you were looking inside? And who the hell is that?

Damien: Oh, a person I found inside. Are we kidnapping him too?

Dakota: No, you f*cking idiot! We're looking for a damn chopper, plus I already kidnapped that guy, like, 50 pages ago.

Danny: What the hell are you talking about?

Dakota: f*ck you. We'll bring the guy along when we find a damn ladder.

David: Guys, I found a ladder!

 

The three agents meet with David, standing in front of a ladder. They proceed to climb to the roof, Damien tasked with the labour of carrying the unconscious man up the ladder.

 

1. David decides to have some fun, shifting up and down the ladder, butting their heads.

2. When Damien reaches the top, he drops the man in his arms.

3. They get to the top; there's no chopper.

4. They get to the top and find a Frogger.

5. We follow Team Niko, Roman or Nickelback laying low in the damaged cottage.

 

Comment: So it turns out I got Dan Silver's name wrong and instead typed Silva in my post with all the past characters reuniting. And by the way, the man Damien found is Packie. I tied it up.

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Carbonox
1. David decides to have some fun, shifting up and down the ladder, butting their heads.

David was the first to climb up the ladder. He gradually makes his way up, then suddenly slides downward, right into Dakota, who unwillingly slides into Danny, who hits Damien, who almost drops Packie's body. David laughs at the ruckus he created, as the others are holding their heads in pain, after each got hit by the ass of the person above them. (Author's Note: I'm sure Danny was rather happy about his close contact with Dakota's rear though)

 

Dakota: Not f*cking funny, David!

Damien: Hey, be more careful up there, I almost dropped this unconscious bastard!

David: Sorry, but guys, I think you take everything too seriously, so I lightened up the mood.

Dakota: David, you know what this'll mean...

David: Oh god, I so deserve it. I've been bad.

Dakota: Damn right you deserve it for endangering us all.

Danny: Can you stop talking and climb up already?

David: Yes, yes, of course. Lighten up, I said.

 

They begin climbing again. After they reach the helipad, they find a Maverick right up there - just what they needed.

 

Dakota: This better work. All this sand could easily screw up any sensitive mechanisms this thing might have.

Damien: Real optimistic from you.

 

David goes to the cockpit and successfully gets the chopper started. Damien drags Packie to the backseat along with himself and Danny. Dakota takes her usual place at the front passenger seat, and they take off.

 

David: Sh*t, guys, this sandstorm really makes visibility bad. We could easily get lost! Or crash into a building!

Damien: What's even more worrying is that now there are two pessimists in the group.

Dakota: Quiet, you! Remember your place in the hierarchy!

David: We need some flying music.

Dakota: See if you can find anything good.

 

A while later, Darude - Sandstorm comes up on the radio.

 

Dakota: Oh god...

Danny: What? This thing fits the theme perfectly.

Dakota: I'll just not say a word.

 

What happens next?

 

1) Packie wakes up.

2) The ETTVSO get lost, and end up flying into a completely different town from San Fierro.

3) They fly over Area 69, and are shot at.

4) We cut to Team Niko, Roman or Nickelback exploring the cottage.

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Fallcreek

3) They fly over Area 69, and are shot at.

 

David: Jesus christ, this song makes it hard to concentrate with all this f*cking sand!

Dakota: Just shut up, it's better than listening to you two lovers

 

While they continue flying, they notice a missile fly by them, then another one. David starts to get nervous and starts rocking the Frogger

 

David: Holy sh*t, we're being shot at! WE'RE GOING DOWN!

Dakota: We're not f*cking hit yet!

David: WE DON'T HAVE ANY FLAR-

 

Suddenly a missile hits the back tail, and they start spinning out of control while Darude - Sandstorm hits it's drop

 

David, Dakota and Danny: HOLY SH*T!!

 

Meanwhile, while the Helicopter is going down; Packie wakes up admist the carnage and starts screaming while being half awake.

 

Packie: Whaa-aAAAUURRRGGH!!??!

 

The helicopter lands right in the middle of Area 69, and a dozen guards surround the flaming wreck. Packie somehow survives the crash and crawls out, with Dakota in tow.

 

Soldier (We'll call him Harlem): Put your f*cking hands up!

 

Packie and Dakota relunctantly put their hands up, and few guards close in and slap some wrist restraints on them then escort them into the base for interrogation.

