Build Up Your Gang

[Slingaa]

Thanks for the rating.

 

I know it looks like I'm just saying it because I have a casino, but I think you should earn income from a business/racket eevery time you write a story. It could get pretty confusing adding whatever amount each week, why not each time you write a story?

 

Tell me what you think all.

[Landstalker]

I don't know.

Edited August 21, 2010 by Landstalker

[Slingaa]

I don't know. It could be a disdvantage for those that are writing only one, two or three chapters a week. And, it could a a advantage for those that are writing more than five chapters a week.

How about there's a maximum of 5 per week and a minimum of 2? If you don't write any stories in a week, you should get the income on a Sunday as normal.

[WelcomeToLibertyCity]

How come in my rating it says "two out of three done"? Am I missing something here?

[Landstalker]

 

I don't know. It could be a disdvantage for those that are writing only one, two or three chapters a week. And, it could a a advantage for those that are writing more than five chapters a week.

How about there's a maximum of 5 per week and a minimum of 2? If you don't write any stories in a week, you should get the income on a Sunday as normal.

I don't know. I don't want to add a minimum or a maximum of chapters per week.

 

WelcomeToLibertyCity~ Everyone's three first chapters are rated without your errors counting. This is a bonus that everyone's deserving to have for their help and/or for other reasons..

Edited August 21, 2010 by Landstalker

[Slingaa]

I don't know. I don't want to add a minimum or a maximum of chapters per week.

I mean the maximum number of chapters you get cash from assets from. If you write six or more stories you don't earn income until the next week. Do you understand?

 

Also, is it alright to sell hoods if I buy a new one?

[Landstalker]

Which 'hood do you want to buy?

[Slingaa]

The Emerald Isle, its not on here but in my stories the Loco Syndicate protect it. I want to sell Ryder's House and Big Smoke's house, as they don't really fit in.

[Tyla]

How about just turning a racket red after five stories have been written about that specific business and the happenings that go on there, and have an increased bonus on Sunday's from there on out? I don't mean anything drastic, maybe a bonus of $250 ($50 for every story) seen as we already upped the amount of assets from 1 to 10.

[Landstalker]

 

The Emerald Isle, its not on here but in my stories the Loco Syndicate protect it. I want to sell Ryder's House and Big Smoke's house, as they don't really fit in.

Selling Big Smoke's House will give you $300 and Ryder's House $300.

Their 'hoods will sell $2,800.

 

You'll get $3,400 for selling them.

 

The Emeral Island 'hood will cost $2,100.

 

You're making profits of $1,300.

Edited August 21, 2010 by Landstalker

[Slingaa]

How about just turning a racket red after five stories have been written about that specific business and the happenings that go on there, and have an increased bonus on Sunday's from there on out? I don't mean anything drastic, maybe a bonus of $250 ($50 for every story) seen as we already upped the amount of assets from 1 to 10.

Yeah, like Casino (1) if one story has been written about it and Casino (2) with a maximum of Caisno (5) with a bonus of $50 per asset with each story?

[Landstalker]

 

Loco Syndicate

 

LocationPropertyGang MemberStory CountLas Venturas Emerald Isle Casino -- 0 Los Santos Big Smoke's Crack Palace Slingaa 2 (1) Weapons 9mm, Tear Gas. Knife, Machete, Chromed Shotgun, AK-47, Baseball Bat, Dragunov, Molotov Cocktail, Brass Knuckle, Silenced 9mm, Satchel Charge Vehicles Maverick, Stallion, BF-400, Jester Money $3750 Rackets and Businesses Casino Assets Croupier (10) Drugs --

 

This is what your gang looks like on the second main post. Hope you like it. I added the $1,000 bonus, since I'll go with your idea.

Edited August 21, 2010 by Landstalker

[Tyla]

How about just turning a racket red after five stories have been written about that specific business and the happenings that go on there, and have an increased bonus on Sunday's from there on out? I don't mean anything drastic, maybe a bonus of $250 ($50 for every story) seen as we already upped the amount of assets from 1 to 10.

Yeah, like Casino (1) if one story has been written about it and Casino (2) with a maximum of Caisno (5) with a bonus of $50 per asset with each story?

Just like that.

[Slingaa]

Thanks mate, that's brilliant. I'll write one more story for the Crack Den, then I'll move to the casino, if that's okay.

