GTAF General Chat Topic

[Punk-in-Drublic]

I'm sat here listening to the background music from The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (its on in another room) and I must say, the music is immense, I love spaghetti westerns.

[meta187]

I'm sat here listening to the background music from The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (its on in another room) and I must say, the music is immense, I love spaghetti westerns.

Yea those all pretty much have their own look and feel, not sure if it's one of the ones made in Italy but I really liked High Plains Drifter. The main hero character pretty much defends the town and takes anything he wants in the town including a a slightly bitchy chick, which he pretty much drags out to a barn or something and has his way with. That would totally not happen in movies today. Not sayin' it's right but it's interesting to see what people could get away with decades ago.

[Lemus]

Want to know how Grand Theft Auto V possibly saved my life? Read on.

 

Last night when I fell asleep, I was dreaming I was eating tasteless asian food at a empty restaurant with my family. We were the only ones there. In this dark, quiet, chilling, yet amusing, restaurant. As we ate, no one spoke. We would eat with both hands to our mouth at once and eye-ing everything in sight the entire time.

 

Halfway thru my meal, I discovered one of my food items was loaded with miniature creatures crawling all over it. These crawling f*ckers were about 1/4 the size of an ant! I look over at my dad and he gives me this look with his eyes wide open like "wtf is that?" but keeps on eating since he doesn't have any on his plate, nor the rest of my family. I get up in shock and asked the asian lady what are these ants on my plate all about as i take another bite and get ready to listen to her. She starts talking all of these non-sense in her own language. You know how asians are. But the way she was speaking it - I instantly knew it was bad. Very, very bad.

 

She then grabs my arm and starts pulling me away from the table rushing me to the in-store emergency room. My family kept on eating as they all looked at me getting carried away. On the way to the ER, I felt my face feeling heavy. I little tear of skin is hanging on my right cheek and i decide to rip it of as i thought it was an ant. As i quickly tried to remove it off it tears half my skin of my face. From my mouth all the way up to my right ear. I start getting really hot and my skin gets really thick and even more heavy. The ripped part is burning hardcore due to the heat.

 

As the asian lady notices my head starts to slowly inflate, she decides to wrap my whole head in this see-thru thin-rubber face-mask to stop my head from expanding. It's tight up to my face all around my head. As we get to the ER's lobby, the asian lady starts filling out some paperwork in order for the nurses to attend me. At this point, I can only breathe thru one nostril. And for some reason my face-mask's rubber starts to get thicker and thicker.. and it's slowly getting harder for me to inhale and exhale. But I can still see clearly.

 

The asian lady finishes the paperwork and throws me behind this door. I can barely f*cking breathe or move a muscle and this bitch makes me walk my ass by myself to the room i'm suppose to go down to in this dark endless hallway. The room is about 500ft away, I knew it was that room since it was the only one with a white light shining out of it. I start walking forward trying to get to my destination, but because I can barely move a muscle it's taking me about five seconds a step.

 

One third the way there, I drop down to my knees. And in slow-motion my upper body is going down towards the floor about to lay dead, but as my head reaches the floor, the rubber mask stops me from dying since it didn't hit hard enough to the floor. I'm now laying flat on my stomach looking to my right. I noticed a doctor working on a patient with the same problem as me. As i take a really, really long deep breath, it gets steamy and warm inside my rubber mask. As I exhale, I pass away.

 

My soul/spirit is now leaving the building thru walls slowly. But i have no control of my soul/spirit as it's leaving. I can only move my head and eyes giving me enough time to view everything around me, even the smallest detail. As i past thru the first wall i'm in the lobby and ahead of me I see this man flirting to the asian lady from earlier on as she's looking thru a magazine next to a book shelf. f*cking bitch.

 

As i get closer to her, i noticed plenty of old books on the shelf. But three stood out the most. The first book was titled "GTA III." As i read it, I can hear myself take one deep breath in real life! The following book was titled "GTA IV." Another deep breath was taken in real life as i heard it. The next was "GTA V." After I read this one, my head jumped off my pillow as I awaken in real life. Turns out I was dying in my sleep suffocating on my pillow because i was positioned wrong.

 

..and that's how GTA V saved my life.

