Liberty City : Hell

[gamerdude122]

1. Fine. Report me. I'll make another profile if I get banned or whatever.

2. @GangstaKiller: Listen to me. I say that this is the internet and there isn't any real restrictions on here. I can do whatever because the internet is awesome like that. Who are you to tell me who the hell I am? Also, I didn't post in this section of the forums. It was moved.

3. @ Ziggy: Yes! See? That's what I've been wanting from you this entire time. Thank God!! You see, people? Ziggy finally gave you an example of help. I don't classify help as calling me a twat. And Ziggy, I never said I was going to make a book. I just said I have enough to make a book. I also do better when I'm in school writing this as I write each page several times. I'll edit it later. Could you post stuff like that more often... crap you ruined the mood with Stephen King. OK, how's this? I say Stephen King sucks cause its my opinion. If people like his books then fine, I could care less. Its my opinion and nothing's going to keep me from speaking my opinion.

4. @ Everyone: I'm going to edit everything when I have time. I seems rushed because it is a bit rushed.

 

 

P.S. Rockstar isn't going to come at me cause I talked about Max Payne in a forum. They don't even know my real name.

[johnny_zoo]

You only just signed up and your already fighting? Because of the fact your 12 pretty much explains it to be honest...

 

You have blown you top over something so trivial. Its not like he called your work sh*t it was a simple critique.

 

Edited December 18, 2009 by johnny_zoo

[Chunk]

 

A 12 year old cannot justify why he is talking sh*t to somebody who has been on this forum for over 3+ years.

I suggest you get off your high horse, kid.

[leone 13]

gamerdude starting to learn, be nice to the little kid, if he gets banned hes gone, if he doesnt let hime be a dick and just ignore him!

[gamerdude122]

You only just signed up and your already fighting? Because of the fact your 12 pretty much explains it to be honest...

 

You have blown you top over something so trivial. Its not like he called your work sh*t it was a simple critique.

Can you read? Look above you. Read it.

[gamerdude122]

gamerdude starting to learn, be nice to the little kid, if he gets banned hes gone, if he doesnt let hime be a dick and just ignore him!

Yes. I'm learning.

[leone 13]

really? Then pkease dont duble post, did u read the rules, im an olllllllldddddddd profile and you need help with learning if you wonder what ways you need help drop me a pm.

[gamerdude122]

1. Stupid little writing British girl.   OCD told me to fix it.

2. I don't respect you. I had to fix that up. After this much arguing I'm tired of it, and I'm only going to respect the ones that AREN'T fighting with me.

3. Finally! Someone understands that I'm 12! When I turn 13 on May 6, 2010, I'll grow a pair like the karate girl and grow the f*ck up. I want you people to understand that until May 6, 2010, you'll have to put up with it.

4. Ziggy, understand this: I'm never going to quit. I've handled criticism in my own way. That goes for everybody. I handle criticism by fighting back because I have pride in my work and it seems that instead of just reading it, you have to dig deeper to find something wrong with it. It annoys the bejesus out of me. Can you guys get past the part of "not spacing my lines properly"? That's all I ask. My brother can write something and there isn't one comment that criticizes his work. He does the same things with lines as me and everything else but other people go beyond the little things wrong with it and talk about how good his story is or how hilarious it is. Why can't it be that way here? I ask you guys to simply stop picking apart things like how far away my lines are from each other and say something about how many cuss words I've put in there, or that there is too much dialogue, or how there is too much outside of dialogue. That's all I ask. Is it that hard?

Stupid little british writing girl?

 

I live in America, and I'm alot older than you sport.

 

Your words just flutter by me, seriously, respect for you went out the window a long time ago.

1. See? There you go again. Arguing.

 

2. If you're such an American, then why do you say "colour" instead of "color"? You're British. I don't know any American who spells "armor" as "armour". Also, your flag thing below your name shows a British flag.

 

3. You aren't even 18, Mr. 1992. My sister is 22. That's a lot older than me, sport.

 

4. If you have no respect for me then why do you insist on reading and commenting? I know why! Cause you're a liberal, intent on driving me insane, right??