 

A few hours later..

 

Packie wakes up, tied to a chair along with Dakota.

 

Packie, slowly opening his eyes: Another cell, what the hell..

Dakota: Shut it, Patrick.

Packie: Who- ooh... It's you! f*ck you!

Dakota: f*ck you too!

 

Suddenly, one of the Generals (We'll call him Price) walk through the door with a Bowie Knife.

 

General Price: First we have some Canadian f*ck land in our air-strip, now we have a huge crash right in our f*cking base!

Packie: Look man, I have nothing to do wi-

 

Suddenly General Price hammer punches Packie with the butt-end of the knife, breaking his nose

 

Packie: Jesus christ!

General Price: YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TOO!

 

What next?

 

1) We stick with Packie and Dakota as they're being interrogated by General Price

2) We cut to Danny and David as they're being tortured in another room

3) We cut to Team Niko, Roman or Nickleback as they're exploring the Cottage

Edited by Fallcreek

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Mr. Scratch

2) We cut to Danny and David as they're being tortured in another room

 

Behind a close door a soldier has tied Danny to a cable on the ceiling, making him dangle all over. David is tied to a chair nearby.

 

Danny: Look, man, I already told you why we're here.

Torturer: You did...BUT I STILL DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

Danny: f*cking Christ, how thick are you?

Torturer: You're hard to break, but I've broken men much tougher than you.

 

The torturer moves to a small fridge in the back of the room, from it, he takes out a popsicle and moves on to get a blowtorch and a piece of bacon. He goes in front of Danny.

 

Danny: What's the torch for?!

Torturer: 2000 degrees, enough to turn steel into butter.

 

A look of terror starts to form on Danny's face.

 

Torturer: It won't hurt... at first. It's too hot, you see? The flame sears the nerve endings shut, killing them. You'll go into shock... and all you'll feel is... cold. Ain't science fun?

Danny: I told you, a sandstorm hit us, I swear!

Torturer: You'll smell burning meat and then... then it'll hurt.

 

He proceeds to ignite the blowtorch and starts burning a piece of bacon behind Danny. As it starts to sizzle, Danny panicks. Then he puts the popsicle on Danny's back.

 

Danny: Ahhh, son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! Stop, stop, just stop!

 

Outside of the room two soldiers are listening bewildered. Soldier Gomer and Pile

 

Gomer: Jesus Christ, Flint's a sadistic prick. Is this sh*t even legal?

Pile: f*ck do I care? For the amount of money they're paying me they can ask me to mime a heart attack and I'd f*ckin' do it. You know why? Cuz it's easy f*ckin' money, that's why. Beats sitting my ass in some trench in f*ckistan.

Gomer: Still, it's brutal.

 

We cut back to the torturer, who's name is Flint, and to Danny.

 

Flint: You smell that, kid? That's the smell of your fat burning, best diet you'll ever be on.

Danny: Alright! I'll tell you, whatever the f*ck you think I know I'll tell you!

Flint: That's a good boy.

 

What happens next?

 

1) He tells Flint what he knows

2) Captain Price walks in the room

3) We go back to Niko and Co

Edited by Mr.Scratch

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The_Anti-tragedy

2) Captain Price walks in the room

 

Price enters the room carrying a briefcase and wielding his Bowie knife. David's screams are muffled by the gag, but Danny's echo through the whole facility. Price closes the door.

 

Flint: Care to take over, Captain?

Price: That is correct, Flint. I already got my tools right here.

 

Price sets the briefcase down on a table, opening it up and revealing its contents: A screwdriver, a pack of M&Ms, a loaf of bread and a bottle of orange soda. Danny begs for mercy.

 

We cut back to Dakota and Packie in their room, both tied to the same chair.

 

Packie: That door's not locked. This chair's not tied to the floor. What do you say?

Dakota: Say about what?

Packie: Escaping this place, you dense bitch.

Dakota: f*ck you. You could've worded that better, you know?

Packie: Yeah, well, you kidnapped me. Twice, it seems.

Dakota: Don't blame me, that was Damien's fault. Wait, where is Damien? Where are Danny and David?

Packie: I don't know any of those names, lady.

Dakota: I guess we could find them. We can scoot over to that blade over there.