[Landstalker]

That's ok. When you are in a gang, you can switch to any of its properties.

 

There's one thing that I'm not feeling good with, though; the $50 bonus for each assets.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Red Jacks – Wichita Gardens Hideout

Chapter one – Hood Sweet Hood

May 25, 1998 - 09:18

 

My name is Brady “Red Jack” Mudu. They call me like that because I have tattoos of the Red Jacks almost everywhere on my body, I am the “Jack” of the gang and that I am the one who brought the power that the Red Jacks have. I am 26 years old and I come from Wichita Gardens in Shoreside Vale, Liberty City. We are the 11th day of June. The year is 2002. I am lying on the ground, heavily bleeding, losing my blood, because I got a hail a bullets shot at me. Before I die, because it is surely that that will happen, let me tell you my story. This might be our last chance...

 

The year was 1998 and we were the 25th day of May. It was making four years, day-to-day, that I had fled away from Liberty City, because I had assassinated the mayor Jerry O’Pook and the captain of the Shoreside Vale police, Neilson Rongfa. This guy was corrupted as well as the captain of the Shoreside Vale police since the Columbian Cartel bribed them to get of us and the Purple Nines. Before leaving to Vice City, D-Ice, the leader of the gang, gave me some cash, to pay my plane ticket and to get a place to live.

 

In Vice City, I worked for the Bikers, living in a Skumole Shack, the Cubans, living in the underground floor of their leader’s house and the Vercetti Gang living in the big mansion of Tommy Vercetti. I also worked for the police to get on the good side of the law and took some normal jobs in the local pharmacies, jewelries, gun stores and even in the bank where I worked as a security staff. By the time, with all the connections and relations I made, I finally bought a weapon and a car which were imported straight from Liberty City. Then, they started to give me bigger and harder missions until I got a call from D-Ice informing me that I was clear to return to Liberty City. After I had made all the good byes I needed to do, I took another plane.

 

Arrived in Liberty City, at the airport, I waited for one of the wallet to come with my Landstalker. When he arrived I quickly throw him out of the car letting some cash for him to compensate this and raced to Wichita Gardens. There, I looked for a telephonic both and called D-Ice to inform him of my arrival. He answered me he was in red building at the 10th floor, room 160 in the 4th wing. Luckily for me, the building was in front of me. I just had to find the entrance and to take the elevator up to the tenth floor.

 

When I entered the apartment, to my great surprise, it looked luxurious, compared to the rest of the building.

 

“Hey, Red Jack! How are you? You’re 22 years old but you look like if you where 18,” he said happy to see me. We made the gang hug and he presented me Phil Spock.

 

“What? After all I’ve done? You’re telling me that this guy climbed up the ranks and took my position!” I yelled furious. I just wanted to kill Phil and to return to Vice City.

 

“Calm down. He’s going to be your new boss. I want you to work for him and that you climb up the ranks again. Do what I order you or else…” he menaced me. He searched something on his desk and took his Colt .45. Having his gun pointed at me was enough to convince me. “He’s going to show you your room and then you’ll start to work for him. Phil, go ahead. I need to talk to Brady,” he continued. He put down the Colt on his desk.

 

“What do you want boss?” I asked. I knew that he had something important to tell me.

 

“Thing’s have changed around there. The Purple Nines took over Wichita Gardens and control the subway near the airport, the Columbian Cartel expanded, from their mansion, into the rest of Cedar Grove, the Forelli Brothers are trying to take Wichita Gardens and, us, we are pinned down in this building, the land of this building and a house that Spock bought in Cedar Grove. And all what I’ve got are some incompetent fools that can’t drive a car for sh*t or even use a gun,” he said. I knew he was angry but he contained his angriness.

 

“Don’t worry. In Vice City, I made myself plenty connections and relations and I can get us weekly supplies of Landstalker and MP5K,” I sheered him. That made him smile and I departed his office room.

 

Spock and I took the most performing elevator down to the third floor. He told me to hurry up and to get some decent clothes. I was about to turn the corner when he throw me the key to unlock the door. Room 13 was my destination. I unlocked the door to find that my place was a sh*thole. I investigated it more properly and found some red clothes on the bed. When we reunited again, we took the stairs down to the first floor and got in my Landstalker since he said that his car was at his house. I drove him to his house in Cedar Grove and parked the car near the front door.