[The Guru]

That sounded intense. Are you being serious though? I believe that you might have been suffocating because of your pillow but the reason you woke up was GTA V? You must be hyped.

[Lemus]

 

That sounded intense. Are you being serious though? I believe that you might have been suffocating because of your pillow but the reason you woke up was GTA V? You must be hyped. 

To tell you the truth, I'm not even really hyped about GTA V at all yet. Why did i jumped when i saw it though ? I have no idea.

 

And yes, i was suffocating on my pillow as i stated previously. After re-reading my own post, it all makes sense now, too. My bed is close up to the wall where as my head lays next to a heater, that explains the heat on my face in my dream. The right side of my face being ripped off and in heat was probably due to friction caused by my pillow and my face from moving around so much trying to wake up. The breathing thru one nostril because of the way i was positioned, etc. Kinda scary to think about but very cool at the same time.

[meta187]

She starts talking all of these non-sense in her own language. You know how asians are.

Nice.

 

 

I think the competition here at GTAF for absurdity at certain points is pretty darn fierce but you my friend have locked down the title for at least the next week or so.

 

Liking that Red Dead Av/Sig combo btw.

[trip]

A random thread is a dangerous place for people like me

 

How many times have you started to respond in a thread and then decided to just bail out and not post? I just did(in the america/iran thread), and I realized I do it a lot.

 

Weather is getting nice round here. Bout f*ckin time.

 

-----

 

I will spare everyone the back story, but I have been doing some dinosaur/bible research.

This Site was amazing for so many reasons. I hope you wouldn't need me to tell you it's wrong, but I love how some of the sections end where it almost sounds like they should have typed - 'so there'

 

It turns out dinosaurs were around with Jesus and friends. Who knew??

 

 

edit:

upon rereading.

 

Thus, if the Bible is right (and it is!), dinosaurs must have lived within the past thousands of years.

I just couldn't hold back from including a sample from the article.

 

more edit:

People!!! If you don't read the article you will miss important information like this

 

Evolutionists declare that no man ever lived alongside dinosaurs. The Bible, however, makes it plain that dinosaurs and people must have lived together. Actually, as we will soon see, there is a lot of evidence for this.

Edited March 17, 2010 by tripmills

[meta187]

 

A random thread is a dangerous place for people like me

 

 

A random chat thread needs people like yourself and everyone who's posted thus far.

 

It's nice to be able to switch gears mid conversation but still have the continuity of regular and new faces to keep things moving.

 

Without a pin or staff support this thing easily runs the risk of slipping off to the 2nd page.

 

It's a common sense idea, I'm just hoping it catches on as more people get comfortable with it. So thanks.

 

The bible mentions "dragons" and great lizards I believe, I often wonder if that is by any chance the last remnants of these prehistoric creatures. Whether you believe in the bible or not a good number of things in it are factual and historical accounts all religion aside.

 

It also says that fallen angels came down to earth and mated with humans producing offspring called Nephilim but for some reason that particular aspect never gets much press time on a typical Sunday sermon.

[Punk-in-Drublic]

I hate it when pay day is on a Sunday, because my money will only go into the bank on the Monday. But if im lucky it may go in on the Saturday. Im skint untill then, so im pissed off and relatively more sober than usual.

[Aussiebushmatt]

How do you guys like your crisps? I've just been eating a packet of Seabrook Potato Crisps and I've fallen in love with crinkle cut crisps. sh*t like this and McCoy's are what keep me plodding along nowadays. Just kidding. But seriously, crinkle cuts are the bomb guys. I also adore nachos in any form, whether it be the Morrisons brand tortilla chips I ate yesterday or Cool Original flavoured Doritos (which are the best fothermuckers).

 

And I'm not fat!

[Kryten.]

I hate it when pay day is on a Sunday, because my money will only go into the bank on the Monday. But if im lucky it may go in on the Saturday. Im skint untill then, so im pissed off and relatively more sober than usual.

I know with my pay (as with most in Australia) it would have to go in early. If my pay day falls on a Monday or a Sunday, meaning they cannot process it the previous day as its a weekend, then they have to process it Friday so its cleared and in my account on Saturday morning.