 

Packie turns to Dakota's view, eyeing a blade set on a table on the far side of the room, next to the door. Packie agrees and the two make an attempt to scoot to the blade. They reach the table after two straight minutes of intense physical activity. Packie grabs the blade with his teeth.

 

Dakota: Hmm, how do we do this...

Packie, spitting the blade back on the table: I could use my foot. I'm surprisingly dexterous in that area.

Dakota: I don't disbelieve that, but our legs are bound as well.

Packie: Just you wait.

 

After thirty seconds of taps of the cold floor and Packie's grunting, Packie gets his shoe off and picks up the blade with his foot.

 

Dakota: This is so f*cking stupid. You could easily cut yourself, and I doubt you have enough force in your foot to cut any ropes with it.

Packie: Like I said before, just you wait.

 

After another two straight minutes, Packie finally finishes cutting his ropes. He makes an attempt to untie Dakota, but footsteps are heard from outside the room along with conversation between two people. Even with haste, he can't untie the ropes quickly enough before the door is opened and General Price stands in front of them.

 

Price: What the hell! Get over here, you terrorist!

Packie: Oh sh*t! Don't kill me, kill her!

Dakota: f*ck you!

 

Price chases Packie across the mostly empty room with his Bowie knife in hand.

1. Packie picks up the chair Dakota is still tied to and whacks General Price with it.

2. Price gets a stab at Packie's leg, but Packie grabs Price by his collar and brings him down.

3. Dakota helps Packie, as she turns out to be dexterous too, cutting her ropes with her foot.

4. Danny and David burst into the room wielding assault rifles and shouting cheap one-liners.

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Carbonox
1. Packie picks up the chair Dakota is still tied to and whacks General Price with it.

Packie: Back off, you idiot! I can improvise!

Dakota: What the hell are you doing?!

Packie: Heeeee Yaaaaaahh!!!!!!

 

Packie has picked up the chair Dakota is still sitting in, and hits Price clean across the face with it. The chair then falls to the floor, and Dakota starts to hastily get herself free before Packie gets the idea of using that chair as a weapon again. Price stumbles a bit as a result of the hit, but then starts chasing Packie again.

 

Packie: Why won't you just quit, you walrus-looking freak?!

Price: You're the freak here, with the strange cube inside your head!

Packie: Hey, that's my f*cking ski mask!

Price: A-ha! No other reason to use a ski mask except bank robbery! You're in big, big trouble, my friend.

Packie: You'll never catch me alive, old timer!

 

On the floor, Dakota breaks free, but does it as subtlely as possible. Price doesn't notice it until Dakota suddenly jumps at him when he runs past, and he's so much taken by surprise that Dakota manages to knock him on the floor. However, Price then tries to take a stab at her with his knife, and while Dakota dodges the initial attack, Price then slashes her in the arm. At this point, though, Packie has made his way to the table, and picks up a random object to attack Price with. Unfortunately, just as he's about to attack, he realizes the object was just the pack of M&M's. The frustrated Packie spills its contents on the floor, because he does not like M&M's at all, and then runs off again as Price chases after him. Price, however, trips on the M&M's and falls on his ass.

 

Packie: That... was exhausting.

Price: You'll pay for that! I don't think I can sit down properly ever again!

Dakota: Yo, Packie, I need some help here!

 

After noticing Dakota's wound, all Packie can do is shrug, as he has no idea how to deal with it. Dakota makes a face to him and cuts off part of her shirt, wrapping it over the bleeding wound.

 

Dakota: We better find the others, 'cause this place is crazy. I think we can leave the old guy here, he's full of empty threats now.

Packie: Yeah. Sure. But let's just humiliate him a bit first.

 

He finds some scissors from the table and uses them to cut Price's oh-so-large moustache off. The old guy keeps on screaming about his lost manhood as Packie does it.

 

What happens next?

 

1) Price is so angry that he forcefully gets up and starts attacking again.

2) Danny and David burst into the room wielding assault rifles.

3) While celebrating their victory, Packie and Dakota are suddenly subdued by two other soldiers who snuck into the room.

4) We cut to Damien, who is being held... somewhere.

5) We cut to Team Niko, Roman or Nickelback exploring that weird cottage.

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Corndawg93

4) We cut to Damien, who is being held... somewhere.