 

“Hey, Jack. Apartment costs money. Just remember who pays the bill around there. Me! Phil Spock. So for now on, you work for me,” he said. He got out of the car and got in his house.

 

“What an asshole…” I mumbled to myself. I knew this guy wouldn’t make it easy for me.

Edited August 24, 2010 by Landstalker

[Tyler]

 

Forelli Brothers

Is That Automatic?

1986: Chapter 2

 

I awoke later that night to the sound of Rocco's fat fist knocking my door down, almost. He came inside after I unlocked it, and started talking about some arms deal scheduled for tonight. "Alright look Dan," he snorted, "Tonight there is a small yacht to come across and meet some local gang over in Tierra Robada. Big ass mansion, small harbour, the works. Anyway, the shipments said to be about 50 AK-47's"

"Wait a minute, the f*cking machine guns they use in wars?" I was flabbergasted. My body gave way, and I leaned down to my bed and listened on. "The very f*cking same man. fifty of those things, just floatin' in from wherever the f*ck cares. Now, big don Jimmy wants us to go grab the sh*t, and make us of it for ourselves," Rocco reclined back into the leather chair he sat in, pulling out a cocaine pen, and snorting the remains inside.

 

It was about eleven o'clock, when we got into Frank's Elegant, and headed off into the desert. "s'gonna be a long trip boys, probably two hours," He smugly said, speeding past the City Limits. Frank was a good guy, never made the Don unhappy. He got to his ranks today, by doing all the low life sh*t no one else wanted to do. Setting fires to houses, murdering people who didn't pay, the usual. I guess he had more sympathy for gangs then me or Rocco did, seeing as he hired some locals to help him every once and a while.

 

The desert gloomed and swayed with the wind, under setting the dark sky above. For the past week, sandstorms have been kicking in and out over Bone County, and crashes have increased quite a bit considering. I sifted through my coat pocket and pulled out some redwoods, and lit up a cigarette, to calm my nerves. Something always intrigued me about cigarettes and all that sh*t. The first time I ever smoked, I was eleven. Stole a pack from my dad's cabinet and ran into the backyard, hiding behind the bushes. If there was one thing I didn't like about cig's, it was how expensive they were.

 

One and a half hours later, Frank's car slithered into Tierra Robada, pushing past a small Indian town, towards the back county. "sh*t man, I can't believe we're about to seize this sh*t." Frank's unnerved voice said. Rocco nodded to me, pulling down his car window. "I need some air, this sh*t's hot,"

"Well, it's about forty degrees outside, I'm sure you'll get something," Frank sarcastically said, as Rocco turned the window back up. Frank slowed the car to a halt, leaving us looking at a huge river-side mansion made of oak and stone. None of us could describe how beautiful it was, and how we just wanted to quit our lives and live here. Frank whispered out a 'I think this is it,' ending with us all agreeing.

 

I grabbed the car door and shuffled out of the car, pulling out my Deagle, and motioning towards Frank and Rocco, who exited the other side of the car, to come over to where I was. "Alright, we should be right on time, the boat should be harbouring any minute on that small dock right there." I pointed to the end of the dock, as that was all we could see, the rest was blocked by the mansion. The three of us ran across as quietly as possible, and took cover behind the large garage to the left of the mansion. I exhaled a breath full of the adrenaline, now pumping through me. The wait was almost unacceptable, as we inched over to the back door of the mansion. Rain was pouring down, giving the sky a mist of grey, and making it particularly hard to see too far ahead in any direction.

 

I jumped into the kitchen of the mansion, aiming my firearm ahead, ready to fire at an instant. Rocco silently followed, with Frank in tow behind him. I slowly turned a corner into the living room, aiming around, to the sight of a man sleeping on the couch. He was suited in a dark black apparel, with leather gloves to match. I figured he was some sort of biker, as I inched closer to him. My gun, slowly pressed against his forehead, as he woke up. I signalled for Rocco and Frank to check upstairs, and outside on the docks. "Look partner, you have no idea who you're messing with." The biker's voice reminded me of a mix between a hippie, and a white supremacist. "Can you at least let me sit up?" he pulled his arms up and let me see that he wasn't pulling anything. I nodded, as he slowly began to shift positions. "Who are you, and where are the guns?" My voice was a bit shaky, but I hid the fear well. "We're the freedom riders. Who the f*ck are you?" he whispered back at me, angrily. From the way he talked, I could tell he's been in a situation like this prior to this occasion.