 

Which is good when you start struggling towards the end of the week and really don't want to have to wait until Monday.

[meta187]

 

so im pissed off and relatively more sober than usual.

I can relate a bit, we have a strict "no smoking till the weekend" policy we've been trying to do for the last two weeks since reupping and Ehhhhh..not so fun.

 

@Aussiebushmatt: I'm a big fan of Kettle cooked Salt & Pepper and Salt & Vinegar style crisps potato chips.

 

And unfortunately I am indeed, fat.

 

@Kryten: I actually do the payroll at my job so I have access to my Friday check as early as Monday but cashing it early is generally frowned upon unless I ask for permission which I intrinsically hate to do in regards to anything.

Edited March 17, 2010 by meta187

[Marco_GTA]

So who's unemployed right now? I have been for the past 5 months or so but now finally I got a new job starting tomorrow but only for about a month atleast or so they say but it could be much shorter, hopefully it will last at least a month then

 

Now I have to insure my car which costs £1500 which is only about £200 cheaper than last year.

 

Also I'm glad I don't have to keep going to the job centre, I f*cking hate that place, as everyone says; it's so depressing

[Aussiebushmatt]

 

@Aussiebushmatt: I'm a big fan of Kettle cooked Salt & Pepper and Salt & Vinegar style crisps potato chips.

That's what I'm talking about, I f*cking love Kettle Chips

[meta187]

 

Also I'm glad I don't have to keep going to the job centre, I f*cking hate that place, as everyone says; it's so depressing

when we 1st moved back to Houston about 4 years back I had a brief stint of unemployment and went to Workforce Solutions or something like that and you're right. Those places are depressing, you see people there not even looking for jobs just using the phones and internet because they have no access to them at home and the people running them seem pretty useless like they were looking for a job when they decided to work there and are actually no better in finding a job than you. Most of the jobs I've landed were because someone knew someone I knew or I constantly bugged the living sh*t out of some manager or HR department till they at least gave me a chance.

 

Unemployment in the states is still pretty dire, latest stat says something like there is 1 job available for every 6 people looking.

 

yikes.

[nerner]

 

@Aussiebushmatt: I'm a big fan of Kettle cooked Salt & Pepper and Salt & Vinegar style crisps potato chips.

That's what I'm talking about, I f*cking love Kettle Chips

Have you tried Burts Crisps? Their firecracker Lobster flavour sh*ts on everything else...

[meta187]

The two big brand Kettle chips down here are:

 

 

Zapp's: Served in Texas Prison commisaries statewide. First ate them when I did a brief 3 year bid stint as a Correctional Officer at the Wynne Unit in Huntsville. The Jalapeno flavor are ghetto fabulous.

 

 

 

Cape Cod: These are pretty much the high end Kettle chip and in stores nationwide as far as I know. Salt & Pepper ftw.

 

 

 

[Punk-in-Drublic]

McCoys are my favourite all round crisps, Flame Grilled Steak are the dogs bollocks. Im sure they got rid of my other favourite flavour "Roast Ham & Mustard", havent seen it in the multi pack bags in ages.

 

Kettle Chips are brilliant aswell, I love the sea salt and malt vinegar ones, great when you have the munchies.

 

Edit: These are the ones

[trip]

That first salt and vinegar chip can knock your socks off.

 

Hey, is it just around my area or does everyone call 'old bay' chips 'crab chips'?

[KillerKabel]

I can't believe this place only has about 4 pages after a all these days.

But yea, just had one thing to share.

 

1. Get home from school.

2. Make a meal out of the last pieces of bread (Have been alone in my dad's house all week.).

3. Go upstairs, into my bed.

4. Turn on my PlayStation, to watch the new episode of House MD.

5. Watch House MD until sleep ensues.

6. Make up, EIGHT hours later. When it's 1 am.

 

How is that even possible?

 

Anyway, off to finish homework due an hour ago.

[ghost of delete key]

Halfway thru my meal, I discovered one of my food items was loaded with miniature creatures crawling all over it.

That actually happened to me.

 

when I was 10 or 11, my parents and I would go to this one pizzeria in town.

 

One time (the last ), I got a bigass ham and cheese calzone (or stromboli, depending on where you live).

