LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 (edited) (updates and more writing soon) OVERVIEW Pete Murphy, sent to Long Beach for one reason... to kill. He was sent to Longbeach to pay for a friends death. Pete has to take down the world's biggest and strongest gangs one by one. Living in the back of a cafe', the owner named, 'Pajro Fitzroy' scams customers each day. Pajro is renting the cafe' to mean, outgrown-ed Mexicans on a holiday. It's not lot long until they pay a visit and destroy the cafe' and threaten to kill Pete. Pete, scares them out of the cafe' and kills them at their mansion. The hunter turns into the hunted! Pete, "whatever you do... don't f*ck up!" It's in the making, so don't judge anything at the moment. I'm doing 2 concepts at the same time, it's hard work. This was originally going to be by friends concept friend but he said I could use it, we are both working on it. INTRODUCTION ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- STORY Pete wakes up and stares out of the window. The blinds are folded back as he glares down onto the cafe' below. Living in the back of a cafe', he lives in a two story house. The camera positions onto his face, music and opening credits begin to roll (like a movie). Scenes of what made him come to Long Beach. Robbing a bank, leaving a friend behind. The next scene shows Pete shaving in a cramped bathroom and the words of his leader appear in his head, 'If you don't get the 80'gs, it's going to be your FU**ING head!'. 'Kid?' the voice of Pajro asked. He stood there leaning against the side of the door. '5 minutes and were heading off to pick up Royce,' Pajro added. The music began to play again as he got himself into nice clothes. The camera shows Pete walking down the stairs into the back of the cafe'. It shows two dirty men staring at them washing dishes in a bucket. The back of the cafe' had wired fence all around it, dirty looking. Pete enters the back of the cafe' greeting, 'Chop, chop time to go,'. Pajro called out to the men at the back, 'Take over the shop while I'm gone'. 'Let's roll!' he says as the camera zooms out up to the roof of the cafe' watching them exit the room with the music playing again. Characters Pete Murphy Overtaking LongBeach for one reason, to kill. Pete has to pay for a friends death. Get the 80g in a month or be killed. Pajro, his brother- a pro at weapons. He teaches Pete, and turns him into Long Beach's 1# assassin. His mission, to take over the town in atelast a month, get the 80gs and smile. Pajro Fitzroy 'Born in Long Beach, he will die in Long Beach,' he says. Pajro owns a classy cafe' on Royce ave, right near the beach. Pajro is renting a cafe, letting Pete live in the back. Owned by mean Mexicans what will he do?.... Royce Crow Pajro's younger brother. Went to war recently, just cam home. Royce needs to help Pete with his weapons. Royce in the 80's, was Europe's best gunmen. He has a hideout, up in Tin Mountain. Pete! Aim, FIRE! Ezwrow Menicks Ezwrow works at the docks, Portland of Long Beach. Working with cargo, sending stuff off to America. Which his ability to transport cargo becomes fond to Pete and Pajro. The North of portland is named, 'EZ-Y SHIPS' which he owns. Ezwrow has a massive rival group, 'EU CARGO' which indeed have their own gang. Ezwrow, Pete, Pajro and Royce... It's gunna get messy! Rickie Ram Rickie, was a slave for 15 years to a criminal. He was held captive in the countryside, in a little shack of Ireland. He lost his ability to walk, but can huddle around on occasions. As far as his disability, Rickie is a bloody warrior. Before he was held captive, he was a NAVY SEAL. Him and his gang are a lethal weapon. Teaming up with Pete and friends, they will slowly take over Long Beach. Missions Introduction Mission: It's a Beautiful DayPete wakes up, has a shave, puts on some clean clothes and hit's the road with hisnew friend, 'Pajro'. It's time to pick up Pajro's brother, 'Royce' from the airport, CHOP CHOP! Reward: Save location Mission 1: Great to Be BackAs you arrive back from picking Royce, an unexpected quest awake outside.The Mexicans are out the front and threaten to kill Pajro if he doesn't pay his rent he was suppose to pay a month ago. You know what to do. You all take out the Mexicans before they trash the place! But wait, it's 2 Star; you gotta' bail! Reward- $15 Mission 2: Smash, Grab and Take It!After taking out the Mexicans, you rush off to Royce house in Tin Mountain. Too much hype made it look like crap. A two bedroom apartment, with a small living, bathroom and Balcony. Take off the heat, take out some guns and use Royce's backyard firing range! Learn how to use a gun, heads up! Reward: Save location GIVE ME YOUR IDEAS AND THOUGHTS OF THIS. 'LONGBEACH-based in Nice', France' LOGO MADE BY NARCIS_SPEED6 Edited November 16, 2010 by LOGGYTHEMAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Looks oooookay but add more sh*t to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mati Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Starting a second thread already? I dunno if its such a good idea. But lets see what it becomes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 @LuisBellic I'v just started. It's 9:30pm right now, in Australia. @Mati1501 Yes, I'm going ahead. I was thinking maybe you and me could make a DLC in the near future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 DONT BOTHER POSTING. IM LEAVING THIS UNTIL ANOTHER TIME. I'V GOT OTHER PLANS BETTER THAN THIS AT THE MOMENT.... Kind Regards -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finn 7 five 11 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 LOGGY, you make terrible threads and just rip off ideas...nothing original, no-one likes you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 LOGGY, you make terrible threads and just rip off ideas...nothing original, no-one likes you. Dude f*ck off atleast he's trying and he did rip off some peoples ideas but he apoligized or it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 LOGGY, you make terrible threads and just rip off ideas...nothing original, no-one likes you. That's it, fine. I'm leaving the forums! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 LOGGY, you make terrible threads and just rip off ideas...nothing original, no-one likes you. That's it, fine. I'm leaving the forums! Just ignore this bitch not everyone on the forums is like finn4life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 That's the reason why I copied peoples idea, I got no respect. Now, people still hate me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 That's the reason why I copied peoples idea, I got no respect. Now, people still hate me Just keep making concepts I like them f*ck what your haters say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finn 7 five 11 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 You apologized thats good, but this is still a stupid thread, you should have completed your idea first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 You apologized thats good, but this is still a stupid thread, you should have completed your idea first. yeah I agree that he should've put more in the topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finn 7 five 11 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 alright, its settled then...LOGGY will continue trying, and i will leave him be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AceRay Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 I agree that you need to focus on one, and make it sexy and awesome, instead of 2 at once and they are both average. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwandilibro Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Like other members have certainly told you, you do not steal others' idea. It's called plagiarism. And you can't just throw some sh*t together in one hour and expect instant respect. it doesn't work like that. You have to put some effort into your concepts. Otherwise, you might as well do nothing. And lastly, you can't make multiple concepts in such a short time. It's a terrible idea. First of all, it shows that you're focusing on quantity rather than quality, meaning you probably aren't putting a lot of effort into them. If you're not putting any effort into your concepts, you obviously don't care about them, thus, neither should we. Don't blame anyone else for not liking your concepts if you don't care about them yourself. And one last thing, if you can't accept constructive criticism, banish yourself from this site immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AceRay Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 listen to the man!! I agree entirely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Like other members have certainly told you, you do not steal others' idea. It's called plagiarism. And you can't just throw some sh*t together in one hour and expect instant respect. it doesn't work like that. You have to put some effort into your concepts. Otherwise, you might as well do nothing. And lastly, you can't make multiple concepts in such a short time. It's a terrible idea. First of all, it shows that you're focusing on quantity rather than quality, meaning you probably aren't putting a lot of effort into them. If you're not putting any effort into your concepts, you obviously don't care about them, thus, neither should we. Don't blame anyone else for not liking your concepts if you don't care about them yourself. And one last thing, if you can't accept constructive criticism, banish yourself from this site immediately. True but that one dude was defintaly not using constructive criticsm if he said "no one like's you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 THIS POST NEEDS TO QUIET DOWN... I JUST WANT TO LEAVE IT. IT WILL BE BACK UP LATER IN THE YEAR, MAYBE NEXT YEAR. I'M SORRY FOR STARTING AN ARGUMENT, JUST PLEASE QUIET DOWN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyMufc-Champs Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 There Is nothing wrong about doing two concepts, just update both of them often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxopower Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 @LuisBellicI'v just started. It's 9:30pm right now, in Australia. Thats not much of an excuse, If it isn't "done" yet, then don't post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niko_Vercetti7 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 That's it, fine.I'm leaving the forums! Is that a threat or a promise? Just asking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mati Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 @LuisBellicI'v just started. It's 9:30pm right now, in Australia. Thats not much of an excuse, If it isn't "done" yet, then don't post it. maxopower, all you doing recently is ruining concept threads. A concept thread has not to be 100% ´done´ to post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommyMufc-Champs Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Recently? He has been doing It for over 2 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 There Is nothing wrong about doing two concepts, just update both of them often. yeah man get alot of sh*t in your topic before you post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted November 1, 2010 Author Share Posted November 1, 2010 Introduction Characters Mission ALL UPDATED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kmeto 2 Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Not bad idea with that Long Beach name. I like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted November 1, 2010 Author Share Posted November 1, 2010 Not bad idea with that Long Beach name. I like this Thanks man! Have a good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LuisBellic Posted November 1, 2010 Share Posted November 1, 2010 Hey man it looks better i've been thinking of making a san andreas concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOGGYTHEMAN Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Hey man it looks better i've been thinking of making a san andreas concept. Yeah, cool! I'd thought of making on ages ago. I have the name of the concept. If you want to PM me, maybe I can give you some ideas... you know; sort of work together if you'd like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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