Quotable Notables @ GTAF

[Retired Mafia]

You were waaay too optimistic with 1 week

 

Tanks fer ul the luv evrybody, I have returned lik Jesus Chris to my hom GTAFagoms.

I skipped a day and already I have recieved more luv than Eva beefier. You guys really do appreciat my company.

Thenks guys.

I am now going to giv all love to you forumas fer Al my lif If not mur.

I wil start by stating me votes and disvotin Al cheeky c*nts in the forum.

[Voodoo]

Well, that was a good read. Let's get back to notable quotes now. Don't feed the attention whore.

[Quadro]

^^fixed it, also thanks. anyway my cat was attacking a bird before so I stopped him from doing it.... I went out and when I got back I noticed the cat had been at it again but he was nowhere to be seen. But the bird (a Thrush) was lying in the grass half alive... so I tried to find a worm for it to eat but it didn't eat it, I noticed that some of it's wing feathers where missing on it's right wing and it had a cut with some blood under it's right wing as well... so I put it in the greenhouse hoping that it would come around.... but it's not. I don't want the poor thing to suffer but at the same time I don't want to kill it... What should I do?

 

Call your local SPCA, they'll guide you better than the monsters and maniacs here.

 

The default response is usually to decapitate them with a shovel, that's what I do every time our cat butchers a bird.

Thanks, but the bird's dead now anyway... I was told by my lecturer today that as soon as a cat bites a bird it injects venum into it that will eventually kill it... whether that's true I don't know... Lol

[PhillBellic]

 

^^fixed it, also thanks. anyway my cat was attacking a bird before so I stopped him from doing it.... I went out and when I got back I noticed the cat had been at it again but he was nowhere to be seen. But the bird (a Thrush) was lying in the grass half alive... so I tried to find a worm for it to eat but it didn't eat it, I noticed that some of it's wing feathers where missing on it's right wing and it had a cut with some blood under it's right wing as well... so I put it in the greenhouse hoping that it would come around.... but it's not. I don't want the poor thing to suffer but at the same time I don't want to kill it... What should I do?

 

Call your local SPCA, they'll guide you better than the monsters and maniacs here.

 

The default response is usually to decapitate them with a shovel, that's what I do every time our cat butchers a bird.

Thanks, but the bird's dead now anyway... I was told by my lecturer today that as soon as a cat bites a bird it injects venum into it that will eventually kill it... whether that's true I don't know... Lol

 

The Isle of Man must have some strange wildlife;

 

 

[AlienTwo]

 

 

^^fixed it, also thanks. anyway my cat was attacking a bird before so I stopped him from doing it.... I went out and when I got back I noticed the cat had been at it again but he was nowhere to be seen. But the bird (a Thrush) was lying in the grass half alive... so I tried to find a worm for it to eat but it didn't eat it, I noticed that some of it's wing feathers where missing on it's right wing and it had a cut with some blood under it's right wing as well... so I put it in the greenhouse hoping that it would come around.... but it's not. I don't want the poor thing to suffer but at the same time I don't want to kill it... What should I do?

 

Call your local SPCA, they'll guide you better than the monsters and maniacs here.

 

The default response is usually to decapitate them with a shovel, that's what I do every time our cat butchers a bird.

Thanks, but the bird's dead now anyway... I was told by my lecturer today that as soon as a cat bites a bird it injects venum into it that will eventually kill it... whether that's true I don't know...

Lol

 

The Isle of Man must have some strange wildlife;

 

 

 

Does the fake police care about plagiarism, Phil?

 

 

 

 

Cats aren't venomous.

 

Except this cat...

 

 

[SWEETSAPRIK]

This reminds me of that time a bunch of dudes "plagiarized" a Google image search for "cat snake"...

 

And by that time I mean this time.

[AlienTwo]

I put a lot of effort into that google search. Choosing the very best "cat snake" image I could find, and then low and behold, a fake cop comes and takes credit for all my hard typing, reading, analyzing, copying, pasting and clicking "post."

 

It's not right, man. He's not even a real cop.

[livejoker]

Make way! GTA:O section garbage passing through!

This made me laugh more than it should and by "more than it should" I mean I've been laughing for the past 7 minutes. Funniest thing this guy said which is a first. And yeah, ignore the "snickers" spelling mistake, still funny.



If pic is too small, it's from this thread.