So I cut the thing in half as usual, and chomped down the first half, talking, and jivin' around...

 

I start in on the second piece, and as I'm about to bite into the open end, I look down at it, and it basically looked like the little bucket of rice in The Lost Boys.

The thing was full of maggots, and they were kinda writhing around in the cheese like... like I don't know what.

 

 

So I dropped the half a calzone on my plate, and start gagging with this weird face, going "AAACH! AURGH!"

 

My mother shoots me a look and said something like "quit goofing around being dramatic" or something to that effect, at which point I just turned the plate around.

 

Then my mother picks it up, looks at it, and now she's ready to barf.

 

That's when my father takes it back to the counter and starts some loud sh*t with the owner, who now has a look of panic on him as all the other patrons are rubbernecking to see what's going on.

 

Needless to say, we never paid, and we never went back. Too bad, they otherwise had great food.

 

On the ride home, My mother starts kidding me about eating maggots.

 

"So... were they good? <giggle>"

"can ya feel any wiggling around in there?"

 

We had a good laugh.

 

 

@ meta & the other chip-heads:

The crab chips are pretty good, but I'm not a big fan of old bay seasoning in such heavy doses.

Salt and pepper is way better.

 

tripmills: Tell 'em about Utz.

"No Utz over there". I miss the billboards with the little Cossack angrily shaking his fist at the passing traffic.

[beavis]

@GoHK - OMG, I LOL'd. Can't say I've had maggots. I think something as traumatic as that would always leave some kind of imprint of maggots on my mind whenever I would eat some calzone. Then again, those little calzones are pretty good so maybe a little maggot action in there wouldn't hurt.

[Voodoo]

@GoDK - I am confuse. Where I'm from (and pretty much everywhere else), calzone/stromboli is baked in the pizza oven. Maggots are extremely sensitive to temperature. How in the world could they still be moving?

 

 

[trip]

@GoDK, I was going to mention Utz, but it's just one of those things you can't explain. You know. Like Tasty Kakes. Do you have any idea how spoiled and lucky us in the del valley are with our tasty kakes? It was 2 for $5 at the market so there is a box of krimpets, and a box of peanutbutter kandy cakes in the pantry right now. How f*cking great are the the Tasty Kake trucks with the 'this truck equipt with tasty breaks' bumper stickers? I live down the street from Amoroso rolls, so I see a lot of their trucks. I love ,Mayor Roll, all hand painted, small enough to not be the focus, but big enough to see and enjoy.

 

By the way people ,Utz, potato chips are real potato chips. I believe they are still cooked in lard even. Just big fat potato slices cooked in lard. And nothing beats the slightly burnt ones

 

Is it serendipity? I was just reading an article on all the weird sh*t people have found in their food. The Bathroom Reader books are the best series you can ever buy.

[meta187]

 

@GoDK - I am confuse. Where I'm from (and pretty much everywhere else), calzone/stromboli is baked in the pizza oven. Maggots are extremely sensitive to temperature. How in the world could they still be moving?

I see you trying to call bullsh!t , Voodles but you should know by now that Keifer Sutherland is quite capable of anything he puts his mind to, Mr.Silly Pants.

Edited March 18, 2010 by meta187

[Kryten.]

Thankfully I've never had anything in my food. Even the thought of something like a maggot in my food is enough to put me off eating for a while. Its not exactly something I hope I ever have to experience.

 

Also, I have no idea about any of the chips that have been mentioned so far, except Kettel (although there may be differences). I think being in Australia means we have completely different chip companies. However, if I ever travel the world I'll be sure to check them all out.

[ghost of delete key]

 

@GoDK - I am confuse. Where I'm from (and pretty much everywhere else), calzone/stromboli is baked in the pizza oven. Maggots are extremely sensitive to temperature. How in the world could they still be moving?

@Voodoo - I am disappoint.

Never worked in a high-volume, low-class pizza joint, eh?

(and maggots are more resilient than you might think! read on-)

 

To clear up any confusion for non-New-Yorkers:

Where I grew up in and around NY, a stromboli, often called a "Hippie Roll", is like a pizza rolled up into a giant cigar-like loaf. It's normally baked, and sliced into roughly 1" thick slices, each one a spiral of cheese, ham, pepperoni, cappicola, and such.