I have moved to America, I AM british Kid, except for the fact I moved a while back.

 

Also, child. I read and comment to help you, although your head is so far up your ass, you wouldn't take it if smacked you in your pubeless free face.

 

Who cars if your sister is 22? I'm pretty sure it'd make sense what with the retarded punctuation and the brainpower of an angry Idiot you seem to display to us all.

 

You take things the way you do because you can't handle somebody could just be better than you, criticism is there to help, either take it or get the f*ck out of here squirt.

Oh and by the way, I'm not a liberal, I'm a writer; intent on helping young writers to better themselves.

 

But with you, I see no silver lining, I see a little kid in the wrong place.

 

You won't take criticism, and as a result, look at your topic, 90% of the posts are telling you to calm the f*ck down, the 10% is by me and the first few posts.

 

All your stories, (Which I hope to God you learn to format properly!) will be full of posts such as this, just know when to shut that little mouth and take in the inputs you've been given, and I'll argue back if I want, A 12 year old cannot justify why he is talking sh*t to somebody who has been on this forum for over 3+ years.

 

I'm not a mod, or even a professional writer, yet I help when I can, see how long you last here with no help and no feedback to your feeble stories.

 

You want feedback besides the lines? Sure I'll give you feedback:

 

1. Many of the words are randomly spliced in, such as And it is put into places where it shouldn't be E,g.

Get And here

- seriously, what the hell.

 

2.The story seems rushed, not spellchecked and not proofread.

 

3. The starting chapter doesn't give us any insight of the characters - Who are they?, what race are they?, Why are they here?

 

4. You space the chapters with uneeded amounts of '------------------------------' Not only does it make the work tacky, it confuses the f*ck out of why the hell you put it there, if your chapters are that short how are you going to put it into this book of yours kid. That's a damn shame.

 

5. Max Payne? Are you kidding kid!? You put that in your 'Book' Rockstar will come down so hard on your ass you'll be crying back to mommy faster than a cheetah on cocaine, unless you feel like using you Car-rat-tay on those writers who think you're abusing a good character.

 

6. The setting? Is their any relevance on the city? The fanfic has been done to death, in the first chapter I didn't read much pointing towards the Liberty City setting.

 

In conclusion:

 

See that feed back above this sentence? It wasn't me fighting you, It was me giving you help to help you become a better writer, but from your attitude you can just leave this forum., I'm done with little sh*ts like you

 

Oh, and before I forget, good luck on the story, I'm sure it's going to give you enough material for a big sucessful book.

 

And for your information: Stephen King is a f*cklot better than you, kid.

Respect came back to you, Ziggy.

[leone 13]

so if i criticzie ur nxt story your nto going to call me a name?

[gamerdude122]

so if i criticzie ur nxt story your nto going to call me a name?

Nope. If people would stop insulting me then they would see that I'm a fast learner.

[Cashy]

Jesus Christ guys, seriously.

 

Firstly, lets all lay off gamerdude122, because I for one, thinks he has potential in him (even if he is a 12 year old kid).

 

Secondly, why the hell are you carrying on this pointless arguement over a criticism? gamerdude, why don't you just finish the story? It's your choice whether you take on board or ignore the criticism. Some people do, some people don't. I sometimes don't, after all it is YOUR work and YOUR choice what you want to do with it.

 

Thirdly, I think you should repost this topic, but without all the arugments. I come back on Writers Discussion daily, and everytime I see a new post on this topic, I hope its something to do with your story.

 

C'mon guys, can't we just all get along? (Or at least keep our arugmentative sides to ourselfs?)

 

gamerdude, I hope to see a bit more on this story, and not more arguing.

 

Ziggy, if this situation happens again, try not to stoop to a pointless level.

[gamerdude122]

Can I delete this damn thing so I can start over?

[Ziggy455]

Just Request a lock.

[gamerdude122]

How do I do THAT?

[Ziggy455]

Just say:

 

"I request a lock please." or "Lock please."

[gamerdude122]

Lock, please.

[Chunk]

Actually, if you want to get your own topic locked, report it and a mod should come along and do the job.

[Rhoda]

Oh, hello.