Edited May 9, 2016 by livejoker

[Uncle Sikee Atric]

More questionable recruitment : From http://gtaforums.com/topic/854443-ps4-themoneygangonline/?do=findComment&comment=1068762792

 

 

Recruiting All players With mics,$1,000,000 joining bonus ! we help all people make money, lets just say the cops let us rob the bank (no stars) xD come check us out

[Arachne]

Some guy at the GTAO section made a thread complaining about him getting killed by sniper shots while on his hydra. The results were "rekting":

 

Don't be a jet griefer, and you won't be sniped.

IS IT f*ckING HARD TO STAY AWAY FROM THE JET, YA BUSTAS?

 

Original Thread: http://gtaforums.com/topic/854501-sniping-is-a-cheap-tactic/

Edited May 12, 2016 by Arachne

[Ai®a©ob®a]

So i had a YouTube channel with a good amount of subscribers, my top 3 videos are ranking with around 400k views, and everyone was loving me. Until one day, this 13 year old came in and managed to convince nearly all my subscribers that i am a "cyberbully" and that i "troll" people. This got TONS of people to unsubscribe to me and block me, and now my YouTube channel is ruined, my videos don't get many views anymore and i lost a lot of good friends i had on YouTube. All this guy did was add nearly every one of my subscribers to Google Hangouts and just give them this sob story, how did he do it so fast? He has a group dedicated to troll 1 specific youtube channel per 6 - 12 months.

All the stuff that i worked for a whole year, all taken away in 1 day by a 13 year old, his content isn't even good, in fact it's just as cringe-worthy as any austistic youtube channel (and this 13 year old is literally autistic cause he wears a fedora in some of his videos). Not to mention he insults his subscribers in the beginning of most of his videos, and everyone loves him for it! Me i just say a friendly hello, and after what this kid did, people see my hello as a threat.

 

I don't know what to do, i can't believe people fell for this, this kid took all my fame that he doesn't deserve.

GTAForums, i could use some advice.

Edited May 14, 2016 by AiraCobra

[Spaghetti Cat]

I hate when kids take my fame, just makes me want to punch em.

 

 

Hay page 200!!! Party Time!

[Quadro]

 

I just want to make love to a beautiful women, just gently caress her as I rub my hands down her neck just gently caressing her with the tips of my fingers, just enough to make her cry for more... As I gently breathe down her neck... I hub my hands down her back, raise her arms and place her against the wall and lick her lips, up and down... then lick gently behind her ears... breathing intensely... She looks into my steely eyes... Where both naked, feeling every part of our body's touching... The warm, smooth, silky feeling... Feeling her hair flowing down my back as we both kiss and gently caress each other... And then make love all night...

50 shades of sophisticatedaviator

Aqua/russler need a root.

[Uncle Sikee Atric]

 

 

I just want to make love to a beautiful women, just gently caress her as I rub my hands down her neck just gently caressing her with the tips of my fingers, just enough to make her cry for more... As I gently breathe down her neck... I hub my hands down her back, raise her arms and place her against the wall and lick her lips, up and down... then lick gently behind her ears... breathing intensely... She looks into my steely eyes... Where both naked, feeling every part of our body's touching... The warm, smooth, silky feeling... Feeling her hair flowing down my back as we both kiss and gently caress each other... And then make love all night...

50 shades of sophisticatedaviator

Aqua/russler need a root.

All I see is the perfect example of virginity....

[RedDagger]

When a GTA Online member accidentally clicks a topic in the off topic section:

 

Not that I'm against the game, but why are people starting Battlefield threads on the GTA Forums?

[Eram]

 

Whoever gets to page 30 first, gets a free name change.

can the last poster on page 29 get banned as well?

 

y'know, make it...more interesting

As long as hiding posts isn't involved (that much...) I'd say yay!

[Nico]

Who is graven anyway?

lol

[trip]

Should have banned the mexican kid instead of locking the thread.

[Payne Killer]

 

Who is graven anyway?

lolNothing quotable about this. Edited May 18, 2016 by Payne

[Member's Only]

 

So i had a YouTube channel with a good amount of subscribers, my top 3 videos are ranking with around 400k views, and everyone was loving me. Until one day, this 13 year old came in and managed to convince nearly all my subscribers that i am a "cyberbully" and that i "troll" people. This got TONS of people to unsubscribe to me and block me, and now my YouTube channel is ruined, my videos don't get many views anymore and i lost a lot of good friends i had on YouTube. All this guy did was add nearly every one of my subscribers to Google Hangouts and just give them this sob story, how did he do it so fast? He has a group dedicated to troll 1 specific youtube channel per 6 - 12 months.