 

"I'm the guy who's taking your guns, now where the f*ck are the guns?" I pressed the gun deeper into his forehead, making him grunt in pain. "f*ck, they aren't here yet, you god damn mobster," I smiled with relief, and grabbed the guy's neck, proceeding to crack it, and leave him dead on the couch. My mind was at ease, hoping he wasn't just some homeless person hitching a nap, and that we'd missed the big shipment. I began to walk outside, but as I did I noticed a boat making it's way to the small dock on the path below. Kneeling down, I signalled to Rocco, who was still in sight, to come over and get beside me. "There's the boat, the guy said we weren't too late.

 

Once the boat was docked, a large Cuban man jumped out and began striding over towards the mansion. His dark tan signalled that he was probably outside alot. Indistinct muffles were being shouted back at the boat, by two other Cuban men, both holding boxes labelled 'military issue'. "Alright, Daniel, we can't take on these guys, we don't even know how many of them there is. I found a briefcase of case in the bedroom, let's make the deal, and make sure no blood is dropped?" I thought about it for a moment. We don't even know these guys, if we try and start something they'll think it was the 'Freedom Riders'. We could take the cash, the guns, and make off happy individuals. But, I didn't want to risk us dying, these guys had to have some sort of training with their AK's.

 

"Alright, get the cash" I reluctantly said, standing up and opening the door. I greeted the Cuban man at the stone wall reaching to our knees. "You the guys that Tommy hired then?" He spit out all over me. "Hell yes sir." I tried as enthusiastically possible to not sound Italian. Something about all of this seemed fishy. "Alright, Rico, bring the boxes! So, you gonna finish off them Forelli's, make sure no loose ends in here in Las Venturas then?" I almost passed out right then and there. It makes sense now! Tommy Vercetti, the 'Harwood Butcher', everyone used to talk about him. Sonny said he was a good guy though, why the hell is he hiring Cubans to kill us? "Gringo! You there?" I came back to reality, and nodded. "Sorry, I was just thinking about these AK's, you said fifty right?"

"The f*ck? No, we agreed twenty-five for 530$, you know that!" He angrily growled at me, making fists and slouching over. "Of course, of course, how could I forget, alright. My associate is getting the money in the-" Three bangs and pops from the upstairs mansion interrupted me. We all turned to look, as Frank fell out of the second story window, crashing into the patio. A loud biker looked out the window, yelling, "f*cking Forelli, they're sabotaging us!" Before he said they, I was turned around with my Deagle in hand, aiming at the large Cuban man.

 

"Alright, here's the deal. I take the guns, and I won't blow you brains out" He didn't fold. Instead, he challenged me, and jumped into the air with ferocious rage. BANG! His limp body cracked onto the floor, almost like a timer. A timer, telling the gunfire to ensue. The little Cuban holding the box next to me dropped it and tried unholstering his pistol, but was shot dead. I hid behind the stone wall and fired at the biker, who was now fighting Rocco inside. Loud shots of an assult rifle were being fired at the wall I was hiding behind, chipping piece by piece off. "f*ck!" I yelled as I pulled up and aimed at the man on top of the boat, killing him instantly, and watching his body fall into the water.

 

I began hiking back inside the mansion, making sure no Cubans were coming out of the boat. Once inside, I saw the grisly sight before me. The biker was dead, shot about seven times in the chest. But Rocco had a bullet in his right calf. "f*cking sh*t! that biker son of a bitch!" He yelled, as he reloaded his Deagle, and continued firing shots into the dead biker on the floor. I ran to Rocco, leaning on the staircase. "Listen, we gotta go, cops'll be here any second, I'll tell you about the sh*t once we get home. Rocco nodded and limped up, staggering along with me as I led him to Frank's car. "Wait here, start the car. I'm grabbing a box of AK's alright?" I hurried back to the deal scene and looked around. Rain ferociously landed around me everywhere, crackling and popping. The boat was gone, but there was one box, the one the little Cuban dropped, still here. I picked it up and dragged it along back to the car, holding my Deagle with the other hand the whole way.

 

"I've got f*cking splinters from this damn box." I sarcastically said, as Rocco started the car, and began driving off. The AK's were in the trunk, Frank was dead, Rocco had a wounded leg, and I, well I finally realised how f*cked we really were.