 

A calzone is more like the bladder of a bagpipe, but instead of being filled with whiskey fumes, it's filled of course with ricotta and mozzarella cheeses and any variety of other good stuff, pretty much anything. And no screechy pipes. The ingredients are all pre-cooked, so all that needs doing is get the dough browned and cheese melted and bubbling.

They are typically poked or scored on top to keep them from splitting their sides while baking.

 

THIS is the one I got, just to be clear. Nearly everywhere else I've been across the US, they got the names reversed.

 

 

Now what most busy shops will do with calzone is bake a pile of them a day in advance. A really busy shop will try to cut temperature and time corners by leaving the prepped calzones at room temp. Then when a customer orders one, they're already fairly warm, and a quick pop in the oven heats them up. Nothing wrong with that, but then again a sloppy shop will do this, but leave them out in the open, like on a counter, instead of in a walled keeper or pie safe or whatever.

 

What happens is a nice little fly will buzz in and have a calzone feast, then lay a buttload of eggs, or even worse, some lay live maggots, typically at the holes poked on top. Within hours these maggots, which could number in the dozens to hundreds, have burrowed their way into the cheese and have been eating non-stop, at least doubling in size or more.

 

If that calzone was laid out at 8:00 in the morning, and you're finally ordering it at 4:30 in the afternoon, you wind up with an animated calzone.

And in such a busy shop, they typically don't leave the calzone in the oven until it's glowing, just long enough to melt the cheese a bit. Besides, cheese is an awesome insulator, so the customer doesn't want to wait 45 minutes for that giant wad of cheese to cool down enough to eat. Besides, to do that, the crust would be burnt, so there's something of a pizza-zen-balance thing going on there.

 

So, if the middle never gets much hotter than 110 - 115 degrees, those maggots will be just fine. They can withstand a fair amount of heat, and as you know, any food that gets cooked should reach AT LEAST 180 degrees.

That would do the job.

 

So people, if you like calzone, make sure they nuke the hell out of it, and be patient for the cool-down.

 

 

 

tripmills will probably know this place:

David's Mai Lay Wah at 10th and Cherry.

 

Too bad, but ... don't go.

I've sampled every joint in Chinatown, but that place had the best home-cooked food in Philly.

They had an "English Menu" and a "Chinese menu", each a different color. although both were printed in both languages, us roundeyes gotta ask for the Chinese one. You'd always get a funny look.

The reason being, it was full of delicacies which virtually all Americans would find extremely disgusting.

Honestly, I think some may have been illegal foodstuffs, like certain reptiles and dog and such, but...

 

They had baby eels with lemon grass, looks like beansprouts with eyes. Damn good stuff.

Frogs in a few different dishes, which were pretty good too.

But the real reason I went there was for the Salt and Pepper Squid with those face-melting green Szechuan peppers. Like deep-fried calamari from Heaven by way of Hell.

 

That is, until the day I got a bucket and found a gigantic deep-fried cockroach in the mix.

I don't mean one of those big trying-to-squeeze-under-the-door kinds, I mean BIG, like gimme-your-money-and-do-it-fast-suckah kind of big.

Really, I thought I found a shoe or something.

Pissed me off so bad too, not because of the actual roach, so much as the fact I was never going back for that salt and pepper squid. They seem to be the only bastards in town that made such a dish.

 

The other joints might be cleaner, but all you'll find is lo mein and dim-sum.

 

 

 

Bon Appétit!

[Voodoo]

Well, that certainly explains it. There's a place like that here that I used to love to go to after bar. Same kind of NY set up with calzone, stromboli and slices sitting at room temp to be heated up per order. Their calzone had a nutty, slightly buttery flavor I just couldn't quite describe. I reckon that was the secret ingredient.

 

 

[meta187]

I reckon that was the secret ingredient.

As an italian I can tell you that's carpenter glue, man.

[The Guru]

I broke my toe

I was playing basketball during lunch and then I accidentally kick the pole/stand of the hoop. Massive pain and it's all purple Have you guys ever broken anything? Like, a part of your body?