All the stuff that i worked for a whole year, all taken away in 1 day by a 13 year old, his content isn't even good, in fact it's just as cringe-worthy as any austistic youtube channel (and this 13 year old is literally autistic cause he wears a fedora in some of his videos). Not to mention he insults his subscribers in the beginning of most of his videos, and everyone loves him for it! Me i just say a friendly hello, and after what this kid did, people see my hello as a threat.

 

I don't know what to do, i can't believe people fell for this, this kid took all my fame that he doesn't deserve.

GTAForums, i could use some advice.

 

 

[PhillBellic]

This;

So last night I decided to celebrate being off work for a few days with a Döner kebab. For those unfamiliar or for those that come from a country that like to confuse others by calling it something else, you might know it as gyro for some reason. I don't tend to eat much fast food and I'm certainly not familiar with kebabs. However, I do remember how to order one so I had that going for me. I shuffled into the place which looked like a room where fast food chefs might be found playing cards over boxes of spray painted organs. Seven minutes and a crisp £5 note later and I was scurrying home with a tightly parcel straight from the bowels of a Turkish prison.

 

Fast forward to this morning and my guts are on fire. The first clue was around 5 this morning when I barrel rolled into the bathroom like my foot was on fire and the only means of extinguishing it was by dunking it in the toilet bowl. I've since returned from my third poo in four hours. The last one reminded me of the common TV trope where a character may fire a gun in a given direction, followed by a generic shot of some birds fleeing a tree in a hastened panic. I don't know if I was the gun or the birds, but I fear I may have to pick up some frozen food just to sit on whilst my anus puckers and quivers like a haunted house decoration. I'm not one for hyperbole but the pain is so deep my large intestine could sing baritone for a prison choir.

 

 

 

[boyben]

are u alvie, wher can i but a pack of newports for mr president?

 

Have had this one saved for a while.

Edited May 19, 2016 by boyy

[Uncle Sikee Atric]

From : http://gtaforums.com/topic/855185-is-there-anyway-to-convince-my-friends-to-play-gta-online-rather-than-watching-netflix/?do=findComment&comment=1068782249

 

I met my friends in gta online and after 1 month told them to help me complete heists i all they said is ok after waiting for 30 minutes i realised they will not join. Is there anyway to convince them to do heists with me?

I am playing on ps3

The answer is clearly : GET BETTER FRIENDS!

 

EDIT : Just noticed this guy is moaning about his friends on several other threads in Guides And Strats as well, he is a Professional Squeaker / Troll / Whinger. (You delete to make it appropriate, I cannot stop laughing!)

Edited May 20, 2016 by Sikee Atric

[PhillBellic]

The desperation is strong with that one...

[Flachbau]

 

Okay, I'm going to wake up in the morning and do a massive shopping spree

I initially read this as "Okay, I'm to going to wake up in the morning and do a massive shooting spree". Thought I was on Newgrounds for a second.

[DangerZ0neX]

huh, I don't know if I should be honored that I got unintentionally featured here.

[sivispacem]

No, but see sivis, the government itself hijacked the plane in order to portray it as a terrorist attack, so that they would have a casus belli to invade Egypt and take those sweet sweet pyramids which, as we all know, hold uncalculable amounts of gold, which is what the jews controlling the government are really after.

http://gtaforums.com/topic/855092-egyptair-flight-804-lost-over-mediterranean/page-2?do=findComment&comment=1068784968

[trip]

Also, you can't blame reddit for all your problems...

Putting this here so people can add it to their list of words to live by.

[Retired Mafia]

Came across a really sad thing..

 

 

Just need a girl to ride with me and chill with me and my crew Unamed0NE01 the o's are zeros

from:

http://gtaforums.com/topic/855286-need-a-girl-to-ride-on-the-back-of-my-bike-so-i-can-look-cool/?do=findComment&comment=1068786986

[Quadro]

 

1. Brings up necro thread

2. Thread had only 6 posts before hand

3. New member rates his old Permanently Banned Account.