 

Damien wakes up in a extremely white room with no restraint on him

 

(Damien) Where am I

 

(God) Your in a better place now

 

(Damien) Am I dead

 

(God) Yes my son

 

(Damien) Aww, how

 

(God) You died in that helicopter crash in area 69

With Damian accepting his fate we cut to....

Where do we cut to???

1) Area 69 with Packie and Dekota

2) The strange cottage

3) Trevor looking for the Eagles Cabbie (I smell a cross over)

4) Little Jacob

Edited by Corndog93

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Mr. Scratch

EDIT: I f*cked up and accidentally hit "Post" instead of adding it in this one. Sorry.

Edited by Mr.Scratch

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Mr. Scratch

3) Trevor looking for the Eagles Cabbie

 

*I want to try something different, so bear with with me*

 

 

 

We close in on a bar somewhere in Bone County, the "Lil' Probe'Inn" written on a dusty old sign. Loud music can be heard from inside the bar. Inside, a man is dancing with a couple of girls.

 

Man: "Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan, soy capitan!

 

Just as the songs stops playing a man walks in, it's Trevor, the mad look in his eyes giving away his intentions.

 

Trevor: Which one of you's the Eagles Cabbie, huh?!

Man: Ey, buddy! That'd be me, why you askin'?

Trevor: You! You're coming with me to Los Santos!

Cabbie: Oh, it's nice to meet a devoted fan but I ain't goin' nowhere.

Trevor: A fan?! Are you f*cking kidding me? Besides the fact that the Eagles are sh*t, you managed to make them even sh*ttier!

Cabbie: Ah, I see what this is about, you're another goddamn hater! And I ain't comin'! You know why?

Trevor: You don't want me to take a guess.

Cabbie: Because... I... am the f*cking captain! The head honcho of this fine establishment and m'boys here wouldn't take too kindly to that!

Trevor: You know what? You win.

 

Trevor walks off to the other end of the bar, spotting a jukebox he goes looking for a song. Until he comes by "Come A Little Bit Closer" by Trini Lopez. Smiling, he presses the play button and the record starts to crackle and pop as the tune sets itself in motion.

 

Trevor: You boys don't go nowhere now!

 

Making his way outside he goes to the back off a pickup truck he stole. From it, he takes what looks to be a baseball bat and heads back inside.

 

"In a little cafe just the other side of the border, she was just sitting there givin' me looks that made my mouth water. So I started walking her way, she belonged to bad man, Jose!"

 

Trevor: Well if ya won't come willingly, I've got other ways!

Cabbie: You're f*ckin' crazy, man! Show this prick why no one f*cks with me, boys!

 

Cutting back outside the bar, a man goes flying through one the windows just as the song gets louder and louder.

 

"Come a little bit closer, you're my kind of man. So big and so strong, I'm all alone and the night is so long!"

 

Trevor makes quick work of all the Cabbie's men, each and every one of them lying on the floor beaten to a pulp. He starts to look for the Cabbie.

Trevor: Cabbie, come out and plaaaaay, come out and play with uncle Trev!

 

Moving towards the bar he starts smashing every bottle he can find. Until, he spots the little rat, cowering in a corner.

 

Cabbie: Alright, man, I'll come with you. Just f*cking stop!

Trevor: *sighs* See what you made me do?! This woulda went a lot smoother if you weren't such a little sh*t!

 

With a swing of his bat he knocks the Cabbie out cold. Dragging him to the back of the pickup truck he commands himself for a job well done.

 

What happens next?

 

1) Armed men show up at the bar and chase Trevor

2) Trevor drives back to Los Santos

3) We cut to Area 69 with Packie and Dakota

Edited by Mr.Scratch

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Carbonox

3) We cut to Area 69 with Packie and Dakota

Packie: Eh, look at this. Looks like the signs of a struggle.

Dakota: Were there more prisoners in this place than just us?

Packie: I don't know about you, 'Kota', but I smell a crossover.

Dakota: Don't break the fourth wall. We gotta find those other bastards.

Packie: Is that how you always refer to your ETTVSO friends?

Dakota: Pretty much, because their simpleness gets on my nerves a lot. Dan Silver called me earlier, by the way.

Packie: Silver? I haven't seen that guy in ages.

