I Swallowed A Stinkbug!

[ghost of delete key]

AAAARRRGGGHH!!!!

 

No sh*t, I took a swig of my cold coffee yesterday, and discovered the hard way that it collected a few goddamned stinkbugs!!

 

It was the second gulp that alerted me to the crunchy bugs drowned in my cup, which I spat out, but it was too late. I already swallowed a bunch of the putrid sh*t that they ooze. It took a minute for the full aroma to mature on my palate, which of course made me gag and puke.

 

So all night I've been sick, with something like heartburn and a mild headache and slight dizziness.

I looked all over the internets, and found nothing referring to any toxic effects of these nasty bugs. But let me tell you,

YOU DO NOT WANT TO EAT ANY OF THESE LITTLE SH*TMONSTERS!!!

 

Anybody ever do that? You think maybe my kidneys will stop working or something? If I go to the hospital, they'll prolly laugh at me. sh*t made me sick, though.

So what should I do?

I've gotten the occasional taste of our native Green Stinkbug when picking blackberries and raspberries, but they're nowhere near as vile as these sh*tty critters.

Here is one of the evil f*ckers:

 

 

It turns out to be the Brown Marmorated Stink Bug, an Asian species introduced to the Eastern US, most likely through Allentown International Airport (Pennsylvania), where it was first discovered in 1998.

Every year in mid September, they invade houses by the thousands seeking shelter for the winter. Every f*cking year they get worse, and they come out of the cracks all winter long and roast their wretched stink-ass selves in light fixtures, making the whole room reek like rotten cucumbers.

They're exploding in numbers, as apparently nothing will eat them.

 

Now I know why.

They don't go good with coffee.

 

My cat thinks they're flying candy, though.

 

I need an Orkin gift certificate and a stomach pump.

The Chinese can have their f*cking stinkbugs back.

Do. Not. Want.

 

[Hell No..]

Uhhh, nasty dude. I can imagine how bad it is, here we have Green ones:

 

 

But yeah, never tried them in a Coffee?

[Rhoda]

Your natural stomach acids will kill it before it can do anything, that is if it isn't killed by the coffee being forced down your gullet.

[*MURDOC*]

That sucks some balls.

 

My dad got 2 bees in his iced-tea, so be thankful.

[Tsar_Smirnoff]

I wouldn't worry too much about it unless the vomiting symptom continues or you develop any other type of symptoms(could be having an allergic reaction). For the most part though you should be fine, most insects are not toxic and the heartburn is most likely just a reaction to the chemical the insect secretes to ward off predators...it'll go away.

[ghost of delete key]

 

My dad got 2 bees in his iced-tea, so be thankful.

Ouch!

2 years ago I got hit with a nest of yellowjackets while mowing the lawn.

But I didn't eat any, I swear! They're too spicy.

 

Seriously...

I thought I got bit by a horsefly on my side, and smacked it dead-on. That was my big mistake, as that releases an attack pheromone which sets off the rest.

 

I felt the next one on my arm, and thought "TWO horseflies?!? sh*t, they don't bite twice, especially when smashed dead..."

 

and then BAM... BAM and I realized I was in deep sh*t. I ripped my shirt of and whacked the several on my arms and torso, but it was already too late. My legs were literally COVERED with them by the score, and there was a massive cloud pouring out of the ground.

 

I ran like a sissy all the way around to the back of the house, doing the Gettemoff dance to knock them off my legs, swinging my arms like the Wacky Waving Flailing Arm Inflatable Tube Man. I stopped at the door, then BAM another one hit.

 

I got about 25 or 30 stings that I could count, and let me tell you, those yellowjackets can give you a hell of a buzz, no pun intended. My arms swelled up like balloons and turned rock hard, and It felt like some kind of evil amphetamine high. Like your hair's on fire or something. Benadryl helped.

If I hadn't been wearing full-length denim jeans, I'd have been meat. My legs looked like one of those stuntmen covered in bees.

 

At dusk I poured gasoline down the 3 main holes I could find, and gave them a courtesy barbeque.

sh*t burned for like 2 hours. It looked like Centralia.

The nest turned out to be about 15 feet wide below ground. They make enormous colonies where they can.

 

 

@ Tsar_Smirnoff: yeah, It's gone now, but I felt like sh*t all night. I'm not really too worried.

There are some rather toxic insects, though. Blister beetles produce cantharidin, which can burn the skin, and if ingested can cause kidney damage or be fatal.

 

 

And another goddamned stinkbug just flew past my head.

[Saggy]

Dude, go to the hospital, seriously. It's not that you drank the bugs. It's that you drank their festering, evacuated, decomposing bodies all wrapped up in a nice fermented brew of bugsh*t and whatever airborne pathogens had already began the decomposition process.