 

[Landstalker]

Unoriginal44~ Chapter two out of three. That's, probably, the longest chapter made in this BUYG version.

 

I, still, have a question; you're buying AK-47's in this chapter?

 

Since you're breaking a new record, with a chapter of 1745 words, and how it was decribed, etc..., you deserve a $100 rated chapter. Congrats'!

[Tyler]

The funny thing is, I wrote that all on a whim.

 

As for the AK's, I haven't asked WTLC, but if he says yes, then yes, and if he says no, then the next story will keep you informed.

 

Thanks for the 100 buckaroos, I feel honoured indeed.

[WelcomeToLibertyCity]

I personally think we should make a bit more cash before we dish out nearly half of it for an AK.

[Tyler]

I personally think we should make a bit more cash before we dish out nearly half of it for an AK.

I see your point there. When I write the next chapter, I'll go ahead and explain everything that needs to be heard.

[Landstalker]

 

I personally think we should make a bit more cash before we dish out nearly half of it for an AK.

I see your point there. When I write the next chapter, I'll go ahead and explain everything that needs to be heard.

Just an idea; you could say that they were tricked. The box didn't contain AK-47's but drugs.

 

If WelcomeToLibertyCity is ok with that idea.

[Slingaa]

I'd like to buy a Strip Club please. I think we should add weapon attatchments like silencers, red dot sights, extended magazines etc.

[WelcomeToLibertyCity]

I personally think we should make a bit more cash before we dish out nearly half of it for an AK.

I see your point there. When I write the next chapter, I'll go ahead and explain everything that needs to be heard.

Just an idea; you could say that they were tricked. The box didn't contain AK-47's but drugs.

 

If WelcomeToLibertyCity is ok with that idea.

That would work. At least we'd make some profit with it too.

[Landstalker]

I'd like to buy a Strip Club please. I think we should add weapon attatchments like silencers, red dot sights, extended magazines etc.

You are now the owner of a Strip Club.

 

I don't know. Do you mean simple attatchment or special named ones? Like you see, I'm not a specialist in this.

[Tyla]

I don't think the weapon attachments are a good idea. It seems.... unnecessary. If you're really into that sort of stuff, you could just include it in your story anyway. As for the assets and rackets, it's up to you, Landstalker whether or not you go with the idea. You're the boss If you think it would be of added depth to the game, then you have my backing for its inclusion.

 

I'll rate Landstalker's chapter for the Red Jacks if no one else is planning to?

[Tyler]

I'd like to buy a Strip Club please. I think we should add weapon attatchments like silencers, red dot sights, extended magazines etc.

You are now the owner of a Strip Club.

 

I don't know. Do you mean simple attatchment or special named ones? Like you see, I'm not a specialist in this.

Please don't!

 

Weapon attachments? We don't need that stuff, it's not going to change the story too much as is. It will only pollute the front page in my opinion.

 

As for the drug thing, that works, I'll be sure to get into that. WTLC, are you fine with it being, an extremely large amount of drugs, like more than 900$, as I will be selling it in the next chapter, since I received them last.

[WelcomeToLibertyCity]

Go for it

[Landstalker]

 

I don't think the weapon attachments are a good idea. It seems.... unnecessary. If you're really into that sort of stuff, you could just include it in your story anyway. As for the assets and rackets, it's up to you, Landstalker whether or not you go with the idea. You're the boss  If you think it would be of added depth to the game, then you have my backing for its inclusion.

 

I'll rate Landstalker's chapter for the Red Jacks if no one else is planning to?

I guess no one will do it so you can go for it.

 

EDIT: Unless WelcomeToLibertyCity wants to make his first rate in this version of the game.

Edited August 21, 2010 by Landstalker

[Tyla]

Landstalker - Chapter One

 

As I first read your restarted arch for the Red Jacks I notice the similarities with the start of Carlito's Way, and it seems you're going along the same lines by having a powerful criminal left laying on the ground bleeding to death and then narrating just exactly how he got to that point in the first place; an admirable decision that may turn out to be very fruitful for you.

 

There are a few mistakes, most commonly in the passages of your sentences, but for someone who I assume isn't a native english speaker you do have quite a good grasp of language which is commendable.

 

Overall; a good chapter that serves well to introduce us to your lead character and the situation your chosen gang faces at the time of the story. You can add $75 to your account for this effort.

[Landstalker]

May I ask a question? What is Carlito's Way?