Dakota: He was at the penthouse of Niko's. The writer mistook him for 'Silva' though.

Packie: Ah, now that makes sense! I was already wondering who the hell Dan Silva was supposed to be. You got any idea what happened to Stan Smith and Jeff Myrtle?

Dakota: Last I recall, they were too drunk to show up. But yes, they're alive, well, and stuff.

Packie: And how was Silver?

Dakota: Wanted us to get to San Fierro. Too bad this goddamn sandstorm made even that simple task impossible.

Packie: Kinda surprising how we've traversed these hallways for a while now without running into any guards.

Dakota: Whoever else has been here, he sure cleared the path.

Packie: Damn right he did. You know, it has been fun chatting with you.

Dakota: Are you trying to get into my pants, Mr. McReary?

Packie: No! All I'm saying is that - if we were to somehow die here, I'd hate to go without emptying my ball-sacks first.

Dakota: EWWWWWWWWW!!!! Is that seriously your pick-up line?!

Packie: Well... I only used it once, but it actually did have a 100% success rate...

Dakota: I don't want to speak to you anymore.

Packie: Damn, girl, life's for the living and sh*t... you know.

Dakota: Right now, we find David and Danny, and get the hell out of here. No unnecessary sh*t, got it? Oh, and just so you know, me and David already have a relationship... of some sort.

Packie: Remind me to kill David once we find him...

Dakota: What was that?

Packie: I... I didn't say nothing!

Dakota: ...Good.

 

What happens next?

 

1) They find David and Danny getting tortured.

2) Price attacks them when they least expect it.

3) An Eagles song suddenly comes on from a nearby radio. Packie starts jamming to it.

4) We cut back to Team Niko, Roman or Nickelback at the cottage.

5) We cut to the rest of Niko's friends, who are still in Las Venturas, and trapped in the Caligula's hotel because of the sandstorms.

Edited by Carbonox

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Mr. Scratch

1) They find David and Danny getting tortured.

 

 

 

Packie and Dakota enter a small hallway. Behind a steel door somekind of music and shrill screams can be heard.

 

"I rigged up a wire with a battery charge, to keep my donkey from a-running at large. Inside this bin I turned him loose, thrilled by volts of electrified juice"

 

Dakota: *sniff sniff* You smell that?

Packie: Yeah, smells like... bacon?

Dakota: Either that or... sh*t!

Packie: It better not be.

 

They immediately shoot off the lock and enter the room expecting the worst possible outcome. Instead they come across Danny, David and... Flint. He's got his feet in a bucket of water and what looks like jumper cables hooked up to a gasoline generator.

 

Packie: Jesus f*cking Christ, what the hell happened?

Danny: Hey Pacman, Dakota. Nothin', we're just having a little parlay on how long it takes to slow roast a man. Ain't that right, Flinty?

 

Danny administers the soldier a decent shock by turning the generator on.

 

Flint: Ahhhhhhh!

Danny: Shut up! You know you like it.

Packie You mind telling me what the hell went down here? And turn that f*cking record off!

Danny: Well, ah, Price here tried to torture me with a popsicle.

Packie: And you rig the man to a f*cking generator?!

Danny: You have any idea how cold those things are?

Packie: I ain't even gonna go there, how'd you get loose?

Danny: Well Davey here... ah, he's passed out now, managed to free himself when Flint went to check out the commotion outside. Got me loose but this self-serving prick here got the jump on him. And that's when I knocked him out, y'know.

Packie: Just... get him up and let's get the f*ck out of here already.

 

The pair pick David up and head towards the exit.

 

What happens next?

 

1) They leave the base without any problems.

2) Price catches up to them and tries to stop them.

3) We cut to team Niko.

Edited by Mr.Scratch

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Carbonox

1) They leave the base without any problems.

As they're heading out of the base, only one countryside cop tries to stop them - only to get shot in the head calmly by Dakota.

 

Packie: That was so easy, I think it didn't even qualify as a problem.

Danny: Yeah. Right. So now what will we do?

Packie: Sandstorm's still looking bad. But at least according to my theory, as long as we head away from this base, there won't be a chance of us ending up in their airspace again.

Dakota: That's wonderful thinking, 'Pacman'.

Packie: Oh, are you now starting to fall for me?

Danny: Quit flirting, you two. I found us some transport.