 

In other words you just had a massively concentrated dose of bacteria, at the very least, and now you're feeling ill. This is one of those moments, that people on Survival TV shows and what not talk about when they say, "I wish I would have gone sooner."

 

Not to scare you or anything.

 

Seriously though man, the human immune system is pretty strong so I doubt you'll die, but I'm pretty sure you're going to be sick.

[ghost of delete key]

Dude, go to the hospital, seriously. It's not that you drank the bugs. It's that you drank their festering, evacuated, decomposing bodies all wrapped up in a nice fermented brew of bugsh*t and whatever airborne pathogens had already began the decomposition process.

 

In other words you just had a massively concentrated dose of bacteria, at the very least, and now you're feeling ill. This is one of those moments, that people on Survival TV shows and what not talk about when they say, "I wish I would have gone sooner."

 

Not to scare you or anything.

 

Seriously though man, the human immune system is pretty strong so I doubt you'll die, but I'm pretty sure you're going to be sick.

NAAAAaaaaaaaa...

Seriously?

 

 

 

Naaaaahhhh.

 

No, man, it was fairly fresh. They weren't rotten or anything. They just landed in my cup like an hour before and discovered they can't swim in 100% pure Arabica.

 

Well, they tasted pretty rotten, but they were pretty crunchy...

And they repeat on you like bad chili. Like for 2 hours I burped that ugly rotten-cucumber taste.

I'd rather drink that exotic alpaca sh*t coffee than do that again. (Yes, there's really such a thing. )

 

Anyway, I seriously doubt I'll get a parasite from it.

It's not like I ate a raw crayfish or anything.

 

Liver flukes, anyone?

[XAF226]

LOLROFLBRGRBBQ!

 

How did you not notice a stinkbug in your coffee? How big was it?

[Qumulys]

lol, sorry man, but lol! In all seriousness, I'd just make sure you keep drinking plenty of water to flush your system just in case. And I've heard about that sh*t coffee, ppl drink it.....why???

 

[Ats.]

OMFG, dude that's nasty. Go to hospital or something. I hate bugs

[trip]

Very gross. Cold coffee - yukk

 

I am with you on the hate of that asian stink bug. We must have read the same article about them coming in through allentown not too long ago. I found the article because I needed to know what this new bug I was seeing was.

 

I had one on my toothbrush the other day

[makeshyft]

Jesus.

 

Crisis averted, I guess.

[ghost of delete key]

How did you not notice a stinkbug in your coffee? How big was it?

Black coffe + black cup + sunken bugs = did not see anything.

 

They're about the size of your thumbnail.

 

And they buzz really loud when they fly past your face.

And now that it's about mid day, they're attacking in force.

 

Maybe later I'll charge mah lazer some batteries and fire up my camera. They're not really swarming on the walls yet, though.

 

And they're really wrecking the trees. Our pears are all catfaced, and the maples look like they got zits.

 

 

I am with you on the hate of that asian stink bug. We must have read the same article about them coming in through allentown not too long ago. I found the article because I needed to know what this new bug I was seeing was.

 

...so you finally got them in Philly now?

They've only been a noticeable problem here in Bucks for about 3-4 years.

 

Now they're almost like shadfly in North Bay. You don't see them all summer, but now you can't go 5 minutes without one landing on your neck, 10 minutes indoors.

[Bates_GTA]

Ew man, i alwasy see this little bastards roaming around my garden and always think how f*cking disgusting they look, sucks that you swallowed one. I'm sure its just thinking about them that makes you sick, not them their-selves, i don't think they'd cause any kind of illness. Myself, i've only ever swallowed a fly or two, and they sit around on feces, i wasn't ill from it though.

[trip]

 

I am with you on the hate of that asian stink bug. We must have read the same article about them coming in through allentown not too long ago. I found the article because I needed to know what this new bug I was seeing was.

 

...so you finally got them in Philly now?

They've only been a noticeable problem here in Bucks for about 3-4 years.

 

Now they're almost like shadfly in North Bay. You don't see them all summer, but now you can't go 5 minutes without one landing on your neck, 10 minutes indoors.

They showed up here about a year ago (maybe 2).

 

They freak me out in my office at night because they are so load when they bang around the walls and desk while flying.

 

They also have no issues with dive bombing head.

 

They still don't freak me as bad as the house centipedes in thses parts

[ghost of delete key]

 

I'm sure its just thinking about them that makes you sick, not them their-selves, i don't think they'd cause any kind of illness. Myself, i've only ever swallowed a fly or two, and they sit around on feces, i wasn't ill from it though.

Nah, I didn't actually swallow the bugs, they just made themselves into a wonderfully robust brew in the dregs of my coffee.

And it seriously did cause stomach upset, like mild heartburn, no nausea, bit slight dizziness and a touch of headache around the eyes and temples. I'm not easily grossed out; it wasn't psychosomatic... it was definitely a reaction.

 

But it's cool now, it's done with-

unless you count the lingering urge to climb to the roof and attempt to fly off....

 

bbbzzzzzzzzzzz....

 

<edit>

@tripmills:

 

you mean like this?

 

 

Keep enough of them in the house, and they'll keep the stinkbugs at bay.

 

Edited September 24, 2009 by ghost of delete key

[Oxidizer]

I very nearly swallowed an earwig when I was little, it was in my cup of water and I felt something crawling around on the inside of my mouth along with the water and I spat it out in the sink and freaked like a spaz at the critter wriggling around. I tip all the empty cups in the house upside down and shake them before using them now and have done ever since.

[Machiavelli's Prophecy]

@tripmills:

 

you mean like this?

 

 

Keep enough of them in the house, and they'll keep the stinkbugs at bay.

 

What the f*ck is that?! If i ever see one as big as that i will run hard(and cry)

[Slamman]

Hang on, Imma gonna laugh long and hard at this, then I let ya finish....

 

 

haha It gets old some days, but thanks to Kanye West, we can all get annoying with plays on his infamous line, but....

 

Getting back to swallowing foreign objects. SPIT IT OUT (as Rush would suggest) next time that happens.

There is an "old wives tale" about an old lady who swallowed a fly, I guess she'll die.

 

I've seen them millipedes in my apartment, they go after the spiders I assume, that's all I have in my home.

[Carnage1120]

I live in New york city, sh*t like this would never happen here, if it did. Someone would sue faster than you can say "Oh sh*t". Everyone is sue happy.

[Wolfenz]

I live in New york city, sh*t like this would never happen here, if it did. Someone would sue faster than you can say "Oh sh*t". Everyone is sue happy.

So you can sue a stinkbug? I'm sure they have a wast wealth of money waiting to be stolen....

 

Anyway it seems that you pretty much got some boiled down stinkbugs down your gullet. I doubt the coffee would kill of any bacteria or germs that where on them at the time (who knows where they've been, toilets, dog sh*t even bins). Also the fact the actual bug would be boiled down slightly isn't going to be good at all.

 

Probably best to inform your GP before you get something weird and freaky. You never know, odder things have happened to people who have ingested something typically harmful.

[ptiko]

Its gonna make a new home in your throat, multiply and bust out of your chest like the alien in ....alien

 

 

[chris]

I cant beleive nobody has made a joke somewhat along the lines of "Wow man your breath must stink. You guys let me down

 

On the plus side i doubt we will see many stinkbugs in the UK because of the more or less year long winters we have here.

[Rebel]

Uhhh, nasty dude. I can imagine how bad it is, here we have Green ones:

*PIC*

 

But yeah, never tried them in a Coffee?

We have green ones? Really? I can't say I've ever seen them about.

[Panz]

Holy crap. I counted 20 on my deck door yesterday as I came home from school. I couldn't even go through that door..They're f*cking disgusting, especially when they fly around you.

Ugh.

 

ghost of delete key: Bucks County?

[Creed Bratton]

Worst case scenario, you sh*t will smell worse then average sh*t.

[Star-Lord]

Damn Ghost, That's some sh*t right there. I would seriously go check myself out if I were you, just to be safe. You just never know what diseases those tiny butt critters might carry. f*ck, just picturing you swallowing that nutritious protein packed coffee covered with a hint of sh*t stinky bug makes my stomach turn.

 

If you start to feel light headed with sudden urge to smell your own poop. Careful, you might be mutating Just kidding

 

Nah Go see the Doc, he'll/ she'll give you some antibiotics

[trip]

<edit>

@tripmills:

 

you mean like this?

 

 

Keep enough of them in the house, and they'll keep the stinkbugs at bay.

 

Holy sh*t I sure hope that isn't a house centipede.

 

I'm talking about this one

 

They climb walls, ceilings, they are very fast...oh and they sting. The biggest one I can think of seeing might have been about 4 inches(<12cm for my metric brothers and sisters) not including the legs

 

Not that I would want to drink a stinkbug, but I would take drinking a stinkbug over drinking a house centipede. They plain old freak me out.

 

 

[*MURDOC*]

 

They've only been a noticeable problem here in Bucks for about 3-4 years.

 

Ahhhh a fellow Bucks resident, yeah these f*ckers have been pissing me off the last few years, they fly into my f*cking head at high speeds and chill in my lampshade making huge shadows, so im like "WTF is that!?", then i realize its one of these assholes, then I get the electrified tennis-racket looking thing.