 

On the side of the base are several aircraft. Packie feels tempted to try out the Hydra's, but since there's so many of them, they have to resort to grabbing a Leviathan. Since David is knocked out, Danny takes the controls and flies off.

 

Packie: Damn, if this was GTA San Andreas, those SAM sites would just shoot us down before we could get out of here.

Dakota: Don't break the fourth wall. Also, I think we're safe because in the Chain Story, they only target unapproved vehicles. With no one around, this helicopter hasn't even been reported as stolen, so we're free to go...

Packie: OK, OK, goddammit, no need for such long explanations!

Dakota: Set course for San Fierro. I suppose we might as well carry out Silver's orders.

 

And so the Leviathan disappears into the sandstorm. Meanwhile, in the cottage in Tierra Robada, Team Roman is exploring one part of the cottage, which smells an awful lot like drugs.

 

Chester: I remember this room. Me and the friend used to do weed in here.

Roman: Jesus, was this place so airtit, the smell never went away?

Herbert: What? Airtit?

Chester: Airtight?

Roman: F*ck you! It was an honest mistake, and you original characters just feel the need to correct me all the damn time!

Klass: Do you have something against original characters? I'm one too.

Roman: Oops, I forgot. Yeah, umm, not all original characters are bad. But Chester is, because all he cares about is drugs.

Chester: WHAT?! That accusation will not be tolerated!

 

Suddenly Chester takes a threatening stance, and Roman wets himself right there, right now, as he's staring at the eyes of a man taller than him by a headlength.

 

Chester: You will never imply again that my friends were merely some sort of cheap weed-smoking company.

Roman: O-O-OK, man, I-I-I just...

Chester: I have so many fond memories of them... I still haven't got over their deaths fully, you know... You weren't there when I had this flashback to 1979, so you wouldn't understand...

Klass: Poor Chester. I can offer you another free service if you---

Roman: Wait, what?! I thought you loved me? And now you're running after him like a cheap hooker!

Herbert: Pardon me, but she is a hooker.

Klass: Well spoken.

Roman: Oh my god! My heart is broken...!

Herbert: Relax, dude, you still got Mallorie.

Roman: Who became insane after reading that f*cking feminist literature!

Herbert: Maybe there's still hope for her if she realizes her mistake.

 

What happens next?

 

1) Team Roman find something intriguing from the "drug room".

2) Chester has another flashback, this time related to the friend who owned this cottage.

3) We cut to Team Niko or Nickelback.

4) We cut to Dakota, Packie, Danny & David heading to San Fierro, to check on Silver's base.

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Onett

3) We cut to Team Niko or Nickelback.

 

Nickelback's tour bus has broken down in the middle of the sandstorm. They sent the bassist out, who got his flesh ripped off by the sandstorm, and there was much rejoicing.

 

Chad: ohhhhhhh no dewds what do we do

 

Drummer (I'm not learning the names): mebbe we should just stay here and feed off the creative energy of other people like we always do

 

other guitarist (I think): sounds good, like proper good

 

Chad: ok doke

 

15 minutes pass and they suck the remaining energy out of a alt rock guy from Canada.

Chad is chowing down on their new, sh*tty auto tuned album.

 

Chad: cmoooooooooooon guys we gotta do something

 

Drummer: hows aboot (I apologise to Canadians everywhere for linking you with this band) we play hit people over the head with a yellow pages

 

Chad: that got old fifty years ago

 

Drummer: oh

 

Suddenly, Chad bursts into fire.

 

Chad: huh. i appear to be on fire

 

Then everyone else catches on fire, except for the driver, who spontaneously combusts, thankful that he doesn't have to tour with this god awful band anymore. The tour bus catches fire and explodes.

An arm is seen moving and some shady bloke launches napalm at it. Still not satisfied, the shady bloke launches a nuke at it, finally killing the menace that was Nickelback.

Oh, that shady bloke was me. The author. So it goes.

 

Who do we shift to now?

1) Team Niko.

2) Team Chester (or Roman).

3) Some military guys.

4) And now, time for someone completely different.

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Mr. Scratch

How about you merge this and the V story?

Edited by Mr.Scratch

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Onett

How about you merge this and the V story?

Nah.

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Corndawg93

How about you merge this and the V story?

Thats a terrible idea

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